Ahh, here we are. The chapter that all of you have been waiting for. Because of that, my only note is thank you to my reviewers and hope you enjoy.
P.S: My laptop still is not being nice; with that, all the remaining chapters have to be retyped on another computer. What I'm saying is, updates may not be in a neat schedual for the rest of the story. I hope you can bear with me.
So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too
~"Daughters" by John Mayer
As Tony turned the sheets down one night, his eyes caught the picture on the nightstand. It was one of himself and Maria, taken on their wedding day. Tony couldn't help but smile when he thought of how future pictures would have three people in them.
"Soon we will need a new picture for in there."
Tony turned around and smiled at Maria. With one hand over her stomach, Maria picked up the picture and slowly at down on the bed.
"All this time waiting."
"I feel the same way," Tony said. "Hopefully we won't mess the poor kid up too badly."
Maria gave Tony a good-natured shove. "I thought you said that we were going to be great parents."
"Yeah, but that was two months ago; it's different now."
Both Tony and Maria looked to the corner of their room. The dresser hade been moved over a few inches, and a crib stood in its previous spot. Maria's blanket was neatly folded over the side just waiting to be put to good use.
"Well, I think we are more than ready; I know I am," Maria said as she watched Tony roll up his shirt and shove it into a drawer. "My feet hurt, my back hurts, my..."
"And it's all for the baby, remember?" Tony sarcastically reminded her. After Tony crawled into bed next to her, he kissed Maria's cheek. "I love you." He then placed a hand on her stomach. "I love both of you."
Maria smiled. "We love you too." As Tony leaned across Maria to turn off the bedside lamp, Maria quickly dropped her hands to her stomach.
"You okay?"
Maria shrugged. "Yes. The doctor told me the baby would not move as much now, but all evening..." Maria trailed off.
"All evening what?"
Maria looked at Tony and smiled; she didn't want to worry him. "But all evening I have been feeling...her move." Her. For some reason Maria felt right saying that.
"Maria I wouldn't worry too much; I'm sure the baby is just ready to get here too."
After turning over on her side (the only comfortable way Maria could sleep now) and Tony wraped his arms around her, she let Tony's words lull her to sleep.
~.~
Maria sat up in bed. A sharp pain rushing through her stomach had woken her from sleep. She reached a hand out to Tony and gently shook his shoulder.
"Tony?"
After a few minutes, Tony slowly lifted his head from the pillow. "Yeah?"
"Tony...I think...I think we need to go."
"What?" Tony asked, still half asleep and not quite understanding what Maria meant.
"I mean..." Maria winced, quickly reaching for Tony's hand. "We need to go to the..."
Now Tony understood. "Are you sure?"
"Yes," Maria squeezed Tony's hand tighter, "I am sure.
Tony nervously gripped the steering wheel; Carol had reluctantly let him borrow her car, under the condidtion that he'd bring it back in one piece. Occasionally, Tony would glance over to the passanger seat where Maria was seated. She had her head rested on the window, her eyes focusing on the road. Every now and then she'd let out a little sigh. Tony placed a hand on her knee.
"Don't worry; we're almost there," he said as he began to pull his hand away. Maria, however, had another idea. She took Tony's hand in her own clammy one.
"Tony I am scared."
"What are you scared for?" Tony asked, trying to hide his own fear.
Maria winced once again, her free hand falling to her stomach. "Everything," she said with complete honesty.
"Aw come on; for the past few weeks you couldn't wait for the baby to get here."
Maria sort of smiled. "Yes, but then I did not know...that..." She paused and squeezed Tony's hand tighter. "Tony, you are not allowed...to be with..with me when..."
"Maria, you're going to be fine."
"But what if I need you?"
Tony glanced over at Maria. Her eyes were wide and full of raw fear.
"Maria, you can do this." He paused, and squeezed Maria's hand tighter. "Aren't you the one who taught me that God never hands us things He knows we can't handle?"
"Yes, but..."
"Maria, you'll be fine. You're going to be fine, and so will our..."
"Daughter," Maria said in a quick breath before she winced again. Tony smiled.
"Yeah; she will."
When Tony and Maria reached the hospital, Maria was quickly seatd in a wheelchair. As she was whisked down the hall, Maria turned her head and stole a final glance of Tony. His eyes had been wide, and he had mouthed "I love you." Maria had just nodded and turned back around.
Now, Maria was in a sterile, whitewashed room, longing for somebody, anybody to tell her everything was going to be okay. Most of all she wanted Tony, not the nurse and doctor whose words of "comfort" came in the form of things like, "It won't be too much longer"or things that were laced with medical terms Maria didn't understand. And the pain she was in wasn't helping either.
Maria screwed her eyes shut and let her head fall back onto the pillow. She blocked out the doctor and nurse's conversation, not even caring if one of them asked her something. she just wanted all of this - the pain, the confusion, the fear to be over. But the was eaiser said than done. She felt someone grab her hand, and then heard the doctor ask her something.
"Okay Maria?"
"Wha...wha..." Maria paused, suddenly feeling that dull pain work through her once again. It was now, that Maria knew what the doctor had asked her.
~.~
As Tony sat in the waiting room, he tried to remain calm; after all, he had been the one who told Maria that things were going to be okay. But now that he and Maria were apart, anxiety was sinking in. Part of him was starting to second guess all the hopes he had pinned to this moment. It was now, Tony was reminded of how young he and Maria were, and how neither of them really had no idea what to expect. In the eyes of soceity, they had no business rasing a child - and Tony was starting to believe that. He nervously played with his sweaty hands, catching the attention of another man seated in the waiting room.
"This your first kid?"
Tony glanced up. "Yeah."
"I can tell. The first one is always scary."
Tony knew he must of looked terrified by the look the man gave him.
"I mean the waiting part is scary; everything else is great," the man amended. For a moment the man watched Tony. He seemed out of place in a waiting room meant for fathers (who usually were older than the...kid seated in front of him) anticipating the arrival of their new son or daughter. "Not to sound like your parents, but you're kind of young aren't you?"
Tony sort of smiled. "No, you don't sound like my parents. In fact my mother doesn't even know about the baby. Or Maria."
"Oh, I'm sorry; I shouldn't of asked," the man apologized.
"No, no it's fine. She doesn't know because Maria and I ran away and got married." Tony paused, realizing that wasn't the best choice of words either. "But I'm not saying the baby is why we got married; I love Maria, really, I do, but..." Tony, who now was just nervously rambling, sighed. "Let's just say it's a long story as to why my mother doesn't know."
The man smiled. Somehow, Tony felt as if this complete stranger understood him. "Can, can I ask you something?" Tony began.
"Sure; go right ahead."
Tony inhaled a deep breath before going on. "Do you think age is only a number?"
"Well," the man paused, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck, "yeah. It's a number just like the date on the calendar; it's just there to help us keep track of things in life."
Tony took this in. As he tugged on the gold band around his finger, the man added something.
"Kids don't really give a damn about numbers, so I wouldn't worry too much."
Tony smiled. "Thanks. You know..."
"Excuse me?"
Both Tony and the man looked up. A doctor was standing in front of them. He smiled at the other man, and then looked at Tony. He didn't need to be told what the doctor was here to tell him.
"Is Maria okay?"
"She's tired, but other than that she's perfectly fine."
Tony breathed a small sigh of relief, but his fears weren't calmed just yet. "And the baby?"
The doctor smiled once again. "Healthy little girl."
A little girl. A little girl who would like the color pink, playing dress up, and who would need her daddy to chase away the monsters in her closet.
Tony quickly got up from his chair; right now only two people in the world mattered to him.
Maria gazed down at her arms; she was somewhat unable to comprehend that the tiny child before her was hers. She had held plenty of babies, but this baby was hers; knowing that she didn't need to be given back made holding her all the more enjoyable.
Everything about the baby was so unbelievably beautiful that Maria didn't know what to call her present feeling. It was like awe and happiness and love all wrapped up together. It was a feeling Maria knew came from becoming a mother.
"I love you," Maria whispered as she ran a gentle finger down her daughter's face. All the while, Tony had been standing quietly unnoticed in the doorway. Maria's face was downwards, but he could see the up turned corners of her mouth perfectly. Part of him was content in just watching the scene before him; saying a word would break the innoncent beauty of the moment.
"Hey," he finally said. Maria looked up from the pink bundle in her arms. She smiled at Tony. He took that as a cue to move forward and after carefully sitting down at the foot of the bed, leaned in and kissed Maria.
"I'm proud of you," he whispered. "I wish I could of been there."
Maria smiled. "So do I."
Tony returned the smile, and after taking note of Maria's listless eyes, asked, "How you feeling?"
"Tired, but I feel better than I did awhile ago." Maria slightly adjusted her arms, her eyes looking downwards again. "Everything I went through to get here was worth it though," Maria said with a smile. She looked at Tony, and then back to her arms. "Do want to hold her?"
Tony drew back a bit. "I, I don't know Maria; she's so tiny."
"Oh Tony, you are not going to hurt her."
Tony liked to think otherwise. Maria looked so comfortable holding her, like it was nothing. He thought maybe it was just one of those things that mothers did better. But Tony didn't want to be one of those fathers who just blended into the background. He didn't want to be his own father. Tony wanted to be - or at least try to be - the best father he could. He wanted to give his little girl all the things in life he never had - a good father being one of them. Tony reluctantly extended his arms out towards Maria.
"Be careful with her head," she reminded him as she handed the baby off. Tony looked down to his stiff arms, not really knowing what to do. The baby remained still, her only movements being the rise and fall of her breathing. She was so small and delicate and not like anything Tony had every touched before. She was his.
"I guess she isn't going anywhere," he whispered, his arms slightly relaxing.
"See? There is nothing to be afraid of," Maria replied with a smile. She was glad to see Tony relaxing a bit.
"No, I guess not." Tony looked down at the baby, wondering what she would be like a few years from now. "I bet she'll be a real piece of work someday; with having parents who loved each other but didn't want anyone to know."
The baby moved her head, as if she was agreeing with Tony's prediction. He smiled, and took her small movement as an agreement as well. For awhile, neither Maria or Tony said a word; Maria was waiting for the right time to say the words resting on her lips.
"Maribel," she said in a single word.
"Huh?" Tony asked, not looking up.
"Maribel. I want to name her Maribel because...if my brother would of been a girl, that is what he would of been named."
Tony kept his eyes on the baby. Maribel, he thought. He liked it; it wasn't a long impossible to pronounce name, nor was it an overused name that twenty other girls would have.
"I like it," he said. "Maribel. Maribel..." Tony gave Maribel a long stare. To think that her very existance was because of a warm night in June. "June," Tony finally said.
"What?" Maria asked as she settled her head back onto the pillow. She was starting to realize how tired she was.
"Well, she needs a middle name too. And I was thinking June, because I met you in Ju...and that's kind of stupid, isn't it? Tony asked, turning a bit red at how cheesey he probably sounded. But Maria smiled.
"No; it is not. Not at all in fact." Maria yawned. She tried to keep her eyes open, but she was fighting a losing battle.
"Lets hope she likes it."
"Oh, I am sure she will," Maria said as she finally let her eyes close.
"Maria?" Tony asked. When she didn't answer, Tony took his gaze away from Maribel for a brief moment. "I love you," he said as he brushed a piece of stray hair from Maria's closed eyes. He then slowly got up from the bed and walked towards the window. He held Maribel's warm body close, as he realized his nervous feelings were no more. In fact, now Tony couldn't understand why he'd been so nervous about holding Maribel.
"Maribel I know you don't have a clue as to what I'm saying; you probably can't even hear me," Tony said to the sleeping baby. "But...I'm going to try to be a great dad. I can't promise I'll always be perfect - being perfect is boring anyway. You're lucky Maribel; you have a mother and a father who love each other a lot." Tony paused and ran a finger down the side of Maribel's face. "I love you Maribel."
It was in that moment, that Maribel's eyes slowly opened. Her wide, inonncent eyes that were not yet stained by reality met Tony's eyes that had seen so much. Tony smiled, because doing anything more complex just wouldn't of been right.
