Something in the Water
Author: MoonStarDutchess
Chapter 11: Girls Gone Wild: Part 1
Disclaimer: AN: Full Metal Alchemist and all its characters are the property of Hiromu Arakawa. No profit was made from this fanfiction. The only things that I do own are the OC's. This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of original characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The author holds exclusive rights to the overall course of the plot. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
AN: CRACK FIC… Don't like it don't read it. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and enjoyed this fiction so far.
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Girls Gone Wild: Part 1
Havoc, Breda, Falman, and Fuery made their way down the clean, orderly hallways of headquarters with no particular destination in mind. A terminus wasn't what was currently dominating their thoughts. Their main focus was the shock over the action of their fellow officer, Riza Hawkeye. In all the years that they worked with her, this was the first time she ordered them out of the office. They'd received the malice look before but never for such a reason as making them vacate a room. It was as if something had completely possessed the normally composed woman.
"What exactly are we supposed to be doing?" Breda questioned, breaking the silence that had wrapped itself around the men. "I mean… all of our work is in the office."
"She didn't exactly give us a specific task did she?" Falman questioned. "She just told us to get out."
"Maybe she was sick, she did look awfully flushed," Breda said. "Still, she would have normally given us a task of some kind."
"Maybe we should go back and ask her," Furey suggested. All the men looked at him like he was incredibly dumb. He cringed when he realized that it was indeed a very idiotic suggestion. It was just that he was shocked at her actions toward them and his brain wasn't functioning correctly. "Never mind, that was stupid."
"Yes, yes it was," Havoc said. "I personally would like to live past thirty thank you very much," he said, then lit his cigarette. Since Hawkeye wasn't around, he would take the opportunity to get his nicotine fix.
"I hope the General is alright," Breda said. "It seemed like she was targeting him with that gaze of hers. Only he wasn't getting the, make the men shit themselves from fear one."
"Yeah, the gaze she gave him was definitely different from the one she gave us," Falman said.
"Hum… maybe she got horny and wanted sex from him in the office," Havoc said; the laugh on the end of his sentence indicating that he was joking. As if Hawkeye would do something like that in a professional setting. She was too perfect an officer to act in such a manner.
They all started laughing at Havoc's joke. Hell would have to freeze over for something like that to happen.
They continued to walk down the hall toward the exit, not really paying attention to the fact that all the office doors were open and the rooms were unoccupied. When they walked past one of the many conference rooms that were situated on the floor, Havoc found himself being grabbed by the back of the collar and pulled into one of them. The other men continued on their way, not noticing the fact that their friend was no longer with them.
Havoc was thrown down onto the oval shaped red oak table used for the conferences. He growled in slight pain and flipped over onto his back to see who did it. Much to both his surprise and relief, he saw it was Olivier Armstrong.
Unlike with most people, her name or appearance didn't strike fear in him. He knew that it was only appearance and… okay she was an all around scary individual, but he'd grown used to that. They'd run into each other at a bar one night and hit it off pretty well. He even bought her a drink. That drink turned into several other drinks, which turned into dinner. Of course, nothing could come of it since she was rarely in Central. Besides, a woman like her wouldn't be interested in a guy like him in a dating manner.
He moved to sit cross-legged on the table and rubbed the back of his neck. After taking his now smashed cigarette out of his mouth and discarding it in a trash can, he turned his gaze to her.
"What's the big idea? That hurt you know," he said, gazing at her back, she turned around and smiled seductively at him, which caused his stomach to flip flop. This wasn't good… well … it was good but not. Damn, he was confused. Any woman that smiled at a man like that meant that some sort of sexual contact or merely a slight seduction was to follow, which was wonderful of course. However, it was bad because it was Olivier Armstrong doing it and that was completely and utterly… It was… Well it just didn't happen. It didn't seem right coming from her and especially not directed toward him.
She crawled up onto the table on all fours with him, and started toward him; reminding Havoc of a cat that was just looking forward to being- he gulped-petted.
She shrugged off her jacket slowly and threw it across the room. She wore the tight brown military shirt that most of the women wore unless they were in a strict office setting. It was much like the shirt that Hawkeye wore except Olivier's was long sleeved and actually tighter. Her hair was cascading down her shoulders as she crawled toward him, and her lips were smirking as if she was about to partake in something incredibly delightful.
"General…ma'am… what's wrong with you?" He stuttered, completely baffled about why she was acting the way she was. His voice cracked as her hands moved up his legs slowly, stopping and squeezing sections tightly on the way to his manhood. While he was emphatically attracted to the woman before him, this was too much. There had to be something wrong with her. Olivier Armstrong didn't seduce a lower officer. He would never fit into her life as anything but a friend; even though he wished he could be more than that. Why did he always develop crushes on unattainable women?
He looked into her blue eyes and saw the same look Hawkeye had in hers when she was looking at Roy back in the office. It was then that everything came together . . . lust. Oh shit, he'd been right! Office sex! Something was wrong with Hawkeye and Olivier!
For just a moment his mind went away from the woman that was trailing her hands along him, and that moment was enough time for him to be knocked flat on his back with Olivier on top of him biting his neck.
He bit his lip as she bit the weak spot on his neck with her teeth. He had to get out of this situation or he'd end up taking her up on the offer that he knew she didn't really mean.
He felt her hand cup his private area and knew he'd be a lost cause in a few minutes.
Summoning all the strength he had he pushed her off and pinned her down on the table, straddling her waist.
"Ma'am! Stop it! You don't know what you are doing!"
She grinned mischievously. "Never thought I'd like being pinned but it's quite pleasant. I like it rough," she growled, reminding Havoc of a lioness. "Being called Ma'am makes it even better."
Havoc's eyes widened when he realized the position they were in. He quickly moved off her and headed toward the door. She sat up and laughed loudly.
"The chase makes the sex even better. You can run but I'll catch you!" she said, grabbing her coat and sword and running after him.
--
Furey, Falman, and Breda made their way out of headquarters and down the stairs, deciding that they wanted to go get some coffee since they really didn't know what else they could do. All of their work was in the office and the office was currently occupied by a less than friendly Lieutenant and their boss (who was probably on the receiving end of her unfriendliness).
"Hey Havoc, didn't you mention grabbing another pack of cigarettes at th…"Breda trailed off when he realized Havoc wasn't with them. He turned all the way around to search then looked at Furey and Falman.
"Where'd Havoc go?" he questioned.
The other two men looked around, also noticing that Havoc was no longer with them.
"I thought he was with us," Fuery said.
"KAIN FUERY!" a rather odd sounding loud voice said. Fuery turned in the direction of the voice to see his girlfriend Scieszka stomping toward him. It wasn't like her to be so loud unless he screwed up…which he rarely did. He stiffened and tried to control the desire to run in the opposite direction. When Scieszka got angry, it was terrifying.
"What'd you do to earn that tone?" Falman questioned.
"I don't know," he said with a fearful voice.
Scieszka stopped in front of him and placed one hand on her hip. "Why aren't you working?" she snapped.
"Um…Lieutenant Hawkeye ran us out of the office," he said meekly. He was baffled at the way she was acting but figured it was best not to question her. Maybe she was PMSing and ran out of chocolate or something.
"Oh," she said, in her normal tone.
Fuery looked at her strangely.
"Hehe, I need your help with something in the library. Will you help me?" she questioned sweetly. He quirked an eyebrow at her and nodded slowly as she grabbed his hand and led him away.
"That boy is whipp-" Breda started to speak but was cut off by a yell. He and Falman turned to see Havoc running down the stone steps taking two at a time, and running through the courtyard at full speed. They then turned back to the doors of the building when they heard a maniacal laugh. Olivier was standing there, her sword drawn, and jacket unbuttoned.
"The hunt is on! Hahahaha! I'll catch you Havoc and your penis too!" she said and ran after him.
"Yes…hell has frozen over," Breda said.
"Which circumstance has you saying that? Oliver Armstrong running after Havoc or Havoc running away from a woman?"
Breda looked at Falman. "It can't be both?" he questioned.
"Yeah, I suppose it could," he said.
"MEN!" a feminine voice said. Breda and Falman turned to the left to see six women standing there staring at them as if they were pieces of chocolate just waiting to be taken a bite out of.
"I like the chubby one!" one of them said, licking her lips.
Breda took a step back and gulped. "What the hell is going on here?" he said.
"Oooo the tall one is sexy," another woman said, causing Falman to take a step back as well.
"I don't know Breda but my money is that though they all are very attractive women if we stick around we are going to be part of a giant group orgy."
"OOO THAT SOUNDS FUN!" several of the women shouted.
These words caused Breda and Falman to turn around and run back into headquarters, the women following them.
"You know, if they didn't look like they wanted to maim us I would have been up for that," Breda said.
"Same here," Falman replied.
As they ran past messy desks and empty offices Breda comment, "Have you noticed that the offices are all empty and there's no one around?"
"Yeah! There's something really odd going on and we have to figure it out, otherwise we will be running forever," Falman said.
"Or until we get caught," Breda said.
"Sirs! In here!" a voice said. Breda and Falman spotted a sergeant standing at the door waving them in. They rushed through the door and helped a group of male officers barricade it with a set of lockers. They leaned their backs against the lockers and fell down to sit on the floor.
"Damn, that was terrifying," Breda said.
"Yes it was," Falman replied.
"Would you like some water?" a sergeant asked, handing them two paper cups.
Breda and Falman took them and drank the liquid down eagerly, the cool water a relief to their parched throats. After finishing, they looked up at the officer and around the room. A bunch of other male officers was sitting on the benches, many of them looking extremely disheveled.
"Do any of you know what is going on around here?" Breda questioned.
"No sir. The women just started going crazy and attacking us. They are acting like for a lack of a better word, men!" he said. "They've all gone sex crazy. We managed to lock the gates to keep them inside the premises so the civilians won't be affected by their sexual needs."
"Aren't we in the women's locker room?" Breda questioned.
"It was a random decision to come here sir," he said. "You don't exactly think when you have a sex obsessed woman on your heels."
"How true," Breda said. "What's your name Sergeant?"
"Lee Blackburn sir," he said.
Breda and Falman stood up and looked at the door. "Well, we need to find out what's going on."
"Sir, there's no way we can move around headquarters without the women getting after us," Blackburn said.
Breda looked at the lockers and saw some female clothing. He grinned as a plan began forming. "Men, I've got an idea." He turned to Falman. "What size panty hose do you wear?" he questioned, causing Falman to pale.
AN: Hope you enjoyed the chapter. More coming soon and please review if you wish.