The Things Between Us

Epilogue: Sui Generis

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Dib once heard it said that time healed all wounds. In the days following their escape from earth, he came to appreciate an odd dichotomy in those words. Somehow they were pure truth and the most appalling of lies, all at the same time. His physical injuries were healing - given more recovery time his injured wrist would be as good as it had ever been. The chest wound he'd suffered, the one that should have killed him - and perhaps it had, he found it difficult to refute Zim's claim that he'd died for however short a time - was another matter entirely. Sometimes he would wake from his sleep grasping for a nonexistent protrusion of metal, his unconscious mind knowing it to be present beyond even the slightest shadow of a doubt. He always felt the ache of it to some degree - like a man losing a limb to a war injury, it left a ghost of itself, a memory that went bone deep.

Zim had saved his life... there in the dark deserted confines of the alien base... but what he felt about said rescue was an often nebulous and confusing mishmash of conflicting emotions that he couldn't even begin to sort out. He wished it could be cut and dried - that he could be grateful to Zim for what he'd done. The alien's actions had given him the chance to make something out of his life. He now had the opportunity to pull away from the tattered remains of his existence on earth and do what he could only have dreamed of before - venturing out into the galaxy and going where no other human had ever been before. 'I should be ecstatic,' Dib sighed quietly, trying not to wake Zim with the motion.

The alien had been spending most of the time in some freakish, Irken equivalent of sleep - or at least that was what it seemed like to Dib. Zim's eyes never closed - they just went dark and blank, staring out into the blackness of space. At first it had sent the human into a frenzy of panic, thinking that the alien had just up and died on him - leaving him alone and stranded in a tiny spaceship floating aimlessly through the vast emptiness of the galaxy. He'd learned better quickly enough, upon the alien regaining consciousness. Now the silences were not punctuated with fear, only with a gnawing boredom and a rapidly burgeoning realization that the tentative peace that they'd achieved upon their escape from earth could not possibly last forever.

Initially Dib had taken an odd sort of comfort in the presence of his former enemy. If ever he'd needed reassurance that his efforts had not been in vain, Zim was only the merest distance away - often the small space in which they were confined meant that he was usually in tactile contact with the Irken at all times. It all seemed so surreal, especially in the moments where he lingered on the verge of sleep himself, so certain that this was all some dream he was experiencing. Lately though, he could feel the restlessness making him jumpy. The Voot was meant for a single Irken passenger, not an Irken and an adult human, and his current version of 'exercise' was trying to find a way to unfold his legs in the cramped cockpit. Zim was taking up space that his ill-used limbs were beginning to insist that they badly needed.

It was hard for him to be angry with Zim yet though - every time he felt an inclination towards the emotion, he saw the healing wounds on the alien's body and counseled patience to himself. Patience... and a bit of pride-inspired clemency. After all, Zim had endured nearly six years of being experimented upon in just about every unpleasant way that human science had to offer. If Zim could get through that, then Dib could swallow his complaints about their cramped conditions. He would rather eat his own head than admit that a few days of suffering the irritating pins and needles sensation every time he moved was nearly enough to make him whine like a four year old. Besides, he doubted that griping about it would accomplish much of anything - the Irken was probably just as miserable with the situation as he was.

Until they'd actually escaped Earth, Dib hadn't really considered the logistics of what he was doing. Going off into space with Zim was a pretty crazy notion, even though there hadn't been many other options available at the time. Now here they were, in space, and Dib had no idea what they were going to do next. Presumably Zim could return to his home planet, although after all these years of no alien death fleet coming to earth to discover the whereabouts of their missing Invader, Dib suspected that his former enemy was not well liked by his own species. Even if he was, what was the likelihood that they would be pleased that not only had Zim not conquered the planet, he'd led one of the Earthlings right back to his own kind? Not too good, he thought.

He hadn't had the opportunity to really discuss this with Zim yet – he anticipated that it would quickly descend into a screaming match, with Zim insisting that 'of course his leaders would be thrilled to see him back, he was ZIM'. Dib could almost have the entire conversation in his own head and there was no doubt that it would be pretty accurate, if not word for word. All thanks to Zim's weird alien technology. Sometimes he could hear a faint noise, a whispering voice in the back of his mind that refused to be silenced. It freaked him out, especially in the moments where it came to the forefront a little more and he could almost make out what it was saying.

His gaze flitted down to the alien slumped against the side of the Voot and half sitting in his lap. Zim's expression was still vacant but every so often he would twitch a finger or one of his antennae, his mouth moving a little and silently forming words. If they were in English, Dib couldn't tell, but at times like this the whisper in the back of his mind felt the strongest.

Dib tore his gaze away from the alien's face, turning his head slightly to stare out the Voot's window. Beyond the thin barrier, the stars stretched out in an endless diorama. The elaborate swirls of far off nebulae were beautiful and alien, with colours that had probably never been seen before by human eyes. All his life he had been so focused on aliens and monsters from beyond the stars that he never stopped to think about what else the universe might hold. The few times he'd previously been in space, he had never bothered to really look at it all. He'd only had eyes for Zim. Yet looking at them now, even now with all of his ties to earth and family cut and cast adrift, all he could see was still Zim.

He felt his throat grow tight - anger or sorrow, he wasn't sure – and a prickling sensation at the back of his eyes. This time he didn't try to fight it. The tears were free at last, slipping silently down his cheeks, clinging to his lashes and hanging briefly from his chin before tearing free. Wet warmth hit the back of his wrist and he raised his hand to stare at the damp spot on his skin, eyes wide with disbelief. All this time, he'd been devoid of real tears – reduced only to dry sobs or nothing at all… Dib never thought he would cry again.

Why he was crying when everything was going right for him, he didn't know. He probably never would.

Oddly, the tears were a better salve to his wounded soul than all the time and space in the world. Time covered over the hurts, dulled the painful memories until they were hidden away by layers of mental scar tissue. But it didn't make anything go away. This too was just another unpleasant fact of life. The tears were bitter and sweet, and although they hurt like hell coming out, they relieved some of the built up pressure – the guilt and stress that could find no other outlet. The sound in his throat was not quite a sob, instead bearing a surprising resemblance to hysterical laughter. The human barely stifled the noise in time, shaking a little even so.

Dib's efforts to remain silence proved futile as he felt the stirring of a small body and looked down into a pair of weary magenta eyes. For a moment he tried to choke back the tears, leery of what the Irken would say. To be called weak and pathetic was the last thing he needed now, but what he saw on Zim's face was anything but what he expected. The little green alien had an expression of longing that bordered on actual hunger. One bare, three fingered hand rose to Dib's face, fingers brushing against his cheek as he struggled not to flinch away from the touch.

"Does it hurt?" Zim asked in a soft hiss, pulling his hand away with the faint gleam of teardrops marring the green skin.

And Dib, not knowing how to respond to such a query, went with the truth. He had no energy for anything else. "Yes."

Zim's eyes narrowed as he peered into the human's face, but Dib only met the piercing stare with a look of tired resignation. Surprisingly, it was the Irken who tore his gaze away first, his features twisting with some hard to identify emotion. "Oh."

For a moment, Dib felt a surge of anger at the reaction. Oh? Was that really all Zim had to say in all of his superior alien glory? He opened his mouth to snap something he would surely regret later, then saw the subtle slump of the Irken's shoulders, heard that faint ghost of a whisper in the back of his mind and felt understanding blossom inside him with a sharp pang.

'Oh…' What he was seeing was a far cry from the attitude Zim had shown back on earth. He had no idea if Irkens could cry – or if they were even really capable of most of the same emotions as humans – but he thought he understood nonetheless. Zim had no capacity for this kind of release of his stored up pain and frustration. So he destroyed things – like a little child throwing a temper tantrum. 'I understand.' And, as always, there remained the grandest irony – that his realisation did not help the matter in the slightest.

"I'm sorry…" He knew he didn't need to apologise… but he had to all the same.

"So am I, earth-stink…" Zim raised his wet fingers to his mouth, lapping away the salty tears with slow deliberation. Dib thought he saw the alien's skin smoking faintly where the liquid had touched and wondered what it was that made the pain such a necessity – why it was always the last, best resort.

'Catharsis', his mind prompted, and his mouth twisted in a smile, one that Zim echoed wanly – a moment of shared pain, if that was all they could really share. For all their numerous differences and their utter alienness to each other, they were still closer than any two such individuals had any right to be. No matter how much they railed against the fact – however much they fought or argued – they had an inviolable bond. It was the noose around their necks that only pulled tighter the more they struggled to pull away.

Dib never thought he would lose to Zim. It was some consolation that Zim had also lost to him. And that they'd both won somehow - if only by dragging each other across the finish line, stumbling and swearing the entire way.

He felt himself shaking again, this time with laughter and after a moment of staring at him, dumbfounded, Zim couldn't help but join in. A little mean, a little confused and overall hysterical, but it felt good. And for the first time he could remember, Dib felt a little ember of warmth settling into his chest – small and uncertain, but tenacious - and he could tell it was there to stay.

With life, freedom and a crazy little alien beside him, the universe was full of countless possibilities and, at long last, strong undercurrent of hope.

When their laughter finally died down, Dib looked down at the little alien still perched in his lap, a crooked grin on his face. "So… what now, Zim?"

"Eh?" The Irken's antennae pricked forward, his expression twisted into a look of confusion so profound it was comical. "What do you mean, Dib-monkey?"

Dib shook his head slowly, the grin never leaving his face. "I mean, where are we going to go now? I mean, we can't go back to earth, and I doubt your leaders would be too thrilled to see you-"

"What nonsense are you vomiting, earth filth!?" The Irken hissed back, "Not thrilled to see ZIM? Why would they NOT be amazed to see me!?"

'And… here we go…' Dib's eyes glittered behind his thick glasses, his grin turning feral. As much as the peace between them was welcome in its own way, this was something he needed – something he lived for. The thrill, the fight, the hot rush of competition against the one creature in the universe who was his opposite and equal all at once.

"Possibly because you got your ass kicked by a human and didn't succeed at taking over the planet?" He suggested with no attempt at innocence to hide his cutting words.

"LIES!" Zim's voice hit a decibel previously only attainable by supersonic aircraft.

'Oh yeah…' Dib grinned wickedly, the next barb already on his lips. The future was looking promising.

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"Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning." - Winston Churchill

Fin

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Author's Note:

What can I say at this point? If you've read this story all the way to the end then you've probably heard it all. The true irony of this epilogue is that it was pretty much written all along. So why, you might be asking, did it take so long to finally show up online?

When I started writing this fanfic, back in early 2005, it was meant to be an 8k one-shot. Now here it is, three years later as a 60k finished piece. Sometimes stories go beyond what we expect of them, this one certainly did. As some of you might know, there's a companion story to this one – it's called "The Little Things", and while it doesn't feature Zim or Dib at all (it takes place parallel to this story), it's nonetheless very important. Not for the reading of this fic, but for what I'm about to tell you.

I had to struggle and rewrite this chapter so much because there's more. I've already started work on a sequel – called Penumbra – which takes place pretty much where this leaves off. I tried to give this one a sense of a real ending, so those of you who don't want to continue on can still enjoy it as a stand-alone fic. For those who are interested in going forward, be warned… Penumbra is LONG. TTBU stands at 9 chapters (11 if you count the prologue and epilogue). Penumbra is about twice that, somewhere between 20-25 chapters. Several of them are already partially written and it was my hope to have the first chapter posted to coincide with the final chapter of this story. Unfortunately, such is not the case, but I'm looking forward to putting the chapters up soon. For those who haven't read TLT, it ties into Penumbra along the line, so now is a good time to start looking into it if you're interested.

This has been a pain and a joy to write, and I'm already dipping back into the waters eagerly for the next fic despite thinking I would never write for IZ again.

Thank you to all of my readers. Your praise and criticism and above all your interest in TTBU are what gave me the courage to continue posting this even when I found it overwhelming and didn't want to go on.

This chapter is dedicated to all of you.