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Leaning against the wall outside of the greenhouses Remus stared into the sky as he waited. He had two free periods after lunch and was hoping that he could spend some time with Spencer during some of that time.
In the few months that he had been here he hadn't been able to spend much time with the young woman. She had been busy trying to spend time with the Hufflepuff students, the Herbology students, and her nephew.
Remus could tell that it was wearing her thin trying to keep a handle on everything. It was something that he hated seeing happen to her. Especially knowing that she was keeping it to herself.
Over the years he had been the only person that she told whenever she questioned her relationship with Severus. He had spent more than a few hours simply listening to her as she spoke of all her fears.
She never willingly went to him to talk though. Spencer wasn't the type of person to open up even when she needed to. It was one of the things that had run through the Potter blood.
The Gryffindor was just glad that she was easier to get through to than James had ever been. That was mostly because James would talk in a circle while Spencer would finally tell the whole story the first time.
He shut his eyes at that. No matter how many times he thought about his friend it still hurt. He wished more than anything that he could at least think of his friends without having his heart ache.
That was never going to happen though. Not with the way that their lives had progressed. Their deaths and their incarceration. There were too many bad thoughts that covered the good now.
He did try to think of them in a good light. That light, more often than not, came in the form of Spencer. She was able to remind him of the best parts of his friends that he had lost many years ago.
When he had first met the young woman he had no idea what he was supposed to think of her. She was like no one he had ever met, but she had quickly became one of the closest friends he had.
In the end she was the one person that had stayed in his life and refused to leave. She was the type of person that hated to walk away so whenever those thoughts came to her mind they broke her heart.
Sadly, she had them come into her mind more often than either of them would have liked. That's what happened when you were lovers or even true friends with a man like Severus Snape.
Don't get him wrong. Remus didn't care one way or the other about the Slytherin. As long as he never harmed the woman than there was no reason for him to even really interact with the man.
It was easier for both of the men if they didn't spend much time together. They were friendly because of Spencer and they wanted to keep it that way. Not being around each other was the best way to do so.
As Remus thought of this students started to walk out of the greenhouse. Offering them a nod he waited until the last students came out before making his way into the classroom silently.
Spencer was organizing her desk her back tense letting the older man know that there truly was something wrong with her. Letting out a sigh he hoped that he was going to be able to help the woman.
Walking up to her the Gryffindor placed a hand on her shoulder causing her to stop. Her movements were slow as she turned to face Remus her eyes completely blank for a quiet moment.
Opening his arms Remus let the Hufflepuff bury herself against his chest her shoulders already beginning to shake. Closing his eyes he rubbed a hand over her back waiting as she calmed herself down.
"Remus," Spencer whispered pulling away slightly.
"I know," the older man spoke back brushing tears off her face, "Your mind is getting away from yourself."
"It is. I hate it so much sometimes. It keeps twisting my thoughts and making them into something that I can barely recognize. They end up terrifying me."
"Why?"
"Because...Because I don't know if they're true anymore."
Silently Remus waited for the younger woman to continue. He knew exactly where she was going with this, but he knew that she had to get the words out in her own time or else she never would.
"I love Severus will all my heart, Remus," Spencer turned and started to pace, "I love him so much."
"I know you do," Remus nodded.
"I just hate this. I hate how I can't be with him out of fear."
"We need the information that only he can provide."
"Of course! Because the information that someone can provide is so much more important than the actual person. Who someone is can easily be pushed aside as long as they provide some kind of use for the bigger picture!"
Hearing desperation coming into the young woman's voice Remus moved to her side and wrapped his arms around her. A soft sigh came from her lips as she clutched at the back of his shirt.
"Everything will work out," the Gryffindor spoke rubbing her back.
"Will it?" Spencer said her voice muffled by his shirt, "I don't know what to do anymore, Remus. I hate feeling as if I have to fight what my instincts are saying and what has to be done."
"What do your instincts say?"
"They tell me to run. To take Harry and Severus and leave. They've both been through too much already."
"You can't though."
"I know I can't, but that changes nothing. I should have been strong enough."
"Strong enough to do what?"
"To say no to Dumbledore. To take Harry after James and Lily died. To stop Severus from joining Voldemort. To just...I feel like I let them all down."
Carding a hand through the Hufflepuff's hair Remus let out a soft sigh. He waited a moment trying to figure out what to say next when an idea came into his head that was just too good to pass up.
He pulled away from Spencer and placed a hand on her back before leading her out of the greenhouse. The woman didn't bother questioning the older man as they walked trusting in Remus to keep her safe.
They walked in silence through the castle before coming to a stop by the kitchens. Rolling her eyes slightly Spencer watched as Remus opened the door and lead her into the large area.
"May we get some coffee ice cream, please?" Remus requested causing the young woman to smile.
"Remus..." Spencer started.
"There's nothing you can do now, Spencer. What was done in the past is done. Harry is okay. And so is Severus."
"For how long?"
"Less time than you. More time than you. No one knows. There's no point in trying to answer that question."
"I can't stop thinking that this would all be going differently if I had..."
"Stop. There is no point in what if's. They'll drive you crazy and possibly even stop you from doing what needs to be done in the future."
Spencer opened her mouth to continue only to stop when a bowl of ice cream appeared in front of them. Smiling down at the House Elf she took the bowl and stared at her favorite ice cream with a sad smile.
"You're not going to run," Remus said taking a bite of ice cream.
"Of course not," Spencer answered taking a deep breath, "That doesn't mean I don't want to take my family and protect them."
"Sometimes the worse thing you can do for someone is protect them. You know that as well as anyone, Spencer. Don't make the same mistake your brother did."