Answer The Phone
December 24
4:00am
House and Cuddy were sleeping when House's phone went off. House quickly got out of bed and grabbed his phone. Cuddy pretended like she was sleeping so that House did not know that she was awake. Cuddy waited until House was in the kitchen before she rolled out of bed to try to listen to him. Cuddy stood outside her bedroom door and listened to House.
"I can met you about 9:00 this morning," House said. "I will think of something to tell Cuddy." Cuddy knew that House must be talking to the travel agent. Cuddy hoped that meant that House's plan had worked. When Cuddy heard House get off the phone, she quickly ran back to bed. House came back into the room a minute later. House got back into bed and wrapped his arm around Cuddy.
The next morning, Cuddy got out of bed early to go make her and House some breakfast. House woke up to the smell of eggs from the kitchen.
"Morning," House said sleepily as he walked into the kitchen.
"Morning," Cuddy said. "What would you like with your eggs?"
"Just eggs are fine," House said. "My stomach hurts a little."
"Maybe you should go lie down for a little while longer," Cuddy said.
"I have to run to the hospital this morning," House said. "I left my Gameboy there."
"Okay," Cuddy said.
"You talked to Wilson, didn't you?" House said.
"What?" Cuddy said. "Why would you say that?"
"Because there is no way that Lisa Cuddy would let me go to the hospital for such a stupid reason unless she knew something," House said.
"I don't know what you are talking about," Cuddy said.
"Yes, you do," House said. "You are such a bad liar. You have a giant smile plastered on your face."
"Wilson did not tell me anything," Cuddy said.
"I am very smart Cuddy," House said. "I can tell that what you just said was a play on words. You said that Wilson didn't tell you anything. You didn't say that you did not know anything."
"I have no idea what you are talking about," Cuddy said.
"You still have a giant smile on your face!" House said.
"Maybe I am just happy to see you," Cuddy said.
"Even you are never that happy to see me to make you smile like an idiot," House said.
"It must be all the hormones from my pregnancy then," Cuddy said. Cuddy put House's plate in front of him and gave him a kiss on the top of his head. "I am going to go take a shower."
"When you are in there, wash that smile off of your face," House said as he started to eat his eggs.
*********************************************
When House got back home, Natalie was in the living room talking with Cuddy.
"Why did you let that in our house?" House asked.
"She brought fudge," Cuddy said.
"Fudge with poison," House said.
"I planned on slipping the poison in your egg nog," Natalie said.
"She is threatening to kill me again, Cuddy," House said.
"A few days ago, you said that you were going to shove her in front of a train," Cuddy said.
"We are know that I was kidding," House said. "I don't think that she is."
"Lisa and I made an agreement that I would only kill you if you cheat on her," Natalie said. "She did plan on doing it, but she does not want to be in jail if she has a kid. If his father is murdered, Jordan is going to need his mother."
"I am glad that you guys have that all planned out," House said.
"As a mother, I will have to think ahead," Cuddy said.
"This is exactly why women scare me," House said. "They sit around and talk about murdering their boyfriends and husbands."
"We also talk about how the guy is in bed," Natalie said.
"I don't have anything to worry about in that area, so I don't care," House said.
"Are you about that you do not have anything to worry about?" Natalie asked.
"I have the scratch marks on my back to prove it," House said.
"Maybe she was scratching you to get you off of her," Natalie said.
"Cuddy," House whined. "Tell her how good I am."
"Believe me," Cuddy said with a smile. "She has already heard the stories."
"With details," Natalie said.
"And people talk about how guys are bad for talking about their sex lives," House said.
"Not bad people," Cuddy said. "Just jerks."
"And what does this make women?" House asked.
"People who can talk about their feelings," Cuddy said.
"Oh, brother," House said.
"That is because we do not just talk about the sex," Natalie said. "We also talk about our emotions."
"Let me guess how this conversation goes," House said. "House was such a jackass today. Then two seconds later it is, 'House has such dreamy eyes.' Then Cuddy starts talking about how much she loves me. The next she talks about is how she worries about my leg."
"That is actually pretty close," Natalie said. "It is not dreamy eyes, though. It's sexy eyes."
"They are dreamy too," Cuddy said.
"Cuddy, that is not the part that is not the part that you should be correcting," House said. "You are supposed to say that I am not a jackass."
"But all three of us would now that I was lying," Cuddy said.
"I am not a jackass all of the time," House said.
"That is true," Natalie said. "It is probably only about 95% of the time."
"I would say that he is only a jackass 80% of the time," Cuddy said.
"Thanks for defending me Cuddy," House said.
"Your welcome," Cuddy said.