Author's Note: Bioware, nod. Quite a bit of game dialog is borrowed here with minor modifications. I saw that many M-rated stories actually have warnings about the smut coming up and thought 'that's redundant' until I forgot to close one I was reading over my lunch at work one day. That's when I got it, not that anything came of it in my case, thankfully! So I guess I'm just saying you might want to be careful where you read this.

I always feel a bit awkward writing the smutty bits, like I'm actually watching someone else. Funny. Comments/reviews are most welcome!

Confessions of Love

Zevran took Kallian to their room and locked the door behind him while pulling her into an embrace. They kissed, their hands blindly finding the buckles of each other's armour, and before long they were standing before each other in their small clothes, leathers, tunics and leggings littering the floor around them. He lifted her up and kicked aside armour, carrying her to the vanity. Placing her down, he collected a bowl, jug of water and cloth and began to wash the blood and dirt from her face and neck.

Kallian watched him, thinking there was almost a solemn reverence to his movements and the way he touched her and she thought she might weep with happiness, but she remained silent, her arousal building. When he was done, he dried her with a towel, wrapped her up in it and carried her to one of the chairs by the fireplace. He quickly washed himself and returned to kneel in front of her. Holding her face in his hands, he simply looked at her for a moment.

"What is it, Zev?"

His eyes met hers, something deeper than lust burning there, and she shivered. "Mmm, you are so lovely my dear, I merely wanted to enjoy the sight of you. Now, I wish to taste you, Kallian." He kissed her, his tongue teasing her lips.

She responded, fiercely. Her tongue probed his mouth, her arms and legs wrapped around him, and she pulled his body tight against hers. Pushing her back into the chair, he opened her towel and pulled at her small clothes, ripping them off. Cupping her breasts, he rubbed his thumbs across her nipples and kissed them. She was opening herself up to him, slinging her legs over the arms of the chair, and he kissed his way down her chest and belly, sending shivers throughout her body. Her hands pulled at his hair and wound into it, then trailed behind his ears and down his cheeks.

He looked up at her, while his fingers played with her flesh, slid into her body and toyed with the nub of pleasure hidden within her. She rolled her head back, her eyes half closed, lips parted, and sighed.

"Ooohh Zev, yesss." Her back arched.

Dipping his head, he kissed her belly and dragged his tongue down to her nether lips. She gasped as his tongue darted in and out of her, flicking and teasing her. When he rose to kiss her, she tasted herself on his lips and moaned.

"Zev, stand…" Kallian whispered hoarsely as she pushed him up.

She pulled his small clothes off and took him in her mouth while cradling his balls in one hand. Her other stroked his buttocks and thighs. Zevran held her head, his own tipping back as he revelled in the feel of her mouth sliding up and down his shaft while her tongue and lips teased the head of it. His knees began to feel weak and groaning, he pulled her up and lifted her, taking her to their bed. Crawling along her body, he rested on her and he kissed her again and again, drinking in the smell and taste of her, feeling her body beneath his.

"Zevran, I need you…please," she whispered as she slid her arms under his and up behind his shoulders, winding her fingers in his hair again, a sexual heat emanating from her.

"And I am all too happy to oblige you, mia cara."

He positioned himself against her body and pressed into her, slowly filling her. She rocked her hips against him and stroked his ears, prompting him to groan and thrust into her with more abandon.

"I want to ride you, Zev," she panted into his ear.

He lay on her and rolled them over, shifting them away from the edge of the bed. Hands on her hips, he watched with delight as she ran her fingers through her own hair, her raised arms making her lovely breasts all the more prominent, and rocked her hips back and forth as though she were riding a horse. She was doing something positively delightful with her muscles, as well, clutching him within her and before long they were crying out with pleasure as they reached the climax of their exertions.

Kallian settled next to Zevran, her head on his shoulder, idly tracing designs on his chest. They dozed off, napping until the sun dipped to the low horizon. Struggling against the temptation to enjoy each other again, they prepared for dinner.

xXx

They had dressed, Kallian's wild curls tamed into a single braid she left hanging down her back, and were about to leave when Zevran stopped her.

"Here. It seems an appropriate time to give you this." He pulled something out of his pocket and held it out in front of himself.

"An earring?" Indeed it was, gold with an emerald set in it.

He nodded. "I acquired it on my very first job for the Crows, a Rivainian merchant prince. He was wearing a single, jewelled earring when I killed him. In fact, that was about all he was wearing. I thought it was beautiful and took it to mark the occasion. I've kept it ever since…and I'd like you to have it."

He seemed reluctant to hand it to her, and she was hesitant to take it, knowing that no matter what this may mean to her, she had no idea what it meant to him. She thought it best to let him take the lead, saying only "It's beautiful, Zev."

"Don't get the wrong idea about it, you helped me killed Taliesin. As far as the Crows will be concerned, I died with him. This means I'm free, at least for now. It's really the least I could give you in return."

He moved now, taking her left hand in his, placing the earring on the palm of her hand. The moment he did so, uncertainty gripped him. This looked like a marriage ceremony. Was he binding himself to her? Should he? What if the Crows did come for him again? In that moment, he thought he could not bear the thought of losing her, or causing her pain and this…this could undo them both. And what am I to do, do exactly that and leave, breaking my oath? I shall drive myself insane!

"Thank you, I really appreciate it." She had a slightly peculiar smile on her face that touched him in a way little else had, save herself.

"It's meant a lot to me, but so have…so has what you've done for me. Thank you. I have no better way to say it."

Kallian did not miss that slip, certain that he had been about to say 'but so have you'. While she didn't think it wise to assume anything, this seemed a very promising turn of events.

"I do not have pierced ears," she breathed as she ran a fingertip over the jewel. "Does it hurt much?"

She intended to wear it, not to sell it or hide it away. A now all too familiar mix of pleasure and fear rippled through Zevran. "I suppose that depends. If you wish, I could fix the clasp so that you can wear it on a ribbon around your neck."

She smiled up at him and nodded, handing it back while she went to her collection of back packs to find a ribbon. Zevran pinched the prongs of the clasp around the post and held it up for her inspection. Kallian threaded a light green ribbon through the earring and tied it around her neck so it nestled in the depression at the base of her throat.

"Thank you, Zev." She kissed him and wrapped her arms around his waist with a sigh. "Come, I am famished!"

xXx

The great hall sparkled with candle light and smelled delicious. The high board was littered with platters of quail, pheasant, duck, rabbit stew, trenchers of crusty bread and carrots and potatoes from the estate's garden. There was, much to Alistair's delight, a variety of cheeses out and a sideboard held many baked goods. Kallian laughed as she caught sight of Sten, his gaze firmly fixed on the cookie tray.

Arl Eamon's voice rang out, inviting his guests to sit, and everyone drifted toward the high board. Leliana closed in on Kallian, the new bobble having drawn her attention from the moment Kallian and Zevran appeared.

"Zevran, you look very handsome this evening," Leliana purred as she pulled Kallian off to the side of the room.

"And what is that, my friend?" She asked, nodding to the ribbon around Kallian's neck.

"A gift from Zevran." Kallian smiled, fingering the jewel yet again.

"It is lovely. What do you suppose it means?"

Kallian looked to Zevran, who was leading Wynne to a seat, making the elderly woman blush along the way. Keeping her head close to Leliana's and her voice low, she replied "He presented it as a token of…appreciation for helping him earlier today, but I do not think that is quite what he intended to do. He looked positively frightened when he actually gave it to me, and when have you ever seen Zev look afraid? This is contrary to his training."

"Oh, my friend, I am so happy for you! I shall pray the Maker helps him see how good you are for him."

Kallian resisted the urge to roll her eyes, being far less devout than Leliana, and said only "Thank you."

They sat down on either side of Zevran who immediately looked a bit like the cat who swallowed the canary, flanked as he was by two beautiful women. Kallian's hand slid along his thigh and he reached for it, squeezing it gently. Wynne watched them with an approving smile and Leliana shot her a look that said 'I told you so'. Wynne nodded, toasting the young bard and chuckling a little into her wine glass as she drank.

xXx

As the evening wore on, members of the household retired for the evening and Kallian's party had sat in the library, around their elaborate 'campfire'. Alistair and Kallian had agreed to speak with Eamon in the morning to discuss their strategy going into the Landsmeet. Alistair then disappeared into a back corner with a book and fell asleep in a stuffed chair he recalled from his youth. "It seemed much bigger..." he had mumbled to no one in particular.

The others slowly headed to bed, leaving Kallian and Zevran standing at the fireplace, watching the flames sputter out into embers as they drank wine. When her goblet was empty, she turned to him.

"Zevran, let's go to bed." Kallian was feeling quite alert and energetic, considering the hour, and could think of several very delightful ways to tire herself.

He looked at her as though he had only just noticed she was there and an odd expression crossed his normally smooth features. "No, I...no. I mean no offense, I simply...No."

"I...ah, I am sorry. Perhaps that was clumsy of me..."

He busied himself with straightening his clothes and smoothing his hair. "Under normal circumstances, I would not hesitate. It's just...I do not wish to talk about it."

She reached out to put her hand on his arm, asking "Are you sure? You look like you want to talk."

Zevran pulled away. "Enough! I said...I am not interested. Can you not understand that? There are other things for you to focus on besides me, I am certain. Do...do those." With that, he put his goblet down and stalked off, tossing a curt "Good night." over his shoulder.

Kallian watched him leave and wondered for a moment what she should do. Follow him, begging him to tell her what was wrong? She knew what the problem could be – fear of betrayal, training that dictated attachments could get you killed, even the thought of being bound to yet another and not truly free – and she was hardly going to play the desperate damsel. Confront him? Perhaps, but she would have to be gentle. Uncertainty gripped her then, and she wondered if he were having second thoughts about them, could she talk sense into him or would he leave?

A sigh from behind her startled her out of her thoughts. Alistair appeared from behind the bookshelves.

"Kal?" He asked, rubbing his eyes.

She sighed. "How much of that did you hear?" Her lip trembled and she wanted to bite it off.

Alistair shrugged. "All of it."

Kallian snorted. "It's like living in the Alienage. Everybody knows what you're doing." She chewed on the corner of her lip, staring back into the fire. Alistair stepped closer and put his hand on her shoulder.

"He...adores you, we can all see it. Go talk to him."

"Why are you..."

"I care about you and I want you to be happy. Everyone can see the two of you are happy together." He watched her for a moment. "What are you waiting for? Go!"

"Thank you, Alistair." She kissed him on the cheek and ran out of the room, leaving him smiling sadly to himself.

"Well done, Alistair. Idiot." Raising his glass to the door, he downed its contents in one gulp.

xXx

Kallian reached their room and entered, closing the door behind her. Zevran was standing in the middle of the room, shirt in hand, looking as though he didn't know what to do next.

"What do you want?"

"What do I want? I want an explanation! You seem different...you are different. Are you having second thoughts about us?"

He threw his shirt onto the bed, avoiding looking at her. "Are you certain you wish to talk about this? I really do not know what to say..."

"Yes. I want to know what has changed. Please, Zevran, tell me what's bothering you."

"Very well." He sighed and began pacing around the room. "An assassin...must learn to forget about sentiment. It is dangerous. You take your pleasures where you can, when life is good. To expect anything more would be reckless."

Kallian sat on their bed, her heart beating faster.

"I thought it was the same between us. Something to enjoy, a pleasant diversion and nothing more. And yet..."

"Zevran, are you saying you're in love with me?" She could barely breathe.

He shrugged, holding his palms up. "I don't know. How would you know such a thing? I grew up amongst those who sold the illusion of love, and then I was trained to make my heart cold in favour of the kill. Everything I have been taught says what I feel is wrong, yet I cannot help it. Ever since we first shared a bed, I have been nothing but confused...Can you understand me at all?"

"I am no wiser than you in that area, Zevran."

"All I need to know is if there might be some future for us, some possibility of...I do not know what." He looked into her eyes.

"Zevran, I do not know what the future holds for us, but I know how I feel about you. I don't know that I could bear what's to come if you weren't by my side."

A look of relief crossed Zevran's face. "Then that is good enough for me." He knelt before Kallian, grinning sheepishly. "I am sorry for acting so strangely."

Kallian took his face in her hands and kissed him feverishly. "I love you, Zevran Arainai."

"I think I will be better now," Zevran said between kisses. "Much better."