Chapter Summary: Adrien has reached a breaking point. No mom, dad's a nightmare, can't keep his mouth shut around his friends, and the girl he loves has rejected him twice now.
Pairings: Mentioned Ladrien, Adrinette, LadyNoir angst,
A/N: there's a bit of a preface to this chapter, I had originally planned on writing it entirely in Marinette's POV, but then I realized in order to make it logical, I would need to explain some things from Adrien's perspective. So I just made the latter portion of the chapter in Adrien's POV. I don't know if I'll continue this trend for any other part of the fic, but we'll see.
I saw P!ATD yesterday, and I have no speech. It was beautiful. I cried real tears my friend, they were glorious.
Thanks to fairy girl, Nomnom333, TVDFan245, Flamexofxchaos, I Ship It, Shipfinder, Protagonist009, MiraculousLadybugFan995, catgirl505, yzlee0428, Cabbit and the Weasel, Q-A the Authoress, emmares, Mikan, and the 4 guests who all reviewed.
Marinette couldn't look at Adrien during the next ballet class. He didn't even notice her, which hurt even more (despite the fact that he had no reason to notice Marinette). Mme. Bustier was trying to prepare them for the end of the year showcase they had every year at the Academy. Marinette was very much in the mood to skip it, but she knew she wouldn't. She wasn't the type to bail when people were depending on her.
The showcase was not going to be a big deal. It was just going to be a short demonstration of their ballet, and then they would be done. After all, there were a ton other classes to go and so it had to be very short.
When they were done for the day, Marinette bit her lip and forced herself to step up to Adrien. Alya supported her in trying to make Adrien fall in love with the real Marinette. Or some cheesy idea like that. So she would have to speak with him at some point, and now was as good as time as any.
"Uh, Adrien?" Marinette cautiously said to the blonde who turned back to her. "Sorry I haven't texted you about practicing, I've just been so busy."
Adrien smiled and waved her off, her heart did a few backflips for good measure. "No problem, Marinette. I've been pretty busy too."
"I'm free on Monday after ballet if that's alright with you."
Adrien thought for a moment and then nodded. "That sounds good. I'll see you then, Marinette."
"Se- see you then." Marinette, face red, left the class room and headed out of the room. Alya had a date with Nino before heading over to Miraculous, and so Marinette was left alone. She should really make some more friends. Alix, Juleka, Rose, and Mylene were all super nice and they never hung out at all. She would have to spend more time with them outside of Academy dance rehearsals.
For the first time in several weeks, Marinette was truly alone. For the past few weeks, when she hadn't been with Alya, she had been at Miraculous or with Chat. She went to the only place she really felt comfortable going to, her little coffee shop.
Lucky for her Nathanael was not the barista today, and she didn't have to face that nightmare today.
"Marinette!" Marinette turned her head to see who had called her name and her heart jumped into her throat. Adrien was sitting at a table having coffee, on his own. He was waving at her. She waved back.
"How can I help you today?" asked the barista.
"Uh- caramel mocha with whole milk, please."
"Name for the cup?"
"Marinette."
Marinette paid for her drink and moved aside. She stood beside the counter awkwardly. She felt a tap her shoulder and jumped.
"Hey, come sit with me while you're waiting," Adrien said.
Marinette gulped and followed him back to his table. Adrien had his laptop out and typed something really quick before closing it. "There, sorry, I had to email my professor really quick."
"It- it's fine." Marinette cautiously sat across from Adrien, and folded her hands on the table. Adrien looked into her eyes and she couldn't help but think how he'd looked the day before, so close to her, eyes half closed. She lowered her head away.
"Is something wrong…?" Adrien asked.
"No, nothing." Well, there was something besides Adrien's love for Ladybug. "Just- well, Alya's on a date with Nino, and- and I- um, well-"
Adrien held up his hand. "Say no more, I got'chu. You're happy for her, but you don't have anyone to hang out with."
Marinette nodded. "Y- yeah."
Adrien's grin was goodhearted and friendly. "Good thing I'm here to keep you company."
Her name was called and she got up to get her coffee. She held the cup in her hand as the barista walked away, but she didn't move back to the table. She had two options. 1) Go back to sitting with Adrien. 2) Leave. Neither was really better than the other.
"Miss, can I help you with something?" the barista asked her.
Marinette blinked and realized she was just standing at the counter stupidly. "Uh- uh, no, sorry. I just spaced out, sorry." She turned around and headed back to the table. It wouldn't be hard to just take a turn and walk out the door, but she sat down across from Adrien instead.
"So what are you up to tonight?" Adrien asked her, sipping from his drink. He had a yellow smoothie with a pink straw.
Marinette shrugged. "I'm not quite sure. My parents could always use help at the bakery, I'll probably end up just doing that."
Adrien nodded. "Or you could head out to Miraculous, go see Ladybug and Chat Noir." Marinette twitched when he said her alter ego's name.
"Maybe. Uh- I thought you were headed to Nice tonight."
Adrien nodded, and looked at his watch. "I have to be there at 9, my plane leaves at 6:30, I've got time to chill for a bit. Hang out with a friend."
Marinette blushed when he called her his friend. "Thanks. It's great to hang out with you too."
Adrien smiled. "Are you going to be taking ballet next year?"
Marinette twisted her lips in thought. "I'm not entirely sure, to be honest. How about you?"
Adrien's eyes turned sad and he gave a half-smile. "Yeah, I will be, but I think I will have to start taking the advanced classes next year."
"That's great, you're really good."
"Thanks."
"You don't look too happy about it."
Adrien shrugged. "I have to love ballet, I've been doing it too long to not."
Marinette looked down. "Why don't you…quit?"
Adrien sighed, and shrugged. "It's a long and complicated story."
"I'd love to hear it."
"It's also sad."
"I have tissues." Marinette pulled a plastic bag full of tissues out of her bag. This was enough to make Adrien crack a smile and laugh, making Marinette's heart sing.
"You just have those in your bag?" Adrien gestured to the bag of tissues.
"You never know." She shrugged.
Adrien sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Dad wanted me to do ballet, so I did ballet."
"What about your mom, wasn't she a big hip hop dancer?"
"Yeah, but- I haven't heard from her since she and my dad split."
"Oh…" Marinette swallowed and her face turned red. "I- I'm sorry, Adrien. I shouldn't have pried."
Adrien waved his hand. "You didn't mean anything by it. So that's it, Dad does ballet, and so do I."
"He directs mostly though, doesn't he?"
Adrien nodded.
"Would you want to get into that?"
Adrien shook his head. "I've been around ballerinas most of my life, I can't stand them."
"But if you directed, you would get to tell them what to do?"
Adrien made a face and shook is head. "If I could get away with never doing ballet again- well, I'd rather not talk about it."
Marinette was at a loss. She desperately wanted to scream at him. If it makes you unhappy, don't do it! But it wasn't her place to say such things, so she kept quiet and drank her coffee.
"Am I- Am I keeping you?" Adrien asked awkwardly.
Marinette nearly spit her coffee all over his face at the question. "N- no, not at all. I mean, it's Friday night and I have nothing to do."
"You should head on down to Miraculous and check out Ladybug and Chat Noir for me."
Marinette bit her lip. "Yeah, um, I don't know. Clubs aren't really my scene."
"But it's a break dancing club, and we've already established that you're better than you have led on to be."
Marinette shrugged. "I do it for fun, to relax."
Adrien nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah, this girl I-" Adrien stopped himself suddenly and colored. "No, you don't wanna hear that."
"Sure I do."
"N- no, I shouldn't have said anything. Just forget it."
Marinette was silent and sipped on her coffee some more. Adrien looked slightly guilty and he grabbed his bag. He stood and looked down at Marinette. "I hate to run, but I gotta start getting ready to head over to Nice."
Marinette felt her spirits crash, but smiled. "Alright, I'll see you on Monday, tell me how it goes."
"So you're skipping out on Saturday then?"
Marinette blinked and then smiled again. "S- sorry, I'm out of it, I'll see you tomorrow."
Adrien smiled at her and waved as he walked out the door.
Marinette blew her bangs out of her face in a sigh and slouched in her seat. "That could've gone better," she whispered to herself.
Alya was already at Miraculous when Marinette arrived that evening, so she headed to the side door of the club without any company. She and the Gorilla had their brief encounter, and she entered the locker room. As soon as she entered a barrage of dancers pounced on her with questions. Had she thought about this or that? What if these moves could work? Or these?
"Hey, hey, give the lady some room?" A black figure parted the crowd and came to stand next to Marinette. "All your questions will be answered tomorrow at rehearsal."
Marinette breathed easy when the crowd dispersed. Chat slung his arm over Marinette's shoulders and walked her over to their lockers. Marinette brushed his arm off and opened her locker. Chat leaned on the lockers next to her, but didn't say anything.
"You're pretty quiet, Chat-" Marinette turned to see Chat looking her intensely. She blinked and turned from his gaze. "What's up?"
Chat was still silent until Marinette met his eyes once more. Then he blinked and shook his head as if he was in a trance.
"Sorry, just- it's been a weird week. I missed you."
Marinette smiled and snorted. "I saw you less than a week ago."
"Too long, my lady. I nearly forgot how beautiful you are."
"And I nearly forgot how sappy you are."
"But not quite." Chat winked as he spoke. His signature smirk was back and Marinette knew he was alright. She began making sure she was ready to dance. Tying her shoes and making sure her hair was up in her pigtails.
"Doubles Night is Wednesday." Chat spoke, but Marinette didn't look at him.
"I heard something about that." Marinette opened her compact and checked the paint around her eyes, still not looking at Chat.
"Still wanna be my partner?"
"I doubt you could get out of it so easily." Marinette finally looked at Chat with her own smirk, mirth playing at her eyes. Chat grinned back.
"Any excuse to see you, I'm down with."
Marinette rolled her eyes and put her compact away. "I'll never understand why you find your pretend flirtation so funny, Chat." She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and saw he was no longer smiling. She panicked a little. "What? Did I say something wrong?"
"No, no!" Chat said emphatically. "Sorry, like I said, it's been a weird week."
Adrien wasn't entire sure what he was thinking on that Thursday. He truly had gotten the wrong practice room, that wasn't a lie. But as soon as he saw his lady with that- that artist, a side of himself he tried to keep hidden came out.
And then he had the nerve to say it: "my lady." Adrien could've hit him over the head with his easel and not felt at all sorry. But then Le Dessinateur left, and Adrien was sure he was missing something.
He should've known he was pushing it by asking Ladybug to dance with him, but- well, what would it matter if she connected his style with Chat's? If she just happened to notice some similarities between the two of them, and came to an assumption that was not wrong, what was the harm? So long as it stayed between the two of them, he was willing to give everything to her.
He knew he had it bad during their first Doubles Night. When she'd jumped into the pit, that was the moment he was willing to profess his identity to the entirety of Miraculous and not care. Though, he'd thought she was attractive from the moment she challenged him, it was her landing in the pit that made him lose his heart (and his head along with it).
But she had made it clear she did not want to reveal her identity to him, and he was willing to respect that. And he certainly did not want to screw up what little footing he had regarding her attentions by revealing his own identity. If he did, she would probably feel pressured, and that was the last thing he wanted. Their situation was easier without knowing each other's identities. Regardless, Adrien still had spent many a night awake thinking of what she had told him during Doubles Night: "Adrien Agreste…he's one of the greatest guys I've met…"
This complicated things. They knew each other outside of Miraculous? Well at least, she knew him, well enough to be confident that he was a great guy (so not very well at all). Had he ever spoken with her? How many times had he walked past her and not even known it? Had she ever been in his house? …In his bedroom?
Adrien tried to be careful not to let those thoughts go too far.
He'd had his fair share of lovers and girlfriends (mostly other dancers), but…was it possible one of them could be his new paramour?
No, it couldn't be. Adrien wasn't the brightest bulb in the bunch, but he would at least like to consider himself not completely oblivious. If Ladybug was someone he knew well, he would've guessed by now…he hoped.
And then he had to go and be a completely fucking idiot and almost admit that he knew Ladybug to Marinette. Just- she had said the same thing that Ladybug said: "I do it for fun, to relax." It was bad enough that he'd tweeted that video, it was pure luck that no one asked how he may have known the girl in the video. Adrien Agreste did not know Ladybug outside of the video he had tweeted. And now, with how things had gone on Thursday, it was unlikely he ever would.
And there she was, the love of his 20 year old life, standing at her locker, looking over her costumes. The last time he'd seen her was the day before, and he'd almost kissed her. Their lips had been so close he could've sworn she'd felt the stubble on his chin from not shaving that day.
She had rejected both Chat Noir and Adrien. Only he could be rejected twice by the same woman as different people.
"You're pretty quiet, Chat. What's up?"
He wanted to apologize for Thursday. For being jealous, for trying to kiss her. But he was Chat, not Adrien.
He realized he'd been staring and jolted up.
"Sorry, just- it's been a weird week. I missed you." Though he meant that figuratively, the literal meaning was true as well. He had missed her, missed the opportunity to have her.
Their banter was light today, and he buried his feelings to tease her (his favorite pastime). That is, buried them until she brought them all back.
"I'll never understand why you find your pretend flirtation so funny, Chat."
She thought his flirting wasn't for real, that he was just flirting to be funny. If only she knew. The disappointment must've been evident on his face because she immediately inquired.
"Did I say something wrong?"
"No, no," Chat said emphatically. "Sorry, like I said, it's been a weird week."
"Well, you had better get your head together, we're going to be starting soon and I'd hate to see you trip over your own feet again, kitty cat."
Adrien smiled at her, but didn't say anything. He just felt down today. First Ladybug rejected him, and then he practically ran away from Marinette at the coffee shop today. Not to mention the fact that Nino and Alya were getting pretty serious now, which was fantastic for the two of them. But, like he had said to Marinette, he didn't have anyone to hang out with.
"Chat, you're up next!"
Adrien lifted his eyes to the doorway and nodded. He turned to Ladybug and gave her a half smile. She looked at him warily.
"You don't seem yourself, Chat," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "I hope everything's ok."
He took her hand and laid a kiss on her knuckles. "Everything is perfect when you're here, Bugaboo." He grabbed his staff and headed out the door.
He nodded at Nino who was up on his platform doing what he did best. Well, now it was Adrien's turn to show them what he did best. He was facing M. Pigeon today.
"Alright, Miraculous, this one's dedicated to my man, Chat Noir, who's facing M. Pigeon tonight. May you get your ass handed to you my friend," the Bubbler announced and "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls started playing over the speakers. Adrien had half a mind to flip Nino off, but instead focused on M. Pigeon dancing. He was on his A-game today, but Adrien wasn't about to let his bad week ruin what he loved doing.
He traded his signature boogaloo and breaking style for a voguing style that made the crowd scream his name. If Nino was going to try and be funny with this song, Adrien may as well not back down. M. Pigeon was defeated, and then Dark Cupid and finally Timebreaker. Of the three he'd faced so far, he felt the worst for beating Timebreaker. She had been there just as long as he had, and this was the closest she'd ever come to having a shot at any champ (whether it be Chat, Ladybug, or any of the past winners).
Finally Ladybug came out to face Chat. This would be their third battle, and Chat wasn't prepared. Every week he debated as to whether he should really try to beat her, or let her win. He loved dancing with her, rather than against her. But, as the Bubbler constantly reminded them, it was winner-take-all during the Friday night Dance Off.
When Ladybug descended into the pit, he couldn't help but remember yesterday and how she had flat out rejected him at the Academy. It was like seeing her with fresh eyes, and he felt humiliated. If she wasn't going to give Chat or Adrien a chance, why should he go easier on her? Maybe it was time to find out who was really the best dancer at Miraculous.
"It's getting serious on the dance floor tonight, folks. Champ versus former champ, let's see who comes out on top." The Bubbler started with his own remix of "Where Are U Now?" by Justin Bieber and Ladybug began her signature house style. But instead of going back to boogaloo, he started a bounce style he'd been secretly practicing. He saw her eyes widen with his erratic movements, and then determination flashed in her eyes. He stepped back to invite her to take her own turn, and she regarded him before starting.
It was time for Chat's eyes to widen when, instead of going back to her usual house style, she started popping. It may have even had traces of krumping in it, which she had told Chat she did not like doing at all. She finished and the song did as well. Nino wasted no time in putting "One That I Want" by Marvelus Fame on. It was clear there was no winner from the last round.
A winner was not declared in the next round either, and the crowd was growing restless. The music stopped and Adrien turned to see two figures had joined Nino by the turntables, Plagg and Tikki. The spoke to Nino who nodded and put the mic back to his mouth.
"There hasn't been a battle like this in Miraculous for nearly a decade, folks. This next battle will be the tie-breaker, no matter what," the Bubbler announced.
Adrien breathed out of his mouth heavily. He lifted his shirt to his brow to wipe the sweat from his brow. If he wasn't fired up and frustrated, he would've taken pleasure in the douwnflick of Ladybug's eyes to his stomach. But his blood was pumping in his ears and he was determined to get out his frustrations from the week out, and Ladybug was the only person who had ever posed a challenge to him.
"Let's slow it down to let the dancers really show their stuff." The Bubbler started playing "Funky Town" by Lipps Inc.
This song was perfect for boogaloo, and Adrien went back to his signature style. Ladybug also went back to her house style, and Adrien tried to utilize his training to prove he was the better dancer. To no avail, just as the song was ending, and Ladybug was taking her last turn, she flipped on her head and did a headspin, freezing in a pike.
Adrien knew, right then and there, he was beat. The crowd cheered and rushed forwards to lift Ladybug on their shoulders. He pushed his way out of the crowd and towards the locker rooms. He was angrier than he'd ever been before. After he entered the locker room, he sat stewing on the benches in front of the lockers. His back was towards the door and every fiber of his being was screaming for him to slam his body into the lockers until they fell over.
"Chat…? Are you alright?" Adrien flinched at the voice, but didn't look back at Ladybug.
"Go away, Ladybug." He did not want to fight with her, he did not want her to know how much her rejection had hurt.
She sat on the bench next to his, a little ways away. "Are you mad at me for beating you?"
Adrien didn't answer, he stared straight ahead at the lockers.
"Is it this past week? What happened?"
"I said leave me alone!" Chat snapped at her, and Ladybug flinched back. He saw the fear in her eyes and bit his lip, squeezing his eyes closed to fight back the tears. "You wouldn't understand." Great, now his voice was cracking. This was not his greatest moment. He looked back at the lockers and leaned his head against them.
"Try me." She scooted closer to him on her bench.
You don't understand how great my feelings are, you don't understand that you hurt me. "It's not Chat who has a problem…" he settled on saying after a moment.
"Oh…oh…So, it's- you, who you really are that is."
"Chat is who I really am." Adrien met her eyes. "It's the other guy who wears a mask."
"Regardless, he's having some problems. Tell me about them."
"You wouldn't understand."
Ladybug snorted. "I have another identity too, Chat. I don't wear this crop top to go grocery shopping."
"Bet you'd look cute if you did." The comment just slipped out, because that's what Chat was like.
She smiled at this, but waved her hand. "What's up with this other guy?"
"Have you ever been rejected by the person you admire most?"
As soon as he said this, her entire demeanor changed, and Chat knew two things. The first: she knew exactly what he was talking about. The second: there was definitely someone else for her.
"Yeah." Her voice was sad and her eyes were downcast. "Today, in fact."
"What happened?"
"I- I got a little too nosy into his personal business, and- well, I wouldn't say he ran away but he sure didn't walk either."
"He doesn't know what's good for him then."
Ladybug shook her head. "This is about you though. This person whom you admire, what did they do?"
Chat looked away from her. This was his chance to come clean to her. "I'm losing her, I can feel it. Every time we interact, I feel her slip further through my finger-tips."
"On purpose?"
Chat shook his head. "She would never see me that way. She's made it clear."
"She's an idiot then, you're great, Chat."
"She's not that bad, and I'm not nearly that great."
"You're my best friend, Chat." Her stare was too intense, too much, but Adrien couldn't look away.
"What about Lady Wifi?"
Ladybug giggled and Adrien's heart soared. "She doesn't get it."
"Doesn't get what?"
"That boogaloo is cool." Her knowing smile made Adrien groan.
"The Bubbler told you about our lessons then?"
"Yeah." She stood and held out a hand to Chat. "Partners?"
He took her hand and lifted himself up. "Best friends forever, Bugaboo."
She flicked the bell on his neck, and let go of his hand. "C'mon and hang out with Bubbler, Lady Wifi, and I."
Chat crossed his arms over his chest and screwed up his nose. "Are you kitten me? They meow-ke me sick."
"So you're going to leave me to be the third wheel?"
"Get your buddy, Le Dessinateur to go with you." He tried very hard to hide the jealousy in his voice. Chat wasn't supposed to know anything about what happened the day before.
"What's wrong with hanging out after the dances? You never do it."
After being caught leaving Miraculous once, Adrien didn't want to take his chances that someone would recognize him. But when he looked into Ladybug's big, blue, pleading eyes, he couldn't say no. He followed her out the door to hang out with Nino and Alya.
A/N: I'd been wanting to put in a Ladrien dance scene from the beginning, and last chapter set it up perfectly. Well, here are the consequences. He's not a robot, and, honestly, with how high strung his father is, he has no doubt a lot of pent up anger. I hope his part of the chapter also shed some light on his relationship with Ladybug. The last chapter with him didn't even have him meet Ladybug, so here's some of his thoughts.