AUTHOR'S NOTE: Well... Think it's safe to assume you guys liked that last chapter! :-) It's like this thing just keeps coming out in waves. One minute I'm completely stuck on what to write, and the next I'm just cracking out pages left and right. That chapter was definitely the longest thus far. Not sure how long this one will be at the moment. Simply have to wait and see. Enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: No I do not own the characters of Michael, Alex, or anything to do with Nikita. This is just me expressing my love for the show.

The Truth

~Previously In The Truth~

On the top of the folder, in big bold letters was the name of an op Division had done. What caught her attention was the name of the target.

'Target: Nikolai Udinov and Family.'

This was her family's file. From Division.

Chapter 11 - How Far Are You Willing To Go?

She was shaking... That was the only thing Alex noticed as she stared down at the file in her hand. She was shaking from head to toe. Slowly lifting her head, she met Michael's gaze once more. Opening her mouth to speak, she hesitated and closed it again. Feeling the doorknob digging into the skin of her left hand from holding it so tight, she realized that she was still blocking the doorway and Michael was still standing out in the hall which wasn't the best place to be having this conversation. Hand falling to her side tightly clutching the folder, she stepped back and tilted her head sideways quietly saying, "Come inside."

Michael nodded and stepped by her into the loft. Softly shutting the door behind him and locking it, she took a deep breath before turning to face him. He went to say something, but she held up a hand. "Just... Just give me a minute." Walking over to the phone in the kitchen, she glanced at the time. 3:45P.M... This could take hours. Lifting the phone off the charging dock and flopping the file down on the counter in front of her, she dialed and nervously bit her thumb nail as she heard the ringing.

Walking into the living room, Nathan grabbed the phone off the coffee table and pressed Accept. "Hello?"

"Hey Nathan, it's Alex," was the nervous greeting that came over the phone. Raising an eyebrow, Nathan glanced at the clock. The show wasn't for five more hours. Wonder what this is about.

"Hey, Alex! What's up? You getting ready for tonight?" he asked, flopping back on the couch.

Leaning against the counter, Alex crossed her left foot over her right, avoiding looking at Michael who had gone considerably still when he found out who she was talking to. Cringing at what she was about to do, she fiddled with the tie of her robe. "About the concert... Nathan, I'm sorry, but more problems came up at work, and I honestly don't know if I'll be done in time to go to it."

Hanging his head back on the back of the couch, Nathan inwardly sighed. I should've known. Man, that girl works too much, but... I can't hold it against her. "It's okay, Alex. Don't worry about it."

"Are you sure? I mean I would love to go, but work is just crazy right now," she replied, and he had to smile at how conscientious she was being. Poor girl was worried about him when her job was pulling her from all sides.

"Seriously, it's fine. Just try not to overdo it at work, alright? You're only human, Alex, you can only take so much," he reminded her softly.

"Don't I know it," Alex muttered anxiously glancing over at Michael again. Clearing her throat, she quickly said, "Sorry again for canceling, Nathan. Enjoy the concert for me and I'll talk to you later?

"Will do and see you later, neighbor," he chirped, before ending the call.

Setting the phone down on the charging dock, Alex finally turned around to face Michael. Only he wasn't looking at her... Okay, he was looking at her, but not at her face. Watching him trail his gaze up from her feet to her face she was confused. "What?"

She looks so innocent, ran through his head as he took in her appearance of the damp wavy hair with her bundled up in the bath robe and her bare feet shifting on the floor. To Michael, Alex looked so normal this way and for once she looked like a regular 19 year old girl, er, young woman. For this one moment, she didn't look like someone whose life had been torn to shreds in a matter of minutes. Not only that, but she didn't look like a person Division trained to be an assassin. In this moment, she was just Alex... He liked her this way.

Watching him, she noticed his eyes were dark with emotion when she snapped him out of it, and smirking slightly he commented, "You might want to get changed first." Glancing down at herself, she felt her face turn bright red. Gulping, she looked up at Michael who was still smirking with a strange look in his eyes. Backing up, she carefully started easing back to her bedroom, Michael's gaze following her the whole time.

"Um, I'll be right back..." she trailed off embarrassed and hurriedly shut the bedroom door behind her. Sagging against it, she pressed her palms to her face to try to cool it down. Calm DOWN, Alex! Lecturing herself the whole way to the closet she could still feel the heat in her face. Michael saw me in a robe... God, that's embarrassing. On the other hand... He had seen her pretty much topless before when she was first brought into Division. I wasn't FACING him at the time! I also was at least wearing pants then. God, what if the robe had come undone?... Why was he looking at me so weird? Banging her head on the closet door, she wanted her mind to just shut up. "Get a grip," she mumbled. "It's not the first embarrassing thing you've done in front of Michael and it probably won't be the last. Get over it, get dressed, and go back out there to find out what the hell he's doing with your file."

Briefly tugging on her hair, she yanked open the closet and grabbed a T-shirt and some sweatpants, neither of which Amanda would approve of. Grabbing under clothes out of the drawers, Alex kicked the drawer shut and slid the closet doors closed. Pulling the clothes on she considered pulling her hair back, but knew that it would just result in a tangled mess if she did. She already had enough messes to deal with, she didn't need to add her hair as yet another one.

Turning, she prepared herself to go back out and face Michael. For a moment, she thought of just staying in the room and driving Michael up the wall waiting for her, but she wasn't that cruel... Most of the time. Smirking at the idea, it calmed her down a bit, and briskly walking to the door she paused before swinging it open. Alex slowly strolled back over to grab the file off the counter keeping her emotions in check. Facing Michael she put on her best poker face and lifted the file up to eye level. "Where did you get this, Michael? How did you get this? Better yet, what are you planning on doing with it?"

Michael had to admit she could do a good poker face, but her eyes gave her away every time. He could see the suspicion in her eyes, and the distrust. While it stung to see it, he knew he deserved it after what had happened that morning. Sticking his hands in his pockets, he decided to keep it simple and short. "Percy's office, Birkhoff, and that depends on you."

Blinking rapidly, Alex tried to make sense of whatever the hell just came out of his mouth. "Huh?"

Smirking, he held up his left hand. Lifting one finger, he said, "Where did I get the file from? Percy's office." Michael held up a second finger and grinned. "How I got the file? Well, that's thanks to Birkhoff, Division's resident tech genius." Holding up a third finger, the smirk gradually disappeared. "As for what I plan on doing with the file... Like I said, it all depends on you."

Raising an eyebrow, she skeptically tilted her head at him. "Yeah... Okay for one thing, you're insane to break into Percy's office, Birkhoff or not. For another thing, Birkhoff? I tell you about my past and you involve him? Geez, Michael, you may as well have signed my death sentence already!" she yelled, shoving the file hard against his chest knocking the breath out of him.

"You really need to stop doing that," he grunted, before holding the file out to her again. "This file is yours, Alex. Take it."

Snatching the file back from him, Alex chucked it at the table then turned back to him and glared.

He took a step forward and reached out to her, but she flinched and stepped back. Sighing, he slowly stepped forward again and clapped his hands down on her shoulders before she could move away again. Searching her eyes, he saw her anxiety, anger, and...fear? Is she afraid of me? Or of what could happen? Squeezing her shoulders, he carefully lifted his right hand to brush her hair back and met her gaze. "As far as Birkhoff, don't worry about him. Just because he's Division doesn't mean he isn't trustworthy. He's just as much a gray area in there as I am, and he's my friend. He won't tell anyone anything that could get you, me, or especially himself in trouble. Seymour's not as loyal to Percy as he is to me, got it?"

Gulping at the jolt of warmth that ran through her when Michael touched her, Alex nodded slightly. "Got it," she breathed out. Easing back out of his grip, she defensively crossed her arms over her chest. "Now what did you mean when you said what was done with the file depends on me? If you expect me to do something like give up where Nikita is, then you may as well just turn me in because that will never happen."

Tipping his head forward in compliance, Michael knew that she would never betray Nikita like that. "I figured as much, Alex. I wouldn't ask you to do that anyway. Not after everything that's happened," he informed her, searching her face for any sign that she believed him. There was no use lying to her or keeping anything from her. All that would do is cause more problems. He saw her posture loosen a bit, but the suspicion increased tenfold.

"Then what do you want?" Alex asked, cocking her head. She could see the sincerity in Michael's eyes, but sometimes that only went so far with people when it came to him. The act of deceiving people. It was all part of their training in Division. He didn't usually trick her per se, but after what she'd told him, Alex didn't exactly know where they stood anymore.

Shrugging off his jacket, Michael draped it over the back of a barstool. When he sat in it the reverse way with his legs on either side and the back of it against his chest with his arms hanging over the back, she hid a smile. He never acted like that, or behaved in any way that wasn't expected of Division's Second-In-Command... Except with her. Why is he so different with me?

Pushing up the sleeves of the button down shirt, Michael loosely laced his fingers together and let his hands hang over the back of the barstool. "I want answers."

Walls slamming into place, Alex walked right up in front of him. "I already gave you answers," she hissed through her teeth. "I told you everything earlier and there is no way in hell that I am reliving that again. No way I'm reliving any of what happened earlier again." Hands clenched into fists at her sides, Alex couldn't believe Michael would have the nerve to say that.

Michael had known she'd been hurt earlier with the way he had acted, but seeing it and hearing it again in her voice made the guilt a bit harder to live with. The fact that she'd been crying was just as obvious. The shower may conceal the signs, but it couldn't get rid of the scratchiness of her voice. Lifting his right hand he held it out towards her. "Come here." When she hesitated, he whispered, "Please, Alex."

Carefully placing her left hand in his, Alex grudgingly moved towards him when he pulled on her hand. Sitting in the barstool next to the one he occupied, she tried to remove her hand from his, but he didn't loosen his grasp on her and instead turned the seat so he was still facing her. Not having the will to fight, she sadly gazed at him. "Michael, what do you want from me?"

"First, I want you to relax. I'm not here as the enemy, Alex," he assured her, lacing their fingers together. "For another thing, I wanted to apologize for earlier. I seem to be saying sorry to you a lot lately. In the past, it's been relatively minor problems. Yet how I treated you today, after you trusted me with everything about you... It wasn't right. I never should've thrown Thom back in your face like that. You had a bond with him and for me to degrade it so horribly... I can't even put into words how disgusted I am with myself for that or how unbelievably sorry I am for doing that to you. I know it's damaged your faith and trust in me, and I know it's not going to be fixed over night, but I am telling you now, you can trust me, Alex," Michael said with so much conviction and honesty in his voice and on his face, that it was almost overwhelming to Alex at how open he was being with her.

Squeezing her hand, he leaned forward so she couldn't look away from him. "When I said I wanted answers, I didn't mean about what you told me this morning. I meant answers about just how far you're going to go in your plan to takedown Division."

Wrinkling her eyebrows, Alex felt even more confused. Admittedly it wasn't just about what he was saying, but also about how his touch was making her feel. What is wrong with me? This is Michael! Why am I feeling so strange around him? Thoughts were running rampant in Alex's mind. You know exactly why, a quiet voice in the back of her head responded. Mentally shaking herself, she got back to the current situation. "I don't get it, Michael. What do you mean how far I'm going to go?"

Licking his lips, Michael stared at their intertwined hands. Speaking softly, he elaborated by asking, "I mean... What are you going to do? Who will you fight... Maybe even... Kill... If they get in your way? Who will you let go? Who is on your list of people that need to go? Percy? Amanda? The recruits? Everyone in Division?" Me? Michael wanted to ask what she would do to him if he stood in her way, but refrained.

Realizing what he was asking made Alex squirm uncomfortably and she leaned her right elbow on the counter, resting her head in her hand staring at the tiles on the countertop. She'd been avoiding the idea of having to kill anyone, but knew it could come down to it in the future. Would she be able to pull the trigger on someone? Could she willingly take a life like that even if it was for the cause? Alex would fight like hell, but other than the accident with Thom, she'd never killed anyone. Nikita had always been there if it came down to that. What would she do at that point in time? I don't know.

"Michael, I... I really don't know what to tell you," Alex admitted softly, biting her lip. "Before what happened with Thom, I'd never taken a life before. I don't want to do that ever again, but Division has to be destroyed. While the concept of giving people a second chance is all well and good, the type of chance they're giving isn't the right one. All they train us to do is kill people. Well, that, or to lie and be deceitful and it's not the way for anyone to live their life. I know that sounds off coming from the girl who's been keeping secrets this whole time, but I did it to keep myself and Nikita alive. You have to know that's not really me, Michael. That's not who I am."

Gripping his hand tightly, she prayed that he would believe her. Other than Nikita, Michael was the one person alive who knew her the best. He thought that he didn't know the real her, that she had lied to him. When in reality, even with the lies Nikita had devised to keep her safe, Alex had never been able to be anything but herself with Michael.

While Michael was glad to really hear Alex say it herself, that she really didn't know if she could kill anyone, it didn't ease his worries any. The question was though, was he more concerned about what would happen to people in Division in the end, or what would happen to Alex in the crossfire? Get your head on straight, buddy. You need to get your priorities in order. The voice sounded strangely like Birkhoff, but he really didn't know what his priorities were anymore. Rather what the differing level of importance was between them. Division... Alex... Nikita. Michael couldn't help but wonder about the whole damn ordeal. When did things get so complicated? The facts made him think otherwise. Correction: When haven't things been so complicated?

Feeling the tension in her hand, he subconsciously started rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb. "I do know that, Alex. Now I know for sure anyway. I knew it from the beginning, but everything you told me just caused so many doubts to surface, I didn't know what was really fact and what was a lie. You might not like the training Division has done with the recruits and agents, but Nikita helping you accomplish it at advanced levels is probably the only thing that's kept you alive so long. You're a strong spirit, but if you weren't capable of hiding the past behind an elaborate lie, they would have outright killed you."

When she grimly nodded in acknowledgement of what he'd just told her and he knew that Alex understood, he eased her chin up with his left hand. "You still haven't answered my question, Alex."

Alex took a shaky deep breath and pressed her lips in a thin line. "So ask me again."

Holding her chin steady, Michael stared in her eyes. "How far are you willing to go?