Fabulous readers,

Okay, everybody thank Sherryfanfic1999 for tossing around some ideas with me. I was able to think a little outside of the box as to where I was headed with this. It's not a drastic change in what I was going for, but it allows the fluidity between Ed and Roy seem a little more realistic.

All together now, thank you Sherryfanfic!

Edward was clutching onto Roy for dear life. He was afraid that the other might drop him accidentally, but it seemed that Mustang had truly sobered up for he did not stumble nor did he miss a step as he carried Edward.

Admittedly, the small blonde was a flattered that Roy was treating him so gently. He tightened his hold around Roy's neck, hooking his fingers together and pressing his chest against Roy's. He leaned his head against the older man's shoulder and pushed his nose against the skin of his neck, knowing not what else to do. If he was going to be carried, then he should make the best of it and take the opportunity to rest.

It felt nice to be cradled like that. All pressure was relieved from his bones, and for a brief moment he didn't feel so achy anymore.

"You must be hurting really bad," Roy said. He shifted Edward's weight as he neared his door.

From the position that he was resting in, Edward could hear the jingle of keys and the click of a lock. He sighed. "Yes. Everything about me hurts most days."

"Is it because of your having been in a coma?"

"Dunno," Edward mumbled. "Probably. The rain doesn't help any either; it makes my automail achy." He hissed as Roy stepped into his apartment and walked to lay him down onto the nearest sofa. "T-thanks," Edward said as he began to untie his coat from his waist and pull its sleeves down his arms. He paused and glanced upwards to Roy who, like, himself was working on getting his own coat off.

When Roy held out his hand for Edward's coat, the smaller of the two muttered his thanks. He wrapped his slender arms around himself and began to rub his hands up and down on his biceps.

"Cold?"

"Lil' bit," Edward admitted as he stood and began to remove his military coat so that he could drape it on the back of the sofa to dry out.

Again he glanced at Roy, casting a inquisitive look his direction as Roy grabbed for his military jacket and folded it over his arm so that he might hang it up elsewhere to dry better.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Edward said, ultimately deciding that he would be the first to take action. "About us kissing downstairs?" He wasn't the person to let Roy ponder or pretend that he didn't know what he had been talking about, so he continued. "I didn't know you were into guys, or is there a different reason why you're gravitating towards me? Drunken loneliness? I'm beautiful so you say, but you know my gender; you know what's between my legs," he stated flatly as he stared Roy down.

There was something in the back of Edward's head that was nagging him, something that was making him feel entirely uneasy about the whole exchange. Simply it was neither the time nor the place, not in light of recent events both known and unknown to Roy.

He watched as Roy's eyebrows raised with an expression of mild amusement from Edward's words. "Interesting way to put it. I'll," he cut himself off as he gestured in the direction he was going to walk in. "I'll be be right back; just let me go hang these up and I'll get us a change in clothes."

Edward snorted in reply as he folded his right foot under his leg and sat back down, still wet and cold. He hadn't been lying entirely about the source of his pain. His automail was killing him. It seemed like the older he got, the worse the pain grew whenever the weather turned sour. Gingerly he pushed his hand against the bit of his leg where flesh met metal and rubbed as he looked around. He had never been in Roy's apartment before; somehow he thought it would be less classy than it was.

It was a white room with moldings all around the ceiling. The bit that he was sitting in was spacious and lofty with its high ceiling and wooden floor. Roy's sense of style did not reflect in the apartment at all; but then again Edward supposed he knew nothing about Roy's sense of style. He had always thought that the man would be tacky-like he was one to judge; it wasn't true now that he was looking at his finer things.

From the coffee table, to the reading chairs, to the few ornaments that decorated the mantel at the hearth, it was obvious that Roy was a modern, minimalistic man. In short, the man had nice tastes.

Edward folded his lips upward in an unflattering sort of way at the thought of Roy being so sophisticated and cool. He pictured the other sitting near the fire in one of his reading chairs, probably wearing a silk robe and house slippers with a pipe hanging from his lips.

Ever the one with no grace, Edward snorted out a laugh and covered his mouth, humoring himself with his mental image. It was the first time in a long time that he had felt laughter swell in his belly. He had laughed quite a bit with Roy that evening; it was nice.

He glanced upwards as Roy re-entered the room, this time wearing a casual set of clothes, carrying with him a spare pair for Edward.

"These are for you; you can change in the bathroom. It's down the hall and to the left," Mustang said as he pointed behind him. "Can you walk there?"

"I think so," Edward said as he climbed off of the couch again and scuttle forward, outstretching his hands for the articles of clothing.

What Edward really needed was to dip low in that pose that he had slept in last night. It was just about the only thing that made him feel better when his pelvic bone started to throb. Or some other position to help him spread his hips, at least. Sitting and walking all day did his body no favors.

He stared up at Roy and observed the man's facial features and expression. Through the sadness, through the tiresome hurt, Edward could tell that there was a desperate need to be held and loved hidden on his face. Why was he the one that Roy was seeking comfort and intimacy from? Wasn't he in love with Riza?

"I'm surprised, even, that you want me to get redressed. It seems like you have the intention of just undressing me again. I'm a man; I know that look when I see it," he said, wanting to probe Roy for answers or clues as to why he was behaving the that he was.

How he was going about this, though, was entirely all wrong and a bit fucked up. But the scent of Roy when they kissed, the looks of him now… It all had Edward spinning around with a confused sense of desire. He reached up for his shirt and began to undo it in front of the man, no shame, no hesitation, just one button at a time, slowly working his way down.

This was wrong and they both knew it. At least Edward thought that they both knew it was wrong. As though it had been at long last for the man, Roy grabbed for Edward, not in a sexual way, not yet anyway, but rather he hugged him; no, embraced him with all of his strength, so much so that it was almost painful.

Let's be honest, men don't know how to relieve pent up emotion. Sadness, anger, regret, it melted all together as their lips met for the second time that evening. From where Edward stood in the man's arms, he could feel the heat of Mustang's tears dribble down his cheeks and mix with the saliva in their mouths as their lips parted as their kiss turned from something tender to something carnal.

How could someone be so horny and upset at the same time? It didn't make any sense! Again, Edward's groin region felt as though it were on fire. It was so different than he had known from before whenever he had encountered erotic situations.

Quietly, Edward let loose a moan into their kiss as he reached out and draped his arms around the taller man's shoulders. He had to stand on his tiptoes and lean against Roy's chest to be able to match his height and kiss him back.

It felt right to be with someone who was taller than he, someone who was able to wrap his arms tight around his body. Edward couldn't deny that he felt a sense of security for a brief moment before he broke their kiss. He relished the feel of it and soaked it all in while he still could.

He whimpered, much to his embarrassment as he felt the heat of the man's hands fall down the sides of his body, traveling along the ridges of his abdomen with light, airy touches. Edward felt their bodies begin to move backwards; Roy was pushing him towards the couch. "Mphf," he said against Roy's lips as they kissed once more.

Now Edward was no master in the art in love making, but he knew enough. He sidestepped from Roy and quickly pushed on the older man so that he fell onto the couch and landed with a soft oof.

Was he really doing this? Where was his head? Edward loomed over Roy for only a brief moment before he slipped into his lap and straddled him, exhaling a sigh of relief, glad to have the excuse to spread his legs and stretch out his aching hips.

To mask the reason why he looked so relieved, he ground his groin downwards and rolled his body against Mustang's, giving him a good reason, then, to moan out in pleasure. Not because he was sexually pleasured, but because he found some relief.

Edward stretched out his torso and elongated himself. He let his arms fall behind his body and used Roy's knees to support himself as he arced his back and dropped his head, exposing the belly of his throat in a very vulnerable position.

"Edward?"

He hadn't been expecting for Roy to speak. He popped his upwards and looked at the older man inquisitively while Roy had his hands on Edward's lower belly. Edward froze.

"Are you ill? Malnourished or something? It looks like your belly is distended," he commented as he rolled his thumb over the small bump beneath Edward's stomach.

"I-I should," he stopped himself. He didn't think it was that noticeable. Damn Roy Mustang for being so observational. He had been lying all night, surely he could make up another lie. "You're imagining things," he said as he brushed Roy's hand away.

"Am I? Edward you seem really ill. Not being able to walk, vomiting, this distention in your abdomen. Do you want me to take you to a doctor?"

"No!" Edward snapped as he crawled off of Roy's lap out of shame and guilt. "The doctor said that there would be anomalies after being in a coma for such a long time. It's only been a few weeks since I've woken up."

"Edward I think you need a doctor though."

"Oh geeze. Please don't pretend like you care about me right now."

"But I do, Ed."

"Oh do you?!" This time Edward was truly getting angry, seething quietly from where he was standing just beside the couch. "You kiss me, invited me up here, act all nice to me, all after I return from the war. After you just so happen to lose your lover.

"My what?"

Edward shut his mouth, not daring to go further.

"What are you talking about?"

He took in a deep breath. "We haven't talked about Riza at all tonight and I thought: hey, maybe the guy needs some space. He lost a lover. I lost a comrade and mentor; we'll talk about her eventually, right? How I missed her funeral, how I was the one that was there when she died?

"I was laying next to her dead body for hours before they found us. And now I'm sitting on top of the lap of the man she loved, getting ready to fuck him! Talk about an insult to her memory.

"I'm rambling," Edward continued as he halted himself and his frustrations. "Simply, don't pretend to care about me when I know that's not true. Not in romantic way at least. What we're doing is wrong and I'm an idiot for getting caught up in it."

"Edward be rational," Roy was saying as the smaller alchemist was beginning to pick up his discarded shirt off of the floor. "Listen to yourself. You're hurt; you're right. I'm hurt as well, and sex probably isn't the best medicine; I'll agree. There are parts of this story that you've got wrong, though."

"Like what?" Edward snapped impatiently.

"Like how you've got it in your head that Riza and I were star crossed lovers? When have I ever given you that impression?"

"But she always used to be-

"Yes, she, not me, Ed. She was in love with me and it kills me that I let her die with that unreciprocated love in her heart," he said as he choked back a frustrated gasp of air. He looked down from Edward and instead focused on his clenched fists at his knees. "But I can't be responsible for her sorrow. I didn't love her; being with her would have been worse because I would have had to pretend."

Edward's world began to spin. He teetered for a moment before he flopped down onto the couch next to Roy. Out of basic reaction, he reached out and patted Roy on the back while he stared blankly ahead, his head swimming in a mixture of emotions.

"So you never had," he cut himself off at the thought.

"Why are you so concerned about my sex life, Ed? No I never had sexual relations with Riza. I can't regret it. There's someone else that I've been in love with."

"I care about whether or not you had sex with her because-" Edward was totally blank in that moment. His face was pale, his lips were trembling, his eyes were fixed on undesignated spot somewhere in the distance. He was in a realm of the lost, and still he was able to speak. "Because she told me she was pregnant before she passed and asked me to do what I could to help."

He took in a shaky breath as he continued. "I just put two and two together. I remember asking her if it was yours and her nodding. Why did she lie to me, Roy?" This time he was able to tear his eyes away from the spot in the nothingness and instead turned to look at Roy with tears filling his great golden eyes.

"Edward," Roy asked slowly. It was obvious that he was putting pieces together. There was no hiding it. "Edward what did you do?"

"I saved the baby, Roy," the blonde said as he looked away from the man again. "It was all I could do. She was dying and there was no stopping that. I at least saved one life that night."

"There is no pregnant nurse that's walking around with your baby in her is there?"

"No," Edward said flatly. "Funny, and I actually felt guilty for lying to you, but the great fucking joke is on me. It's not even yours. I am literally pregnant with a baby whose father I don't even know." He wanted to yell, but he thought it best to keep his voice down, so instead he let the tears dribble from his long lashes and stain his cheeks.

"Oh God," he began to cry somberly as he dropped his face to his hands so that he could muffle his sobs into his palms.