Kurt unlocks the door to the apartment, feeling tired to the depths of his bones. He's praying Blaine isn't home, because he needs to sleep, and he feels unable to do that while he's there and the awkward atmosphere between them prevails. Only Blaine is there, standing in the living room, which is dimly lit with candles. The furniture is pushed back against the walls, and on the floor is a large rug, a picnic of sorts spread out on it, and a bottle of wine with two glasses.

"What's this?"

"Well," Blaine takes a step forward, and it is only then that Kurt notices he's dressed in nice maroon pants, and Kurt's favorite light blue shirt. He also wears a bow tie, naturally, but no shoes or socks, which makes Kurt smile inside. "I can't cook as well as you," Blaine says quietly, and he gestures to the food behind him. "So I figured I'd take you on a picnic, but then I remembered it's October and not exactly warm out, plus it's getting dark, so... .so I went with an indoor picnic. I hope that's okay."

"It's um...yeah," Kurt says, but he refuses to get his hopes up and wonder what all this means, he just kicks off his shoes and throws his jacket on the couch. "It's good."

"My mom came today," Blaine says softly.

"Huh? She did?"

"Yeah. I uh... I called her, and um she...offered to come up."

"Why did you call her?"

"Because this thing between us is eating me alive, and I needed to...talk at someone, I guess. I didn't think that was fair to dad, so I called her."

"Great," Kurt says flatly. "So now she knows what a floozy her son has for a boyfriend."

"No, it's not like that at all. She doesn't know anything, only that you have a bit of a checkered history, but no details of what was said that night. I wouldn't ever sell you out like that."

"Hmm. Well, thank you, I guess," Kurt shrugs, and then he doesn't know what to say, because it's so awkward and uncomfortable that he just wants to turn tail and run.

"I'm sorry," Blaine is suddenly saying, taking another step closer and reaching for his hand. "I really am so incredibly sorry for the way I reacted, and the way I couldn't deal with any of it."

Kurt shrugs, looking down at their joined hands. "S'okay."

"No it's not, because you wanna know something I remembered? Way back, when I first met you, I remember thinking how sad it was that you didn't respect yourself, and all I wanted was for you to find someone who made you see how wonderful you are, even if that someone didn't turn out to be me. I mean, I wanted it to be me, obviously, but I just wanted you to know how brilliantly special you are, and just how much you're worth. Not only have I realized that is exactly how you make me feel, but I also realize that by freezing you out over something that happened way before we met, I'm basically saying that I don't respect the person you've become. And I do, really. I do respect you, and I love you and I cherish being with you every day of my life. You make me feel beautiful, Kurt, inside and out. My fantasy is you, because you make me feel so alive and so loved and safe... and you said I make you feel safe too, well this past week I haven't done that at all, I've made you feel worthless and ashamed, and I am really, truly sorry for that."

Kurt doesn't realize he's crying, until he blinks and two tears fall, but he gives a small nod and continues to stare down at their hands, until Blaine gently lifts his chin with one finger so they're eye to eye.

"What we have is always gonna be a million times better than anything you or I could ever have with anyone else," Blaine tells Kurt sincerely. "Even if it all ended right now, I'd never ever forget the way that you loved me, and the way you have given yourself so completely to this relationship. I don't know why or how I thought meaningless flings could ever compare, or that you would ever want that over what we have, but I know you, and I know that even though we are very different to one another, we both want this relationship more than anything else in our lives, right?"

"So right," Kurt whispers, blinking again. "So, so right."

"As for...other stuff, well, in quite possibly the most hellish conversation I have ever had to endure with my mom, she made me realize what I guess I've known all along, that sex is a million times better when it's with someone you love. I'm never going to experience a one night stand with a virtual stranger, and I'd never want to in order to compare, but when you tell me it's so much better with me, I believe you, because I know how your eyes shine, and I know that you kiss above my hip every time to make me laugh. I know that you really do relax and give yourself to me, to being with me, and I also know that for each of our firsts, you were just as nervous, if not more so, than me. Also, something I thought of this afternoon while I was out getting all this food, and something I should have realized from the start; you're a big mouth. If you weren't satisfied, you'd tell me about it."

"Ha!" Kurt laughs, and Blaine notices that his tears have stopped and his eyes are shining again. "Well there is that, I guess." He lets Blaine slide his hands to his waist, pulling him close.

"I love you, Kurt."

"I love you too, and thank you," he says, his arms draping over his shoulders to play with his curls. "For all you said. It was like...exactly the apology I needed to hear, and then some. But I need you to kiss me, please. I've been missing you so much."

Blaine leans close, closing his eyes and nuzzling his face against Kurt's cheek, breathing him in. When he speaks, his voice is low, soft with love and longing. "I might not be able to stop."

Kurt doesn't reply, just turns his head to let their lips graze together. Both sigh, and Blaine opens his eyes almost in surprise, as if he and Kurt had never kissed before, and then he surges forward, closing the small gap between them as his hands come up, one to slide into Kurt's hair, the other to splay across his back and draw him close.

He hears Kurt breathe in sharply through his nose, and then his small, soft growl of pleasure. Suddenly hungry with a desire he worried he would never feel again, Blaine dares to run his tongue along Kurt's lip, thrilled when he kisses back just as desperately, and sinks to his knees, bringing Blaine with him.

He doesn't stop there either, lying back on the soft blanket spread out on the floor, opening his legs for Blaine to slot between. "Why?" Blaine gasps, as their kiss breaks and he stares down at him. "Why did I ever stop kissing you? What was I thinking?"

Kurt bites one swollen, perfectly pink lip, and reaches up, his hand coming to the back of Blaine's neck. "Eh, you're a bit of an idiot sometimes."

"Yeah, thanks for that."

"Welcome," Kurt grins. "Now shut up and kiss me again."

Blaine eagerly claims his mouth again, kissing him hungrily, spurred on by the feel of Kurt growing hard against his thigh. His tongue pushes further into Kurt's mouth, seeking him out, demanding more, and then he remembers.

"Food!" he says, breaking away and panting hard. "Food. We should...food. Eat."

"We should." And really, Kurt does agree only...oh, then Blaine's hand distractedly arrives under his shirt, his strong smooth palm settling on his side, and Kurt suddenly forgets all about sustenance. "Or you could undress me? If you wanted to?"

"I could...I could do that," Blaine says with a shy grin. "Yeah. If that...yeah." He stops short of saying 'if that's okay with you,' because he can blatantly see that it is, and he leans in, kissing Kurt's lips softly. "I love you."

"I love you too," Kurt whispers, lying back down again and smiling, as Blaine lies next to him and starts on his buttons. "Are you okay?"

"I'm like...yeah." Blaine breaks off, giving a breathy laugh, as he studies Kurt in the candlelight. "Yeah, I'm more than okay. Thankful, that you're so forgiving."

"Meh, you never stopped loving me, you just needed to deal with some stuff, and that's okay. God knows you've had to wait me out on a few things before."

"I'm just...gonna kiss you again," Blaine says, but instead of heading for his lips, Blaine pushes Kurt's shirt open, and kisses a trail down his chest, coming to rest with his hands on his belt buckle.

"Maybe, when I'm undressed, I could turn my attentions to you?" Kurt asks flirtatiously, letting his finger trail along Blaine's jaw.

"Um...maybe..."

Kurt worries he's gone too far, and pushes himself up onto his elbows to look down at him. "No?"

"It's not that. It's um...I might be wearing your underwear."

"What?" Kurt cries, laughing in disbelief. He can see Blaine blushing in the dim light, as he kneels between his legs and looks down, rubbing the back of his neck. "Why the hell would you be wearing my underwear?"

"I um...I wanted to be close to you."

"Well you can't get much closer than that," Kurt laughs, but Blaine looks up with a silly grin.

"I think we're about to."

"Goofball," Kurt laughs, then leans up and kisses him tenderly. "I wanna see."

"What?"

"Stand up for me, and take your pants off. I wanna see you in my underwear. But you'd better not have stretched them."

Blaine stands and looks down at him, his hands paused on his fly. "Are you saying my ass is fat?"

"I'm saying your ass is glorious," Kurt teases, settling back on his elbows. "Now show me."

Rather than feeling nervous and on display, Blaine just feels hopelessly turned on by the loving way in which Kurt is looking at him. He quickly takes his bow tie and shirt off, then lowers his pants. He hadn't thought much of it this morning, when he pulled on a pair of Kurt's tight black boxer briefs, just that they were Kurt's, and he wanted to wear them for some inexplicable reason. He only chose a tight pair because that's the kind Kurt wears most often, but the way Kurt bites at his lower lip and his eyes rake over Blaine's body, makes him rather glad he did.

"Oh my god that's hot," Kurt whispers, and Blaine stays standing, looking down at him as his erection twitches in anticipation. "So hot."

"It wasn't supposed to be hot," Blaine tells him honestly. "It was supposed to be just me...and the underwear."

"You don't even know how hot you are," Kurt continues, his voice low and heavy with want. "And that just makes you hotter."

"Oh god," Blaine whispers, becoming more and more desperate. "Kurt..."

"Yeah?" Kurt gets to his knees, pulling his open shirt off and letting it fall behind him. "Is that okay? You like me telling you you're hot? Hot and beautiful, Blaine. So beautiful."

"I..." Blaine starts, but he forgets words entirely when Kurt comes closer, his hands grabbing the backs of his thighs, as he kneels on the floor and looks up at him. "Oh..."

"You want me to touch you, Blaine?"

"Yes," Blaine breathes, feeling like his legs could give out at any moment. "Yes." He cries out, when Kurt's hand runs over the front of the briefs, squeezing lightly. "Oh god Kurt, your hand...your... hand."

Eyes closed, head thrown back, Blaine looks so desperate for more, that Kurt has to bite back a loud moan. "Look at you," he whispers. "I love you, Blaine. This is so good, huh?"

"Yes," Blaine whimpers, gasping when Kurt dips one finger under the waistband.

"Look at how hard you're breathing," he whispers in awe, as Blaine's hands slide into his hair. "Can I suck you? Please? Will you come on my face?"

"Oh fuck!" Blaine cries loudly, when Kurt lowers the underwear and at last his aching cock is free. "Yes, but you should be warned that..." He breaks off when Kurt runs his tongue the entire length of him before sucking lightly on the head. "Close," he gasps. "Sorry...so close."

"Don't be sorry," Kurt says tenderly, nuzzling his face against his groin. "I want you to come. I want to feel it, hot and dripping on my face."

Blaine makes some kind of noise, possibly an attempt at Kurt's name, then grips his shoulders hard when Kurt takes him in his mouth again, deeper this time, his hands still tightly gripping his thighs.

Kurt pulls back and looks up. Blaine looks utterly wrecked, and all it takes is one jerk of his hand for Blaine to shoot hard all over his cheeks and lips, gasping his way through it, until he gives one big shudder and is still. "Fuck," he says quietly, still panting for breath. "Just...Jesus fuck."

"Sailor Blaine returns," Kurt laughs softly, and Blaine nearly dies all over again when he opens his eyes to see Kurt licking his lips, traces of white still on his chin. He kneels, running his finger through it and offering it to Kurt, who sucks it hungrily into his mouth before drawing Blaine into a hard kiss.

"Wait there," Blaine whispers against his lips, then scurries into the bedroom and returns with lube and a rather happy grin.

"What's that for?"

"Well." He settles back on the rug, pulling Kurt down to lie in his arms. "I thought maybe I could tease you a bit, until I'm ready to ride you."

"Oh my god, yes," Kurt says quickly, hurriedly unbuckling his pants and pulling them and his underwear off together.

"Okay. Uh..sit there," Blaine decides, not really having a clue how to proceed. "And close your eyes. Oh, and open your mouth."

Kurt does as he's told, which surprises Blaine, and he smiles when a strawberry is rubbed along his lower lip, before biting down hard. "S'good," he says through a mouthful of fruit, and Blaine leans in to kiss his lips.

"Uh-uh," Kurt says, pushing at his shoulder. He keeps his eyes closed but shakes his head. "That's not strawberries."

"I know but..."

"There's a whole bowlful over there, I saw them. Now gimme."

"Kurt," Blaine sighs, giving in and grabbing the bowl. "It's supposed to be romantic."

"Forget romance, I want food."

"Fine." Blaine laughs, and Kurt opens his eyes, happy that they are back at ease with one another.

"You love me."

"Mmm-hmm." Blaine pops another strawberry into his mouth, before taking one for himself. "Keep telling yourself that."

"Hey!"

"Wine?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"Have we really been just lying here naked for five hours?" Kurt asks in disbelief.

"Well not quite. You came home at six, my guess is by the time we had finished...y'know, or I had finished, it was maybe seven? And now it's eleven thirty, so...four and a half."

Kurt gives a quiet laugh, his head resting over Blaine's heart, as they lie on their backs and stare up at the ceiling.

"I was ready a while back, by the way," Blaine adds, and Kurt laughs again.

"I know, but then wine, and food...lovely food."

"That bread was nice."

"Too nice," Kurt agrees. "We need to buy that again. I still want to, by the way, in case you were wondering."

"Still want to buy bread?"

"Still want to have you ride me."

"Oh." Blaine shifts out from under Kurt, until he's hovering over him, propped on one elbow. "Bring it."

Kurt giggles, drawing Blaine down into a kiss, which is really just them laughing into one another's mouths, a combination of the shared bottle of wine and just the heady delight of being with one another again.

"This is why it's so much better, isn't it?" Blaine asks, moving to kiss along Kurt's jaw. "Because we can laugh and be silly and it's fun."

"That's part of it, yeah," Kurt agrees, and he flips them, holding Blaine's arms above his head. "Because this," he whispers, running his tongue along Blaine's hipbone, which makes him squirm and laugh, "Is wonderful, because before you, I'd never cared enough to find those places on anyone else. Because when things don't work out, when we haven't got the right angle or whatever, we can both laugh about it and it doesn't matter. I don't need to try and cover up any mistakes, because we make them as a team anyway, and yeah...we can be silly about it all, or serious or down and dirty, and each and every time is more perfect and wonderful than the time before."

He kisses a trail back up Blaine's chest, reaching up to lock their fingers together. "That, and you're my very best friend."

"I am?" Blaine asks, elated.

"Of course."

"It's good that you're mine too then, isn't it?"

"It really is," Kurt teases, his face gone soft with love and affection, as he settles on top of Blaine and kisses him deeply. "I love you so much."

"Hmm." Blaine smoothes his hands over Kurt's naked back, moving lower until he can squeeze the soft flesh of his ass. "You too."

"Do that again," Kurt murmurs, his eyes fluttering closed as he grinds down against Blaine.

"This?" he asks, squeezing, and Kurt nods, burying his head into the crook of Blaine's neck to kiss there.

Their arousal grows as they grind together, and press light kisses over each others bodies, until Kurt rolls onto his back and pulls Blaine on top of him. "Let me taste you," Blaine murmurs, already traveling lower, and Kurt gasps in pleasure at the first touch of his lips there, working over him, making him wet before taking him deep in his throat.

"Oh shit!" Kurt cries. He can already feel it, that familiar tight coil of heat building inside of him, but he bites it back down, not wanting it to be over. Blaine knows him so well, and that is yet another reason, Kurt realizes, but he can't formulate words right now, especially not when he looks down to see Blaine looking up at him, with a devilish gleam in his eyes, as he pulls off and runs his tongue into Kurt's slit to taste him. "Fuck it Blaine! You..I'm..." he pushes him away weakly, happy when he comes up to kiss his lips, giving a small laugh.

"What?" Blaine asks innocently.

"You know what. It was nearly all over when you did that."

"I know you like it."

"I do," Kurt confirms. "But I need more right now."

Blaine reaches for the lube but pauses, sitting astride Kurt and looking down at him. "I'm gonna do it to myself, and you can watch."

Kurt says nothing, just folds his arms behind his head to watch and see. Blaine gives a small nod, as if confirming to himself that he really can do this, and uncaps the lube, and that is when Kurt pushes himself up onto his elbows, taking the tube from him before sitting up properly with Blaine's legs wrapped around his waist. "No you're not," he says sweetly.

"What? Why?"

"Because you don't need to prove anything, Blaine. You've never done that before, and if you wanna put on a show for me sometime, then I'm never gonna complain, but right now? This is about me and you reconnecting, and I can tell that you're not really comfortable with the idea."

"I..." Blaine pauses, then gives a small shake of his head. "No, I'm not."

"I, however, am very comfortable with the thought of giving you pleasure with my fingers," Kurt says with a smile, as his hand trails backward, "and I think you are too."

"I do...oh, I do like that, yeah," Blaine gasps. "A lot."

He teases Blaine with his thumb, pressing and pushing until it slips gently inside, and then he uses his fingers, stretching, reaching, until he hits the spot and Blaine writhes on his hand, moaning loudly. "Your noises drive me crazy," Kurt admits, nipping at his neck. "To see you like this...fuck, Blaine, do you know how horny it makes me? Knowing I'm the only one who gets to ever see you like that?"

Blaine kisses him then pulls back, gently nudging Kurt until he's lying down. "Hmm," he says, as starts to sink down onto Kurt's cock. "About as horny as it makes me knowing that there will never be another for either of us."

Kurt's grin is dazzling, so happy and full of love, that Blaine just has to lean down and kiss him, slowly undulating on top of him until he can stand it no longer, and has to sit upright for Kurt to grip his thighs. They are sweaty, gasping for breath, and desperate to hit their orgasm together. Totally perfect, Blaine thinks to himself.

"Hell yes," Kurt gasps, lifting his hips off the floor, as Blaine rides him harder.

Blaine doesn't even realize he's spoken aloud, he just rests his hands over Kurt's, and continues to ride Kurt's cock like he was born for that purpose.

"I've gotta let go," Kurt cries, arching his back in pleasure. "Please come on me, Blaine, please!"

It's easy for Blaine to obey when Kurt's hand wraps around him and rapidly brings him to orgasm, and the second Kurt feels the evidence on his stomach he all but explodes, riding up with a loud yell as he releases over and over inside of Blaine, who stays upright for as long as he can before collapsing over Kurt's chest.

"Oh my..."

"God," Kurt finishes for him. "Holy shit that was hot."

A good half hour passes, maybe longer, but eventually Blaine moves, when Kurt has long since withdrawn, and he rolls onto his side, curling his naked body around a sated and satisfied Kurt. "Kurt?"

"Hmm?"

"Um...this might sound really silly, but are we good?"

"I'd say so," Kurt answers with a laugh, and he turns in Blaine's arms to face him. "Are you worried?"

"No. I just...I guess I thought we were going to end up talking this out for hours, but we didn't."

"Well, we can if you want, but for me? All I needed to hear was everything that you said, and like I told you, I missed you. I needed to be held in your arms. I needed to touch you, to kiss you...I want you to be good though, I need you to feel okay with it all."

"I do," Blaine says with a nod. "I really do. I mean, I was upset, and I know I freaked out on you, but I always knew one thing, and that was that I never wanted us to end. Breaking up with you was never an option. I think that's why I found it so hard. I love you endlessly."

"I know you do."

"I am so incredibly sorry, for hurting you. That was totally wrong."

"You know what? It's human nature to hurt others from time to time, whether it's intentional or not. That doesn't matter, it's how we work past it that counts, and I think..." he pauses, kissing the tip of Blaine's nose and cupping his cheek. "I think we've gotten over it just fine."