"Hiccup, stop obsessing."

"I can't," he groaned. "This is worse than anything ever on here. Read these reviews! It makes it worse!"

"People…like…this?"

"THEY DO!" He cried. "I mean, the author does warn about content, and I was the moron who read it anyway, but if I see the phrases 'guilty pleasure' or 'so hot' ONE MORE TIME…"

"Hey, here's a flame," Astrid encouraged. "Ooh. A bad one. They call them sick and disgusting. Ooh, the author gets all defensive…"

"It is sick and disgusting," Hiccup muttered. "Burning it wouldn't do it justice. How can I destroy this in the most awful way?"

They spent a good two hours debating whether it should be feed a monstrous Nightmare, dissolved in hydrochloric acid, given a Viking burial…. The list went on.

"I want to go find this author and ask them how they'd like their dad raping them," Hiccup growled.

[You know who you are, if you're reading this.]

Hiccup was really getting concerned over how girly he was getting. He liked these Hicstrid fics too much. Toothless was so judging him. He started laughed every time Hiccup smiled at the page. "Shut up, you useless reptile," he muttered. Toothless grinned.

Astrid leaned against the doorway and smiled at him. "Any good?"

He looked up, smoothing his hair like he did when he was nervous. "Erm, yeah. Shut up, Toothless!"

Toothless rolled over, still smirking.

She slipped in and sat next to him. She said nothing; her head nestled onto his shoulder. He took his other hand and smoothed circles into her palm.

Okay, yeah, he liked the romantic stuff too much. Whatever.

He did have some issues with it though. He had to be careful what he read. He avoided anything rated M, because he loved Astrid too much have a panic attack every time she kissed him after reading…that. It took at least three days before she'd even hold his hand again after the scary rape fanfiction she read. (For the record, he is not a rapist. Okay? Just clearing that up.) And yeah, Vikings aren't….strict about…intimacy. His dad would kill him, but even if he did get Astrid pregnant (Gods forbid!), no problem. They'd get married, or if she hated him for the whole impregnating thing, the Vikings have a child support system. He might be a 16 year old guy, but that doesn't mean he's about to jump Astrid's bones. The closest Astrid's ever done to any jumping happened in a dream that messed him up for a few days and that Astrid will never find out about until she's already married him. The point is that they aren't at that level. He can't even read it without turning various reds/purples. The guys mess with him, but at least he has a girlfriend. Though fanfiction gives them plenty of OCs to choose from… maybe, one day, Tuffnut will move out and get married and make Ruffnut very happy, and Snoutlout will find someone who thinks he's as great as he makes himself out to be. Fishlegs—Fishlegs will definitely find a nice girl.

"Why do they always…expect me to fail at gym?" Hiccup wondered.

Snoutlout snickered. "Gee, maybe because you're a toothpick?"

"And the least athletic person I've ever met?" Tuffnut added.

"I remember when we used to play dodge ball," Ruffnut said dreamily. "And we'd all throw balls at him…"

"And when we'd race…"

"And kickball…"

They all sighed.

"Thanks, guys." He rolled his eyes. "Well, this is new. An OC based off the author."

Snoutlout whistled. "Fan club! Tell me, is she hot?"

"Snoutlout!" Hiccup protested.

"What? That's important stuff, cous."

"You pig," Ruff said reflectively.

Astrid made a face. "Why're you so pair-able?"

Hiccup shrugged. "You tell me." He whispered to Toothless: "Must be a good day. No one's getting hunted down—yet."

"Oh look, Astrid, we have a daughter now," Hiccup called.

"Huh?"

"Oh, Gods, when am I going to learn to think before I talk? DeviantART. Cafcow drew Kerr a sibling." He handed her the image.

"She's me with brown hair," Astrid marveled. '"Scout,'" she read. "Not my favorite name. Like her ax, though."

"Okay, I thought you'd appreciate this," Hiccup said with a grin. The picture was of two kids arguing, "My dad could beat your dad!" "My dad could beat your dad!" Kerr piped up with, "Yeah? My mom could beat both your dads!"

Astrid burst out laughing. "My favorite part," she chortled. "Is the look on your face when he says that!"

"Remember how we saw Fishlegs' and Ruffnuts' kids? Here's everyone's all together. Snoutlout's, Tuffnut's…"

"Tuffnut has twins? Seems fitting."

She started pluck through the piles herself. She found one called "How to Take Care for Your Blacksmith" and read it, trying to keep her flushing smile out of view. She put it in the save pile and allowed herself to look over at her blacksmith. Well, someone has to take care of him, and she's up for the challenge.

You guys have got to go to DA and check that last one out. It was so freaking cute.

Also, in my research, I was reading Getting Used to It and Life Afterwards. Both were great. The second had a few more adult chapters so my younger readers please don't read those chapters. I was also told Hero of the Day was very good, but I hadn't gotten around to reading it, I thought some 30 chapters of fanfiction was enough for one day. Let me know?

As always, ideas: bring me your favorites, your blood boilers, your minor annoyances, your thoughts. I want to get out at least one chapter in August if not two before I have to go back to school and actually do things other than fanfiction. *TEAR*

Review!