Sister Monica Joan's quote is from Victor Hugo and some of her lines are from the 2013 Christmas Special.
The clock ticked in a comforting rhythm from the corner of the sitting room as the Nuns worked on their crafts for the night. Sister Evangelina scowled into the mending, tutting as she checked another pair of woollen tights. She slammed them down onto her lap and glowered across at Sister Monica Joan. "One rather wonders if you have taken up climbing trees, or skidding down the bannisters. I mean look at the state of these."
Sister Monica Joan barely glanced up from the knitted animal that had her attention for the time being as she replied, "I do not have to concern myself with such matters, there are much more important ones at hand."
"Says someone who doesn't have to do their own mending."
"Only because you all seem to have decided that I cannot be trusted!" The elder Nun's cheeks flushed with righteous indignation. "You think that I have lost my wits and you seek to divert me with childish means!" She shook her own knitting as point of proof. "You do this and then you bemoan that I do not undertake the tasks you have deemed me incapable of!"
"That is not what I meant!"
Sister Julienne reached across, intervening between the warring pair and picked up the ball of wool that had flown from Sister Monica Joan's lap, placing it back from where it had rolled from. "You are trusted," she reassured her. "Your experience can never be lightly discounted and certainly never ignored. We simply felt that given all the years you have served both God and the community it was only right that you should be allowed to enjoy your time now."
"Although preferably whilst taking more care of your own belongings," Sister Evangelina grumbled half-heartedly.
Sister Julienne let out a small sigh as she gave a small shake of her head, relieved when Sister Monica Joan simply took up her craft work again, ignoring that last remark. Deciding to change the subject as quickly as possible, she turned to a rather engrossed Sister Bernadette and remarked, "I hear you worked wonders today."
"Hmm?" Sister Bernadette glanced up, the last few moments of conversation having passed her by, so deep in her thoughts that she was unaware of almost anything else.
Smiling encouragingly, Sister Julienne continued, "At Dr Turner's surgery. I hear that you managed to get it looking spick and span and re-organised some of his filing."
"Oh." She flushed slightly as she replied, "Well I thought that perhaps I could be of some use, it seemed more productive than floating around."
"Well I'm sure that Dr Turner was more extremely grateful for you giving up your time."
Sister Evnagelina gave an inelegant snort. "Of course he would have been. That man grows more disorganised with every passing day."
Her blush growing slightly more pronounced, Sister Bernadette felt herself bristle at those words. "It's hardly his fault that his secretary has abandoned her post. He's kept busy enough without worrying about trying to keep on top of every little incidental."
"He has taken on quite a lot since his wife died," Sister Julienne concurred.
"What he needs is to remarry," Sister Evangelina announced. "He needs a wife to keep him in check, and that little boy of his needs a mother again."
"It's not as simple as that. They've suffered a loss, time will help close the wound although I suspect that it never fully heals," Sister Julienne mused. "Although when they are ready, I'm sure that the right person will be welcomed with great joy into their little family."
Sister Bernadette had fallen silent once more. She wanted more than anything else to be that person, to bring that joy back into those two particular lives, along with some well needed organisation. They were like a rudderless ship and at this point in time she knew that feeling well, as she floundered on, looking for meaning and answers.
"But in the meantime I'm sure that Sister Bernadette has eased his burden considerably," Sister Julienne concluded with another small smile in her direction. She had seen the frown that had crossed the younger woman's features and could not quite fathom what had put it there. She felt as though she were missing something, something she couldn't quite put her finger on.
She intended to press on, to try and figure out what exactly it was that she was missing, but all of their attentions were caught by the sound of laughter in hallway. Excited chatter of words that were slightly too muffled to make out exactly what was being said and the rush of footsteps filled the room. Sister Evangelina rocked back in her chair, her chest swelling indignantly as she remarked, "It seems that Nurse Lee is finally back from her afternoon out." She glanced up at the clock and tutted, "And about time too."
"She is young and has attracted the attention of a handsome young man, it's normal for her to want to enjoy that. Nurse Lee is perfectly sensible, I don't believe that we need to worry about her succumbing to any impropriety."
"She may be sensible, but we know nothing of him," came the wary mutter. "He could be up to all sorts."
"From what the other girls say, he is very respectful." Sister Julienne tried to hold back a laugh at her fellow Sister's reaction. Though she came across as a tartar, she was actually a big softie and became rather attached to her charges, prone in private to worrying over them like a mother hen.
"They would say that. What do they know of men, they are young and blinkered by a nice face, they don't know the truth of it, what some men can be like." She sucked in a breath between her teeth as she continued, "We've seen, seen it all."
"Not all men are like that," Sister Bernadette offered timidly.
"Of course not," Sister Julienne agreed.
"But we don't know what he's like, that is my point."
"Well then why don't we invite him round for tea?" Sister Julienne suggested. "Put your mind at rest."
Sister Evangelina gave another snort as she picked up her mending. "My mind is fine, but as we have a duty of care to our girls then it may be the most prudent course of action."
"Sister Julienne glanced over at Sister Bernadette, planning to share a conspiratorial smile with her, only to find that she once again was lost in her own thoughts, her head bent over her work, her mind elsewhere.
"You should be honoured," Jenny told Alec with a laugh as she pulled him into the hallway of Nonnatus House. "Very few men are allowed into these hallowed halls."
"Believe me, I am more than aware of the honour bestowed upon me," he replied, catching her hand and squeezing it lightly. "And it's taking all my strength to stop my knees from knocking together."
"They aren't that bad," she tried to assure him. "Although Sister Evangelina can have quite a bark on her at times." As his face paled, Jenny twirled round to face him and giving a chuckle, added, "Try not to worry so much, they simply want to make sure that I'm stepping out with someone decent and respectable; that you're not going corrupt me."
"As if I could, you have a will of iron," he managed to joke. "Have you told them just how difficult it was to persuade you just to give me a chance?"
"We never discuss such matters," she told him. She pulled a face of mock horror, I can just imagine Sister Evangelina's horror if we began to ruminate over our love lives over the autoclave."
"It may make the hours pass quicker."
"Oh believe me, they pass quickly enough, sometimes it feels as though there aren't enough of them in the day."
"Such a busy bee."
Alec leaned in an attempt to kiss her cheek, looking startled and slightly hurt when Jenny pulled away. "Alec!" She scolded him. "If you're going to make a good impression then we can't have any of that!"
"It was only going to be a peck," he protested.
"Well, better safe than sorry," she retorted primly. Letting go of his hand, she beckoned him through into the bustling kitchen, trying not to laugh again at the curious faces that turned to face them on their entrance.
Sister Bernadette muttered her greetings to Jenny's new beau before falling silent again, lost in her own contemplation. Every so often she would look up into the smiling faces of Nurse Lee and her friend and would feel the most horrible twinge of envy. They were happy and their radiance was reflected in those around the table. She felt so little and petty that she could not share in that.
There was only happiness in her stolen moments with Patrick, there was no openness, although he wished there to be, only secrecy. She wanted that clarity, that moment that would tell her whether or not the happiness she felt in those moments would be enough to sustain them through the difficult times that would follow should they step into the light. That they could hold strong throughout the whispers and possibility of isolation, that the love they felt just now would endure, that it was not a fleeting feeling. How was she to be sure of that?
Eventually she managed to pull herself back into the conversation, back to reality. She had spent so long dwelling on these matters and no doubt she would spend longer, now was not the time for that.
"I hope that you're not leading our Nurse Lee astray," Sister Evangelina was warning Alec, her finger waggling from side to side.
"I wouldn't dream of it, and I have no doubt that she wouldn't let me, even if I tried," he attempted to joke.
"Men always try," she grumbled. "Always try and push their luck, half the babies in Poplar are here because of that fact."
"Sister Evangelina!" Trixie giggled in shock. "That's hardly appropriate talk for the dinner table."
"You can't be too careful, dinner table or not."
Sister Monica Joan peered between Nurse Lee and the unfamiliar face who had joined them. The sparks of a memory tugged at the corner of her minds as she listened to Sister Evangelina preach on about how men took liberties. She took a small bite of her cake, chewing thoughtfully as an image began to dance on her eyes again. A stolen moment of passion, the faces blurred but he was tall, dark hair. She looked up her eyes gleeful at the thought of a recovered memory and announced, "They push their luck more when you have allowed them such a liberty once."
Jenny looked surprised, her shoulders bristling as she replied, "Well then there is nothing to worry about."
Sister Monica Joan smiled knowingly. "You should be more careful of open doors, even eyes that do not wish to pry notice such things."
"What on earth are you wittering on about?" Sister Evangelina asked, as the younger nurses began to shoot speculative looks in Jenny's direction.
"How did it happen that their lips came together? How does it happen that birds sing, that snow melts, that the rose unfolds, that the dawn whitens behind the stark shapes of trees on the quivering summit of the hill? A kiss, and all was said," She almost sang in delight.
Sister Evanglina looked horrified. "I knew it, I knew this would happen one of these days!"
Jenny held her hands up, shaking her head as she protested, "I never…we never." She looked around in shock. "Alec hasn't even been allowed to pass through these doors until today."
Sister Bernadette felt a small tug of panic in her stomach, remembering the stolen kiss she shared with Dr Turner in the equipment room, she thought it had gone unnoticed…but no, that had been weeks ago. They couldn't possibly have been seen.
"Well then what are you talking about? Did you see them or not?" Sister Evangelina demanded.
"I'm not sure if this is quite the place for this conversation," Sister Julienne announced quietly, attempting to intervene.
"She cannot be left to spread such rumours and if it's true then Nurse Lee clearly needs a closer eye kept on her."
Trixie attempted to disguise her burst of laughter, giggling into her sleeve as she shot the aghast looking Jenny a sympathetic look.
Sister Monica Joan's eyebrows knitted together as she attempted to fathom out what it was that she saw. Something was unsettled within her, she knew she had seen something forbidden, something shocking. She tried to focus on the blurring, she could see the dark hair but it was not Nurse Lee. There had been a flash of white, like that of the habit she wore. Habit…Her eyes roamed the table, landing on her youngest Sister. She felt the swell of recognition, accompanied by a pang of disappointment. "I was mistaken," she whispered.
"Well there you go," Sister Evangelina declared, satisfied for the moment. "We do not need to out Nurse Lee under house arrest quite yet."
Sister Monica Joan reached across the table, her fingertips pressing against Sister Bernadette's hand. "You have veered very far from course." Her eyes teared as she stared at her in hurt disbelief. "You have forsworn the succour of the spirit, for the slaking of the flesh, you have confused your appetites."
A ragged sound of horror escaped from Sister Bernadette as she felt the eyes of the table turn onto her. She was barely aware of the scraping of her chair legs against the floor as she pushed herself upright, her gaze fixed on Sister Monica Joan, her breathing heavy as her blues eyes stayed locked on the older woman's. "I…I…"
"You have forsaken your vows, partaken of the sins of the flesh, but to what end?"
She couldn't listen to anymore, could not face the condemnation of those she had considered closest to herself. Her feet were moving before she was even aware that she was leaving. She couldn't stay. Her feet carried her unthinkingly, she broke into a run towards the door, not even pausing to grab her coat as she ran into the cold night.