A/N: WARNING. As of this chapter, this is now an MA rated Fic for some very steamy scenes. Some of you wanted it to stay a T rating, but the muse would not let me. Seriously. Wouldn't let me. This was a hard chapter to write, and from here on out, shit get's real yo. More info down at the bottom.
Chapter Eleven: No Dawn, No Day
Lorcan was sitting in his living room, staring at the fire with a glass of scotch when a knock sounded on his door. He checked his watch (it was 10:36) and bit back an oath at the intrusion. He had been in a foul mood since Belle had left after dinner, and he had been hoping to be very drunk before he went to bed. He did not need to dream of Milah, or Bae tonight, and liquor was one of the only ways to avoid it. He stood begrudgingly, and limped to the front door.
"What do you want?" Lorcan bit before he had even seen who it was. When he did, he was slightly taken aback.
"Hello Rumple. We need to talk." Came the dulcet tones of Regina Mills, dressed in her most threatening business suit. She gave Lorcan a truly evil smile. Regina only smiled like that when she had something up her sleeve. He hated that smile. Lor scowled at her, his current alcohol level aiding his bad temper.
"I have nothing to say to you Madame Mayor." He practically snarled. She was the furthest thing from helpful in his current condition, and he did not feel like dealing with her. But Regina just smiled and leaned forward.
"Then just listen Gold. I won't take up much of your precious time." She said, shouldering her way into his entrance hall. Gold begrudgingly closed the door behind her. He followed her into the sitting room and sighed with mental exhaustion when she turned to him.
"What is it you want to say Regina. I'm in no mood to deal with your bullshit tonight." He said, his tone betraying his animosity and his thin patience. Regina merely smiled and poured herself a drink at his sideboard.
"I've come to make a deal with you." She said after taking a sip of his finest brandy.
"Oh? And what deal would that be dearie?" He replied, an undercurrent of disdain laced through his words.
"You'll want to make this deal Rumple. I want you to work for me. To do whatever I ask so long as I say 'Please'." Regina said, cruel confidence in her eyes. Lorcan burst out laughing, a deep mocking laugh that shook him to his very bones. Regina's eyes flashed dangerously as he doubled over with mirth, but her confidence was still strong.
"And what makes you think I would agree to such a ludicrous thing?" Lorcan asked, still chuckling and wiping tears of merriment from his eyes. Regina gave him her most triumphant smile and Lorcan could not help but feel a cold shiver of dread run down his spine.
"If you don't agree, I will rip the one thing you care about away from her family and her friends for a life of misery. If you don't agree to never see her again, and do ask I ask, I will make sure that Belle French is committed to the psychiatric ward of the Storybrooke Hospital, never to see the light of day again." Regina snapped, setting down her empty glass with a dull thud. Lorcan's features were a mask of indifference, but inside he had never felt so terrified in his life. He told himself she was just bluffing, and that she couldn't commit Belle against her will. But he had to ask.
"What makes you think you can do that? Belle is one of the sanest people I've ever met. No doctor in a million years would diagnose her with anything."
"Do you really think I would come in here and play games with you Gold? I've got enough evidence of mental instability on both sides of her family to commit her for months. On top of that, she has had years of therapy due to the death of her mother, and the controlling nature of her father. Not to mention her crazy little crush on you for all these years. Even if I didn't have Hopper in my back pocket, I could still send her away for a long time." Regina ended her tirade with a flourish and a cruel smile.
Lorcan knew that she had him. He had never felt such fear in his entire life. Regina was right. She could destroy Belle. She would commit her to the institution, and then mentally break her. She would make sure that Belle would never live a normal life again. Lorcan could not, and would not let that happen. On the other hand, that would mean never associating with Belle again. He would never make her laugh, feel her touch, kiss her, walk with her, talk with her. He would never see her grow with his child. Never dance with her on their wedding. He would never grow old with her. It was unbearable to him to think of his life without her. He loved her, needed her like air. He knew he could never survive without her. But maybe, she could survive without him.
"What do you want me to do." Lorcan spat with all the rage in his soul. He had never been more furrious in his entire life, never. Regina was a sadistic bitch, and he would make sure that he got his revenge for what she was doing to him. Him and Belle.
"I want you to break her. I want you to make her think that all of this..." She waved her hands, refering to Lorcan and Belle's relationship "...nonsense was just an act. That you used her, and that you never really loved her. I want you to break her heart. And after you do, I want you to never associate with her again." She leaned in close to him, her twisted cruel black heart delighting in his anger. "Please." She hissed, and with that she stalked out of his house, her evil laughter echoing faintly in Lorcan's mind.
Lor had never cried so hard in his entire life. Not even when Bae had died. Hell, not even when Bae had been born. His eyes were swollen and puffy as he stared down at his empty glass of scotch. The house was dark. He'd turned off all the lights and sat in the darkness, his soul cracking as he thought about what he had to do. Half of him wanted to tell Belle about how Regina was blackmailing him, and pretend that he had broken her heart while they figured out what to do. But Lor knew that Belle was no actress. She wore her heart on her sleeve, and she was terrible at hiding her emotions. The only reason he'd never known she was in love with him for so long was because he wasn't looking for it. He had seen only kindness in Belle's eyes. Only embarrassment, or her lighthearted nature. He'd never seen what had been right in front of him all along. Well, except for once, many years ago.
It had been a particularly bad day for Lorcan. One of his better deals had fallen through (not to mention that it had rained, and his leg was giving him a hell of a time), and he had been snapping at anyone who even looked at him funny like a wild animal. He had just locked up his shop, and had begun to walk home when he heard a noise from the side alley. He peeked around the corner, slightly surprised at the sight before him. Belle French, one of his tenant's daughters was walking back and forth, mumbling to her self. He had always liked the French girl. She smiled at him when no one else would. He had tried to be hardhearted about it, deluding himself into thinking she only did it because she wanted something. But she never asked for anything, not even an extension on the rent for her father.
Belle must have been about Eighteen at that point. If Lorcan recalled correctly, she left for college not two days after. At the time, he had no idea how she felt, until he started hearing what she was mumbling.
"Okay Belle. You can do this. It's not a big deal. You're just going to go in there and tell him. You don't expect anything. You just want him to know." She said, pacing up and down as she twirled a stray curl of her chestnut hair. Lor had always liked Belle's hair. It suited her features and in the sunlight shone like a rare sunset. Lorcan had debated about whether or not to interrupt her. She obviously had something to say to him, and at the time, he had thought her father had sent her to tell him some bad news.
"What is it you want to tell me dearie?" He had asked, stepping out of the shadows. She had nearly jumped two feet in the air, a yelp ripping from her throat as she clutched at her heart.
"M-Mr. Gold! You...you scared me!" She cried, still recovering from her fright. Lorcan had chucked at that, thinking 'About bloody time I scared you'. He could not help but feel a twinge of sympathy thought, and he walked over to her, taking her elbow to steady her.
"It's alright. I'm sorry I frightened you." He said, looking her directly in the eyes. He'd never noticed before, but her eyes were the most wonderful shade of blue. Like the lochs of his childhood reflecting the colors of the sky after a storm. He had tugged at his collar a little, feeling a little strange at the direction of his thoughts. He cleared his throat before continuing. "What are you doing out here so late? You should be at home." Belle had blushed furiously, looking down her toes.
"Well I... I'm leaving for College soon... and ah...there is something..." She huffed a little then, stumbling over her words like a girl trying to ask for her first kiss. "...something I wanted to t-tell you." She said, looking him in the eyes hopefully. She bit her lip, her nervous energy rolling off of her in waves and for just a second, Lorcan felt his eyes drawn to her lip caught delicately in her teeth. He immediately dropped his gaze to his cane, hoping she couldn't see him blushing in the dark. He coughed, trying to clear his throat, for he was sure if he had spoken it would have sounded a little raw.
"A-and what would that be, Miss French?" He asked, looking everywhere but at her until he said her name. Their eyes had caught and for a moment, Lorcan was sure he saw something there. A mixture of hope, timidity, and strangest of all longing.
"Just that...I'm going to miss you Mr. Gold. And I want you to have something to remember me by." She said, suddenly turning into the brave and confident young woman he knew she was. He was stunned into silence as she quickly closed the distance between them, and rose up on her toes to give him a kiss on his cheek. The corner of her mouth had brushed his. He gave a small gasp when her kiss lasted a little longer than a peck, the skin to skin contact rare. His heart had beat so fast, he was sure he was having a heart attack, but before he could move she had run down the alley and out of sight.
He had treasured that moment for years, carrying it with him through his worst days and his bleakest nights. Lorcan was the most hated man in Storybrooke, so needless to say, physical touch with another human being was rare. Most people didn't even want to shake hands with him. But he thought about it, and realized that Belle French was the only person in memory who wasn't afraid to touch him. So he carried that kiss like a torch in the night, wondering about the girl who had been willing to kiss a beast.
So as Lorcan's tears dripped down into the glass in his hands, mixing with the little liquor left, he knew he couldn't tell Belle. Belle, who was so kind and thoughtful. Belle, who gave him shy little smiles. Belle, who had fallen in love with a man who was so unworthy of her. She could never hide her love for him now. Never pretend that she hated him. It would be so against her nature, that Lorcan knew they would be doomed if he did. So he cried harder at the thought of what he knew he must do. He had to break her heart, so he could save her soul. And he knew it would shatter him to do it.
Lorcan didn't hear the knock on the door. He didn't hear it swing open. He didn't hear Belle call his name, and he didn't hear her move into the room. So lost was he, that Belle had to touch his shoulder to get him to acknowledge her. He jumped of course, wiping his face and eyes on his sleeve as he backed away from her a little on the couch.
"B-Belle! Wh-what are you doing here?" He asked, afraid that his thoughts were written to plainly on his face. Belle was dressed in a sweater and pajama pants, her eyes concerned and loving.
"I came to see you. I couldn't sleep. You're crying Lor. Is everything alright?" She asked, sitting down next to him on the couch and reaching out to touch his face. As her fingers skimmed over his cheek, Lor's soul cried out in pain. He schooled his features though, knowing that he had to make it seem like nothing was wrong. It was everything he could do not to burst out sobbing and tell her the truth. He could not bring himself to go the full mile and make it seem like he hated her. He was too in love with her, too unprepared, and too cowardly to do it. Instead, he gave her a sad smile and turned back to his glass.
"It's alright. I'm just... I'm just thinking about today. About Milah and... and Bae." He said, hating the lies he had to give her. He wanted to tell her the truth so badly that it was torture not to. He hated himself for it, and tried to gain some composure. "What are you doing here Belle? It's late, you should be at home." He said, realizing with a jolt how much his words sounded like they did so long ago.
" You need me Lorcan. And I need you." She said, forcing him to look at her by turning his head with her hands. His eyes met hers and he drowned in the look she gave him. So full of love, tenderness, empathy, and understanding. His entire being cried out to her with such pain and love that he could not hold back the tears and little sob that came from him.
He kissed her then, kissed her with all the love in his soul. For all of the memories that they would never make. For all the children they could have had, and all the laughter they should have shared. This was a kiss of devotion, for he knew he would love her forever, and there would never be another. And she kissed him back, tears falling from her eyes as she felt the raw emotion in that kiss. Lorcan's arms crushed her to him as he devoured her like a man possessed. He could feel the long dormant desire for her come surging to surface. He wanted her. He wanted her so bad he was shaking. And by God, he would have her. If only for one night, to keep him going for the long days to come. In this moment, there would be no tomorrow. No hearts to break, no tears to be shed. Only love, and the passion that they felt for one another.
Lor plundered Belle's mouth, his tongue running along her the inside of her upper lip, moaning at the taste of her. She tasted like woman and spring rain. Belle began tugging on his tie, and Lorcan happily tore the offending garment off. Belle broke away from the kiss, Lorcan giving a little whimper of protest as she tore off her sweater and tank top. Lorcan's eyes fixed on her skin, her chest bare for him to see. His eyes grew dark and heavy lidded with desire as he stared at her shamelessly. She was perfect, all porcelain skin and gentle swells of flesh. Her nipples were a divine coral pink and Lorcan shook as he took one of her breasts into his palm and squeezed gently. Belle let out a little mewl of desire and Lorcan was lost. He swept Belle up into his arms, ignoring his screaming leg as he carried her to his room on the main floor. He didn't even bother with opening the door, instead kicking it open with his bag leg. The door frame shattered at the lock and Belle gave a squeal of surprise at his ferocity. He lay her down on the bed and tore his shirt off, buttons clattering to the floor as he threw it across the room. Belle could not help but be caught in the fierceness of his gaze. His eyes were wild as his chest rose and fell from his labored breathing. He looked at her like he wanted to devour her, to claim her in the most primitive ways imaginable. His hair was disheveled and fell around his face in the sexiest way Belle had ever seen it. The way he looked, like a god ready to take the sacrifice laid before him, Belle could not help but become hopelessly aroused.
"Lorcan..." She whispered, her eyes heavy with passion. Lor was on top of her in a flash, but unlike earlier when he had been so desperate and wild, he was achingly gentle. He kissed her with a depth of feeling that nearly brought tears to her eyes. His lips moved over hers with a delicious friction that made her moan with pleasure. His chest was pressed up against hers, only the soft cotton of his undershirt between them. She could feel the heat of his body through it, and wanted nothing more than to feel the silk of his skin instead of the flimsy cotton. She grabbed the fabric on his back, and pulled as he moved his lips to her neck, kissing and nipping his way down. Lorcan leaned back onto his knees to let Belle pull his undershirt off, which she did so with a passion. She gazed at his naked chest and he flushed faintly. He was a slim man, but not without his own appeal. He had lean muscles and strong arms. Arms that Belle knew would hold her forever.
"Belle." Lorcan moaned, her direct unwavering gaze causing his already swollen length to twitch slightly beneath the layers of fabric that separated them. He quickly moved to cover her with his body, his hands roaming over her as his mouth took hers. Her arms wound around his neck, one hand sinking into his hair, the other feeling the skin of his back. Lor's hand found her breast and squeezed, causing Belle to give a moan of satisfaction. He grinned as he kissed his way back down her neck, biting lightly at the pulse point below her ear and sucking. Her back arched as he continued to tease her breast and her neck. She raked her nails down his back and he moaned, bucking lightly against her hip. She gave a little gasp when he did, finally feeling his erection through her pajamas and his pants. She wanted to move her hands to undo his belt, but Lor distracted her by kissing his way down her collarbone and her chest. He payed particular attention to the spot directly between her breasts, licking and sucking at the spot.
"Lor please..." She begged, wanting to feel his mouth on her properly. He gave her a purely masculine grin, one that spoke of dark sensual promise.
"Please what Belle? You have to be specific." He growled, unable to help the primitive satisfaction of seeing her undone at his hands.
"Please Lor...please." She moaned, feeling unable to tell him exactly what she wanted. She had never made love like this, and her embarrassment was obvious.
"Tell me what you want Belle." His husky brogue deep and thicker as he licked the underside of her breast, causing Belle to shudder and gasp from pleasure.
"Take me into your mouth." Belle practically begged, managing to find the right words. She could feel his grin against her skin as he squeezed her right breast. His lips closed over her already taught nipple, electing a full and throaty moan from Belle. Lor could feel an electric current surge through his body and pool in his groin at her passionate vocals. He flicked his tongue against the bud in his mouth, sucking with unabashed pleasure. Belle's hands threaded into his hair, her eyes fluttering shut with the sensation of his mouth on her. After paying attention to the right breast, he moved on to the left, causing Belle to buck against him. He gave that one the same treatment, his hips involuntarily grinding against hers. With a primitive thrill that threatened to undo him, she matched his rhythm, their bodies rubbing against each other.
"Belle." Lorcan groaned, pulling away from her to rest his head on her shoulder, feeling her skin with his chest, his hips continuing to move against hers. It was a heavenly torture to move with Belle like this, inflaming his desire while denying him the connection he truly sought. With a finesse that he had thought beyond him, Lor pulled Belle's pajama bottoms off of her to leave her completely and perfectly naked before him. The moonlight streamed through the windows to fall upon her bare form, caressing her like Lor ached to do. And so he did, running his hands up her calves, ghosting over her knees and stroking her thighs until he was sure that her moans of pleasure would fill up his soul. He then leaned over her, bracing his arm by her neck and looking her in the eyes as he began to lightly touch the nest of curls between her legs. Her eyes closed and her back arched as her hands tangled in the blankets beneath them.
"Oh god Lor!" She cried as his slender fingers parted her folds to run along the seam of tender flesh at her entrance. He gave her a primitive growl as he found the small bud just above where his fingers had been and lightly touched her there. She gave a little spasm of delight when he did, clawing at his back.
"I'm going to take you Belle. I'm going to ride you long and hard, until you are screaming my name. I'm going to push into you..." He whispered into her ear, making his point by sliding his finger into her. "...and claim you in every way. But first, I'm going to make sure you are ready." He said, penetrating her with two of his fingers for emphasis. She cried out a little when he did, her legs twitching involuntarily. He moved his fingers slowly at first, retracting them and then plunging back in and curling the tips to hit a perfect spot inside of her that drove her wild.
"Oh god Lorcan don't stop. Don't...oh god." She cried as he moved faster and faster, his thumb rubbing against her clitoris with each stroke. She could feel the pressure building, a tightness growing in her womb and spreading out as far as the tips of her toes.
"Come for me Belle. I want you to shatter in my arms." He cooed, his lips and teeth going to work on her neck as his hand moved within her. Her hips jerked against his hand, growing frantic with need. "I love you Belle, now come for me."
That was it. His declaration of love was enough to send her over the precipice. Belle cried out, Lorcan's name on her lips as she finally shattered. Her body shuddered with pleasure, back arching and toes curling as Lorcan rubbed his thumb against her harder, his fingers never stopping their work. He forced her climax to last as long as possible, giving her two fierce waves of ecstasy before letting her relax back against the blankets. He stood quickly, unbuckling his belt and shedding himself of his pants and boxers in one smooth sweep. Though Belle was still coming down from her climax, she could not help the electric trill at the sight of his bare and erect form. He was like a pagan god, raw and purely male sensuality rolling off of him in waves. He moved to kneel between her parted legs before covering her body with his. Belle gasped at the sensation of every inch of their skin touching. He was so warm, so blissfully hot that Belle wanted him to burn her forever.
"Oh god Belle. I want you so badly... I love you Belle. Remember that. Remember I love you." He whispered into her ear as he rolled his hips so that his lean length rubbed against her wet thatch of curls. Belle moaned when he did, her legs instinctively positioning herself to receive him. Their breathing was harsh and labored as Lorcan pulled back so that he could meet her eyes. For a moment, time stopped and all either could feel was a burning love that echoed in their souls. Belle felt tears of joy begin to prickle behind her eyes. Her love was so strong, and so true, that she could not help as the beads of liquid tracked their way across her face.
"Oh Lor. I love you too. So much." She said, pulling him down for a soul searing kiss. Belle stroked his back as he positioned himself to take her, not even bothering to care if she was on birth control or anything else. He refused to be sorry for their lovemaking, for any reason, especially a child. He pressed the tip of his shaft into her entrance, evoking a passionate moan from Belle. When he slid a little farther, it was his turn to moan. He was shaking from the effort it took to go slowly, wanting her to adjust to him so that she wouldn't hurt. She, however, had other ideas, and used her legs to force him farther into her.
"Belle!" Lor cried, unable to stop himself from thrusting into her roughly after her encouragement. She cried out as well, raking her nails down his back. He was so close to spilling his seed into her already, that he leaned on his bad leg, hoping the pain would be enough to keep him going until he could make Belle climax again. He began to move within her, sliding out of her a little before thrusting back inside her. Every time he did, she vocalized her approval, first with small mewls, then with louder moans as he pulled farther out. He took one of her nipples into his mouth and sucked hard, his own moans and cries of pleasure growing.
"Lor...oh god...harder..." She begged, her legs rising higher to wrap around his waist, giving him a whole new angle to take her with. His hips rolled as he began to move faster, pulling out farther and plunging in deeper. Her hips rose to meet him every time, and Lor was nearly torn apart by the feeling. He leaned on his elbows above her so that he could hold her head in his hands, his fingers running through her chestnut tresses. Lor whispered sweet words into her ear as he staked his claim, telling her how much he loved her, how wonderful she felt, and how long he had wanted her.
"I have wanted you like this for so long." He told her, kissing her neck as he thrust back into her, her throaty moan causing him to move faster. "I've dreamed... about you. I never thought...I could ever... have you this way." He said, his words spoken between desperate pants of breath. Her hands moved all over him as he bucked faster into her.
"Oh Lor...I wanted you too. Only you. Always you." She moaned as she held on to him, the wonderful tension within her growing with each roll of his hips. He slipped an arm under one of her legs, bringing it up so that her knee was hooked around his bicep, giving him deeper access to her inner folds, and allowing him to hit that perfect little spot inside of her. They moved faster then, Lorcan growling as he impaled her on his cock with rough abandon. Belle cried out when he did, the new sensation so pleasurable that it bordered on pain. Her climax was rising up in in her, and Lor could feel it. He slammed into her, harder and faster every time. His own orgasm was within sight, but he refused release until Belle had hers, so he moved a hand between them and rubbed his finger against the bud just above where they were joined. It took almost no time before Belle was screaming his name, her inner walls clenching and releasing him so quickly that his roar of her name came almost at the same time as her cry. He forced himself to continue to trust into her, milking himself of every last drop and prolonging her ecstasy until he collapsed on top of her, sated and almost completely satisfied.
They lay there for a while, their hearts beating as one, breathing in unison. Belle could feel Lorcan still inside her, the sensation of their union to perfect to let go. Lor nuzzled into her neck as Belle wrapped her arms tighter around him, clasping him to her so that he could not move.
"I love you Lor. I love you so much." Belle said, closing her eyes to memorize the feeling of his skin on hers. Lor choked up with emotion, tears falling into her hair
"And I love you my dearest, my only, my Belle."
Later that night, after they had made love two more times (they had a lot of time to make up for), Lorcan allowed himself to weep properly. Belle was asleep, her backside cuddled up against his front as the tears rolled down his cheeks. He should have been happy, but all he could think about was the horrible things he was going to have to do to her. His heart broke at the thought of never being able to be with her like this again, going back to never touching another human being. Belle had been his light in a sea of darkness. And soon, he was going to have to cast a shadow over her heart, tainting her love until it died. He knew that when the time came, he could not live with himself. He would gladly take the punishment for this sin, and torture himself for the rest of his days to atone.
For the rest of the night, he whispered vows of devotion, apologies, and words of love to her sleeping form, praying that some part of her would hear him. He wanted her to know that he loved her, so that deep down, some part of her heart would remain in tact, and live to love again.
A/N: Yeah, you can see where I'm going with this now. This was HIGHLY emotional for me to write, like literally I was crying when I wrote this. I had to write that final scene though, because I felt that it fit the story. If you want to ignore it, go ahead and skip it. I won't hold it against you. Anyway, this chapter's title comes from the song "Cosmic Love" by Florence and the Machine. Please tell me what you think about this chapter, this is my first time writing a sex scene.