Chapter 11

Summary:

63 years went by since Bella last saw the Cullen's. Without their knowledge Bella became a vampire. Now she pays them a little visit, but the Cullen's don't recognize her and she doesn't say anything and introduce herself as Marie. What will happen? What will Edward do? Can Bella as Marie make Edward fall for her, or will he be faithful to his true love (Bella)?

:)

I don't own anything, the wonderful Stephenie Meyer does. :)

Previous

I ran and jumped on him, knocking us both to the ground.

I held his hand firmly to the ground so he couldn't move.

"You still think so?" I asked, laughing at his shocked face. I guess it's the first time someone took him by surprise.

But not a second later I was on the ground lying, and he was above me, holding me firmly to the ground, just like I did.

"I know." He said.

We stayed in that position for a few minutes, both of us having trouble with breathing.

His eyes flickered to my lips every now and then, like he was going to kiss me.

Oh, how I wish I could feel his lips again against mine.

But then, he swallowed and stood up. Letting me go.

I looked at the ground disappointing. I know I shouldn't let my hopes up, but I couldn't help myself. I wanted to feel his lips moving against mine again. I wanted to feel like everything is alright.

"Let's go home." He whispered and started running.

I quickly followed him, but this time, I didn't try to outrun him

We ran for a few minutes when I remembered the beautiful cliff that we saw while we were hunting. I wanted to spend as much time as possible with Edward alone, and the cliff seemed to be the perfect place to do so. I would much rather go to our meadow, I wasn't there since I became a vampire, but I don't think Edward would like to go back there. At least not now. Well I guess there will always be the cliff. But, is it too late now to go there? I guess I'll never know if I don't ask.

"Edward?" I asked as I slowed down a bit. He was a pretty fast runner, but surly not faster than me, but I didn't let him know that just yet. He looked over his shoulder and saw me slowing down. He stopped and waited for me to come close where he was standing. When I was about five feet away from Edward I stopped.

He just stared at me, waiting for me to say something.

"I was wondering if… if we could go back to the cliff as we planned?" I asked looking at the ground. Why was I being so shy?

"Alice is worrying about us. We should go home and tell the others about the wolves." Edward answered in a wary voice.

I knew he wouldn't want to go back. But I have to try and change his mind.

"We could call her." I said.

"I shattered my phone."

"I still have mine." I remembered him.

He stared at me for a while deciding on where we should go. Home or to the cliff.

"Alright, we can go back to the cliff." A big smile broke on my face as I heard him say those words.

"Yes! Thank you!"

"But you have to call Alice!" he warned.

"Of course." I was already turning my phone on and dialing her number. It didn't even reach its first ring when I heard her voice.

"Where are you? Are you alright?! Why did you despair from the future?! Why couldn't I see you anymore?! Where is Edward? OMG are you in trouble? Do we need to come? Please tell me! Talk to me, damn it!"

"I would Alice, if you gave me a chance to talk." I laughed.

"I'm giving you a chance right now! So talk!"

I laughed again. I saw Edward reaching for the phone, so I said to Alice: "I let Edward explain everything."

I gave him the phone and went to sit on a fallen tree which was covered with moss, as I waited for him to finish his talk with Alice. I watched him as he paced around the trees, trying to explain to Alice that everything is fine. I watched as he run his hand trough his hair and as it became messier than it was before. I remembered the feeling of my hands running through his hair, I remember the softness of his hair and how he enjoyed when I messed with his hair. He would close his eyes and lean his head a bit so I could play with it. I loved the feeling when he would kiss me and I would bury my hands in his hair. And when –

"Ready to go, Marie?" I heard Edward ask.

I jumped a bit. I didn't realize that I closed my eyes and started daydreaming. I'm glad I can control my powers; otherwise I would be blushing now like crazy.

"Yes, sorry. What did Alice say?" I asked as we stared to run back to the cliff.

"She was worried, but I managed to convince her that we are aright and that they don't need to come and find us."

"It's nice of her to be worried about us. I mean –" He cut me off.

"I know. That's Alice; always protecting her family."

I smiled at that. Yup, that's Alice.

We reached the cliff and the sun was already up. It was around seven o'clock; the others would go to school soon.

Edward and I sat under a tree in the shadows and watched as the sun shined down upon the trees creating a beautiful sight. It was one of those rare days when the sun decided to show up, and I'm happy today is one of them. But I was sure that in Forks was still the cloudy weather, but thankfully we were far enough to be away from that weather, and see the sun again.

"Thank you." I heard Edward whisper.

I turned to look at him shocked. I didn't except to hear that from him.

"For what?" I asked carefully.

"For persuading me to go hunting. I really needed that. " he answered quietly. I knew it was hard for him to say that to a stranger.

"Anytime." I smiled to him.

We stayed in silence for a while.

"But I do have to ask. Why didn't you go hunting before? Why are you torturing yourself?" I asked him.

He looked ahead of him not saying anything.

When I though he wouldn't answer anymore, I heard him say. "I don't… I don't feel the need anymore. I just wanna die. I want to close my eyes and never wake up again. I want to despair from this world. I guess I thought if I don't go hunting for a long time, that I would be closer to death. But I knew it was no use, Carlisle has tried it and he had not success. But even knowing that, I didn't want to go hunting. I just didn't feel like to doing it." He continued to speak with a voice filled with pain. "I feel like I'm betraying her. She is long gone, and I'm still alive. I feel like I'm betraying her with just breathing. She is dead because of me, and I'm still here. It's not right. I said to her that I will follow her everywhere, even in death. But I broke that promise too. It's just one of many promises that I broke. And she was the one person that I wanted to keep all my promises to, and yet I broke almost all my promises. But I wanted to follow her. I wanted to be dead as well. I didn't want to live anymore. I still don't want to, but every time I plan on doing something, Alice would stop me. She would order Jasper and Emmett to stop me. They never left me alone. But after a few decades I gave up. I figured there is no use in trying to run away, when Alice sees everything. So I'm just moping around now. Trying to live, but at the same time I don't. How could I? She was my air, my sun, my life, my lost soul. Without her I'm nothing. I'm just an empty shell." Edward ended with a heavy sigh.

I stayed silent. I didn't know what to say. I would never image that he suffered so much because of me. I knew he was suffering, but not this much. It's almost the same pain I feel when I'm without him. You feel like dying, and you want to die, but at the same time you want to punish yourself by staying alive. But the pain in his voice… I've never heard that some could be alive with so much pain… but then again, I am one of them.

"But I don't think she would like you to be sad. I think that she would expect for you to be strong and to live like you used to before she came. I don't think that she would approve of this kind of life you're living." I said carefully. It was weird to speak of yourself in a third person. But I said what I really wanted from him.

"I know. I know that. She was so selfless, she would always think about the others than about herself. She would do anything to make someone happy. She would do anything to make me happy. She would be so angry if she saw me right now." He said, all the time looking in the distance.

He is right about that. I am angry at him for living like this! He should live like he used to! He should be happy again. But then again… I understand him; it's hard to go back after what we had.

"Then why don't you move on? Why don't you live your life again? Why do you torture yourself? You could at least try to be happy for her sake." I asked all those questions already knowing the answers.

Edward looked at me and asked "Did you ever fall in love? Did you ever found your mate?"

"Yes, I have." I asked looking down. You are my mate. I wanted to say.

"Where is he now? What happened to him?" Edward asked.

I looked away in the distance. "He left me." My voice broke.

"Why? You were mates, isn't it impossible to leave your mate?"

"It was different then. I was still human." I said. I was a human, and you were a vampire, as you are now. "And didn't you leave your mate as well?"

"I did. But I left to protect her. And that is one of my greatest regrets ever - leaving her. I could have stayed with her and protect her. I knew I was a danger for her, but if I tried a little harder maybe we wouldn't be here where we are now. Maybe she would be still alive."

"Do you ever regret meeting her?" I asked. I always wanted to know that. Did he ever regret meeting me? Did he regret for loving me and letting me in his life?

"No! Never! I would go through this pain a thousand times over, but I wouldn't ever wish never meeting her." He said in a firm voice. I was overwhelmed with happiness hearing that. "But what happened to your mate? Why did he leave you?"

What do I tell him now? He left me because he thought he and his family would hurt me? Because he was afraid that he would kill me? Because he wanted to protect me?

"I don't know. He came just one day and said that he didn't see a future with me anymore. I guess with me being human, there was too much caution. He wanted to live free. I'm just guessing. He never gave me a true reason. But I knew he wasn't coming back. It was a sudden decision. It all happened in a few days. I loved him. I still do. He was my mate, and I let him go. But I don't think I could have stopped him from going. "

"What was his name?"

If I used my middle name now, then I'm going to use his as well. "Anthony."

"I'm sorry. I know how it feels." I hear him say. I shrugged. "When did it all happen?"

"I stopped counting." I lied. "But over 50 years, that's for sure."

"You think he's still out there?"

Yes, he's right beside me. "Well, I guess. It's hard for a vampire to die."

"But, don't you think that he would come back if he's your mate? It's hard to stay apart for so long."

I stayed quiet for a few moments.

"He doesn't know that I'm a vampire." I whispered.

"Really?"

I nodded. "He wouldn't recognize me anyway. I don't look like my human-self."

"Why?"

I shrugged. "I guess I don't want to have anything to do with my past life."

Edward nodded.

We stayed in silentce for the next few minutes.

"Tomorrow will be 63 years since I left her. The day before you came - actually a few hours before you came, since you came in the early hours - it was her birthday. I left her four days after her eightteen birthday." I nodded. I tried not to remember that day; I didn't allow my memories from that day to come out on the surface.

Again, silence surrounded us.

"Why don't we make a deal?" I asked Edward.

He turned to look at me. "What do you have in mind?"

"Let's try to move on. Let's try to live again. You and I have a very similar love–history, maybe we could help each other. I can help you, and you could help me. We should try to move on for the sakes of our loved ones." I said looking him in the eyes.

"I don't think I could do that. I don't think I can move on without her. I don't think I want to move on."

"But let's try! She would want you to be happy again. She would be happy to see you living your life again. Let's do this for Bella and Anthony." As I said my true name, I saw him get tenser, and his eyes glazed over. There were tears that would never fall.

"I... I can't…" his voice broke.

"But let's try!" I repeated. "Let's just try."

"In the past 63 years all I thought about was her, how can I change that now? She is always in the back of my mind."

"I can help you with that. I can shield the thoughts about her."

"But I don't want to forget about her!"

"You won't, I promise. You will be able to remember everything whenever you want, I will just make sure that the thoughts about her don't come uninvited in your mind. You won't forget about her, you'll still remember her, but you'll be able to think without her in the back of your mind. Let's just try. If you don't like it, I will remove my shield around your thoughts and everything will be as it is now."

"I don't know, Marie. I'm afraid I will forget about her. I don't want to forget. I love her." And my dead heart felt like beating again…

"You won't. It's impossible for a vampire to forget. And you said it yourself – you love her. You can't easily forget about her. I saw the pictures in your room, of the two of you – I assure you, I won't let you to forget about her. You have your family too; I don't think they will forget about her either. Please, let's try to move on. I want to move on as well. Let's help each other!"

He looked in the distant again. I sighed. I should have known that he won't agree on the suggestion of moving on.

We stayed silent again for about ten minutes. It was already One O'clock; the others would be soon home from school. They would be a little worried if they saw that we're not home yet.

"I love you, Bella. Please, forgive me." I heard Edward whisper; it was so quiet that I had trouble hearing it. He then turned to look at me.

"I accept your deal. We will try to move on. I don't promise your anything, but I will try."

A large smile broke on my face. "Thank you!" I practically yelled and did something what neither of us expected – I throw my arms around him and hugged Edward. It was something I did on reflects, but the moment our skin touched I could feel the same old sparkle. This time his skin wasn't cold, this time it was the same temperature as mine. But the sparkle I missed so much, startled the both of us and the moment I figured what I've done I moved my arms from around his neck and moved a bit away. As much as I missed him, I can't act like that around him.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to." I said looking at the ground.

"It's alright." He said and stood up. He looked down at me and held his hand out for me to take it. I took it, and the same sparkle appeared again, we both looked at our hands. It would be a little problem if the sparkle appeared every time we touch, Edward could figure it all out. After a minute Edward broke out of his trance and helped me get up.

"Why don't we go home? We're long enough out, I think the others will get worried a bit, I never was this long out."

"Aright." I said as I began walking slowly in the direction of our home.

"Wait." I heard him say and he appeared in front of me.

"Yes?"

"Can you please shield my thoughts? As much as it pains me, I think it would help me."

I laughed. "Of course." I concentrated on his thoughts about me and put a shield around them. "There you go."

"Thank you. It's funny, how it feels like the right thing to do, yet at the same time, it feels like the second worst mistake I'm making. Like I'm betraying her. " He said silently.

"You're not. You'll be betraying her if you keep acting like you were till now. If you go against what she would want for you. I think that would hurt her more."

He nodded.

"Okay. I think the next step should be enrolling us both in the school."

He looked alert. "I don't –" I cut him off.

"Please, Edward. We have to get over some stuff. I know that's the school where you two met, Rose told me, but you have to go there to help yourself. Don't worry; you'll have your whole family there with you, including me, too."

"Ok, but we'll go the day after tomorrow, on Wednesday." He said.

"Aright, but you won't be alone tomorrow." I said in a firm voice.

"Why?" he asked despaired

"You told me yourself what day's tomorrow. I won't let you mop around or something." I don't think I can be alone tomorrow as well. "We'll go to Seattle to buy you a new phone, and I have to buy myself a new car."

I saw he was going to say something. He opened his mouth but I beat him "You won't win in this discussion. We're going tomorrow in Seattle." I said in a firm voice.

He looked at my face and saw I wasn't kidding. He shook his head as he turned around and started running.

I smiled in victory and ran after him.

This played out better than I thought it would.

A.N.

Hi! I hope you like it, there is a bit more of Edward and Bella, and it will be so in the next chapter!

I would like to hear your ideas, do you think about how this story would play out? How will Edward found out that Marie is Bella? Or how it would end? Of course, we are nowhere near the end of this story, but I wanna hear your ideas. I bet none will guess what will happen in the end!

I can't believe I got 22 reviews on the last chapter! Thank you, thank you soooo much! It really means a lot to me!

And as always, I have a special THANK YOU, for all those who reviewed last time:

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