Chapter Eleven: Hate / Love-Day 20 Part. 4

"Well this is just," I trail off walking into the cold, stone walled room which had four separate holding cells in it. Two on one side and two on the other, seven years and I've never taken a step in here, probably the only room in this place I haven't seen. "A little slice of heaven,"

"Cute," she says under her breath barely looking up at me as she sits on the bench in the far cell to the right.

"Why Mrs. Thronwood what are you still doing down here? I thought that the husband would have had you out in a jiffy,"

"Cute again,"

"Don't tell me the new Chief Superintendent is too busy to get his wife out of jail—in his own station."

"Real cute Lauren,"

"Oh come on, I have to get my kicks in somehow. I mean every single one of my neighbors now thinks I am some crazy woman having an affair with a high end prostitute. I had to call into work for the first time in three years. I had to arrange for someone to pick the kids up from school to take them to the college. Not to mention I have to walk through my girlfriend's job with all of her friends and come bail you out—the same you who was arrested in front of my house while she wasn't there."

"I'm sorry,"

"Right," I'm standing at the corner of her cell opposite her, but she won't look up instead she just stares down at her hands as if she would lose them if she didn't. "I bet you are,"

"I am,"

"Sincerity? How interesting, I swear every so often I look at you and see some growth and then things like last night happen—things like this morning happen."

"I have changed, just apparently you bring out the worst in me."

"Wow, some kind words there for someone who is contemplating bailing you out."

"I don't need you too."

"Oh okay, so you want to stay down here by your lonesome and wait for Kate to come in for her shift?"

"I don't know why you think I am afraid of her."

"You should be," I say flatly and this causes her to look up at me with this sort of surprise to her. "You aren't from this world Bo, this isn't like back home. This isn't you do what you want and have everyone cover your ass. There are human laws, there are Fae laws. Both of which are enforced strongly."

"Thanks for the tip,"

"These cops, Kate's friends—they are immune to your abilities."

"Yeah, saw that."

"Dammit Bo, not all of this is about me and you. They passed Kate up for the promotion your-" I stop taking a breath remembering this is the exact kind of behavior that got us here. "Dyson took her promotion, it doesn't just have weight in the human world but the Fae as well. People aren't happy about that and you're his wife,"

"Fiancee,"

"Whatever," I run my hand though my hair taking another breath. "Can I ask you something?"

"I can't really go anywhere can I?"

"Why do you correct me every time I say that? Most people who are engaged, you say that and they just go with it,"

"You don't have a right to know the answer to that."

"Fair enough," I nod before turning to walk away.

"You're gonna leave me here?"

"You don't want to answer my question so...yeah."

"That's blackmail,"

"Is it?" I turn back around with a slight smirk. "What's the problem? Your fiancee will be back for you at some point I'm sure," I shrug. "Hopefully the real wolves don't come to visit before then,"

"I will answer you truthfully if you answer one of mine."

"Okay," I say hesitantly, walking over to the other end of the room grabbing a wobbly, black folding chair. "You can start," I say walking back with the chair.

"For the record, your birthday is August twenty-fourth, the scar on your ankle came from an experiment gone wrong when you were seven, and no I don't know if you're an only child or not because you never brought up your family."

"What's your question?" I ask as I shift in my seat. Well played Bo, you knew something about me-one point for the succubus.

"Do you really not remember how long it's been since we broke up?"

"I remember, it's just easier to round up."

"Why?"

"That's two questions. Answer mine." I say keeping the calm, cool tone to my voice.

"Because," she sighs and looks back down at the ground. "Because I'm not sure I'm ready to marry him,"

"Not ready or not wanting?"

"That's two questions Doctor," she smirks up at me. "Reading the letter-why do you think me and Dyson were together?"

"I saw you,"

"What?"

"One question at a time Bo,"

"No. That needs an elaboration or you can go ahead and leave me here, I've suffered worse." she leans back against the wall, arms folding across her chest.

Leaning back against the chair scowling I take a minute to weigh this, to weigh just how much I wanted to tell her. Fuck Dyson, but did I really want to throw Kenzi under the bus further? Did I want to help sever their relationship, the only family tie Bo couldn't live without? Was I that person? If I did tell her would it be for honesty, for wanting to punish her, punish Bo—or was it what Kate said, that I wanted to use it as a way to run?

"It was about a week after we started our break, I was heading to the Dal to see Trick about something, I don't remember what it is now and I—I saw you and him on the pool table. You two were already pretty-into it, so you didn't notice me," she gets this disgusted look which I'm sure mirrors mine before she turns away. "I heard it through the grapevine a few days later that you two were together, so I asked Hale for leave. He gave it to me, unhappily I might add but he did."

"Did you intend to stay gone?"

"No—yes-I don't know. I was hurt, I was angry, I was about fifty other things I couldn't describe but how long I intended to stay gone was changing minute to minute," this time I look away from her focusing on the tiny key-hole. "Why?" I ask softly, my icy demeanor fading. "Were you just waiting for me to leave you? I mean kissing Tamsin and running to him just days after we took a break,"

"You knew about that?" she asks but I don't say anything, she can figure that one out for herself. "I don't know why I did it honestly. I was drunk, he was drinking with me—I missed you, I was lonely, I was hurt, I was angry, I wanted to punish you—I wanted to feel loved."

"And he gave you that?"

"Gave me punishing you," she snorts and I glance at her. "Gave me, gave me a temporary fix to a problem I wasn't mature enough to deal with." she sighs and sits up straight beginning to just stare at me. " You and Kate, how and when?"

"Seven years ago next month. And I—well she was your mother's girlfriend."

"What?" she leans forward, eyes wide.

"I crossed paths with your mother years ago, some complicated history with some some guy named Taft and Cunningham Institute, I honestly don't know much about that, she never talks about it."

"Talks? Like present tense?"

"Yeah," I nod mentally kicking myself. "I exchange e-mails with her once and a while. I was helping her control her urges, she was with Kate and things just happened. Your mother is well, I know you know she is alive because she told me you two saw one another a couple years ago."

"Well was anyone not in on the secret of the century?" she snorts clenching her jaw starting to grind her teeth.

"I—I have no input on them,"

"Fair enough."

"So, you and Dyson—have you two broken up and got back together or have you two stayed together for the entire time?" her laugh causes me to finally look her in the eyes and she is just shaking her head at me.

"Yeah we've had sex through the years, even played our complicated tug of war but me and him have only been together officially for a little over five years."

"Five years?" I ask sitting up, my own jaw clenching while my eyes narrow.

"Yeah," that SON OF A BITCH. I can't help my laugh. "Okay, I am not quite sure why that is funny to you."

"It's just—nothing, nothing at all." I shrug trying to keep my facial expressions to a minimum.

"Tell me?"

"Leave it Bo,"

"Tell me,"

"No,"

"Tell me," she lets out in an impression I think is supposed to be Darth Vader—or Hell Raiser, I'm not really sure but either way she can't keep her laugh in and my own follows.

"Someone told me-"

"Kate," she snorts.

"Kate told me that if I was to throw certain things in your face then I would be using it as a copout, that I would be running from having an adult discussion,"

"If I didn't hate her so much she may actually sound sorta smart," she snorts again leaning back against the wall. "But I'm asking, I want to know."

"Okay, guess it's good I decided to leave you in there." I sigh and take a deep breath, the smile slowly creeping from my face. I honestly don't know why I was still here playing this game but maybe she was right, maybe I owed her answers just as much as she owes me them. "Short of it-"

"No, no please use the long. I have no where to go,"

"In the fifteen years and six months," I add base to my voice as I say it since she wanted to make such a point about rounding up. "I've seen Dyson maybe ten, fifteen times."

"What?" the reminiscence of her smile vanishes, and it's almost painful to look at her. "No. No that isn't possible."

"Bo, I've seen him almost fifteen times these past years. I've had conversations with him, arguments, almost came to blows the last time he showed up at my house."

"I'm sorry?" she looks confused, almost inquisitive but yet an anger underlining it all.

"Dyson came to my house to drop off a folder, his not so subtle way of saying back off."

"The kids-"

"Were there? Yeah they were." I look up with a soft smile. "Ethan—you should have seen him, he stood up to him. He was such a little man, he was the spitting image of you in that moment. The way you use to jump to my defense. You don't know what a big deal it is because he doesn't—he isn't confrontational. He doesn't even play sports. But he was such a little man,"

"And Isa?"

"Isa? Her personality is yours the older she gets, undoubtedly she will be a succubus. He will ninety-nine percent sure be an incubus it's just hard to picture since hasn't shown any signs of it—until that day."

"Wh—what are they like? How much did they weigh when they were born? What were their first words?" she asks, pain riddling her features and I can see there is anger there but she is controlling it, her need to know about the kids overriding her need to show her anger.

"They both weighed six pounds, one ounce. They were healthy but for some reason everyone thought they looked small. Ethan's first word was mom and Isa's was Elmo. She used to love Elmo, actually she still does but she won't admit it. She gets a kick out of tickle me Elmo, she would giggle up a storm, I'm sure she would still if she was comfortable enough around you."

"And what are they like?"

"You've met them," I chuckle.

"Yeah but I mean really like, when they are relaxed and-"

"With me?"

"Yeah,"

"They are you." I laugh softly looking down at Bo's feet. "Yeah the world sees me in them but when is all said and done they are you to the core. They will do anything to make me smile, they are so sensitive to certain things. They have such good hearts. But, they're lost. The older they get the more I can see it, they're searching for something that I don't quite know."

"You think that was me?"

"I think that is you,"

"Well don't hold back Doctor," she huffs in a forced chuckle. "So they all knew huh?"

"Bo,"

"I already know the answer, I just want to hear it aloud from someone."

"Yes, everyone knew."

"You know what I can't understand?"

"Hm?"

"Why you aren't tossing everyone under the bus. I mean you should be trying to throw each and everyone of them under the bus, reverse and drive over them again, repeat ten times over,"

"Maybe. But your mother and Trick I have had a relationship with, they had their reasons and respected my wishes. Hale, well Hale is Hale. He is just so in love with Kenzi and does what he thinks is right while treading water. He offered to help me come back, he did but he also didn't break down any doors trying to get me home."

"Kenzi?"

"She's your sister,"

"I don't-"

"Oh stop it Bo. She is your sister, couldn't be anymore if she had the same blood as you. Kenzi had her issues with me, had her feelings about us, about everything and some of the points she had were valid. They were points that I thought on my own, and maybe I just tossed most of the blame on her. But I know this hard on you, and it's only going to get worse—you're going to need to her."

"I need people who don't lie to me," she mumbles and turns away from me once again.

"Good luck with that. Everyone tells each other lies—everyone."

"Even you and Mrs. Perky?"

"Yeah, even us."

"Well you're just on a role for honesty aren't ya," her voice is steadily hardening as she fidgets.

"If you and Dyson weren't together, then why didn't you look for me? Why didn't you try?" I ask perhaps the most loaded question of the day. Her attention snaps back up to me, her features fixed in a scowl.

"So what, you think I just stayed kicking it around the club house for the past fifteen years?" she snorts. "I looked for you, for months. I used every contact I had. I took cases that were questionable just to earn enough money to pay people to look for you. Months upon months I looked for you every way I could Lauren, but after months of dead lead after dead lead I had to give up."

"You looked?" I whisper feeling my chest muscles begin to contract.

"Yeah Lauren, I looked." she stands up so fast it startles me. "I looked for a long time, in some ways I never stopped looking."

"I want you to spend time with them, but God help me Bo if I hear Dyson has been around them even once, you will never see them again." I say after perhaps a solid minute of silence. She looks up at me and there is this hopeful gratitude in her eyes but also this anger that I dared to threaten her.

"So we can tell them tonight,"

"Woah there Speed Racer, I said you could spend time with them. There is no telling them anything until I see you can do this, till you and me talk about working-out a system here. Bo you may be biologically their mother but in the eyes of the law-" I stop talking taking a deep breath reminding myself there was no need to attack. "Just lets take this slow. I have stuff with my relationship, you have stuff with yours, your family not to mention our stuff. I want to make sure we know where we stand before we drag our children into this any further then we have."

"Fine," she huffs with her hands on her hips but doesn't push any further.

"Slow and steady,"

"Thank you," she whispers and I know it must kill her to say those words but there is also an genuineness to them. Maybe she has changed. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because my kids deserve to know the other half of them. Because I am their mother and I want whats best for them and maybe whats best for them is knowing you." I stand pushing the chair back before looking back into her eyes. Eyes I recognize so easily yet know nothing about. "You know Kate said something to me last night," I take a minute as I watch pain creep into her features at the sound of her name. Part of me wanting to kiss it away, the other half enjoying the hurt is causes. "Made me think about something,"

"What?"

"That I love to hate you almost as much as I love to love you," my eyes drop to the floor. "When I can't love you the normal way, when I can't have you I turn it into this anger-this hate. You did a lot of things wrong and a lot of my anger at you is justified but I think I've turned you into this super villain. I turned you into something I could hate because I couldn't love you, that is the real reason I am backing down."

"Because you love me?" she asks and I swear she sounds hopeful, a sound that pulls at my very soul.

"Because I realized I need to let you go. I've swore up and down I didn't love you anymore, I swore I was over it and I felt nothing but hate for you but really it was just me redistributing my love for you, my obsession. I'm obsessed with you in the true meaning of the word and I didn't realize it till she said what she did. I let my anger for you, for them guide my decision to leave, to not press the issue of getting in contact with you and now my children are paying for this in more ways then one. I won't make that mistake again,"

"You didn't answer me,"

"Are you in love with me?" I ask as a reaction, but I can't help but want an answer. Would it matter what she said? Honestly I don't know anymore.

"Lauren,"

"Text me tonight and we'll arrange a time for you to spend with the kids." I say with a soft smile, perhaps it was best I didn't know the answer. "Goodbye Bo," I nod before starting to walk out.

"You're not gonna let me out?" she calls out, a sense of disbelief in her voice.

"You've been free since I got here," I says without turning back, my soft, sad smile turning into a smirk only growing as I hear her start to chuckle. It's the chuckle she use to have when I'd tease her and then walk away. It's a chuckle that brings back so many memories.

I walk out telling Bryan that I was done, to let her out. He gives me some irritated conversation, some dirty looks but I shrug it off. What was I going to do, leave her to rot? To leave her at the mercy of Kate? Bo may not understand what she was capable of but I did.

Bo may be their mother but in some ways so was Kate. For every bit as possessive and territorial a succubus was so is a wolf—a REAL wolf.

Walking down the steps I know so well I see something that I can't get use to nor do I want to. Dyson. Smug asshole.

"What are you doing here?"

"Rescuing your woman, nothing new."

"What are you doing here?" he asks again grabbing my arm pulling me to a stop on the steps causing me to almost lose my balance. There is a growl building in his chest, most wouldn't hear it if they didn't know what to listen for but I heard it. I look at the cops passing us by. James and Julie, Kate's old partners standing on the lading above us starting to take notice. Smirking I lean into him.

"She knows Dyson,"

"Knows what?" he growls again this time a patrol officer notices but continues passing on by.

"Lauren? Everything okay?" I hear James call out but hold Dyson's stare.

"She knows about the kids, she knows you knew." his grip on my arm tightens pulling me closer to him, his eyes dancing between their normal color and their golden counterparts. "What are you going to do Dyson? We're in a police station surrounded by people. You going to hit me again? Threaten me some more?"

"You're forgetting what I have on you,"

"Go ahead. Tell her, doesn't matter anymore."

"There a problem?" James asks, his hand on Dyson's shoulder.

"No problem officer," he chuckles his anger vanishing in a second as he lets go of my arm. Over the years he had become such a good politician, such a good actor. He flashes a smile before continuing on his way up the stairs patting James on the back as he does.

"You alright Lauren?"

"I'm fine," I smile up at him and lightly touch his forearm. "Thank you, always a knight in shining armor." they all were, a huge pack of wolves all ready to jump to my aid—such an interesting feeling to go from being a slave to having so much power. "Tell Julie I said hey,"

"Are we still having the annual B-B-Q next week?"

"Long as Kate remembers the chicken this time around, hate to have a repeat of last year," I say and we share a laugh before we part ways.

No one had to know there was anything wrong, Kate was alpha of the pack so she wouldn't be telling anyone what's happened and I sure as hell wouldn't. All anyone had to know was that Dyson took her job, Bo was his woman and that was the problem between us all.

No one had to be the wiser...

….Then again that is the exact line of thought that got me into this mess.