A/N: This is my favorite chapter so far. A little backstory on this...I tend to get inspiration from really random moments. At my college, it rains a whole hell of a lot for some reason, and I was walking through the quad in the rain and saw the beauty it had, like dripping from the trees. I don't know, it was just like a lightning bolt. And this chapter came about like 2 minutes afterward. Enjoy.
Chapter 11: A Beautiful Disaster
He's magic and myth
As strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
But do I try to change him
It's so hard not to blame him…
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster?
"Beautiful Disaster," Kelly Clarkson
I watched the rain fall, crying for me, crying for the crime I had committed.
I felt empty.
I took a man's life and with that, took my own humanity.
The rain looked like merciless drops of blood, blurring together through my eyes. The sharp drops thudded angrily at my umbrella as if they were trying to rip it apart at the seams. Trying to reach me, to punish me, to show me that they knew what I had done.
I saw myself in the glass of the building, in my costume, the red and black jester alone in her world of sadness. How ironic. My hat, attached to the costume, was pulled down, revealing my mass of straight blonde hair, mussed from the polyester fabric of the hood.
I halted. I saw myself as I was. Who I was now.
The unforgiving rain pelted me even harder, asking,
Who are you?
Are you Harleen Quinzel?
…or are you Harley Quinn?
Each drop hit me.
Choose, choose, choose.
And the pathetic part about it was that I couldn't.
…
Then I saw him coming toward me, my beautiful disaster of a lover, face twisted into his trademark grin. How could I deny what I had become?
"You did great in there." He said.
He clearly didn't care that the rain was falling on him in droves, drenching his clothes and causing his face make-up to run, "I was getting nervous for a minute. I thought you were going to take off on me."
I continued to stare at my reflection, unaffected by his words.
"Harley?" he moved closer to me, "Earth to Harley? What's the matter with you?"
"Oh, whatever could be the matter?" My voice was strangled, fervently trying to hide my tears, "Nothing is the matter."
"I really doubt it's nothing." He grabbed me, pulling me into his embrace. I flinched at the cold, soaking fabric of his suit, but dropped my umbrella onto the sidewalk, letting the rain finally hit me for all it was worth.
"Tell me." He demanded.
"I'm becoming you." I began to cry, hoping he couldn't tell because of the rain.
"You act like it's a bad thing." He said, smirking a little.
"God damn it, like I want to become a criminal!" I exclaimed, shoving him away, "You made me kill a man today! I hate being this! I'm like your god damn puppet that you jerk around for fun and then throw away when you're bored with it! I hate being what you want me to be and losing myself in the process!"
"Harley…"
"No!" I turned away, "Just leave me alone. Just fucking go. I'll see you back at the warehouse. I need some time to think."
I ran, leaving him standing there. The last thing I saw was his face, cleansed from the rain, staring after me. And I swore I could see his own tears.
…