Disclaimer: I do not own Mirkwood, Legolas, Orcs, Gollum, or any other thing that J. R. R. Tolkien himself created.
Like it says in the summary, this story will have Silmarillion references. You'll still be able to read the story even if you haven't read that book (I'm not even done with it…) 'cause I'll lightly go over the story that people should know when it comes time to that. Don't let that make you stop reading, okay? Please?
For those who do not know (have not read the books, basically—a sin against mankind!) Mithrandir = Gandalf.
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Gandalf listened quietly as Thranduil's son screamed out his nightmarish thoughts to the oncoming dusk. Legolas was still asleep, yet his eyes were closed in horror. His words brought fear to the Istar's heart. They spoke of betrayal and confusion; of not being an Elf. The old wizard knew something was terribly wrong, because it would take a lot to persuade an Elf that he was not one, yet Legolas seemed so convinced. The prince spoke of deserving to die, and sobbed apologies to Echiril more than once. Gandalf thought of waking him, but decided it would be better to hear the blonde's words and figure out what was going on.
Legolas lay curled up on his side, eyes shut tightly and fingers entangled in his short hair. "Nín neitha cared…nín neitha cared!" he cried in his native language. "Díhena nin, Echiril! Im al Calben…Im garo an gwanna…" (My fault…my fault! Forgive me, Echiril! I am no Elf…I have to die…)
The Grey Wizard watched as Legolas's face contorted in grief and agony, then jumped up as the Elf reached one hand towards his wrist, digging his nails into the flesh, creating open wounds. Gandalf ran over to the prince and shook him violently, grabbing the hand that sought to take its own life. "Legolas! Legolas!"
The archer awoke with a cry of fear and looked around him wildly, then met Gandalf's stern gaze and relaxed slightly, still breathing hard, covered in sweat. He noticed that the wizard was holding his hand tightly, and looked up at it, then paled to see the blood that covered his fingernails. "What…?" he asked in a daze, then looked over to his other hand, where small slits had been made in his wrist that were now bleeding rapidly. "I think that we should take care of that," said Gandalf firmly, before reaching over to Legolas and untying the bit of robe that he had placed on his torso to cover the brand. The Istar took the robe in his hands and wrapped it around the Elf's paling arm and tied it tightly, causing Legolas to wince. The bleeding slowed immediately after, but Gandalf still worried about blood loss.
Legolas swallowed the gag that rose in his throat when he thought about what he nearly had done. He had tried to kill himself! And all because of a dream—was it a dream? The Elf was so confused he could hardly remember now what had really happened that day of the battle, save him falling into Echiril and making him vulnerable to attack. "Gandalf," he started. "I—"
"I don't want to hear it, Legolas. What I want to know is exactly what happened the day of that battle, and anything that has bothered you besides Echiril's death."
Legolas looked about himself helplessly, then reached up and ran his fingers through his short, blonde locks. "I can't remember," he said with a sigh, then jumped slightly in shock when Gandalf suddenly came forward and grabbed his shoulders and forced the Elf to meet his eyes. The wizard put his face close to the Elf's. "Tell me! I know you can recall those memories somehow! Now tell me!"
The prince lowered his eyes away from Gandalf's glare, and they moved back and forth rapidly as he tried to think, tried to find memories he swore he didn't have. "Echiril and I…were standing back to back…and I slipped…and knocked him over." Legolas looked up weakly. "That is all I can remember," he said in a wavering voice.
"No it's not Legolas! You are an Elf and are not prone to slip like a mere Dwarf would!" Gandalf brought the word "Dwarf" into use in hopes of making Legolas feel proud of his race; they despised the Dwarves with a passion.
The archer shook his head warily. "Then I must be of Dwarf kind…" he whispered. "For no Elf would have fallen…"
Gandalf stared at his old friend in shock for a minute. He never thought he would live to see the day when an Elf would willingly call himself a Dwarf, especially Thranduil's son! And that was saying quite a lot; Gandalf was immortal. He shook his head to clear it for a moment, then turned to the shame-faced Legolas. So here is the problem…he blames himself for falling, and believes that he cannot be an Elf any longer. The Istar had suspected as much, but certainly not to the point that Legolas seemed to have taken it. "Legolas, has there been anything else since you got here that has troubled you?"
The Elf opened his mouth to say "no" again to the question, but then stopped and surveyed his bleeding wrist. "Yes…" he said hesitantly.
"What is it?"
"A voice…in my head…"
Gandalf almost smiled. Here was the problem…and now he could probably talk to Legolas and convince him that he wasn't to blame for Echiril's death. The Istar knew how to fight those voices, and once he showed Legolas, the prince would be much better off. "Whose voice?"
"Mine, Mithrandir."
The old wizard drew a long breath then let it out slowly. "No, Legolas. It is not your own."
The Elf looked up sharply with a furious look upon his face. "Then whom would it belong to?" he hissed. "Do you think me weak enough to allow others to invade my mind?"
Gandalf held up his hands to show he meant no harm, recognizing that the situation could get far out of hand very quickly. "No, Legolas, I do not, would never, think that. But!" he hurried on to stop the prince's furious protests. "You have been emotionally scarred by Echiril's death, and Saruman found you an easy target to convince. The voice is more certainly not your own, Legolas. It is Saruman's and he is only trying to trick you. To do such a thing makes you easier to…become an Orc."
Legolas looked away from the Istar with disbelief on his face. Could he have been wrong? Could the voice really not have been of his own making? It was true…that Echiril dying had weakened him. Perhaps the old wizard was right…
"I will think about it, Mithrandir," the archer said shortly, before slowly standing to his feet and walked—stumbling and tripping—over to the other side of the platform.
Gandalf sighed. He knew that Legolas would need to think about this for a long time, so he went over to the pillar opposite to the one Legolas sat by and lay down by it, using it as a sort of protection against the wind. As his thoughts started to wander, the wizard was brought back sharply to Arda (Middle Earth) when a faint rustling noise on the wind caught his attention. On instinct, the Istar shot out his hand, and when he brought it back to examine the contents, there was a large moth trapped within his fingers. Gandalf's eyes lit up with hope, and he gave some hurried instructions for the little creature to go find Gwahir, the Eagle Lord. Perhaps here was the escape he had hoped for! The wizard looked over at Legolas, thinking to tell him of the good news, but decided against it when the sound of the Elf weeping reached his ears. He suspected that the prince had a lot of thinking to do, and most of it would be painful, revolving around the death of his closest friend.
Gandalf had known the two for hundreds of years, and knew them to have been an inseparable pair. Echiril had started out as nothing more than Legolas's archery instructor, and ended up as his closest and most trusted companion. The two had faced many dangers together, many of them being near-death experiences as Mirkwood's boundaries were infested with the giant spiders and other foul beasts, including Orcs. The two had watched their people suffer together, captured to be tortured into new Orcs; Orcs that came back and then enslaved more Elves. Yet the two had been such an incredible team that they had made it through all such attacks safely. Yes, Gandalf knew, Echiril's death would indeed be hard on the prince.
Thranduil found himself almost happy as he urged his exhausted horse forward. He would reach Rivendell several days before he thought he would have been able to. Of course, he had hardly slept, hardly eaten, and only stopped when he felt his horse might collapse underneath him. He would be in Rivendell by the next night. "Legolas," he whispered, "I swear I will not give up until I know your fate."
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Eep…sorry that took so long. Fanfiction.net is giving me problems with uploading and reviewing and looking at other stories and—get this—even had the nerve to tell me my bio and story don't exist. *grumbles about faulty software and the like* But you really can't blame them too much…I mean, look at how much stuff they have on here!
And in about…four days updates will become less frequent. See, I started this while on a two week vacation away from school, which gave me a lot of time to write and the like, but on Monday when I get back, that begins the Finals week and that means study study study! So don't be alarmed when updates don't come as often for a couple weeks.
Reviews (I hope I get everyone…I'm not sure if fanfiction.net is showing me all of them…if I skip you, I'm sorry!):
Kage: Lol, I didn't expect it either. I kinda didn't realize I had it until I read what I had written. Have any of you experienced that? A sort of…trance like state where you write without realizing it?
Valimarit: I actually tried to make the ear thing as real as I could. See…I like seafood a lot, right? And tiny squid are a personal favorite…so I just kinda wrote how it feels to eat one of those.\
Kaimelieamin: I don't mean to torture my readers, honest! Just Legolas! And sorry about the long update on this chapter as well…this site is giving me headaches. And oh…*evil chuckle* I bet I could make Legolas attractive in death if I really tried. Not sure if I will with this fic, though.
Anonymous Review: (I learned how to spell "anonymous" because of you, lol, thanks!) Don't worry, I'll get to severe emotional torture soon enough…within the next five chapters, most likely.
ZeroCool: Stop…torturing him? Erm…never. And you have to read to find out if I'll kill him or not. And of course the Fellowship will be formed…it just may not have our dear Elf prince within its ranks. But who knows? Maybe it will.
YunaDax: Heh, sorry about making you feel nauseous. Hope this chapter was somewhat of a break from all of that type of stuff.
Rose: Turning him into an Orc would be worse? Really? *thinks* Hmm…;);)
Allyson Potter: Yeah, they were cool. I loved his ears. But I guess that they're still pointed, in a way…just…not at the same angle. I mean, picture the top of an ear getting sliced off cleanly, leaving a straight line. There's still a point…it's just not…as good? Heh…
Emmithar: Oh, he'll heal physically if he gets away.
Szhismine: Whoa…how do you pronounce your name?? Lol. Did I really turn into Saruman? *blushes* Why, thank you for the compliment! And what are those other two Lord of the Rings stories? I'd like to read them sometime…I'm always open to new fics, people. I have so many of them…it's not even funny. And hey—tell me when your fic is up! I'd love to take a look at it.
Forever Unstoppable: Hmm…Echiril coming back in a dream? Interesting concept…*mind starts to plot many many angsty plots for Legolas* And I'm honored that you feel I deserve a review! *bow* Thank you!
Lanfear: Yes, wasn't it though? And lol! Why would you get your arms slowly ripped off??
LegolasLover2003: Oh, congrats on graduating! Hee…a cute and loveable Legolas Orc…can you picture it? But anyways…yes, I am evil to Legolas. Very much so.
SSJ Girl: You don't think it's lame? *happy* And no…I'm not almost finished. I'm only beginning, I hope.
Elen Dumir: Heeeee…he has a lot more to go through! Hope you enjoyed chapter 11, though.
Salak: Icky is right. Just like the first time I tried squid was icky…but I love it now.
Lea of Mirkwood: Ear? Yes, ear. Now he's missing both of them! Yes, I know. I'm sick and twisted and sadistic.
Again, sorry this took so long to upload.