So here's chapter 12 guys I really hope you're enjoying the story so far. Ive got a couple reviews and it seems so but anyhow please read and enjoy!
Sherlock had curled up his knees as far as his body would let him and buried his face in them, hiding from the pain of the world and not even bothering to try and stop the blood which trickled slowly down his neck from the cut on the back of his head. Only one thing mattered to him, the man sitting next to him. Before Sherlock can stop himself he utters the words "I miss you…So much" In a tiny voice to John, not raising his head from his knees.
At the words he barely hears leaving Sherlocks lips John slowly raises his head, looking at the broken man beside him, a wave of guilt swamping him when he sees the slowly growing patch of blood on the back of Sherlocks head. His senses had sharpened slightly at the appearance of blood but he was in no way tempted to drink it. Whilst in the army John had got by seeing blood, being surrounded by and even kneeling in pools of blood and he never even gave drinking it a second thought.
John doesn't reply to Sherlocks statement and instead picks himself up off the carpet, wiping his eyes roughly in the process, ridding them of falling tears and leaving his eyes and lashes damp before continuing on through to the bathroom, silently. In which time Sherlock snaps his head up off his knees, the look on his face changing from pain to dread as John gets up and starts walking away from him and then finally full out relief as he sees John returning from the bathroom, clasping a first aid kit. John almost pauses and stares at the sight which meets him when he returns from the bathroom, Sherlock Holmes, sitting on the ground looking up to him with utter relief through red and tear filled eyes, his hair sticking up from where he had been tugging his fingers through it and his shirt askew from John grabbing him. Another shock of guilt hits John and he kneels next to Sherlock.
"I need to fix your cut" John says softly, holding out a hand to make sure Sherlock was alright with it, Sherlock simply nodded, still keeping eye contact with John long after he had moved his gaze. John reaches his hands out and places his fingers softly on Sherlocks temples, tilting the brunettes head forward so he could access the cut. Sherlock lets John tilt forward his head and closes his eyes lightly, after so many months away from John even just being this close to him relaxed Sherlock.
John zips open the kit and takes out an alcohol pad, raising his free hand to the cut on the back of Sherlocks head and gently cleaning it. Sherlock doesn't even flinch as the disinfectant comes into contact with his cut and instead stays staring at the floor as though perplexed by something there. But the truth was right now, what was happening, John being right there, it was hurting worse than it did before John reappeared. Having him so close again but being unable to touch him, having to refrain from drawing him into his arms and never letting go made a constricting weight clamp in Sherlocks chest.
John continued cleaning the cut, wiping away the blood which had escaped it in the process and taking a quick look. "Its not deep, you wont need any stitches" John informs Sherlock quietly, not bothering to tidy away the first aid kit and instead just setting it aside and staying in his position, kneeled next to Sherlock. Sherlock nods and looks up to John, opening his mouth as though to say something but quickly closing it again and looking back at the ground.
The pair were silent for a long time before John spoke, his voice quiet and trembling slightly, "I forgive you" He whispers almost silently, staring at the ground intently. John had been going over Sherlocks story in his mind for the last few minutes, the way he reacted to Johns secret was understandable. It hurt yes, god it hurt, but Sherlock had done the only thing he knew how in such a situation and called his brother, blocked his emotions because he was hurt John didn't 'trust' him enough to tell him. John knew him well enough to know that was his way of dealing with emotional hurt, deny any feelings. Of course, at first Sherlock had let Mycroft throw him in a cage with injuries but it was soon after Sherlock released him and, if what Sherlocks saying is to be believed, it would have been even earlier if it wasn't for Mycrofts threat. That of course was also protecting John,or so Sherlock thought at the time, as Mycroft had threatened to kill him. So yes, John was forgiving Sherlock but definitely not forgetting the events which had occured.
Sherlock snaps his head up at Johns barely hearable words an blinks a few times at the blonde, tears still in his own grey eyes, "W-What?" Sherlock asks so silently that John had to read his lips, "I forgive you for what you did Sherlock" John repeats in a stronger voice. Sherlock stares at John for a few moments before his defense breaks and tears start to swell in his eyes, though this time they are from both pure, blissful relief and guilt. After a few seconds hesitation he nervously wraps his arms around Johns waist, expecting to be pushed off a second later and almost gasping with surprise as he felt arms pull him closer as he buried his face into Johns chest.
John wasn't an idiot. For any other man John would never ever even consider forgiving them for what he had been made to go through, no matter what the excuse, but this wasn't just any other man. This was Sherlock and John, quite frankly, wasn't even sure he could call him that anymore. Sherlock was not the man John used to know and he quite obviously hadn't been coping since John had left and why? Because of guilt and heart break that much was obvious. He had been taking drugs again, John could see from his appearance and of course the self harm. The flat was lacking its usual case files lying everywhere so he hadn't been taking cases either. Sherlock Holmes was not the man he used to be. So when John felt the detectives shaking arms hesitantly wrap around his waist he replied in the only way he ever would and returned the gesture, feeling months of grief lifting away whilst being in Sherlocks arms.
Because no matter what Sherlock had done to John, John would always forgive him because he needs Sherlock and Sherlock needs him.
READ ME!
Okay so guys I'm wondering if you want me to keep writing? I could continue this story and Sherlock and Johns relationship or this could be a nice little ending. So please let me know! If at least a few people want me to continue I will do so and if not I'll just write a little epilogue for those of you who still want it nicely finished. Also back to school tommorow *cries* so updates will be further apart if I do continue. Right, so please let me know and also review!