Tobias

There is no use getting to the fringe. Road blocks are setup along the perimeter and all traffic is redirected to the Bureau. Almost every part of me wants to disregard the government and drive my truck into the fringe to find her myself, I know if I do so, I would have to be prepared for resistance. Problem is, I hadn't brought a gun. I have a spare stashed in mine and Tri's room and another at Johanna's office, both are of no use to me now. I make a mental note to keep one in my truck in the future.

I brush my fingers through my hair and let out a big exhale. At least I am being redirected to the Bureau; knowing it's director, Matthew, has advantages. He is my best chance in finding out about Tris.

Time ticks by. I make little progress. Hours later, when I finally get the Bureau building in my sight, I notice the influx of government trucks also returning.

I pull up to the gate and the attending guards look over my truck. One man comes up to the driver's side window; I roll it down.

"State your name and purpose," says the guard.

I roll my eyes. I know for a fact that there are few who don't know me, not because my name, but because they've been watching us for years. Even if this guard has been reset, it's not the first time I've pulled up to the gates and spoken to him.

"Tobias Eaton. I'm here to see Matthew."

"Is there a last name?"

"Oh, just take my damn picture and send it to him for verification already." I have no time or patience with niceties.

The guard doesn't show any surprise with my attitude, instead he points a device in my face that flashes. A moment later, he signals to the guards and the gates open.

After parking my car, guards, with guns held at their chests, escort me into the building. We're about to walk inside when I hear my name. I recognize the voice instantly and turn to see Tris running towards me. It's so fast that I don't have time to look her over. She jumps into my arms and I catch her, her face tucking into the place where my neck and shoulder meet. I hold her tightly against me.

For a quick moment I see behind Tris. George and Amar walk closely together with Christina a few feet away, limping, as they make the rest of the way towards where Tris and I are embracing.

"I'm so glad I found you here," she says, pulling her face away so that she can see me. "We were just going to check in with Matthew. Amar was going to bring me to you." She kisses me and I kiss her back before I release the anger that's been bubbling up inside me since I saw the broadcast.

I place her down, my hands remaining on her shoulders. "Do you have any idea how worried I've been? When we talked about you going into the fringe to bring in supplies, you assured me that the danger would be minimal. I'm sure you can imagine all the thoughts going around in my head."

Tris lifts her chin, defiantly. "Like I should have known that there would be a bombing today?"

I'm practically shaking her as I yell, but she doesn't pull away. "When is it going to be enough? We agreed to keep away from danger. That's why I took a desk job."

"Oh please! You're more Johanna's body guard than assistant, and you know it. The Bureau takes the proper precautions—"

"Precautions? Look at you. You're not even armed. I don't see a vest or a helmet. Again you seem to have a serious lack or regard for your life." I'm yelling beyond what's probably acceptable, even in my state, but I don't care.

"We knew there'd be risks. We talked about the possibilities in both of our jobs."

I disregard what she's saying, my anger and frustration take control over the conversation. "Seriously Tris, it's one thing to combat petty thieves and the homeless. But bombs? This is too much! When are you going to see? When you're pregnant and suddenly it's not only your life in danger, but our child's, will it be enough then?"

Tris pulls away then. "Pregnant? Tobias, where is this coming from?"

My hands fall to my sides and I look away. Where is this coming from?

When I look back to Tris, her brows are furrowed and she's starring at me. I don't like the look on her face.

I sigh and run both of my hands through my hair. "Tris can we talk about this when we get back home?"

She crosses her arms over her chest. "No. We can talk about it right here, since you're the one who brought it up."

I know for a fact she's just as embarrassed as me but she's standing on principle.

I take in a deep breath and release it. I put out my hands, palms up, hoping she'll give me her's. She looks at my hands, my face, and then my hands again. Her brows are still furrowed. She doesn't give me her hands. I let mine drop to my sides. With my voice low I say, "I love you, Tris and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I never thought I'd find love and I didn't think I deserved it, sometimes I still don't. Being with you has changed everything. It's changed me, the way I think, the way I see things. You give me hope, hope that I can be a good man, maybe even a good father. I never thought I would have kids, I just didn't seem to be in the realm of possibility, but being with you has opened that door to me."

I see the features of her face soften as her eyebrows ease apart. "Tobias."

I shake my head. "I know that with everything that's happened, you have gained a regard for your life. I know you care about me and you would risk your life for mine but I want you to want us to have a future. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't know yet if you've gained a regard for our life together. I can't see that being possible if you don't figure it out for yourself." It pains me to say these things, even more because there's an audience. But Tris needs to hear them, if there is any hope for us to continue being together.

Looking at Tris, I see tears forming in her eyes. I turn away before my own tears leak out. My hands are in fists at my sides.