Sorry I'm a little late. I'm trying to update on Thursdays and Sundays, but yesterday I was so busy writing the end of episode 7 that I forgot to upload this.
Here's just a quick story - A Latvian girl in my art class said she found it interesting how Irish boys think it's disgusting when people shave their armpits, and Latvian boys think it's disgusting when they don't. Anyway, it inspired one of the scenes in this chapter
Also, I will be in Cork all next week, so there won't be another episode until Saturday week.
Well, here it is. What else is there to say for now?
"Last time on Euro-Drama Farmyard…" Lara began the recap.
"…the 34 remaining contestants cosplayed each other in a walk around the woods. Some such as Symon and Tyge were naturals, others such as Agnessa and Marios were not so good, and some such as Anka and Vincenz were so bad that they were great.
Each contestant was given a mark out of five by our two staff members, Noah and Dawn, and the Mantises came out on top, while the Shady Sharks went to the elimination ceremony for a second time in a row.
There was some fierce strategy, but in the end, it was Zeferino, the charming, but also a little wimpy, guitarist from Portugal, who was eliminated.
Only 33 are left. Can the Sharks actually pull off a win?
Find out right now on Euro…Drama…Farmyard!"
Lou and Emilia sat on the grass, both looking up at the sky.
"Oh, I love sunsets!" Emilia squealed excitedly. "That mix of colours. It's like…it's a…"
"It's like someone took a huge paintbrush, a huge blob of red, yellow and blue, and painted the whole way across the sky! It's like nothing I could ever do. Something like that could only be done by a God," Lou said, looking at Emilia. "Though, if you don't believe in that, it's okay."
"No, I believe," Emilia told him. "But I have some friends who are Atheist."
"I know, I've met them," Lou sighed.
"Oh yes, you have," Emilia remembered. "But I'm not an Atheist. Both my parents are Protestant."
"My dad is Protestant, and my mom is Orthodox, so I've been raised with both," Lou stated. "The best thing about it is that every two years, I have Easter twice."
"Lucky," Emilia sighed. "Well, even though I believe in God, I also believe in evolution and the big bang, and I think gay marriage should be allowed."
"I don't believe in evolution. It is just a theory, so it's just as likely," Lou stated.
"Maybe…" Emilia sighed.
[Confessional: THAT'S NOT WHAT A SCIENTIFIC THEORY MEANS, YOU DUMBASS!
Lou (Cyprus): Such a rare moment of peace. Away from Pavils and Aleksander and everyone else I don't like.
Just me and Emilia on the beach, under a beautiful sunset. Such a beauty – it's truly God's biggest masterpiece.]
"Ah, what a lovely evening," Finn commented as he and Pavils walked outside the cabin.
"Hey, look, there's Sveda!" Pavils exclaimed, pointing at the Azeri, who was sitting on the grass, and trying to blow a daisy.
"Yeah, I see that," Finn stated.
"Go talk to her!" Pavils exclaimed, pushing him over.
"Wait! I…oh, hi Sveda," Finn when he realized the girl had noticed him.
"Oh, hi Finn…that is your name, right?" Sveda greeted.
"Yeh," Finn nodded, sitting down beside her.
"Yay!" Sveda cheered. "'Cuz I always suck with names. That guy next to you was called Lulu, right?"
"No, that's Pavils," Finn told her. "Lou is the guy with blonde hair who likes painting."
"Oh…darn it," Sveda sighed, shaking her head. "I can never seem to get it right."
"Don't worry about it," Finn chuckled. "So, what are you up to this evening?"
"I'm trying to blow these flowers, but it won't work," Sveda sighed.
"Well, that's because it's a daisy, and it only works on dandelions," Finn replied gently. "And dandelions don't seem to grow on this grass."
"Oh…I feel really silly now," Sveda said, and she made her cheeks go red. "Do you want to go for a walk?"
Finn gave her a warm smile, "I'd love to."
[Confessional: If you knew…
Sveda (Azerbaijan): It took me seven months to learn how to blush on demand. This is going to be a slow romance, so I must be patient, but soon I will have Finn under my thumb.
Finn (Ireland): Sveda is a bit of a handful, but I'm never one to turn someone down. I mean, you know, unless it was Rebecca Black. [he shudders]]
"…Where the bloody hell is everyone!?" Carolyn exclaimed angrily as she paced around outside the cabin. "I hope Ilene hasn't disappeared. I wonder if she wants to go…"
She paused when she heard a sound.
"What is that? Is someone singing?" she asked herself, and she walked up the steps to find out.
"Toni-i-i-i-i-i-ight, we are young! "Ilene's voiced poured out through the cracks of the cabin, and Carolyn could hear it easily.
"So let's set the world on fire! We can burn brighter Than the su-u-u-un!" she continued to sing.
"Holy mother of God! That's even better than the audition!" Carolyn cheered as she burst into the cabin, clapping her ends rapidly.
"Waugh!?" Ilene screamed almost immediately, before her face went bright red.
"Oh gosh, I'm so sorry! Did I scare you?" Carolyn asked in concern as Ilene sat on her bed and put her head in her hands.
"It's fine…" Ilene mumbled. "I hope I didn't annoy you or anything."
"What are you talking about!?" Carolyn exclaimed. "You have a gift! I mean, I can sing a bit, but I'm nowhere near as good as you. You should be number one."
"That's exactly what I fear," Ilene sighed.
"What's wrong? Do you want to talk about it? It's okay if you don't," Carolyn told her.
"It's just…I'm not sure if I enjoy this," Ilene sighed. "I a-auditioned for this show, because my friend said it c-could help start a s-singing c-career…and then s-someone l-leaked the tape and it got m-millions of v-views and, well, it's not fun…"
"I don't know why you'd have a problem with it. I wish I could get 10 million views on YouTube. I've been making videos for three years and I've just hit a total of 2,000,000 views," Carolyn sighed.
"It's not what it seems. No matter where I go…when I go through the corridor in school, everyone points at me, or asks for an autograph…ugh, it's really embarrassing. I only had one friend before, and now everyone keeps trying to hang out with me…I have tell them all to leave, and it's not fun."
Carolyn just continued to nod her head at this.
"I hope I haven't wasted your time. I can ramble like that a lot," Ilene said, shaking her head.
"No sweat!" Carolyn exclaimed, giving Ilene a bright smile. "Do you…um…want to go for a swim?"
Ilene smiled back. "I'd love to."
[Confessional: Where are you swimming? In my toilet?
Carolyn (United Kingdom): Ilene's pretty cool once you get to know her. Hopefully this'll only be a phase, because she's got a lot to say.
Ilene (Belgium): Carolyn…it was really nice of you to listen. Thanks.]
Meanwhile, at a different side of the lake, Tyge and Sanna were also watching the sunset.
"Ah, this is just like back in Cyprus," Tyge sighed in delight. "Just me, and the first and third most beautiful things in the world. All I'd need now is that flower I gave to David's mom at his funeral, and this would be perfect."
"Oh, and it's not already?" Sanna teased, giving him a light poke in the chest.
"Hey, you what I mean…here come the Shady Sharks!" Tyge exclaimed, pointing ahead as the seven remaining members of the team approached them.
"Let's see who left," Emilia, who was still sitting sitting on another side of the lake with Lou, and they both got up and ran over.
Tyge, Sanna, Tia and every member of the Ferocious Felines had gathered around to see who had left.
"Role call again!" Emilia exclaimed excitedly as she arrived towards them. "Agnessa's here, Hadi's here, Symon's here, Alma's here, Berto's here, Jessie's here, Shay's here and…aww!"
"Yeah, Zeferino's gone. Such a shame. I've gotta go to bed now," Jessie said, and she rushed off.
"It's quarter past eight," Marios pointed out.
"Don't tell me what to do," Jessie said as she disappeared into the distance.
"Well…I didn't see this coming," Emilia said glumly,
"Don't worry about him," Lou sighed. "Who needs him, is what I say?"
"I know he was the same guy who turned me down last year, but he was still a friend," Emilia sighed.
"He hasn't talked to you since you got voted off," Lou pointed out.
"You know what? I'll be fine. I was just a little shocked is all," Emilia shrugged, before looking at Agnessa. "Do you need a hug?"
"That would be nice," Agnessa smiled, and Emilia walked over and squeezed her.
"Hey, not so tight!" the former street girl squeaked. "I'm not Lou. There, that's better."
"How do you never suffocate?" Hadi asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I dunno. I think it's because of my build," Lou replied.
"In that case, I'm glad Dani doesn't hug me that much," Hadi stated, taking a breath of relief.
"There, there, you'll be alright. You're a strong young woman," Emilia told her as she patted Agnessa on the back. "If you can make it on the streets, you can make it anywhere."
"I'm not really sure if I made it there though," Agnessa joked, and the two girls laughed.
"You know, you, Lou, Zeferino and I should totally double date," Emilia told her as they both let go.
"Well, if Dani and Hadi can come along too," Agnessa replied.
"Cool. Now it's a triple date!" Emilia squealed.
"Oh, we could join too!" Tyge exclaimed excitedly. "Now it's a quadruple date!"
"And I think I know another couple who might be joining us," Emilia winked, nudging Alma.
"Oh…no…like we said, we're just friends," Alma replied hesitantly.
"Yeah, that'd be…like…so weird," Symon added. "I'm…uh…going to go back to the cabin. Do you want to come with me?"
"I'll stay here," Alma smiled, and she gave Symon a pat on the back before he left.
Once he was out of earshot, Alma squeed.
"What's wrong?" Katerina asked her.
"I think I'm making progress!" Alma said excitedly.
"Oh, well done! I knew you two were more than 'just friends!" Emilia exclaimed excitedly. "How far have you got?"
"Well…we were sitting on a rock up on a hill watching the sunset…" Alma began.
"Sunsets. That's a key feature," Lou chuckled, nudging Emilia.
"…and I put my arm around his shoulders, and he didn't make me stop!" Alma concluded.
Emilia and Lou both looked at each other in confusion, before looking at Alma and both giving her cheesy smiles.
"Awesome!" Lou exclaimed.
"Next thing you know, you'll be kissing under the moon!" Emilia squealed, giving her the thumb's up.
"Guys," Alma sighed, shaking her head. "I know it wasn't much, but I thought we were getting nowhere. But now something has actually happened – it feels…like something I've never felt before."
"I know that feeling," Emilia sighed. "I remember my first relationship. I was four year's old. It was at pre-school, and we had a wedding, and I was the bride. I had a yellow blankie as a veil."
"Haha, that's funny," Alma chuckled. "So, what should I do to try and get him to like me?"
"Do you know anyone who he hates?" Emilia asked.
"Er…" Alma replied, but she was interrupted by Shay.
"Wait a minute!" he exclaimed. "Did you say something about being on top of a hill?"
"Uh…" Alma was hesitant to reply.
"So, that's where you were this evening. Thought you could sneak away from the alliance, huh?" Shay asked angrily, poking her in the chest.
"Don't gimme that," Alma snapped. "I never agreed to an alliance. Neither did Symon!"
"Don't try and squirm out of the agreement," Shay said in a dangerous tone. "If you'll excuse me, I need to go punch the cabin wall."
As he stomped off, Alma looked at Berto with her arms folded.
"Well, don't I just pick my allies carefully?" the fisher said sarcastically.
"Hey, Lou!" Emilia exclaimed. "There's something I've been meaning to tell you, and I just remembered now."
"Oh, what is it?" Lou asked.
"Come over to this tree and I'll tell you," Emilia replied, running off and gesturing for him to come over.
With that, Lou also ran off.
"What was that about?" Luko asked confusedly.
"Emilia, what's up?" Lou asked her in concern once they were behind the tree.
"Okay, there's something I've been meaning to tell you," Emilia told him.
"Yeah, you've said that," Lou nodded. "What's wrong? Are you pregnant?"
"Lou, we haven't had sex since the day we got together," Emilia pointed out.
"Maybe it took that long," Lou pointed out.
Emilia looked at him in disbelief, "Haven't you done sex-ed?"
"Probably, but I don't remember a word of anything teachers say," Lou replied.
"That's not important," Emilia said, shaking her head. "I was walking through the forest this morning, and…I saw Marios and Adrijana…doing it!"
"Woah!" Lou exclaimed. "Didn't expect that. And…wait a minute, you watched two people have sex together? Tell me you left after 10 seconds."
"No – I just couldn't…something about it just glued me to the ground," Emilia replied. "It was like…a live action version of My Immortal."
"Is that the fanfic you showed me with that girl called Enoby Dementia Mary-Sue Way?" Lou asked.
"It's Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way, but she really should be called Mary-Sue," Emilia replied.
"So…she took off all his clothes…"
"Yep."
"And he undid her bra…"
"Yep."
"And he put his boy-thing in her girl thing…"
"Yep."
"And Dumbledore came in and yelled, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU…"
"No!" Emilia exclaimed. "Marios said that bit."
Lou shook his head. "I still can't believe this. Does anyone else know?"
"Yeah, that's the bad news," Emilia sighed. "Do you know Petros?"
"Is he the guy from Turkey?" Lou asked.
"He's from Armenia, and damn, you should never get those two mixed up," Emilia replied.
"Why not?" Lou asked.
"Politics and shit," Emilia replied, before shaking her head. "Again, not important. He'd been in the woods as well, and he saw Marios and Adrijana doing it, and he got caught, and they wedgied him to a tree."
"No way! I cannot believe Marios would do that," Lou replied. "I dunno…doesn't he seem like someone who would get a lot of wedgies?"
"I'd never give Marios a wedgie," Emilia replied.
"And wait a minute! You could have stood up for him!" Lou exclaimed, his arms in the air.
"I know, I know…" Emilia sighed. "I just…if I'd stood up for him, I would have had to explain everything…and…"
Lou shook his head at her. "I really don't know what to say to you right now."
[Confessional: Damn, Lou just laid it hard on Armenians…yeah, that's what I'm focusing on!
Emilia (Netherlands): I just wanted someone to talk about it with. I was going insane without telling anyone!
Though I guess Lou had the right to be mad. What I did was wrong.]
Once Lou had walked off, Emilia sighed to herself and went off a different direction.
A few seconds later, two figures popped out from under the lake.
"Jesus Christ, I was dying in there!" Carolyn exclaimed, taking several deep breaths.
"Really? I thought it was pretty easy," Ilene commented.
"Well, I suppose you have the lungs for it," Carolyn responded. "But still…Adrijana and Marios."
"I know. Weren't they enemies last season?" Ilene asked.
"It's amazing what can happen to people in twelve months," Carolyn said, shaking her head.
[Confessional: First Petros and Emilia, then Lou, and then Carolyn and Ilene. This is becoming a form of dominoes.
Carolyn (United Kingdom): While I am really shocked about how Adrijana tied Petros to a tree, and Emilia did nothing about it, I just can't help it…
EEEEIIII! Marios and Adrijana! I totally ship them! I'm not really sure how they managed to get together, but I don't care.
Still, I am a little sad that she beat me to it. I had a bit of a crush on Marios. Then again, I had a crush on a lot of guys last season. I'm sure a lot of fans felt the same way.
[she stares at the camera and frowns]
Look, I never thought I'd meet any of the cast, so I never thought I'd have to be ashamed.]
"Place your bets!" the man at the counter announced.
"Let's see – 2 chips on number 13. It's unlucky for some, but lucky for me," Stela replied. She was sitting at the counter which had a roulette wheel on it, along with three elderly men and…Kelija?
"What are you doing here?" Stela gasped, panicking.
"Meow," Kelija replied smugly, picking up three chips with her mouth and putting them between 6 and 7.
"Okay, no more bets!" the man announced, and he spun the roulette wheel and placed the ball in it.
Stela and Kelija both looked at it, nervous looks on their faces.
…
"Black 13!" the man announced. "Black 13!"
"Yes!" Stela cheered, and she grabbed a load of chips. "Take that, Kelija!"
"Grrr…" Kelija growled, and she jumped from her chair and pounced on Stela's face.
"ARRRGH!" Stela screamed as the cat used her claws to scrape her.
"Kelija, no!" Katerina yelled from the other side of the room.
"Bad girl!" Katerina frowned as she pulled the cat off of Stela's face.
"Huh!?" the gambler exclaimed, sitting up in bed and shaking her head. It was full of scratches.
"I don't know what's gotten into you!" Katerina scolded as she wagged her finger at her cat. "But you better not be at Stela again."
She looked at Stela and said, "I'm sorry about her. This isn't the first time it's happened."
"I know," Stela replied, before looking around. "What time is it?"
"It's quarter past four," Katerina replied, pointing to the clock, before wiping her forehead. "Ugh, I can't sleep in this heat."
"Agreed," said Estrella, who was hanging from her bunk with her legs wrapped around the bedpost. "This is just like the summer heat back at Catalonia, but at least I had air conditioning."
"My family can't afford air conditioning, so I have to make do with electric fans," Katerina scowled. "Still, it's better than this."
"Why don't you go sleep outside? There's plenty of room on the front porch to put a mattress," Stela suggested.
"We tried doing that a couple of hours ago," Katerina told her. "Farmer Bogas used one of those dog catching things to force us back inside."
"Ugh, I know," Estrella replied. "I see stuff like that at other circuses. It makes me sick that people would force animals to do something they don't want to do."
"Well, I'm going back to sleep," Stela stated, settling down, and she was out in ten seconds.
"How does she do it?" Katerina asked in awe.
[Confessional: I don't need to sleep, for I am but an inanimate wooden object! :P
Stela (Romania): I'm a heavy sleeper! It's both a blessing and a curse – once I slept in when I had a state exam, and I ended up failing geography – not that I needed to pass it anyway.]
(6.00am)
The guys on the Malicious Mantises were all struggling to get some sleep, when Marios rose out of bed and crept across the cabin.
At the same time, Petros sat up and yawned.
"Don't even think about following me again!" Marios whispered threateningly.
"I wouldn't dream of it," Petros replied as he put on his hat.
"Good," Marios smiled, before walking out and slamming the door behind him.
"What's he up to?" Tyge asked as he also sat up in bed.
"For your sake, and my sake, I'd rather not say," Petros replied.
[Confessional: Because Marios would have absolutely no problem wedging Tyge to a tree – or is the term 'wedgying'?
Tyge (Norway): Marios sure has been acting really weird lately, and it looks like Petros is in on it now.
Oh well, if they don't want me to know, I won't try to find out.
Vincenz (Switzerland): There is a disturbance within our cabin – but I can't quite pinpoint it.
For some reason, I've never quite caught on to reading people's auras. I'll have to ask Dawn for some tips.]
"Heh, heh," Shay said to himself as he finished tying a rope to the ceiling as he leaned out from his top bunk.
"Ah, what are you doing!?" Berto exclaimed angrily as he pulled off the covers of his bed.
"You like?" Shay asked, and the camera revealed what he had done. He had tied Symon upside-down from a rope that was attached to a hook on the ceiling.
"Arrgh! Help me!" Symon screamed as he suddenly woke up. "What am I doing like this?"
"I am asking myself the same thing," Berto sighed to himself. "Shay, get him down from there!"
"No! It serves the little weasel right for not voting with us!" Shay exclaimed, and he tore a piece of wood off of the top of the bedpost, and started beating Symon with it.
"Stop! I don't deserve this! I voted for Zeferino last night!" Symon yelled.
"That's a likely story!" Shay exclaimed, and he continued to hit him with his stick.
"Shay, let him down!" Berto exclaimed angrily, and he walked over to Symon, gave him a quick jerk, loosening the top and making the Ukrainian fall on top of him.
"Thanks," Symon said as he got up from the ground.
"Hey, what did you do that for? The kid is a backstabber and a liar!" Shay yelled angrily.
"He never joined our alliance to begin with!" Berto exclaimed.
"What are you talking about? He voted for Dani with us," Shay pointed out.
"He would have voted for her anyway," Berto stated. "Dani was mean to her…should I say…close friend."
Symon nodded at this.
"And there is a good chance that he voted for Zeferino," Berto said. "Lara told us that Zeferino got four sets of twelve – chances are, it was him."
"But…but…sorry man. False alarm," Shay said to Symon, patting him on the head. Symon looked very confused.
"Hadi!" Shay screamed, stomping over to him. "Get out of bed! This is for being in the other alliance!"
"Shay…" Berto groaned, rushing to stop him.
[Confessional: S-H-A-Y! The sound of his name makes Ukrainian guys cry!
Symon (Ukraine): Huh!? Okay, Shay is seriously freaking me out. Next time we lose, I'm voting him off!
Hadi (Israel): Shay is starting to remind me of one of those goons who Tampon hung around with – it's a good thing I don't go to that school anymore.
Shay (Russia): I don't see what Symon is whining about. Unlike everyone else in the cabin, he actually managed to get some sleep.]
Alma and Agnessa were both in their bunks, trying to get some sleep after such a horrible night.
"Bluh…" the Belarusian girl groaned.
Suddenly, Jessie burst into the room with a trumpet, and made the longest, loudest and most shrill sound she could with it.
"Wake up you two! Rise and shine! It's time to start a brand new day!" she exclaimed.
"[Russian swear word]," Agnessa groaned as she sat up. There were tears going down her eyes.
"You miss Zeferino?" Alma asked, also sitting up.
"Yeah – I never thought he'd go so soon," Agnessa sighed. "Still, I'm sure he'd want me to go on without him."
"Sure, you can do it Agatha! Anything to help us get a win!" Jessie cheered, sitting down next to Agnessa on her bunk and giving her a hard pat on the back.
"Eek!" Agnessa squeaked, her eyes widened.
"Oh, by the way, I know what your name is," Jessie told her. "I just think Agatha sounds better."
"Sure…call me whatever you want," Agnessa replied, giving her a false smile, and once Jessie had turned away, she looked at Alma with an irritated expression.
Alma just nodded in response.
"Now, I'm going to go get some breakfast. A growing girl needs her vitamins!" Jessie exclaimed, and she swung her arms as she walked out of the cabin.
[Confessional: Shouldn't Vitamin A be in apples, and Vitamin C be in carrots, not vice-versa?
Jessie (Italy): This is way too fun. Maybe I should give it up soon, since it's not as effective as I thought for getting me far in the game.
Still, the look on Agnessa's face!
Agnessa (Belarus): Jessie has given me a headache! Why couldn't she have left last night?]
Emilia yawned as she walked out of the cabin.
"Hey there, gorgeous! Looking fine as always!" Lou said smoothly as he got up from sitting the railing on the porch of the cabin.
"You flatterer," Emilia chuckled. "So, I take you're not still mad."
"About what?" Lou asked confusedly.
"Oh…nothing," Emilia said, taking a breath of relief.
"Oh, you meant about the…Adrijana and Marios…Petros getting wedgied to a tree…" Lou suddenly remembered. "I'll let it go for now. I have other problems to deal with."
With that, he continued to scratch his arms.
"Ugh, when I scratch it, more of them appear," he groaned.
"Don't worry about it. It stops itching after a couple of days, and nearly everyone else here has got it before," Emilia replied.
"Such a shame," Lou sighed, as he scratched the back of his neck. "Because there are some people I would love to infect."
"Don't look at me," Pavils said angrily as he walked past them.
Carolyn and Ilene were sitting on their bunks inside their cabin discussing what they had heard the night before.
"Wow, Marios and Adrijana!" Carolyn exclaimed. "Adrijana and Marios. I wonder what their shipping name will be – Marijana – though that just sounds like marijuana."
"That's the least of our worries," Ilene sighed. "Do you remember what Emilia told Lou? They wedgied Petros to a tree!"
"I know. It's so unlike Marios to do that. To think I used to have a crush on him," Carolyn sighed.
"Er…I thought you had a crush on Lou," Ilene said confusedly.
Carolyn shook her head, "When you're a huge fan of something, you tend to fall in love with every guy you see – and occasionally girls."
"Are you bisexual?" Ilene asked. "I mean…not to be rude."
"No, but I've been asked that before. It's no problem," Carolyn shrugged. "But watching Agnessa twerking…bollocks!"
Ilene raised her eyebrows in concern.
"That's not important," Carolyn added, blushing.
"Well, what should we do? Should we tell Adrijana we know?" Ilene asked her.
"Nah – we'd have too much to explain. But we will have to do it eventually," Carolyn stated. "Maybe we should tell Emilia at least…"
"Maybe…" Ilene sighed. "Should we go get breakfast?"
"Sounds good," Carolyn nodded. "I've been craving some strawberries. Maybe someone is willing to trade?"
"I dunno," Ilene responded, and they both walked out of the cabin.
Once they were gone, Sveda sat up in bed with an evil grin on her face.
[Confessional: And that leads to another…
Sveda (Azerbaijan): How did they not notice me there? I really do a good job at blending in.
Or they thought I was too stupid to understand what they were saying. It could be either.
Sure, I already pretty much knew about Adrijana and Marios judging by their body language, but now I know that they wedgied Petros to a tree!
Naughty boy, what was he doing near them anyway?
I'm not sure how this will help me with my gameplay, but I do know how it could give me a cheap laugh…]
"Ew…what are you doing?" Finn asked in disgust as he walked out of the toilet stall.
"Er…what does it look like? I'm shaving my armpits," Pavils replied as he stood in front of the mirror with a razor.
"Uh…why?" Finn asked confusedly.
"You mean…you don't?" Pavils asked, also looking a bit disgusted.
"I mean, what's the point?" Finn shrugged. "Nobody is going to see it."
"Well yeah but…you really don't shave your underarms? That's so gross," Pavils replied.
"It's way more gross to shave it. I mean…uh…" Finn struggled to come up with a response, when Sveda appeared at the doorway.
"Hey boys," she said sexily, placing her elbow on the doorframe.
"Oh, Sveda, what's up?" Finn asked as he picked up a towel and started to dry his hands with it. "What can I do for you today?"
"I just wanted to say I had an awesome night last night," Sveda replied. "That walk was very…relaxing."
"Yeah, I enjoyed it too," Finn stated.
"Well, I felt really hungry for some apples today, and I think there might be some trees down in the woods. Do you want to walk down there with me?" Sveda asked.
"Er…sure," Finn gave her a cheesy smile. "Pavils, I'm going to the woods with Sveda. I'll catch up with you later."
"Kay, bye," Pavils nodded as the 'couple' walked off.
[Confessional: Why couldn't she have picked Pavils? He's way more deserving of a false relationship!
Pavils (Latvia): Seriously…Finn doesn't shave there? Gross!]
"Okay, everyone, it's challenge time!" Lara announced over the intercom, and the contestants quickly gathered around.
"Ugh, what a horrible night," Johannes groaned as he trudged across the grass along with the other guys on the Ferocious Felines.
"I know. I've never been so tired in my life. I'm not used to that sort of heat," Rikard sighed.
"I am, and I thought it sucked," Beni groaned. "How are you holding, Luko?"
"Grah…" the normally hyperactive guy groaned.
"Hey boys," Estrella sighed as she and Katerina dragged their legs over.
"Hi, Estrella," Beni said drearily. "How are you today?"
"Exhausted," Estrella replied.
"Between the blazing heat, the cheap mattresses, and the horrible smell in the cabins – I guess this was inevitable," Katerina added.
"Say, where's Stela and Anton?" Luko asked as he wiped his forehead.
"They're on their way," Katerina sighed.
"Ah, let me go! I do not want to do this challenge," Anton said in the most unenthusiastic voice ever as Stela dragged him across the grass.
"You really don't put up much of a fight," Stela chuckled. "Hey, guys! He wasn't moving, so I found another way to get him out."
"I can't blame him. Last night was vitleysa," Johannes sighed.
"Oh, cheer up guys. It wasn't that bad," Stela said, putting her arms around Katerina and Estrella's shoulders.
"Oh, shut up, Stela. You actually got a good night's sleep," Katerina snapped.
Kelija made a weird hissing noise at Stela.
"Okay, don't kill me," Stela said, putting her palms in the air.
"Good to see you're all here!" Lara announced as Sveda and Finn were the last to walk up to the group.
[Confessional: If you put their names together, you get Sinn, which is absolutely fitting.
Sveda (Azerbaijan): Unfortunately, Krava had to announce over the intercom that there was a challenge before I could find Marios and Adrijana.
Oh well, maybe tomorrow.]
"Can we please get this over with so I can go back to sleep!?" Anka whined.
"Fine – Jeez, somebody's a diva," Lara said sourly. "Anyways, today's challenge is a Total Drama classic – the talent contest!"
"Oh come on. Haven't we already had enough of those?" Adrijana groaned.
"I know. This is, like, the fourth one in the franchise now," Marios added. "First…"
"Shut up!" Lara exclaimed.
"And she's the diva," Adrijana muttered sarcastically.
"Let's just get to the jist," Lara sighed. "Each team must send their two best acts, and my dearest father here will be judging it. You have eight hours to pick your acts, and then you will all take to the stage.
Each act will be marked out of ten, and the team with the most points altogether will win the reward, and in the event of a tie, the contestant who got the highest mark will win for their team. The team with the least points altogether will go to the elimination ceremony.
Also, just a rule. If you sing, you have to sing a Eurovision song. Anything else and we get sued. By the way, Ilene, the producers are not happy about you singing last night."
Ilene gulped at this.
"Do we have to do a challenge today? We're all exhausted," Katerina groaned, and there was a chorus of agreement from the other contestants.
"Alright then…but what if I told you what the reward was?" Lara asked. "The winner of this challenge gets…"
…
…
…
…
"…air conditioning in their cabin."
There was a series of cheers and squees at this.
[Confessional: It's about time! Where's my lemonade?
Petros (Armenia): Finally, a reward worth getting. Not one person has actually bothered using the gramophone we got last time, and unless you're Lou, you've no use for paint.
Finn (Ireland): Living in a country which gets rain 365 days a year, I thought a summer in the sun would be fun.
Holy **** was I wrong?]
"Okay, this is awesome! We have just the team for this!" Beni cheered as he stood on the porch. "I'll go first! Here's my talent. I did this on my audition tape, so I guarantee that this will get us points!"
He took three rocks out of his pockets.
"Of course, when I actually did this, I had regular juggling balls, but they are not accessible right now, so I'll just have to make do," Beni said, before getting down on his hands and knees and standing on his head.
"Are you going to stand on your head for ten minutes?" Stela asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No, just one minute," Beni replied, and he picked up the rocks with his hands, threw them in the air, and started juggling them with his feet.
"Wow!" Luko exclaimed in enthusiasm.
"Such toned legs," Rikard added.
"You said it," swooned Estrella.
"And done!" Beni exclaimed, letting the rocks fall onto the ground, before he stood back up. "I take that I'm in."
"Well, we'll take a look at the other acts first," Stela told him.
[Confessional: Psh, I can juggle with my toilet seat.
Beni (Moldova): Is it just me, or is the confessional talking. Am I going crazy or what?
Confessional: You're already crazy as it is.
Beni: Oh, shut up!]
"Since I played the best game last year out of everyone, I believe it would be fitting if I judged who will and won't be representing us," Aleksander stated. "So…who's first?"
"Nobody, because this is going to be a democratic vote," Adrijana said dryly, folding her arms. "After everyone is done auditioning, there'll be a show of hands. Whoever gets the most votes gets to represent us. It's simple, effective and fair."
"Did Marios teach you about it?" Aleksander asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No…" Adrijana replied hesitantly. "I got it off the internet…but that's not important. Who's up first?"
"Me!" Pavils exclaimed, and he backflipped onto the porch of the cabin. "Somebody give me a beat!"
"No!" most of the others on the team yelled.
"Here, I'll give you one," Finn said, and he started to beatbox.
With that, Pavils got down on the ground and started to breakdance. He did many moves, including a backflip, and a load of other stuff that I don't know the name of.
Finn immediately started to cheer, and Ilene and Carolyn couldn't help but join in.
"Hey, you gotta admit, it was pretty good," Emilia stated.
"I've seen better," Lou snarled as he continued to scratch himself.
[Confessional: Breakdancing is soooooooo mainstream.
Pavils (Latvia): Does Lou seriously have to hate on everything I do? Maybe if you actually tried talking to me instead of being a diva, we might have made friends.
Lou (Cyprus): Having to put up with Pavils…brings so many horrible memories.]
(Shady Sharks)
"Okay, we've lost twice in a row, but this is our chance to get out of the [Italian swear word]!" Berto announced, standing on the porch of their cabin. "So, who's first to audition?"
"Oh, oh, me first! Me first! Me first!" Symon exclaimed enthusiastically.
"Take it away man!" Berto exclaimed as he jumped off the porch and joined the others.
"Okay…ahem…" Symon cleared his throat.
"Excuse me…" he continued, as he continued to cough. "Hang on…"
"Can you just get on with it!?" Shay yelled.
Symon took a deep breath, "Okay, here we go –"
He spoke in a perfect impression of Lindsay -
"But we were going to the final 3 together…you mean, I've been helping you all this time and you didn't even like me?
You really are mean! And all that bad stuff people say about you is true – like, how you're a two-faced, backstabbing, lying little…"
He then made a perfect impression of a kilohertz tone.
The other members of the team cheered for this.
"And I'd do some more impressions, but I'd rather save them for tonight," Symon stated, and he jumped off the porch.
"Well, I think Symon should be one of our acts!" Berto exclaimed. "But, please, when you actually go on, can you cough beforehand?"
"I'll see…" Symon gagged as he stood aside. "Gasp…I need some water!"
"I'll get it!" Alma exclaimed, running off.
[Confessional: That ain't no arachnid!
Symon (Ukraine): Ugh – fine time to have a coughing fit! In case you didn't know, I have really [Ukrainian swear word] lungs so I get really bad coughing fits.
I remember how much pain I used to cause myself from holding it in last year – I guess it's a good thing I got cut so early.]
"Sanna, are you sure this is safe?" Tyge asked in concern.
"Tyge, you've already seen me do this many, many times," Sanna sighed, shaking her head as she and her wheelchair sat at the top of a wooden ramp. Tia was standing behind her. "Okay, Tia, let it rip!"
"Alright, here we go!" Tia exclaimed, giving Sanna a push. The paraplegic flew down the ramp and went through a hoop before landing back on the ground.
"See, nothing to worry about," Sanna said, looking at Tyge.
"Of course – I just get worried seeing you up there," Tyge said, still looking a little tense.
[Confessional: I've heard of past, present and future, but little tense?
Amanda (Sweden): It's probably the only thing he gets worried about at all.]
"…Eighteen…Nineteen…twenty!" Shay exclaimed triumphantly as he repeatedly lifted a large tree trunk in the air.
"Okay, that was impressive, don't get me wrong," Berto commented. "But I'm not sure it's quite what we're looking for."
"Darn," Shay sighed, walking down from the porch before throwing the tree trunk aside.
Alma had been walking back to the cabin with a glass of water when the tree trunk landed beside her.
"Ack!" she screamed, accidentally splashing half of the contents of the glass in her face.
"Haha, priceless," Shay chuckled.
"Not funny," Alma snapped, before walking over to Symon and handing him the water that was still in the cup. "Here you go."
"Thanks," Symon replied, and he gulped it down.
"So, anyone else want to audition?" Berto asked.
There was brief silence, before Hadi raised his hand and said, "Well…uh…I could beatbox."
"Hmm…" was Berto's response.
"Oh, I have an idea!" Agnessa exclaimed. "I could sing with you! Then you'd be beatboxing and I'd be singing."
"Never would have guessed," Berto muttered sarcastically, before looking up and saying, "Hey, that could work! Why don't you come up and demonstrate?"
"Okay," Hadi nodded, and the two of them walked onstage.
Hadi put his hands together and brought them to his mouth, and immediately began to imitate a snare drum.
"Er…what should I sing?" Agnessa asked hesitantly.
"First song that comes to your mind," Hadi hissed, before continuing to beatbox.
"Um…uh…" Agnessa hesitated before starting to belt out –
"Solayoh, solayoh,
When the sun is always sharin' with ya
Replayo, replayo
To a ribbon and a…cha-cha!"
"I'm sorry, I forget the words," Agnessa said, blushing.
"You know what? I like it," Berto said. "What do the rest of you think?"
The other members of the team cheered in agreement.
"So, it looks like we have our two representatives!" Berto announced. "Though you should try polishing it up a bit before you go on."
"Of course," the two of them nodded in agreement.
"Okay…one more thing to do now!" Berto exclaimed, putting his hand out in front of him. "Everyone gather around!"
The others all responded and put their hands on top of Berto's.
"To not losing three times in a row!" Berto exclaimed.
"TO NOT LOSING THREE TIMES IN A ROW!" everyone else cheered, throwing their arms in the air.
[Confessional: Small guy, small country, big ambition
Berto (San Marino): Well, it looks like I've taken the leadership role on this team. It sorta just…happened, but I don't mind. I was sort of a background character last season, so this is a nice change for me.]
"So, it looks like I'm going to be representing us!" Sanna cheered, pumping her fist. "Would anyone else like to audition? Anyone?"
There was a moment of silence.
"Come on, guys. Don't be shy," Sanna sighed.
After some more silence, Petros raised his hand and said, "Well, er, I have something but…um…it's a bit lame."
"Oh come on, it's probably not that bad," Sanna said encouragingly. "What is it?"
"A magic trick," Petros sighed.
"Great, what's it gonna be? Is he gonna make someone's panties appear?" Marios cracked up. Tia, who was standing next to him, just rolled her eyes.
Petros also frowned at this, before standing up on the porch and making a deck of cards appear out of nowhere.
"Okay, I'd like a volunteer!" he exclaimed. "How about…Marios."
Marios looked a bit surprised by this.
"Come on. Up here. Don't be shy," Petros taunted.
"Sure. I'll come up," Marios responded, stomping up the steps of the porch.
"Pick a card," Petros instructed him.
"Er…sure…" Marios responded, reaching into the deck and picking one out.
"Concentrate on your card, show it to the others, do whatever you want, just don't let me see it," Petros continued.
Marios stared at the card for a few seconds, before showing it around for the others to see. It was the eight of spades.
"So far so good. Now give it back," Petros requested.
Marios grunted as he handed the card back to the Armenian guy.
"Now shuffle the deck," Petros continued, handing the deck to Marios. "Shuffle it however you want."
"Okay…" Marios sighed as he attempted to do so. "I've never been any good at this."
Once he had 'shuffled' the deck, he handed it back to Petros who asked him – "Just one more question. Was your card a black card, or a red card?"
"Black," Marios replied.
"Yes, I suspected so," Petros nodded, to which Marios rolled his eyes. Meanwhile, Petros cut the deck, picked up the bottom half, and dropped it to the ground, making the cards scatter all over the porch.
Most of the cards landed face down, but two cards landed face up – the 3 of diamonds, and the 8 of spades.
"Is that your card?" Petros asked, picking up the 8 of spades and holding it up for everyone to see.
"Wow!" Tyge exclaimed in awe.
"Psh, that was nothing," Marios said condescendingly. "You obviously...er…put some sort of weight into this card so that I'd pick it, and it would drop forward."
He snatched the card from Petros and started feeling it to try and find some sort of bump in it.
"That's not how the trick works, but I've heard worse guesses," Petros shrugged.
"Well, it looks we have our two representatives! Me and Petros!" Sanna announced.
[Confessional: It's Petros and I :P
Amanda (Sweden): What is Marios' deal? Petros accidentally knocks off his towel in the shower, and he goes insane!
There's got to be more to this…those two boys know something that I don't…
Sanna (Denmark): Marios, you're a cool guy and all, but come on, Petros made one mistake. No excuse to get up in his face.
Tia (Bulgaria): Marios is not right in the head. Pretty sure what Petros did in the shower was an accident.
Aleksander did stuff like that to me on purpose a few times last year – it's a good thing they never aired any of it.
Anka (Montenegro): [she lets out a high-pitched whine] Why can't Mario and Pedro start hitting each other with sticks? Now that I would watch.]
Come back next week when we'll have more auditions, judging and an elimination. Will it be a shocker? Or predictable? And has Beni just broken the fourth wall?
Find out next time on Euro...Drama...Roadtrip