Sorry to leave you on a cliffhanger :) This chapter took longer than expected to get done. But enjoy!

I break the kiss first. Not because I don't want to kiss Alex – I very much do – but because I'm unsure of the reasoning behind it. I'm beyond confused. Didn't Alex just say she wanted to put the discussion about romantic feelings on the back burner? Then why did she just kiss me?

I pull back and lean against my pillow, and Alex reads the perplexed expression on my face. Before she can put any words together, I demand, "What the hell was that?"

She looks away from me shyly. Alex Cabot – feeling shy. Unheard of. I have her all tongue-tied and at a loss for words. I continue to stare at her until she finds adequate words to answer me with. "Yeah, um, sorry, Casey. I know I must have confused the hell out of you."

"That's an understatement!" I tell her. "First you tell me that you don't want to talk about my feelings towards you, then you kiss me? That is beyond confusing…it's just wrong. What do you want?"

Alex's warm blue eyes lock and mine and she smiles. "I really do like you, Casey. I have feelings for you too."

I feel like someone has just given me an award. I actually feel all warm inside, and a smile spreads out across my face. The sorrow and guilt I was feeling only moments before has completely vanished and been replaced with some semblance of a happy feeling.

Alex Cabot has feelings for me. The most beautiful, intelligent and confident woman on this planet likes me.

I can only sit there in shock as she begins to speak again. "When you said you felt the same, it caught me off-guard. I hadn't planned on bringing any of this up right now. We have way too much to think about and do…and I had meant it when I said this needed to be on the back burner for now. But when you started talking about pleading guilty and your arraignment and giving up…I couldn't take it, Casey. I couldn't stand hearing you talk that way. I hate that you feel so badly about yourself that you believe you're not worth fighting for. You have a future, and I wanted you to see it. I kissed you because I wanted you to know that you have someone to fight for. It wasn't how I imagined kissing you for the first time, believe me. But I think you needed it."

I'm in utter disbelief, but Alex is right – I did need it. All I could think about in that moment was Alex, and what it would be like to be with her. How it would be wonderful to be touched in a kind and loving way every day, and how much I'd enjoy gazing into those soulful blue eyes daily. I've never known anyone like Alex before – I really don't like anyone else like her exists.

But I need to know if this is real, or just a ploy to make me not give up. "Why do you have feelings for me?" I ask her.

Alex reaches onto the bed and takes my hand, squeezing it gently. "Because I think you're amazing, Casey. At first I didn't feel this way about you, but after we started hanging out and I got to know you, I realized I felt something much more than friendship. And when we laid together in bed…it wasn't sexual at all, I know, but it felt so good and so right. It felt like where I belonged."

My eyes are watering now, and Alex squeezes my hand again when she sees my tears and then continues. "I like everything about you. I know you don't think much of yourself, but there's so much about you that's special. You've been through hell, and you're still a nice, considerate person. You're intelligent. You're beautiful. You have a good heart. And you're way too down on yourself. Despite what you might think, you deserve none of the abuse you received. I know getting your license suspended spun you off your axis a little, but Casey, it doesn't have to end your life. You have so much more to offer. And I'm going to make sure you know that. I'm going to fight alongside you, and make you realize that you are a valuable person and that you mean something to the world. You're not allowed to give up, Casey. You're not allowed to give up, because I feel in my gut that you – Casey Novak – are going to make something incredible out of your life. And if you give up, there's no hope for the rest of us."

I can't believe what I just heard. Alex thinks I have worth. She thinks I'm somebody worth saving. I don't even know how to describe what I'm feeling right now, probably because I haven't felt it for a long time. I think it's a small amount of hope and happiness.

Alex suddenly goes very serious and squeezes my hand harder. "And what you have to be understanding about, Casey, is this - I've never been with a woman before. I've never had these types of feelings for one until now. And it…kind of scares me. So I'm just going to ask you to be patient with me, okay? This is all new to me."

I have no idea how to respond to what Alex has said at all. This is all overwhelming. Moments ago I was certain I was going to plead guilty, and now my world has been turned upside down. I have no idea what I should do about myself, and I'm the first woman Alex has had feelings for. How can this be? I'm nowhere near good enough for her.

Alex is looking at me like she wants me to say something, but I can only stare at her. "Casey – some sort of response would be nice."

I snap out of my daze and finally allow myself to form words. "I'm sorry. It's just…this is a little overwhelming. When you ran from my room, I thought you didn't feel the same and we could never be friends again. My insecurities went back up. And now – " I swallow harshly. "Now I don't know what to think, Alex. I'm so happy you have feelings for me…but what do I have to offer you? I have no job, no money, I'm living at your apartment, I'm facing felony charges…what basis do we have for a relationship? When I told you my feelings, I never expected either of us would act on them – I just wanted to be honest and tell you how I felt."

"That's what I wanted too – to be honest with you," Alex tells me. "That's why I told you it's my first time having these feelings for a woman. So you'd understand if I'm not…good at this. It's been a long time since I've been in a relationship at all. And I do want to try with you. You mean a lot to me, and I like you too much to not make an effort. I think it's going to be hard…but I'm up for the challenge. I'll make some mistakes, Casey, but if you can forgive them, I promise I'll be loyal and always have your back."

She has tears in her beautiful blue eyes, and it makes me smile. It makes me smile, despite everything that is happening. Despite being in the hospital and facing criminal charges, at this moment, I'm truly happy. I want this to last forever.

Alex is interlocking her fingers with me and she smiles warmly at me. "So…what do you say? Want to give me a chance? Take pity on a girl who has only the purest intentions?"

I want to say yes. I want to jump up on the bed and pull this tube and these IVs out of me and go running down the hospital corridors yelling at the top of my lungs in happiness. But I'm realistic. There are hurdles we are going to have to get past. Big hurdles. As much as I want this…I'm not sure I can clear those hurdles.

I let out my breath and close my eyes. "I want to say yes, Alex. But how can I? You were right – my timing was horrible. I never should have opened this can of worms right now. I'm facing felony charges. I could wind up in jail for a long time. Why start something that we won't get to finish?"

"You aren't going to jail, Casey," Alex says again, in a stern tone. "You aren't pleading guilty, and you aren't going to jail. We're going to do just what I said…and you're going to be okay." She waits for my response and when I give none, she says, "You can't plead guilty, Casey."

"But, Alex, I deserve to be punished. You know how I feel. I ruined Rebecca's life. I know she ruined mine too, but I permanently wrecked hers. Where's the fairness in me just walking away?"

Alex is frustrated. I can see it in her eyes. "Where's the fairness in you giving up? You're better than this. You need to fight, Casey. You weren't in the wrong. And you have so many people who will be behind you…so many people who will care. If you plead guilty, you are turning your back on every single one of them. And that's not fair either."

A tear slides down my cheek and I lower my voice. "But Alex – I have nothing."

"Not true," she says, positioning herself in front of me again. Without warning, she plants another sweet kiss to my lips. When she pulls away, she holds her face inches from mine and says, "You have me." Tears are spilling out of each eye now. "Let me help you. Let me show you that you are worthy of a happy life. Please."

Staring into those blue orbs that reflect nothing but kindness and car, how in the world can I say no? I know she is honestly fighting for me. I trust her completely.

And I know I have to stop being selfish. Wanting to give up and be alone is a cowardly, selfish thing to do. I have Alex, and I have Olivia and Elliot. People who care. How can I let them down?

I swallow harshly and meet Alex's gaze once more. Once I have it, I hold it and say, "Okay – I'll fight. I won't give up."

Alex squeezes my hand again, and leans over to give me a hug. I instinctively flinch at first, and Alex notices. Sudden movements like that startle me. Rebecca never used to hug me. Our contact was only negative and would always end in me being in pain. I'm not yet completely used to good touches.

I stare at Alex, blinking my eyes, and a knowing expression grazes her beautiful face as I struggle to explain what I'm feeling. I know I owe her an explanation. "I – I'm sorry," I stutter. "It's just that – "

Alex shakes her head, and touches my cheek with the back of her hand, smiling sympathetically. I immediately melt under her touch; this feels so nice. "Don't explain, Casey – I understand. It will take some time. But soon you'll realize that you deserved to be touched in this way. You deserve to be hugged, and you deserve to be kissed. You deserve everything you have been denied." She moves her hand down to mine and squeezes it again. "And I'm going to teach you."

We interlace our fingers again, and I sit back against my pillow, enjoying the feel of my hand in Alex's. We're still gazing into each other's eyes, and suddenly we're the only people on earth. The only two people who matter, anyway.

Maybe things really will be okay, with Alex by my side.

Monday morning I am released from the hospital before nine AM. My lung is repairing itself nicely, and I no longer have to fight for breath. I'm given strict instructions for bed rest for at least another week to prevent another lung injury and allow my ribs to start to heal.

My arraignment was set for tomorrow, but Alex got it pushed back to Friday. She says because of my "medical excuse" – but she forgets that I used to be an ADA, and I know that in order to grant a medical excuse, the defendant has to be in the hospital at the time of arraignment or damn near dying. And I'm neither of those. So I think Alex being Alex Cabot has something to do with my arraignment being rescheduled.

And Alex keeps saying I won't need to go anyway – she's so sure we can convince McCoy to drop the charges. I wish I shared her enthusiasm; but sadly, I don't. I'm not as optimistic about it.

Alex takes a half day off work to bring me back to her apartment from the hospital and help me get settled. I know Olivia and Elliot could have handled this just as well, but I don't say anything to Alex. She's being super sweet. She brought me a little teddy bear and is sitting next to me on the bed as I wait for my final discharge papers.

There's something on my mind that I want to put out there, but I'm not sure how Alex is going to react. She'll either be okay with what I'm going to say, or she'll freak. It will be one extreme or the other. But I have to say it before we leave the hospital.

"Alex?" I call softy, causing Alex to take my hand again and turn and look at me. "I want to ask you something."

"Of course. Ask."

"Do you think it would be okay if I saw Rebecca before we left?"

The look on Alex's face right now is priceless. Her eyes are wide and she's staring straight ahead. I can almost feel her panic. It's several seconds before she's able to look at me. "Why would you want to?"

"I just…need to see her. I want to apologize to her."

Alex sighs heavily. "Casey...under the circumstances, they won't let you see her. And it's not a good idea anyway; seeing her will make you feel worse."

"I'm an adult, Alex. I think I can make my own decisions."

Alex doesn't like this suggestion one bit, and really, I don't blame her. In her place, I would think it was ridiculous too. But I need to see her. In order to come to terms with what I've done, I need to see it with my own eyes; however painful and difficult it may be.

Alex sighs again. I can feel a change in her posture and her attitude. "We'll go to ICU. We'll talk to her doctor. Okay?"

We don't get a chance to discuss it further. A nurse comes in with my discharge papers and goes over my rest instructions for the millionth time. I am barely listening to her – I'm just anxious to get out of here. I get a copy of my discharge papers and two more slings for my arm, and then I'm on my way.

It's awkward to walk. I'm on a very strong pain medication now so the pain is minimal, but it still feels strange, as if I've been in bed for days. The only pain I'm really feeling is my ribs jolting around and my left side where they had inserted the tube. I'll have a scar there. But my arm doesn't hurt at all and at least I can breathe again.

I purposely walk slowly to avoid strain and further damage to my ribs and lungs. Alex is walking right beside me, her hand on my back, making sure I'm taking it slow and steady. We get onto the elevator, and she breaks contact with me for the first time since leaving my hospital room. And that feels strange.

Alex pushes the button for the second floor and then stands next to me, offering her support if I need it. But I feel pretty steady right now. Worn out, but steady.

"ICU is on the second floor," Alex announces. She still looks uneasy and unsure about me wanting to see Rebecca. As soon as the elevator doors slide open on the second floor, she looks at me. "Are you sure about this?"

I just nod and we step out of the elevator together. I start to approach the desk to inquire as to what room Rebecca is in, but Alex gently takes my arm and starts leading me down the hall on the left. I'm confused at first until I remember that Alex has spoken to her doctor already, so of course she knows what room she is in. Unless they have moved her.

My heart starts to pound and I feel sicker with each step I take. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea…I feel like I'm actually sweating. Seeing Rebecca is going to make this all real. Instinctively I reach out and seek out Alex's hand. She takes it and smiles at me.

I can do this. Alex is by my side, and she believes in me. I can do this.

We stop in front of room 232. The door is open, and my breath catches in my throat as I stop dead in my tracks. That is it…she's in there. A few more feet and I'll be able to look inside and see her.

But I can't make myself move. I'm like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. Alex gives me a squeeze and whispers to me, "You shouldn't go inside, Casey. We'll find her doctor."

I know I shouldn't go inside. Every logical part of me is screaming at me to turn around and abandon this crazy idea. But I can't. It's like my mind is working on its own right now.

Alex tells me not to move and steps away to go find a nurse. In the second it takes her to leave my side, I take those two awful steps and put myself in front of Rebecca's open door. All I have to do is turn my head…

And then an angry voice calls out, "What are you doing here?"

I turn just in time to see a woman literally come running out of Rebecca's room. It's her mother. I'd only met her once, but I'd recognize her anywhere. Her eyes are red and puffy, and she's seething with anger.

"You have some nerve coming here!" she shouts, so loudly that she spits a little. Her face is growing red and suddenly she gets in my face and advances on me until my back is pressed against the wall. She's just as intimidating as her doctor.

"Hey!" Alex yells, immediately coming to my rescue. She grabs Rebecca's mother and forces her away from me. "Get the hell off her!"

But the angry look never leaves Rebecca's mother's face. "You have no right to be here!"

I feel a tear slide down my cheek. She has every right to be angry, to hate me. I destroyed her daughter's life. I'm responsible for her being in that hospital bed. I swallow and manage to say, "You should be yelling at me. I deserve it. But I'm sorry. I'm sorry that – "

Without warning, Rebecca's mother slaps me across the face. She slaps me so hard that I can hear her flesh connecting with mine, and my cheek immediately stings. But I don't hit her back. I just raise my good hand and hold it over my cheek, looking at the floor in shame.

Alex is outraged. "You have no right to hit her!" she practically screams, quickly placing her hand on my shoulder for support.

Rebecca's mother is crying now, and even though I know it's wrong, I feel sorry for her. She loves her daughter.

"She nearly killed my Rebecca. She's going to have brain damage for the rest of her life!"

"And your daughter nearly killed Casey too; on more than occasion. Look at her – she was just hospitalized with a collapsed lung because your daughter beat her and broke her ribs," Alex says sternly, and I see Rebecca's mother flinch when she hears that. "Casey acted in self-defense. Your daughter made her terrified."

Her eyes travel to me and I think I see a momentary look of sympathy, but it quickly fades and is replaced by sorrow and anger. "There is no excuse for what you did. You could have dealt with the situation differently!" She's beginning to get out of control and begins to shake, and that's when she steps away from me and raises her hand, shaking her head and deciding she's done with me. "I have nothing more to say to you, except this – you will be hearing from my attorney. We're going to sue you for every penny we can. You're going to pay Rebecca's medical bills for the rest of her life." She gives me one last look, and then turns and goes back inside Rebecca's room.

Oh no! More trouble for Casey? Can the girl catch a break? What do you think will happen - will McCoy drop the criminal charges? And can Alex start to make Casey feel better about herself, even with everything going on? Please review and let me know what you think!