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S Meyer, as always owns all the characters in Twilight –still not mine!

Chapter 11

BPOV

Once again I woke up in the huge bed in the enormous bedroom. Once more I showered, dried off and searched through the wardrobe for something to wear. I ended up with a simple pair of pants with a button down shirt in a lovely pastel yellow. Unlike yesterday my underwear was dry! Which meant I would be wearing some today!

Lingering in the bedroom, using any excuse not to go anywhere near Edward Cullen, I searched through the wardrobes trying to find clothes that would suit me and that I could wear over the next few days or however long I was going to be here. There were so many outfits hanging on the racks it took quite a while. During my hunt I came across a ski suit. Perfect!

I was getting so bored being cooped up inside that I needed to persuade Edward to let me go out and get some fresh air. I felt stifled and depressed.

Rejection was something I'd never had to deal with before. I'd never allowed myself to open up to any man. I already had lots of hang-ups about my body and how I looked, being turned away by Edward hurt more than anything I had ever experienced before. Why had I allowed myself to be so open with him? Why had I let him undress me? He hadn't even taken his socks off and there was I as naked as the day I was born! But what a turn-on!

I burned with regret and embarrassment.

Setting off for the main lounge I decided to hold my head high and ignore completely the events of the night before. I would forget all about the joy I had felt as I revelled in letting go and being naked for the first time with a man. I remembered the feeling of Edward's hands and mouth on me as he slowly removed my clothes. I could feel an echo of the heat I'd felt in my centre as I melted with desire. I'd wanted Edward, unfortunately in the end Edward had not wanted me.

If he was going to act like he had a stick up his ass then that was up to him. I was going to start to look for a way out of here.

I could hear him rattling about in the kitchen, pans clanging and dishes being moved about with some force. It didn't sound good!

Right let's put on a happy face. As the saying goes: Fuck him!

"Good morning Edward, how are you this fine sunny morning?"

No reply. Sulky bastard.

"Look the weather is absolutely gorgeous today and I want to go outside and play!"

He looked across at me raising one eyebrow.

"I found a ski suit and I'd really like to go outside and get some fresh air and to explore a little bit. I'll stay in sight – and besides where on earth could I go as we're so cut off up here. I'm not going to walk anywhere and you have the keys for the car, and the road is completely blocked. Come on Edward, Why don't you come out too?"

"Okay," said Edward. "You go outside and play nicely. I'm going to stay in here and listen for the news." He sounded and looked worried. What had crawled up his ass?

I practically skipped back to the bedroom and quickly put on the ski suit. Passing back through the kitchen I waved at Edward. Up yours Edward! His attitude had seriously put me off him. He seemed surly and distracted and still refused to look me in the eye. I flipped him the bird as he turned back to the radio. I felt better already!

Outside I kept skipping backwards and forwards in front of the window where I could see Edward. I wanted him to think that I was having good wholesome and innocent fun. In actual fact I had spotted a shed a little way from the house. I watched Edward like a hawk and when he disappeared from the kitchen I seized my opportunity.

Slipping into the open shed I spotted two shapes shrouded in tarpaulins. Pulling up the side of one I couldn't believe it when I saw a snow-ski. There were no keys! Right I was going to go inside and hunt for the keys. I'd never driven one but I'm sure I could have a good try.

I quickly made my way back to the house and just as I opened the kitchen door I could hear a cry of rage and anger. Standing in the middle of the kitchen Edward stood with a look of such pain and suffering in his face I felt immediately frightened.

I watched in disbelief as Edward swept cups, dishes and cutlery onto the floor. He began systematically to throw everything he could touch all around the kitchen shouting and swearing as he threw.

Terrified, I stood rooted to the spot. What on earth had happened? Was I in the hands of a total madman?

Then I heard the radio:

"We go back to the report that Lou Giodino, the prisoner who escaped with the still missing Edward Cullen died of his injuries which he suffered when he tried to avoid recapture. We are going over to our reporter outside the prison where....." The radio was abruptly silenced as Edward threw it across the kitchen where it smashed against the wall.

I honestly didn't know what to do. Devastation surrounded us. This just made me more determined than ever to make my escape.

Edward slumped exhausted to the floor with his head in his hands.

I heard his broken voice. "I'm so sorry Lou! It's all my fault, all my fault. So sorry."

He picked himself up and took himself towards his bedroom. I let him go, refusing to listen to that little voice in my head telling me that he needed help. I needed more help.

This was my opportunity.

I quickly searched the drawers in the kitchen and found a bunch of keys. Great! I took the keys out to the shed and found the key I needed. Tugging off the tarpaulin I dragged the heavy snow-ski outside until it was pointing towards the open countryside in front of the house.

Straddling the machine I turned the key and set off down the hill.

EPOV

I'd felt like shit when I'd woken up. Memories from the previous night were bouncing round in my head. How could I have possibly treated Bella the way I had? First I kidnap her, terrify her and then try to seduce her (unsuccessfully). She was quite right; I had been a complete and utter bastard.

She was sweet, passionate and willing. A vision of Bella, naked, completely naked pressed up against the window, gasping with pleasure as I nuzzled and licked my way down her gorgeous body, popped into my mind. Why did I let myself get so bothered about the fact that I came in my pants like a teenager?

The great Edward Cullen had always been a model of self-restraint. I'd always been in control during sexual encounters, completely! No woman had ever before brought me the edge of losing control. Perhaps it was because of my five years inside, but I didn't need Bella telling me that she thought that she thought the same.

I would have dealt with that if she hadn't then said that she understood that I was only looking for a warm body to sink myself into and that any female would have done! I lost it then. Feeling strangely vulnerable I then acted like the out of control teenager she thought I was.

Even so, I can't believe I treated her like that, just because of my own idiocy. Thinking back it didn't seem like she was upset by my less than stellar performance. It was all me, I was upset with myself.

After a very quick shower I went through to the lounge and stared out of the window. The view of the towering mountains was spectacular but I didn't really see it. I needed to think through how I was going to get Bella back to civilisation without leaving her with the stigma of spending time with me. That she needed to leave was now obvious to me. Guilt had shown me what a selfish fucker I was. I had nearly destroyed her life and she had shown me nothing but kindness. I had to face reality and accept that I shouldn't consider seducing her. I should let her go – and soon. Before it was too late and I couldn't let her go.

Hang on. Couldn't let her go? Where did that come from?

I thought of Bella and immediately wanted to continue where we left off – only this time I would sink into her glorious body and make wild and passionate love to her. There would be no holding back, but there would be tenderness and loving.

Stop Edward thinking this. This way lies madness.

Bella is too good for you. True.

My inner debate ceased as I thought I heard Bella moving about in her bedroom. I went through to the kitchen and decided to clean it up and then make her some breakfast. Perhaps I could show her a different face.

I started to worry about Lou and the thought of that bastard Warden Boyle hurting him really made my blood boil. Angrily now I started collecting the dishes to be washed. Damn Boyle. I wanted to get hold of him and hurt him as he had hurt my good pal Lou. I could feel my fists clench as I pictured punching him in the face over and over again.

I scarcely noticed Bella as she came into the kitchen and prattled on about going outside and playing in the snow. It was now time for the news on the radio. Perhaps there would be some report about Lou and his recovery. I wanted to find out if he was getting better and I was hoping to hear that it all had been a big mistake.

As the headlines were read out Bella went outside waving at me. There was nowhere for her to go to out there and perhaps the fresh air would do her some good. The presenter on the radio said something about a press release from the prison.

The voice seemed to come from a million miles away: We would like to say that Lou Giodino, the prisoner who was recaptured after his attempted escape with Edward Cullen has died from his injuries. The prison authorities greatly regret his passing and there will be an official enquiry into his death.

I couldn't believe it. Lou was dead! Lou, who brightened up my day, every day for five years was dead! Lou, without whom I would not now be free! Lou, who had only a matter of weeks before he was released on parole was dead!

I lost it completely! Nothing was safe in the kitchen. Pots, pans, plates, dishes – anything I could get my hands on went flying through the air!

I couldn't stop the string of expletives as they spewed out of my mouth.

I was dimly aware of Bella, looking terrified staring at me.

Then I was aware of the radio once more:

"We go back to the report that Lou Giodino, the prisoner who escaped with the still missing Edward Cullen died of his injuries which he suffered when he tried to avoid recapture. We are going over to our reporter outside the prison where....."

I threw the radio viciously against the wall and sank in despair to the floor with my head in my hands. All I could think of was Lou. "I'm so sorry Lou! It's all my fault, all my fault. So sorry."

I staggered off to the bedroom to lie brokenly on the bed, guilt overwhelming me.

The house was quiet and I was aware of my heartbeat slowing down as I tried to take deep breaths.

Suddenly my heart leapt as I heard the sound of an engine. What on earth was that? Had somebody found my hideaway? Where was Bella and was she safe?

I rushed into the lounge and stared out of the window. I saw a snow-ski weaving its way down the slope in front of the house, skewing madly from side to side. What the hell? Then I recognised the ski suit – Bella damnit! What the hell was she doing?

I reckoned by the way she was riding the snow ski that she had never been on one before in her life. They were dangerous things and if she had an accident......

She could kill herself! I wanted no one else to die because of me!

Quickly I grabbed the spare keys for the snow skis from the drawer in my bedroom. Grabbing a coat from the wardrobe I dashed out to the shed. Fumbling, I managed to get the snow ski started. I pushed it out onto the snow and leapt on board.

Following the tracks left by Bella I pushed the machine as hard as I could. Luckily I was an experienced snow ski rider and I followed the weaving trail with ease. I could see Bella in the distance but I was quickly catching her up. I saw she was approaching a small wood and she didn't seem to see the danger ahead of her. She continued on her way heading straight for the trees.

I couldn't push the machine to go any faster and I watched with horror as Bella disappeared between the trees.

I panicked shouting loudly "Bella, Bella! Stop!" My voice bounced back off the trees.

I followed the tracks as they entered the woods. I slowed down following the weaving trail. I looked ahead and noted with horror a small lake. Surely not! The two lines headed straight for it. Pulling up beside the lake I could see the shape of the other snow ski slowly sinking beneath the surface.

Oh god, Bella. I jumped off my snow ski and called for Bella only to be greeted with silence. She must have gone in. Without thought acting purely on instinct I plunged into the icy waters. I swam desperately over to the spot where I had last seen the sinking machine. Holding my breath I dived under looking desperately for the snow ski. I could see the outline of it as it sank slowly to the dark and murky bottom.

Despairingly I splashed around in the cold, freezing water. "Bella!" I yelled, panicking. "Bella!"

Absolute silence hung around the lake. Not even a bird was chirping. Nothing!

The cold seeped into my bones and body. My teeth chattered as I shivered uncontrollably. I dragged myself onto the snow laden banks of the lake, despair eating away at my soul. Bella was gone, she was dead and I had killed her.

Tears rolling down my cheeks, I sat myself down against a boulder. I didn't deserve to live. My poor , beautiful, innocent Bella was no more. Using my numb fingers I tore my sodden coat off and clumsily tore my shirt open at the front.

I would join her. Death would be quick in this freezing, numbing cold. My shivering had stopped and a kind of peace came over me. I closed my eyes ready to die.

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