Chapter 11: And Then This Happened
In which Sia learns surprising and difficult things about Loki—and about herself.
Sunday was a quiet day. I focused on preparing lectures for the coming week, and Loki continued to work his way through my library. He focused solely on books that dealt with magic of any kind, and read at an incredible rate. I pulled Neil Gaiman's The House at the End of the Lane for him, along with the Tiffany Aching books from Terry Pratchett's Discworld series, as well as Tolkien and C.S. Lewis. He seemed content, curled up in the wing chair, drinking wine and reading as I worked.
I popped the lid back onto the take out container, and set it in the refrigerator. We had both been so absorbed in our respective pursuits that it was after 9:00 before we thought about food. We'd sent out, as I didn't feel like cooking (and wasn't sure Loki knew how), and neither of us felt like putting on shoes.
I went back to the living room to resume work to find that Loki had stoked the fire and moved the two wing chairs to face each other. He'd set the coffee table in between, on which was my antique silver 12-point candelabra, with all the candles lit.
"Sia, now that you are feeling better, I want to teach you some more magic."
I sat down in the wing chair, facing him.
"Fighting with magic is much like fighting with a sword, or a dagger. You need to focus your magic much as you focus the point of your blade on where you want to hit your opponent."
"Loki, I move candle flames. That hardly seems like enough magical energy to muster a proper attack."
"You can use your power to defend yourself, then. You will want to learn attacks, eventually. May you never need to use them—but if you do, I want them to be second nature to you. First, show me what you currently do. That will give me an idea of where to start."
I hadn't actually practiced with all 12 candles lit, but I told myself there was no time like the present to try something new.
I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing, falling into a meditation state.
I opened my eyes and raised my hands into what I thought of as my neutral position. Directing the energy with my hands, I began pulling the individual flames from the candles, combining them into one flame floating above the candelabra. The last two were tricky—I had never tried to manage that many at once—but managed to do so without setting the house on fire.
"Can you shape it, or move it?"
I focused on the triangle of flame, and carefully changed the shape to a sphere.
"Perfect!" Loki's delight in my progress gave me confidence. "Now, move it in a straight line towards me."
I imagined the sphere moving towards Loki. It drifted, slowly, like a balloon on a breezeless day.
Loki pushed it back to where it started. "Try again, only faster."
I frowned.
"You can't hurt me, Sia! I've been doing this a bit longer than you have." He laughed.
I was annoyed by his comment, and used my irritation to push the ball forward. I was surprised at how fast it moved, and tried, without success, to slow it.
Loki effortlessly deflected it upwards, and sent it back to its starting point.
"Again, faster."
I pushed again, and the ball of flame moved even faster. As before, Loki deflected it upwards, and returned it to its starting point.
"Keep going. Just aim it at me every time it comes back to you."
A few more rounds, and I was able to send it towards him almost as quickly as he returned it.
"Well done, my love!" Loki clapped his hands. "I don't want to exhaust you with this, though. Take it apart, back to the candles, and we'll call it good for tonight. Try using smaller gestures—you never know when you're going to need to do this on the sly."
I teased apart the flames, and sent each one back to a candle. I watched my hands, trying to make the movements less obvious. I was exhausted, and exhilarated.
Loki put out the candles with a wave of his hand. We stood, and he swept me into his arms. "Such hard work deserves a proper reward!" He picked me up, and bounded up the stairs to the bedroom.
The days passed quickly—teaching history during the day, learning magic at night. Loki assured me I was making good progress, and I was surprised at how easy he made it to learn. He had me practice simply by visualizing the energy from a cold start, rather than meditating and moving actual candle flame. As he pointed out, it was unlikely I would have time to stop, light candles, and meditate if I were in a situation where I needed to defend myself. It was harder without the flame to focus on, but Loki was a patient and thorough instructor. I felt like I was starting all over, and wasn't making much progress. I was nowhere close enough to launch an attack, or even defend myself, but part of me hoped that would never be necessary. Still, I was excited to learn new ways to work with my magic, and Loki's delight when I did something new was wonderful to see.
Sharing our days and nights was sweet, even with the demands of my schedule. I tried not to think about the fact that his time on Midgard was limited.
I had become accustomed to the SHIELD presence without too much trouble, and even the minor production number that leaving the house required became seamless. Loki seemed almost not to notice either of these things, but then again, he had grown up in a palace with guards everywhere.
My first class on Thursday wasn't until the afternoon, so I held office hours to meet with my students individually in the morning. I called SHIELD to give them the required ten minutes of notice that I was ready to leave the house.
Agent Stewart answered. "Thanks, Professor. Agent Miller will ring the bell in exactly nine minutes. The code word is 'radicchio'."
"Got it. 'Radicchio'."
Eight minutes later, the bell rang. Loki headed down the stairs to the main door as I answered the intercom.
"Professor, it's Agent Miller. Radish." The voice didn't sound like Agent Miller. Close, but not quite.
I hit the intercom button. "I'm sorry, Agent, what was that?"
"Agent Miller here. Radish." That voice was definitely not Agent Miller.
I shook my head at Loki, who paused where he stood on the stairs. I hit the blue panic button to activate the silent alarm. Maybe Agent Miller was confused between radish and radicchio, but I was not going to be undone by a mispronounced vegetable.
Loki smiled, and calmly proceeded to the door. I watched from the stop of the stairs as he opened the door.
The person at the door was most definitely not a SHIELD agent. Dressed in a plaid work shirt and jeans, he was clearly trying to pass himself off as a tradesman. That was his first mistake.
Agent Stewart yelled though my phone. "Get away from the door!"
I heard gunfire coming from outside. I dropped to the floor, eyes still glued to Loki.
The man in the work shirt charged Loki. That was his second mistake.
Faster almost than I could see, Loki reached forward and grabbed the man's neck. With no apparent effort, Loki flicked his wrist, and the sickening crunch of snapping bones came up the stairs. The man went limp. Loki opened his hand, and the man fell to the floor.
A second man was now visible, also dressed in trade wear. He looked at Loki, and down at his dead companion. Eyes wide with terror, he started to back away, Loki following him, matching him step by slow step.
"Freeze! Hands in the air!" That sounded like Agent Miller.
The man spun and saw the circle of SHIELD agents, guns drawn, blocking his exit.
He looked back at Loki, and again at the agents.
"Hail, Hydra!" He yelled, and then collapsed. The agents rushed forward.
Loki bounded up the stairs. Seeing me on the floor, he sat next to me, and pulled me onto his lap.
Agent Stewart was right behind him.
"Sia. You're alright." Loki's voice was low and soothing, echoing in my nerves.
I was too frightened to speak, and too shocked to cry.
I sat in Loki's arms, shaking with a kind of cold I could not describe.
"Sia, you're safe. I'm here. No one can hurt you."
They were coming to kill me. To kill Loki.
"Professor, are you alright?" Agent Stewart's voice broke through my shock.
I nodded.
I just saw a man die.
Loki's voice was completely calm. "Sia will be fine, Agent. Thank you for your concern."
I just saw Loki kill a man.
"Do you need a doctor?" Agent Stewart's tone was crisp and professional.
Without trying. As easily as I would drop a hat.
I shook my head.
"Okay, I'll leave you alone for a bit. We're going to figure out what happened."
I nodded.
"I promise, it won't happen again, Professor. I'm sorry."
I nodded.
"Will you want to go to work later?"
I nodded.
"Just call, Professor. Whatever you need." Agent Stewart nodded, and backed slowly down the stairs. I heard the door lock behind him.
"Sia, my love. Let's get you someplace more comfortable."
Without any effort, Loki rose, still holding me, and carried me to the living room. He settled onto the couch, keeping me on his lap. He stroked my hair, and held me.
"You are fine, Sia. You are safe."
I was numb, and at the same time, buzzing from the adrenaline.
Loki continued stroking my hair.
"You are fine, Sia. You are safe."
I began to relax, to sink into Loki's arms, to let his words sink into my mind.
Loki continued stroking my hair.
"You are fine, Sia. You are safe."
Even as I could feel the adrenaline subsiding, I could not stop shaking.
Loki continued stroking my hair.
"You are fine, Sia. You are safe."
I started to cry.
Loki continued stroking my hair.
"You are fine, Sia. You are safe."
"Loki, they were going to kill me, weren't they?"
"No, my love. I would not have let them. I did not let them. One has paid for his foolishness, and the other will pay in ways that will make him wish he had followed his fellow."
Loki continued stroking my hair.
"You are fine, Sia. You are safe."
"Loki, I—" I continued to cry. How could I explain that what he had done to keep me safe made me feel even less safe? Not that I feared him, but that he could so easily and casually kill someone terrified me.
Loki continued stroking my hair.
"You are fine, Sia. You are safe."
But isn't that what police do? What SHIELD does? Kill the bad guys who are trying to kill innocent people?
Loki continued stroking my hair.
"You are fine, Sia. You are safe."
He would have killed us without a second thought. He deserved to die.
"You are fine, Sia. You are safe."
Oh, my god, Sia. How could you say that?
"Loki." I could not articulate my feelings, and my thoughts were flying through my brain faster than I could properly think them.
Loki continued stroking my hair.
"You are fine, Sia. You are safe."
"Loki—" I abandoned myself to sobbing, curled up against his chest.
I blinked, and tried to figure out why I was waking up on Loki's lap on the couch.
Loki sensed I was awake. He began stroking my hair.
"You are fine, Sia. You are safe."
I remembered what had happened when we tried to leave the house earlier.
.God.
Loki continued stroking my hair.
"You are fine, Sia. You are safe."
"Loki, what time is it?" I was worried about missing today's lectures. I knew I had missed office hours, but I would not miss giving my classes.
"It's just after twelve, my love."
He continued stroking my hair.
"I should get going. Class is at 1:30."
"Are you up for it, Sia? No one will be upset if you cancel."
My anger exploded. Anger at my life being turned upside down, at having to have security, at everything. "I have to go, Loki! I need to go! I need my life to be as normal as possible, in spite of the fact that it is anything but normal. I am going to teach today. And tomorrow. Every day that I am scheduled, I am leaving this house and going to teach."
Loki kissed me joyfully. "That's my Sia! I am so proud of you. You are braver than you realize, my darling."
"I'm not brave, Loki. I just can't let fear rule my life."
He kissed me again. "That is being brave, my love."
