I just... don't own anything.

Thanks so much to killerlashes and IAmToWait for dealing with my impatience and everything else that I come with. And to UofMAnne for the preread.

Chapter 11 – Just Give In

For the next few hours Edward and I stuffed ourselves with Chinese food, watched a ridiculous movie, and talked.

A lot.

So many weeks before it had seemed like Edward was perfect. He had his shit together, raised his little sister, and well, he was pretty much Jesus' right-hand-man. But talking to him like that, just the two of us curled on his couch… it was real.

Edward told me about his college party days, how he would wake up in a different room almost every day and have no idea how he got there or how he managed to get through his first two years.

"It was crazy." He shook his head and stole a piece of my orange chicken. I laughed when sauced dribbled down his chin, but wiped it off with my thumb. Then I kissed him for good measure.

"Is that why you don't drink now?" I asked. He shrugged in a noncommittal kind of way and set both of our food containers on the table.

"Kind of," he said pulling my legs over his lap again. I leaned against the side of the couch and frowned.

"What's that mean?"

"Well, I told you about the detox after my parents first died, right?" I nodded. "After that I did some court appointed AA meetings and I've just… I've been sober ever since."

"You went to AA?" I asked dumbly. "But you work at a bar two nights a week!"

"It doesn't bother me. I haven't had a drink in almost five years and I'm okay with that." He shifted underneath me and pulled something out of his pocket then placed it in my palm. It was a bronze coin with a triangle in the middle of it and the words "Unity, Service, Recovery" on the sides of it and "To thine own self be true" around the edge of the coin. A number four was circled in the middle of the triangle.

I rubbed my thumb over it softly and felt Edward's gaze on my face.

"Am I freaking you out?" he whispered.

"No." I laughed, though it was a bit forced. He wasn't freaking me out. I was freaking myself out. Stupid girl brain. It was still hard to comprehend the things that Edward shared with me and the things I wanted to share with him. Edward took his coin back and shoved it in his pocket. "Do you still go to meetings?"

"Every once and a while. I actually think I'd like to start sponsoring them."

"In your free time?" I joked and he laughed.

"Yeah, maybe I should rethink it." He mirrored my lean against the couch until our faces were inches apart.

"No, you should do it."

"You think?" he asked as he brushed my hair off of my face.

"I think that you have this calmness about you that would be really helpful in those kinds of situations. You've built a life that you should be proud of and people would be able to look up to you for that," I told him. I watched his eyes grow wide at my comments, probably because I said something that wasn't teasing him or didn't have the word fuck in it. "What? I can't say nice things about you?"

"I'm just not sure I've ever heard them." He grinned.

"You're an ass."

"There's my girl," he said before leaning in to kiss me. My girl.

His kiss started out gentle with his fingers trailing lightly on my face, but then they were wrapped around the back of my neck, holding me to him. Before I knew it I was being pressed against the couch with my own arms wrapped tightly around Edward and my legs tangled with his.

"Whoa," I said, pushing him away gently.

"Yes, Joey?" He chuckled as his lips met my jaw. Who knew he was a Blossom fan. His teeth grazed my chin, his hips shifted and… Oh, God.

"We can't, I mean we - " I stuttered as his hand ran under my shirt and across the bare skin of my belly.

"Relax, pretty girl. I just want to kiss you," he murmured into my ear. I gave an involuntary shudder and pulled him closer.

"This is a bad idea," I whispered when we were nose to nose.

"Why?" he asked, his lips against mine.

"Because, if I kiss you like this I won't be able to stop," I answered with a sly grin.

"Touché, PG. Touché." Edward sat up and pulled me up with him, his arm resting on the back of the couch and his eyes on me.

"PG?" I asked, confused. I just wanted him to kiss me again. But alas, I knew it was wrong. And by wrong I obviously meant really, really right.

"Pretty girl, your new nickname. Unless you prefer Pocahontas?"

"Fuck you!" I smacked him in the back of the head.

"Oh, dirty girl. I don't think I've heard those words since the first time we met."

"I wasn't very nice then, was I?"

"Neither was I, so it's okay." Edward shrugged and leaned back against the couch, his hands in his lap.

"You were." I grabbed one of his hands and laced his fingers with mine.

"I was an ass." He chuckled softly.

"I was a drunk bitch."

"Nah, you were feisty and raw. I liked that about you." He smiled and I shook my head.

"Drunk. Bitch." I snorted.

"I don't know, Leah. I've never met anyone like you. You always say what's on your mind and you don't let anyone stop you from being, well, you."

I studied him carefully while he spoke. While he spoke about me. His earnest green eyes melted into mine and I felt myself smiling before I even thought about it. It was almost as if he admired me.

"Sometimes I think me could use a little less cussing and a little more listening," I said softly. Edward laughed. Loudly. The man outright guffawed.

"I like you just the way you are," he said before leaning over to kiss me again. It was soft and it stayed soft until he pulled away and brought me against his side.

"Yeah, I like you just the way you are. A weirdo." I kissed his cheek and rested my head on his shoulder.

"I prefer eccentric," he whispered against my forehead. That time it was my turn to laugh.

"Whatever you wish." I sighed.

"You asked me what we were doing here, Leah and – truth is… I have no idea," he said quietly. I pulled away so I could see his face. He smiled, though it was sad almost, and spoke again. "I like you. I just… can't help it."

"Me neither," I said and ducked my head against his shoulder again.

"It just feels really, really right." Edward sighed and pulled me closer to him, until I was practically in his lap. I didn't say anything and hoped my silence let him know that I felt the same.

xXx

I only saw Edward on Wednesday after our Sunday night together. Alice was feeling better by then so Edward agreed to let her out of the house, though she was mainly attached to my side the entire time.

"You like him, huh?"

"Shut up, little girl. I'll sic those dwarves you love so much on you."

"You're really not nice sometimes." Alice pretended to pout.

"You like it." I nudged her with my shoulder.

"Not as much as you like my brother." If she wasn't still sick I would have… well, I wouldn't have done anything. She was just a kid.

"Don't tell him." I gave her the side-eye and she nodded cautiously.

"I won't. Just don't do anything to hurt him. I'd hate to have to hurt you," Alice said solemnly.

I snorted. "Keep dreaming, Snow White."

"I took karate in Kentucky. I know things, Leah," she said in a low whisper. "Got it?"

I swallowed loudly. "Got it," I answered before she skipped away. Creepy little girl.

"What was that pow-wow with Alice about?" Edward asked a while later as we waited for kids to be picked up.

"I think she threatened me," I said. He laughed and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "She's scary."

"All bark, I promise," he said and kissed my head.

"Hmm," was all I said. She was still scary as fuck.

I had bigger things to worry about than Alice, however. Edward was due back at Quil's on Friday and Claire had invited us over for dinner first. Which meant that our "official second date" would be spent with my crazy ass friend and her husband.

"Are you sure this is okay?" I asked Edward Friday night.

"Leah, we're standing at their front door. I'm pretty sure it's okay," he said with a laugh. I frowned and knocked on the door. We heard Quil shout for us to come in so we did and were immediately overwhelmed by the smell of delicious food.

"Hey guys, Claire's out back," Quil greeted us from the stove wearing Claire's paisley apron. "Let her know how you want your steaks cooked."

"So… you and… what?" Edward looked from me to Quil and then toward the back door where Claire was manning the grill.

"I'm crap with fire, dude. Claire doesn't let me anywhere near the grill." Edward laughed and nodded, politely ignoring the fact that his "man world" had just been turned upside down by the fact that Quil really sucked at grilling things. I knew from experience how awful he was.

"There you are!" Claire greeted us with a huge smile when she entered the kitchen. "Looks good, babe." She inspected the various dishes he had set up on the counter and kissed him softly. I felt Edward shift beside me and wondered, albeit very briefly, if we'd ever see ourselves in that place. Oh, sweet Jesus. Don't even go there, girl.

"Hope you guys are hungry. She's had me slaving over this all day," Quil said as he slipped the apron over his head. Claire smacked his ass and gave him a dirty look before taking the steaks back outside.

"Grab some drinks and come out!" she called.

Quil handed grabbed three beers and handed Edward a soda can before we followed Claire outside. It was a rare clear night and the stars were just visible through the tall trees in their backyard. Edward and I sat on one side of the picnic table with Claire and Quil on the other.

The four of us stared at one another in silence for what seemed like forever. I kicked Claire under the table to remind her that she was supposed to be the hostess. Quil winced and I realized I missed my target.

"Why is this so weird?" Edward finally broke the ice.

"I have no idea." Quil shrugged. "You want to play cards?"

"God, yes," I interjected. Edward frowned down at me so I smiled and kissed him. He tasted like Dr. Pepper.

Dr. Pepper was officially my favorite drink on the planet.

Quil came back with a deck of cards and Claire proceeded to kick the shit out of all of us in Rummy and cook the best steak I'd ever eaten. Edward and I cleared the dishes and washed them, quietly chatting and nudging each other.

"You guys are just so darn cute, you know?" Claire said from behind us. Edward's face flushed and he shook his head. I couldn't find it in me to give Claire the stink-eye.

"Oh, is she planning your wedding already?" Quil brought in the last of the leftovers and kissed his wife on the head.

"And naming their children."

"Ah, I can't wait to meet little Jack and Natalie," Quil grinned.

"Lovely names, sounds like something we'd pick," Edward played along. I dried my hands and patted him on the back.

"Dream on, sweetheart," I snorted. "Are we ready to go?"

"Sure, sure. Douse my dreams why don't you," Claire grumbled as we piled out the door. Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me against his side, his lips pressed against my forehead.

"That was fun," he said as we got in the car. I smiled, happy that Edward was getting along with my friends. Well, some of my friends. Jacob had come and gone without really getting to know Edward. Not that I needed Jacob's approval or anything, but it would have been nice for them to get to know each other. Maybe.

The bar was already packed when we arrived and Edward quickly slipped away to set up. Claire and I took a seat at the bar while Quil slipped behind it and fell into work after slipping us drinks.

"This is nice. He's nice," Claire said quietly. I smiled again. I was doing a lot of that lately.

"He said I make him feel weird," I told her with a wry smile. Claire laughed loudly.

"That's a good thing, right?"

"That's what he says." I shrugged and sipped my beer while my eyes focused, not on Edward, but on the band of whores that had gathered around the stage. I narrowed my eyes at them but stopped when Edward saw me. He shrugged and grinned so I flipped him the bird.

"Bitches," I muttered. Claire snorted beside me.

"Jealous much?"

"What? They're just fucking gawking at him."

"He's nice to look at." She shrugged and turned to me. "Besides, he's not looking at any of them."

I turned back to the stage and realized she was right. He hadn't once acknowledged the group of girls sitting at his feet.

"Damn straight."

"Oh, good gravy. You've got it so bad."

"I really do, C." I sighed contentedly.

"So, what are you going to do about like… sex and stuff?"

"Whaaaaat?" I asked, my voice coming out incredibly high-pitched. I cleared my throat and tried again. "Um, what do you mean?"

"Well, he's a pastor, right? Do they, you know… do it?"

"I… think so?" I questioned.

"I mean, I wonder if he's done it before. He's had to have. No one that gorgeous could still be a virgin," Claire mused quietly.

"What if he is?" I whispered.

"He can't be. The boy's got sex written all over him."

"No, no he doesn't," I disagreed, though I'd secretly thought those things the first time I'd met him. Now, after just a short time of knowing him I knew that Edward did have things written all over him, but sex wasn't one of them. Kindness. Faith. Strength. Those were the things I saw when I looked at him. Of course, when he touched me with those hands and kissed me with that pretty mouth… what I saw and what I felt became two completely different things.

"What was the stink-eye for earlier?" Edward's voice startled me.

"Nothing." I slipped my arm around his waist and pulled him to me. He leaned down and kissed me and I smiled against his lips, feeling all of their eyes on me. That's right, bitches. He's all mine.

"You're a horrible liar," he whispered against my mouth.

"Go. Your fans are waiting," I said as I pushed him away. He winked at us before making his way to the small stage.

"I like him." Claire smiled widely at me.

"Back off." I smacked her. She laughed and threw her arm around my shoulder.

"Oh, Lee. You're so cute when you're all flustered and in love."

I felt myself nearly break into a cold sweat as I played her words over in my head.

In love.

Holy shit. Those words were scary. The only person I'd ever been in love with was Sam and we all knew how well that turned out. It was strange to think that I could be there again. That I was at a point where I wanted to spend forever with someone. Could I see myself with Edward forever? And, dear God, we'd only been on three dates (if you count the night we spent in). Sometimes I hated Claire and the things she put in my head.

I had been going over the 'L word' for so long in my head that I hadn't noticed that the lights had been dimmed and Edward had started playing. Claire nudged me softly and I looked toward the stage. His eyes were trained on me, a smile on his face. It was a smile I'd only seen once before. (Yeah, I knew his smiles. Sue me.) It wasn't joking or playful; it was calm and serene, much like how he looked the day he took me to the sanctuary.

Reverent.

Peaceful.

And he was looking at me. I had to tear myself away from him in order to regain my composure, to get my head on straight. I could feel Claire's eyes on me as I hopped down from my stool and pushed my way through the crowd and out the door. I somehow found myself leaning against the side of the building bent over with my head in my hands.

It was a few moments later when I heard his footsteps and felt his hand on my back. He didn't have to say anything; I knew it was him. I moved quickly, without looking him in the eyes and wrapped my arms securely around him, burying my nose in his neck and breathing him in.

"You scare me," I whispered into his skin. He didn't laugh as I thought he would. Instead, he just held me tighter and took a deep breath. "I feel so much when I'm with you and it scares me."

"I know," Edward replied.

"I don't want to fuck this up," I told his shirt.

"I won't let you," he said into my hair.

"I mean it, Edward. I'd never forgive you," I said as I tried to lighten the super serious mood I'd created.

"I promise, pretty girl." He pushed my shoulders back gently and tipped my face up to his. Edward smiled softly, the same smile that had almost made me head for the hills and I nodded.

"Promise. I like promises. You can't break those without consequences. Like the promissee's big male best friend breaking the promissor's kneecaps, for example."

"I wouldn't dare." His smiled transformed into a full-on grin.

"Good to know." I smiled and leaned up to kiss him, knowing for the first time in a long time what hope felt like.

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