Disclaimer: I do not own Castle

Pulling on her sleeve for the tenth time that morning, she attempted to swallow the nerves that were bubbling from her chest. Her dad her texted her to confirm that he would be coming, two hours ago yet it still hadn't sunk in that in less than ten minutes he would be standing next to her. She wondered if he had changed at all, if he still had a thin stern face that he would use to intimidate his opponents, but would turn into a soft smile as soon as he came home. If the hair around his temples was still slowly turning grey each day? Or if he felt the same when he hugged her? She loved having a hug from her dad, it was like he could wrap her up and protect her from the world. She missed him, and as much as she was angry and confused about exactly what he had been doing for the past nine months, and as much as she needed answers, a hug from her dad couldn't go wrong right now.

She had considered calling him, telling him that maybe she wasn't ready. A part of her was still angry at her father for what he had done, or more specifically what he hadn't done. Nine months she had been gone. Nine long months of hoping that one day she would see her parents again. She'd imagined it too many times, the police rushing in, setting her free and she would run into her parents arms as they told her that it was finally over, that they had found her and that she was safe. She imagined how they would take her home and her mother would draw her a hot bath as her dad cooked a huge family meal before she would snuggle down in her own bed with her mom and dad each telling her stories to send her to sleep. Every time she had been upset when she was younger and they had done that, they were a family unit who looked after one another. Not a day passed when they didn't have breakfast together and spend time discussing trivial things and laughing about how Aunt Theresa was still attempting to find herself a boyfriend that would stick around for more than a month. It was all harmless of course, a morning giggle as they each waited for their day to really begin. It wasn't as if she blamed her parents for what happened. There was no way of knowing that she was in danger, but they were lawyers, and good ones at that but, the fact that they had done nothing to help her when she needed them the most saddened her more than anything. She wanted nothing more than to love her parents again, but was she ready to forgive them and move past this yet? She really didn't know.

Castle was with her, currently sitting on the chair across the room leaving the couch free for the family reunion that he expected would take some time. Kate had asked him to stay, once again feeling better that he was around. He didn't even have to speak, or even acknowledge that her father was there, but she wanted him to sit and be there none the less. His presence was like an anchor holding her still on choppy waters or in this case, anchoring her to the real world and not the scenarios and worst case situations she made up in her head. He made her feel safe and reminded her that she was no longer trapped and she no longer needed to be afraid.

The buzzer signalling that someone had arrived at the loft made Kate jump in her seat and her eyes instantly fell to Castle. Silently begging him to answer the door instead of her and save her from the pending awkward moment of stillness that was sure to follow as soon as she cast her eyes on her dad. She wanted to see him, she really did, but she was nowhere near ready to deal with the consequences of that meeting.

The sounds of Castle greeting her dad at the door drew her out of her trance but she didn't turn around. She hadn't heard his voice yet, it wouldn't be real until she heard his voice.

"Detective Castle" Jim replied, his voice laced with sleep and nerves. "Is she, here?"

At the sound of his voice the tension she had been holding inside of her snapped and her eyes began to sting, letting her know that any minute she could break down crying. He was here. He was really here.

"She's right there" Castle told Jim, inviting him in and closing the door softly. Kate hadn't made any move to turn around, far too scared that she was imagining this and as soon as she turned around he wouldn't be there anymore. "Kate. Your dad's here" Castle said from the other side of the room.

"Katie?" her dad's voice was soft, like he had waited years to ask that question, to see if it was really her sitting across the room from him.

She wanted to turn around. Every fibre in her being wanted to turn around and look her father in the eye. She wanted to see the simple things, like if he was still wearing the same trench coat that he always wore to work, or if he still had the same glasses and wore the same shoes that he always wore when they went out for family meals or special events. She sucked in her bottom lip, her teeth creasing her bottom lip as she bit back the tears.

Taking a shuddering breath she closed her eyes, twisting her torso towards the door and lifting her head over her shoulder she slowly opened her eyes. Her heart swelled at the sight of him, he was there, and he had come to her rescue. She froze for a moment, unable to fully comprehend what was happening, for so long she had dreamed of seeing him again, running into his arms as he told her it was all over and that everything was going to be ok.

"Why don't you go and sit down" Castle whispered to Jim, reaching out his arm to invite him further into the loft sensing that neither one of the rooms other two occupants would move for a while as they were in shock at seeing each other after months of separation.

Jim nodded mutely and slowly took a step further into the loft. He was weak, she could tell by the way he was stooped over slightly, clutching a small bag in his hands as he made his way over to the couch. Kate's eyes followed him eagerly, never drifting away from him as he sat down on the opposite side of the couch, leaving a good space between them.

"I. Katie" Jim sighed, "I've missed you so much"

"I missed you too dad" she couldn't hold back the tears any longer as they slipped down her cheeks.

Kate quickly reached across the couch and wrapped her arms around her dad's shoulders, embracing him in a hug she had longed to give him. Though hesitant at first, a feeling of being wrapped in her father's arms again soon calmed her . She could tell her dad was cautious, not hugging her back like he usually would, afraid that if he did he would hurt her. She clung onto him harder, pressing into him and remembering all the reasons why she loved her dad.

"You're really here" she mumbled into his jacket.

"I'm so sorry Kate" he apologized.

"I thought I'd never see you again"

"I thought I'd lost you forever" he was crying himself now, all thoughts of remaining strong her his daughter's sake were gone and replaced with the unconditional need to know that she was completely safe.

She was the first to pull away from the hug, swiping at her tears to steady herself again. Finally taking a proper look at the man sat opposite her. He looked almost as broken as she did, the difference being she wanted answers from him, whereas he was just happy to see her again.

"How are you?" he asked cautiously, seeing her grimace at the question, "sorry that was a stupid thing to ask" he chastised. "What I meant to ask was, well…" he sighed unable to find the words, "you'd think after all the scenarios I imagined seeing you again I would know what to say"

"I thought about seeing you everyday. Everyday I wanted you to walk through the door and find me. But you never did"

"We tried Katie, believe me, we did everything we could."

"Then why didn't you find me? Why didn't you pay the ransom?"

"Katie there was no ransom. What they wanted couldn't be paid with money"

"What did they want then?"

"It was to do with your mother. They wanted her to close her cases and stop working on them. She did, but then…" Jim looked to Castle, unsure if his daughter was aware what had happened to her mother. Castle nodded solemnly and Jim turned back to his daughter. "When your mother was killed, there was nothing more I could do. I received a message saying that we had failed and that we would never see you again." His tears returned as he pulled a well-used handkerchief out of his pocked. "I thought you were dead Kate, I'm so sorry."

"So you stopped looking for me?" she asked in disbelief.

"I thought I had lost you and your mother."

"So you just stopped looking?"

"Not at first. I tried to find out who these people were, I tried to follow the message they sent me, but it led nowhere. There was nothing else I could do. I never expected the call, I had resigned myself to believing that I had let both you and your mother down."s

"I always thought you would be there for me"

"I'm so sorry honey. I should have been. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish it was me they had taken instead of you"

"But it wasn't you they took, it was me."

"Katie I…"

"No" she interrupted. "No you can't sit there and tell me how sorry you are because you don't know what it was like" she exclaimed.

"Katie I can't know…"

"You're right you can't. You don't know what it feels like to think that every day is going to be your last. To wake up and not know what day or time it is and pray that someone will come in because you can't remember the last time you ate or drank anything and you're scared your body will shut down. No you don't know, so please don't try and pretend you do"

Jim looked awkwardly to Castle after Kate's small outburst. He expected her to be angry and had prepared for such in the best way he could.

"Maybe I should go" he sighed.

"And now you want to leave?" she whispered, the angry tones in her voice replaced by disbelief that he would walk out on her.

"I thought it might be best" he offered.

"Dad, I might be angry, but walking away is not going to help"

"Then tell me what I can do. I'll do anything to make this better"

"I don't know. I want you to be my dad again, but I'm so angry" she admitted.

"I know. You know you're just like your mother", he smiles slightly at the memory, but sees Kate confusion and resistance as he mentions her mother. Still unable to accept that she is gone forever it remains a sensitive topic. "We would argue and I would be the one to ask what I could do to make it better. I think the truth was I just wanted her to be happy. She was right, your mother. She would tell me that it was ok for her to be angry, and not want to speak to me, because it showed that she didn't really want to argue but she still cared enough to get mad. It's when you stop getting mad and stop feeling angry when you should worry, because it means that you have resigned yourself and you no longer care. Sure, she would be angry for a while, but then we would talk again, once the anger had gone."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying that right now you're angry, and you have every right to be. So, why don't I go now and come round next week and we can talk some more."

"I feel like you're trying to run away"

"I don't want to lose you Katie, you're my little girl and you always will be. And I will be here for you for as long as you need me. I just don't want to argue with you."

"Then let's not. Stay. Just for a little while, Rick makes great coffee"

Three hours later Kate was curled up in bed again. The talk with her dad had been steady after their initial meeting. Mostly they talked about how she was and how Castle had been looking after her. Castle had explained everything they had found out so far about the case and Kate had talked about her physical therapy sessions that she was looking forward to increasing. As much as she had enjoyed the talk, it had worn her out. She still found it difficult to completely consume herself in a task that took so much concentration for too long without feeling the fatigue begin to set in.

Castle was downstairs working in his office when he got the call. He'd been sat for almost an hour on the case notes Ryan had e-mailed him, but after reading the same sentences over and over it was beginning to become mind-numbing and the words were starting to jump up and swim around making him dizzy. With limited facts, lack of hard evidence and the main suspect still on the loose somewhere the case seemed to be going round in circles. If history repeated, it would continue until it finally ran out of steam and he would be forced to stop investigating and file this away as a cold case. Although this case was yet to be solved, murderers took no notice of that and kept on killing forcing them to solve those cases as well. It was unfair but it was just how things worked with the interest of one being sacrificed for the interest of many.

Ryan's number lighting up his phone screen drew him from his weary thoughts as he scrubbed a hand over his face and thumbed the screen to answer the call.

"Castle" he answered "What? You're sure about that?" Castle asked on the phone, "and it was definitely his card?" he finally sat up straight, grabbing a pen from his desk and writing down the information Ryan was giving him as fast as he could. "Ryan this is great. Ok, send a unit to that shop, get a description and see if we can put a trace on the card, if he used it once he might use it again. Ryan this might be the break we need. Let me know as soon as you hear something." Ending the call he scribbled down the additional information Ryan had conveyed.

Jonathan Landers's card had been used in the city, a drug store, probably to buy something to help with his shoulder injury. It was the lead they had been waiting for, he was on the move and out of hiding.

Kate! Was he coming for her? It had only been two weeks since they had rescued her, surely he wouldn't risk coming to find her so soon unless he thought that she was unprotected and vulnerable. Then now would be the perfect time to finish the job he was paid to do.

Castle wanted to tell her, he wanted her to be kept in the loop throughout the investigation, but telling her could push her recovery back, it could undo all that she had achieved in such a short amount of time. He battled with himself, convinced that by not telling her he was doing the right thing. He convinced himself he was saving her from the nightmares that would be sure to follow if she knew that one of her captors was loose in the city. She had physical therapy again in the morning, she had been looking forward to it all week. Every day she had done the exercises the hospital had taught her. Without fail every morning and night she was doing the daily routine. It was obvious that she was tiring herself out with the required stretches and movements that would push her body and make her weak for an hour after she had finished. He'd already warned her once about overdoing it, but it had fallen on deaf ears. If she was so determined to get physically well again without the knowledge that one of her captors was running loose in the city, he didn't want to imagine what she would be like if she knew the truth.

No, he wouldn't tell her. Not yet, not until they knew something more. If the description the shop owners gave matched that of Jonathan Landers then he would tell her, but there was no point in scaring her, if it turned out it wasn't him.

He would tell himself that until later that evening, when the call came to confirm it was indeed Jonathan Landers that had used the card. He was out and he was back in the city.

Once again thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed! Please let me know your thoughts, I love hearing what my readers think and what they think might happen! Thank you to everyone who read, added this to their favorites, followed and reviewed so far, it means so much that people are enjoying what I write.