As I'm sure most people have noticed, it's nearly Christmas. And it also happens to generally be a very busy time of year for everyone, me included :) so enjoy this chapter as it may be the last one before Christmas, possibly even New Year, but I will try my very hardest to get the chapter after this one up because I can't wait to see people's reactions :) I was planning on making this chapter longer and ending with a bit of a cliff hanger in Italy, but since I haven't put a new chapter up in a while I figured it'd be better this way. Also, thankyou everyone for your reviews! I appreciate it so much!
"We can't," my father's voice was flat as he spoke those words. We were back in Forks, again. Far away from my friends, and all too close to my enemies. We were at Carlisle and Esme's house, of course, sitting in their lounge room. Everyone's faces were strained.
"Edward is right, it's just not wise," Carlisle agreed solemly.
"We can't just do nothing! We need to know what's going on here!" Mum exploded all of a sudden, shooting up from her seat. I knew this was frustrating her.
"Even if the Volturi are somehow involved in all of this, we have no choice but to do nothing. You don't question the Volturi's authority!" Rosalie cried.
The room was divided on what to do. After mum and I had told dad what we had seen, we had driven straight to Forks to tell the news. Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie all believed that it didn't matter; there was nothing to be done. I agreed with them, to a point. The Volturi were too powerful to challenge, even if they were breaking their own laws.
Emmett, Jasper and Alice were all of course more than prepared to fight against them. They all had gifts to protect them and give them an advantage, though, so I could see why they would be the ones ready to attack. My mum was with them, and dad was torn. He had a very strong sense of justice, but did not want to put any of his family in danger.
"It's about time someone challenged them though," Emmett growled.
"Well it's not about time to get our whole family killed, Emmett," Esme chastised him.
"It doesn't have to be like that," mum insisted.
"There's no other way," Carlisle sighed.
"We need to know what's happening," Jasper pointed out. "It could affect all of us."
Everyone joined in then, and it was impossible to hear anything. There were shouts coming from all over the room.
"It is not our place to get involved."
"Whatever is going on is going to affect the whole vampire world!"
"It's not safe for us to do anything!"
"It's not safe to let whatever is happening continue!"
"We need to think of our own family first!"
"The Volturi might not even be invovled!"
"Oh come on, the woman said Italy for crying out loud! What other vampires would live in Italy that know about hybrids?"
"We need to go to Italy!"
"It's too dangerous!"
"I'm not afraid of them."
"I'm afraid of them hurting you, though," Esme's quiet voice was what finally broke through the noise. It was the first time she had actually spoken out like that, and everyone turned to look at her.
Emmett, who had been the one to say he wasn't afraid, looked at the floor. He cared enough about his mother to not want to hurt her by getting himself hurt.
"What if we didn't challenge them? What if we just went to talk to them about what we've seen, acting like we didn't think it was them?" I suggested weakly. I really had no idea what I was talking about. I just wanted to feel as though I was contributing.
"Aro…," Alice smiled at me sympathetically. That made me feel fairly stupid. How did I not think of that?
I looked over to Carlisle. Edward may have been my father, but Carlisle was the one that everyone turned to when looking for answers. He was the oldest and the wisest. Everyone else suddenly turned to look at him too. We couldn't just sit here talking about this, some decisions needed to be made one way or another.
"I'm prepared to go to Italy…" Carlisle said slowly. I held my breath, waiting. I had a deep longing to go to Italy all of a sudden. There would be others the same as me, people who could understand. I was desperate to see them, to have proof that there were others out there, hopefully tamer than Nahuel. I needed to see that.
Carlisle shot a pained looked at his wife, and then looked back around at everyone else. "I don't think it is the best idea, however. We have managed to stay out of their attention for some time now, and I would prefer for it to be kept that way. You don't ever go looking for the Volturi unless…well…," he coughed quite awkwardly.
Before I even fully had the chance to realise what he was talking about, and feel sad for my dad and what he had gone through, a sense of calm washed over me.
"We don't all have to go?" Rosalie suggested in her tinkling voice.
"I want us to stay together, whichever descision we come to," Carlisle disagreed.
"Carlisle, you know that going is the right thing to do," Dad murmured, staring at his own father figure. That made me feel hopeful. He was switching to our side.
"Not if it will hurt our family!" He replied more strongly.
"This isn't just about us, and you all know it," Alice cut in. Her eyes were blazing, and I knew she wanted to get straight to the point. "This is something that is going to affect the whole vampire world. We can't just sit back and do nothing. Sometimes we need to sacrifice parts of ourselves to protect others as well."
Everyone was staring at her except my father. He was looking at Carlisle, and I wondered what he was thinking.
"What did you see?"
"I'm not going to tell you because it is not crystal clear. I can't see properly with all these other hybrids around; I'm not used to them like I am with Nessie."
"Alice, please. We need to know. Just…tell me, will anyone be hurt if we go to them?" Carlisle sounded upset.
She shook her head.
"Like I said, I can't see properly, but I'm fairly sure we will all be okay," she frowned, "physically."
Everyone was rather quiet after that, but I got the feeling we all knew the inevitable. We had to go to Italy. Had to face the so-called 'royalty'. Everyone else had such high respect for them. Or maybe it was just fear, but either way I felt nothing towards them. They meant nothing to me, it was like they were distant friends of a friend.
Seth, who had been lying in the corner of the room watching, let out a little yelp. Dad's eyes flashed over to him and hardened.
"Tell him he isn't wanted here, Seth."
Before anyone could ask what was going on, Jacob shoved open the door.
"What the hell is going on!" He demanded furiously. His eyes landed on my face, and they softened. I could feel my own eyes start to sting.
"None of your business," Mum snarled.
He stepped towards me, looking torn. I wondered where Leah was.
"It is my business. You can't take her away. Not to that place," he growled. I could see the anger building, and it sparked my own temper. He had no right to care. It was my life, and what I did was my choice.
"We are her parents, and we make the decisions in her life, mongrel. Speaking of decisions, you made yours. Now get out," dad growled back.
"You know what she means to me," Jacob's eyes narrowed, and I choked out a laugh.
"We all know what I mean to you! Nothing! So why are you still here?" I cried out. It felt so unfair for him to be here, flaunted in my face.
"It's not like that…," he whispered.
"I don't care what you think is right or wrong, none of this has anything to do with you. Stay out of it," dad was watching him very intently, clearly reading his thoughts.
"I'm a part of her life too. I won't let you take her to them."
"You chose not to be a part of my life. So you get no say in it," I replied bitterly. My eyes had really started to sting, and the tears overflowed and trickled down my cheeks.
"I want to be in your life… I care about you so much," his own eyes were suddenly glistening. My heart felt as though it would rip in two. I had thought that seeing him in pain would comfort me somehow, make me feel as though there was some kind of fairness and justice in the world. It only made me feel worse though, and I wanted to reach out and comfort him.
It didn't change the hurt that I felt, though.
Jasper let out a small groan suddenly, and everyone looked at him.
"Get him out. He's breaking her heart," he shook his head sympathetically.
I started sobbing uncontrollably then. I didn't want to look at him for another minute, but being without him I felt so empty. The world felt so far away as I sunk to the floor and burried my face in my hands. I just wanted to block them all out, block everything out.
"Go and start packing some things everyone. We'll catch the first flight out," I heard Carlisle say quietly. I heard the light footsteps as everyone left the room.
"Don't you dare hurt her even more," was my mother's last words before she followed everyone else upstairs.
Instantly hot arms were around me.
"I didn't want it to be like this," Jacob murmured feverently.
"Too late. It's already like this," I sobbed. I loved him and hated him so much at the same time. As he tilted my head back and pressed his lips against mine, I could already feel my threads of devotion towards him repairing, though. With everything I had I tried to fight it, I was not going to let them be repaired only to be severed again.
I broke off the kiss, to his surprise, and fought back more tears.
"I will not let you hurt me. I told you before and I'll say it again, I'm not going to let you put me through this. If you go through with this with Leah, like you already have pretty much, I won't be waiting for you. It's over forever, right here and now if you choose to be with her, even if it's just a casual thing," I stared at him with determination.
"Regardless of that, you are not going to Italy," he said sharply.
"It doesn't matter what you say, it's not up to you anyway."
"I'm only trying to protect you," he murmured, running his fingers through my hair.
"Why is it you feel the need to protect me from everything but yourself?" I replied quietly. He seemed to pick up on the sadness in my voice.
"I can only protect you from things I understand," he muttered, shaking his head.
"No wonder I can't understand you, if you don't even understand yourself?" I said tenderly, reaching up and twining my fingers through his. I brushed the tears off my cheeks with my free hand.
I couldn't help but love him. It was impossible to feel his warm, soft skin, and look in to his beautiful deep brown eyes and not love him. I couldn't feel a single negative emotion towards him.
Alice and Rosalie came back down the stairs then, carrying suitcases and interrupting my moment.
"Almost time to go. Did you want to pack or would you like me to do it for you?" Alice asked hopefully.
It would have been safest for me to pack my own clothes, I knew, but I was too preoccupied for it to bother me that much. Alice and I had fairly similar fashion tastes anyway, though. Mine were probably a little more skanky, whereas her choices were more 'stylish'.
"Feel free to do my packing for me," I said.
She grinned and danced back up the stairs, and I looked at Jacob. The pain on his face was evident.
"How long will you be gone for? If you go?" He asked.
I bit my lip. I had no idea how long it would take. Hours? Days? Everything seemed to be a bit of a mess, it could take forever to sort out. Jacob's eyes were probing as they scanned my face.
"I'm sorry," I admitted. And I really was. I wanted to go, but at the same time I wanted to stay and work things out with him. I needed to be responsible about it, though. What was more important, the whole vampire world or my relationship with the boy who continually hurt me? I knew the logical answer, but it's just a fact of life that your head and your heart are never in sync.
Everyone started coming down the stairs then.
"I think it's time we headed off, everyone," Carlisle announced.
Jacob's arm tightened around me, and I could feel myself smile. His arms were so strong and protective.
"Why does she need to go?" He asked weakly.
"She's part of our family. We need to all be together to stay safe," Mum replied, sounding quite exhasperated. Jake opened his mouth to speak again but she cut in.
"-And I know what you're going to say, you'll protect her, she's safe with you. Which is exactly what you said last time we let you take care of her," mum's eyes narrowed. "I'm not going to make the same mistake twice."
"Neither would I," he muttered in reponse, pressing his face into my hair.
Alice was the last one to walk out of the room aside from Jacob, mum and I. She had the biggest suitcase, and I prayed that it wasn't supposed to be mine.
"We'll deal with it when we get back. We'll be waiting in the car for you Nessie; you're coming with dad and I in the Volvo."
My heart picked up then. I didn't know what to say to him, or what I should do. Would he try to kiss me? Would I want to kiss him back?
I should my head to get rid of that last though. What a stupid question.
I tried to gather up all the confidence I had though, and stood up, straight and tall. Staring him in the eyes would be the hardest part.
"Like I said, I won't let you hurt me again Jake. I love you so much, but I love myself too," I said strongly, briefly wondering if that sounded too shallow. Ugh. I needed to stay focused.
"And like I said to you, I just need some time before I'm ready to be with you. I love you too," he murmured.
"No. I'm not going to put up with you dating Leah. I know that people say when you love something you've got to let it go, and if it comes back it was meant to be and all that crap, but that isn't me. I didn't really think it was you, either, but apparently I don't know you as well as I though I did. So we'll just wait and see what happens in Italy. Because we could be killed for all we know, and maybe you need to live with the fear that I could be dead before you really figure out what you want." I paused to see his reaction for a brief second.
He looked stunned, and with that, I kissed him quickly and turned to run out the door.
Would love some more reviews, if I get enough support I'll try to get the next chapter done and up in a few days :) what do you think/would like to happen next?? I already know of course, and it's not going to change haha, but I'd love to hear some opinions :)
Merry Christmas everyone! Happy holidays