Kathryn Janeway fell into her bed with a moan. It had been a harrowing week to say the least.
The last week was filled with one disaster after another. It all started when they met the Akritirians.
They were a cruel people. Their government was harsh and oppressive. Not only did the crew have to deal with these strict authoritarians but they also had to endure the rebellion that was actively fighting the government.
Despite the deplorable state of the civilization's domineering bureaucracy, Kathryn Janeway could deal with that. She could, that is, until the rebellion caused two of her bridge officers to be incarcerated for an act of terrorism and sentenced to life in a deadly prison that was nearly impossible to find.
Fortunately, they managed to find the real terrorists and Chakotay, Tuvok, and Baxter, another security officer, were able to liberate Ensign Kim and Lieutenant Paris before they completely were under the control of an odious device that was known only as The Clamp. It was a bit tense with Tom Paris, who had been stabbed while in the prison, but in the end he was fine.
The exhausted captain flipped over onto her stomach and felt a strange sensation. Her abdomen was…hard. Well, not hard exactly, like the metal that made up much of the ship, but firm, like a tensed muscle.
'Actually,' Kathryn thought, 'my uniform pants have seemed a bit snug the last few days.'
Then, the petite woman realized what it was and it thrilled her. She felt pregnant. Of course, she knew it but up until now, she hadn't felt it. Despite having morning sickness and turning into an emotional rollercoaster, Kathryn never really felt like she was pregnant until she felt the subtle tightening in her abdomen.
She flipped over again and rested her small hands on her still flat stomach. Barely, just barely could the small container that held the most precious possession Kathryn Janeway could ever have be felt. It was comforting, in a way, to be able to feel where her baby was growing, thought the expecting mother. It made it more real, more tangible. Less like the abstract idea it had been up until now.
Kathryn was sure how long she lay there, trying with all her might to feel something more that the solidness in her lower abdomen, something more…baby-like, she supposed, when her door chimed.
Jolted out of her near meditative state, the captain jumped off her bed. She wasn't expecting anyone, so she had no idea who it was.
"Come in," Kathryn called. The door hissed open and revealed the surprise visitor.
"Hello, Kathryn," Chakotay greeted her with a smile.
"Chakotay!" It might have been a surprise but it was certainly a welcome one.
"Are you up for a little company tonight?" inquired the casually dressed Mayan man. "I thought we could stay here and relax. It's been a long week."
"Yes, it has," the physically and mentally tired woman agreed as she gestured for her recently declared love into the room.
As Kathryn turned and walked to her couch when she heard the telltale beeps of someone tapping a console.
"What're you-" she began as she twisted around to see what her first officer was doing.
What she saw took her breath away.
There, on her table, was the most romantic thing she had ever seen. Her previously bare table was now set with a beautifully delicate white lace tablecloth sprinkled with red rose petals. There were two red candles in silver candle stick holders flanking a small vase with a mixture of white and red flowers. There were wine glasses and a wine bucket filled with ice to chill the bottle of…something for them to drink. At each place was a silver dish covering up their meal.
"Oh, Chakotay!" the amazed woman gasped. "This is wonderful!"
"Why don't you go change into something more comfortable than your uniform," Chakotay suggested.
Kathryn acquiesced and disappeared into the bathroom to change. When she reappeared, she had shed her black and red uniform for a blue, knee-length dress and abandoned her heavy black boots for bare feet.
Chakotay rose from his seat on the couch and joined Kathryn by the table. As he pulled out a chair for her, he said, "You look lovely."
"Thank you," she blushed, looking down slightly. Chakotay internally frowned at Kathryn's discomfort with compliments but he decided that he was probably overreacting.
He took his seat across from the Indiana native and said, "Would you like some sparkling water? I thought about having sparkling pomegranate juice, but it doesn't really go with our meal."
"I would love some," Kathryn answered, holding out her wine glass.
When the drinks were poured, she asked, "So, what are we eating?"
"Lift the cover and find out," Chakotay replied with a flirty smirk.
She did and immediately smelled something absolutely mouthwatering. Inside of a clear glass bowl was a creamy, off-white broth with lots dark bits swimming around. It had a rich, earthy smell, just like mushrooms.
"This smells heavenly!" Kathryn exclaimed as she dipped her spoon into the thick soup. She brought the spoon to her lips and her eyes lit up when she tasted the hearty, meaty flavor of the mushrooms and the salty, smooth cream base.
"It tastes even better," she told her date with a smile. "You have to tell me what replicator recipe you used to make this."
"I didn't replicate it," Chakotay informed her in between two bites of the soup. "I made it with some mushrooms from the airponics bay. I got most of the other ingredients from Neelix, although I did have to replicate the cream. Mushroom soup is my favorite food; I don't dare trust the replicator to make it as good as I can."
"Maybe I need to reconsider your position on this ship, Chakotay," Kathryn commented with an amused glint in her eye. "You might have to replace Neelix in the Mess Hall."
Chakotay chuckled and smiled softly. Kathryn loved that smile. You could tell that it was genuine and true, not deceptively false like so many smiles could be. One of the things that the captain of Voyager loved most about her first officer was the way he wore his emotions close to the surface. She could always tell what he was feeling just from looking at his face. She could tell that he wasn't a man who was afraid to laugh or cry or scream in anger and pain.
"But when what would you do with Neelix?" Chakotay asked with that same, flirty little smirk. "Could you stand not having him occupied by cooking for the crew? He might take it on himself to become ships counselor or perhaps you own personal assistant. Do you think you could deal with that?"
"Goodness, no," Kathryn laughed. "I care for Neelix as much as any other crew member but I don't think I would be able to handle that much of him."
Chakotay laughed as well and the rest of the first course was spent talking about various crew members, memories of times on the ship, and a few memories were shared from the time before they had met.
When the second course arrived (thanks to some fancy transporter commands), Captain Kathryn Janeway was thrilled and again shocked at what a caring man she was with. Honestly, she could not be happier about how her life was going. Despite being stranded in the Delta Quadrant, she had found true love and was having the child she had always wanted but never thought she would have.
"My favorite!" Kathryn said with glee. "How did you know that Welsh Rabbit was my favorite?"
"I heard Neelix was asking around about what it was," Chakotay informed her. "He wanted to make it for you after he heard that it was your favorite from Quinn. I am afraid it isn't homemade, though. I had to replicate it since Neelix doesn't readily keep cheese after that incident and I had no clue how to make it. I would rather use the replicator that butcher your favorite food."
"Hey, I have no complaints about replicator use," the less than stellar chef replied. "Replicators are how I fed myself from the time I left home. I never quite got the hang of cooking. That fell more into my sister's realm of expertise. She's the artsy, creative one. I was the nerd."
"Really?" Chakotay asked sarcastically. "I never would have guessed it."
"Watch it," she teased back. "I may be in love with you and carrying your child but I am still your captain. That brig threat can still be acted upon."
In a rare moment of utter silliness, the Mayan stuck his tongue out at his dinner companion.
Kathryn laughed a full, hearty chuckle for a good while before she got down to devouring her most loved dish.
There wasn't as much talking during this course, just some more chatter about insignificant things, although more serious topics were on both minds. Things like where would the baby live? Would they live together? What was going to become of their relationship? What did they want to come of their relationship? How would this affect the crew? and How on earth was this going to work? were all things that flitted through both minds.
Fortunately, they had time to think about and discuss these things and both commanding officers were having much too good of a time to wish to hash that all out right then and there.
Dessert came, accompanied by that bottle of sparkling pomegranate juice Chakotay had mentioned earlier. Their dessert course was strawberry cheesecake and a drizzling of chocolate. Kathryn couldn't have been happier with the menu Chakotay picked out. She loved cheesecake and what woman doesn't like chocolate and strawberries?
Over dessert, things took a slightly more serious turn. The topic became family and Chakotay's was one filled with sorrow.
"The only person I have left is my sister, Sekaya," he informed his love. "I had two brothers and another sister but they all died in conflicts with the Cardassians. The only comfort I can take is that my parents did not have to suffer along with my sister and brothers and I thank the Spirits that Sekaya came to Earth with a man she met and later married."
"That's why you joined the Maquis." It wasn't a question. Kathryn knew, as soon as he said they had been killed that that was the reason. What else could cause a gentle, loving, and loyal soul like Chakotay to join a group of violent bandits?
"They raped my younger sister before they killed her," Chakotay said, his eyes beginning to shine and his voice taking on a strain and husky tone. "A survivor from the attack told me what happened. They raped her, this little, tiny, fifteen year old, over and over while my brothers were forced to watch before they smashed her head against a rock and threw her into a pile with all the other bodies."
Chakotay could no longer keep the tears from falling. His nearly finished dessert lay forgotten as tears tumbled down his dark cheeks and gut wrenching sobs escaped his lips. He had never really told anyone what had happened to his sister; beautiful, loving, innocent Emetalay.
When the tears began to fall, Kathryn, too, abandoned her dessert and went over to where her child's father sat. His head was in his hands and his body trembled with sorrow. She cautiously lay her hands on his and slowly began to remove them from his tortured face.
"Shhh," she murmured, sliding her arms into as good of an embrace as she could with him seated and her crouching next to him. "Shhh."
At first instinct, he stiffened. Despite being an open book, emotionally, Chakotay was a private person and he felt so very vulnerable right now. One of his darkest memories had just been revealed, something he wasn't sure he would ever tell anyone about. But then he realized that this was Kathryn, his beautiful, caring, understanding Kathryn. That though was all it took for the muscular man to collapse against his comforter.
He fell from his chair to his knees and allowed himself to be soothed by Kathryn's nonsensical words and warm, loving touches. She rubbed circles on his back with one hand and held his head against her shoulder with the other, allowing the hot, salty tears to soak into her dress.
They stay like this until Chakotay had all but exhausted himself. He was spent, emotionally and physically from finally letting out all the pent up and ignored feelings of hurt and anger and guilt and hate over his sister brutal and terrifying murder.
"I should go," he said hollowly. "I'm sorry for ruining our dinner. I meant for this to be a nice, relaxing, and romantic evening."
"You're not going anywhere," Kathryn insisted in a commanding and yet gentle voice. "You are in no place to be going off by yourself. All you will do is dwell on this. Stay here tonight."
"I don't think that is such a good idea," Chakotay feebly protested. "What would the crew think?"
"To hell with the crew for right now," Kathryn dismissed. "You are more important to me than the crew finding out about us before we out ourselves and if you really cared, you can transport to your own quarters tomorrow."
She finished her speech and effectively won the argument when she said, "I just want to help you stop hurting."