Hey guys. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Apparently I'm not capable of "counting like a normal person…" I'm sorry :/ (and again, especially to beautiful redemption, what has it been? Three weeks since I promised a chapter? – sigh-) School has been kicking my butt already and I'm struggling to keep on top of everything which is why I haven't been updating. Hopefully I'll get the hang of this whole school thing again soon. Also, someone suggested to me that I make a blog so I can keep you guys updated on whats going on if youre curious without having to post obnoxious author's notes and talk about the story. So I did .(the address is also on my profile) you should check it out. I'll post sections of chapters as I right them and clues to what might happen later. So yeah, hope you like the chapter (even though its overdue and not that good for the amount of time it took me..) please please leave me a review and stick with me even though im the worst updater ever(and tell me if you're going to check out the blog ;) ).
My blog is dangerous games (without the space of course) dot blog dot com
SORRY THIS CHAPTER SUCKS!
Tiger-Lily Baker
I trace the edge of the wooden picture frame with my index finger, feeling the grooves and bumps time has worn onto it. Encased in the wood and glass frame, my mother smiles back at me. She looked like me, or rather I look like her. We both share the same white blonde hair and clear grey eyes. Or at least we used to.
My mom died when I was only 9. She was the one that was always there for me even in my lowest moments and losing her was like losing part of myself. She seemed to always be the calm one when things were bad. Always. I press my hands to my forehead in an irritated manor, willing myself not to think about her. Today can't be one of those days. I let my hands slide down my face as I focus on my 13 year old brother's steady breaths through the peeling walls.
The thud reverberates around the room as I drop my head back down onto the pillow and my eyes move rapidly about the room. I try desperately to convince myself how interesting my room suddenly is to prevent the tears already forming in my eyes from falling. But I can't. It's the same popcorn ceiling, the same rusty door hinges, the same flower wallpaper, but most importantly, it's the same old me.
A lone tear streaks down my face as I tear the worn blue comforter off of my body and place my feet on the cool floor. The entire house seems to groan and each footstep sends a vibration through each and every room. I walk as softly as I can towards the communal family bathroom to prepare myself for the day. I slip into the bathroom quietly and shut the door behind me before gazing at myself in the mirror. The grey eyes seem calm, alluring that my soul is the same. How deceptive. My insides are tied in knots and my heart has taken a visit to my stomach.
There's no such thing as calm on reaping day, maybe qualms but no calm. I sweep my icy blonde hair into a messy high ponytail and give my face a quick wash. Feeling as ready as I'll ever be, with a parting sigh, I fling the white bathroom door open and put one timid foot in the hallway. I glance to the right towards my dad's and my 3 older brother's rooms. All of the doors are still closed so I decide everyone still must be asleep. I move into the hallway and start towards my bedroom at the end of the hallway.
Well I guess this is why they say look before you leap.
I slam directly into my oldest brother Jayden. His eyes dance with humor as give him a not so playful punch to the arm. "Geez! You scared the crap out of me!" I say as I suddenly realize that my hand is clutching at my chest. He shrugs nonchalantly and moves towards the now open bathroom.
"You sure you had enough time Lil? I mean you could still count the hairs on your head." I shake my head with my eyebrows raised and begin to flounce off down the hallway before replying. "Nah I'm good. The bathroom's all yours. You can feel free to count your muscles….oh wait." I burst into my bedroom with the trace of a smirk still on my face before he can think of a comeback. The quiet vibe of my room absorbs me almost instantaneously as I glance out my window quickly. The patchy grass of district 12 almost seems even more embarrassing with the 'sophisticated' peacekeepers trouncing around on it. I pull the semi sheer curtains closed over the window before making my way to my closet to decide what to wear.
The wooden doors fly open at the slightest touch to reveal fairly sparse closet. There is one outfit though that stands about against the hoard of pastel colored t-shirts and tank tops.
The crisp white one sleeved shirt jumps out at me like a jack in the box in a child's toy. It's my favorite thing of my mother's. Her calm yet assertive personality is represented in both the shirt and a pair of red heels that she gave me for my 9th birthday. It's literally the nicest thing I've ever gotten, so I treat it like some sort of precious valuable and keep it in a clear garment bag in the back of my closet.
Things weren't always this bad, I mean the state of the house, the lack of fresh clothing, the lacking amount of food in the fridge…
I can remember a time when my wallpaper clung tightly to my walls, my windows were always clean with flowers planted outside them, and when I never had to wonder if there might be a dinner in the fridge. My mom brought out the best in my dad. Her at times painfully optimistic way of life was intoxicating; you couldn't help but be cheerful around her.
When she died everything changed. My dad was sort of out of it. He was there, but not fully. We made small talk, he made dinner, I tidied up the house. But even the process of acting like everything was ok wasn't fooling any of us. Slowly, my dad fell into a sort of depression or suppressed way of living. Nothing seemed to matter anymore; I didn't seem to matter anymore.
But then she happened. My step mom Angie. At the time, she covered her controlling, intrusive, and all around bitchy personality with silk scarves, floral perfumes, and designer shoes. She seemed nice, but a bit like a beautiful peacock, she seems sweet but is actually fierce and vicious.
Sure in front of my dad, she was all sunshine and smiles, but once she was around my brothers and I, ie- the people she didn't need to impress, the façade melted and a whole new woman appeared. It's a bit of a mystery to my why she took an interest in my dad but I try to not think about what her motives could be.
I pull the unsoiled top out from underneath the plastic bag and onto my cool skin. It fits tightly, but not so tight that I look like a might burst out of it. Unconcerned about the bottoms I wear, I grab a pair of dark wash skinny jeans from the 5 high stack and slip them onto my body before completing the outfit with the shoes.
The air suddenly seems cooler as the sound of the peacekeepers outside my window grows louder by the second. Desperate for a sign of friendly human life, I head downstairs and head towards the kitchen where the sounds and smells of breakfast are already happening.
The cool morning light pours in through dirty double hung widows that rest above the splintering wooden front door. With the living room on my left and the kitchen on my right, I sit down at the antique table separating the two rooms and trace the metal studs embedded within it with my finger. I can hear Jayden and one of my other brothers Ciaran arguing over how much butter to put in the biscuits and my littlest brother Lucas molesting some sort of insect trapped in a jar.
Slowly but surely, all of my brothers eventually trickle into the kitchen but still no sign of my dad. Deciding that sitting around waiting for him to wake up is a bad plan; I finally make my way to the kitchen and wade through the shenanigans.
Ciaran and Jayden are by the fridge rummaging through it looking for something, Lucas is making faces at the bug, my 17 year old brother (and best friend) Austin is attempting to fix a cabinet door that hangs loosely on its hinges, and finally, my little step sister Raleigh stands in the middle of it all. I can't help but laugh as she peers around with wide, amused eyes with a bright red lollipop hanging from her mouth. I cross the chipped floor tiles to her and sweep her up in a big embrace. Her fiery red hear flies in my face as I twirl her around, prompting her to squeal with joy.
I laugh to myself as I set her back down and she wraps her short arms around my knees and squeezes. She shouts something at me in the gibberish language that all 3 years old speak and then looks up at me with a toothy grin. I just nod with a smile and pretend to have understood what she said.
I pick her up again and carry her back to the living room as Ciaran and Jayden begin to break out the profanities when one of them drops a glass salt shaker. Smirking to myself, I carry her wriggling body towards the living room and plop down in a lumpy chair when I see him.
My dad is lying on the sofa, arms splayed about, completely unconscious. I freeze for a second, uncertain of what action to take. In the meantime, I shift my body so that Raleigh is facing away from the heinous sight.
That's the other thing about my mom dying, my dad become a bit of a raging alcoholic and Angie only encouraged it. At least he's not an angry drunk, just a totally useless one. Finally sure about what I'm going to do, I shoo Raleigh back into the kitchen, taking care to make sure she can't see her step father. As soon as she disappears from sight, I turn on the sleeping man and give him a rough shove. He wakes almost immediately at my touch and his bloodshot eyes shoot open to look at me. I let out a frustrated gasp at the sight of him and furiously lean down next to his ear.
"Dad!" I hiss, "What the hell are you doing?" not waiting for a reply, I tug his limp body off the sofa and give him a shove towards the stairs. "Get dressed," I whisper yell, "today is the reaping!" As he thumps up the stairs loudly, I realize that Austin had been watching the exchange and is now giving me a pitying look. I roll my eyes and walk towards him feeling incredibly frustrated. "I haven't given birth so I don't understand why he acts like my child." I say sarcastically, running my hands through my hair. Austin gives a small sympathetic smile and offers a weak pat on the back.
"It really sucks Lily, I know." We share a short-lived hug that lasts only seconds before we are interrupted. The front door swings open violently and I powerful looking redhead steps across the threshold. Angie.
Completely oblivious to the turmoil going on inside the baker residence, she shoves past my brother andI, calling for my dad and Raleigh.
"Tim!" she calls out in a falsely sing-songy voice as she pokes her head into the hallways in search of her husband. All my brothers and Raleigh pile out from the kitchen and behind Austin and I. Angie, unsuccessful in her search, flounces back into the kitchen with an expression of displeasure on her face. At the sight of Ciaran's and Jayden's tray of biscuits, she reaches down and plucks one from the sheet and pops it in her mouth. Before anyone can say anything, she spits the food back out and wipes her mouth on the back of her hand.
"Disgusting." She proclaims, as if we really cared about her opinion. She slams the door behind her on the way out and leaves us standing in silence. My mouth hangs open at her blatant disrespect and Raleigh begins to sob loudly.
I look up at the ceiling for a moment and try to pretend that I'm not here, not having to do this, but I am. As Jayden sets the tray down shakily on the table, I feel a tug on my arm. I turn to see that Austin is trying to get me to leave with him. We excuse ourselves as leave while Ciaran hands Raleigh a biscuit and the rest of the family sits down to eat. Austin and I walk slowly, beginning to head towards the town square. I'm thankful for the break from my stressful life even though I'm about to enter the most stressful situation of my life.
Austin and I talk the morning's events over in detail and Austin confirms that I did the right thing with dad.
"I hate that we have to deal with this," I say quietly, "I mean I'm 16, and you're 17, we shouldn't have to be parents." Austin sighs loudly in agreement and shrugs.
"Its too bad we can't trade parents." I give a small laugh as the two of us come to the town square at last. The bell hasn't rung yet but when it comes to the reaping, its better to be early than late.
The two of us get into the already long line and wait our turn amongst the plainly dresses children of district twelve.
"Hand." I thrust my finger forward and do my best not to flinch as I feel the prick. Once on the other side, Austin and I exchange one last hug before separating into our sections. I stand amongst hundreds of other 16 year old girls and wait nervously for the ceremony to begin. No one I know is near me so I stand silently, trying to prevent myself from shaking.
I didn't take too much tesserae, only 2, like the rest of my brothers so in my rational mind, I know that it's unlikely that I'll be picked, but under the stress, my rational mind is completely suppressed.
I'm almost relieved when the powerful silence is lifted 15 minutes later when our brightly dresses escort, Minka, begins to speak. Her high pitched and cheerful voice introduces the film to us before moving on to the girls names.
The crowd goes silent as the thousands of district twelve residents hold their breath.
"Tiger-Lily Baker."
11,999 people release the breath they'd been holding all at once, all except me. Surely my ears are playing tricks on me, there's no way I could've been picked. The crowd of girls around me press backwards, leaving me in an empty circle. My eyes dart around wildly, was it only this morning that things like biscuits and drunken fathers mattered to me? As I take the shaky steps up the stairs to the stage, I can't help but think that those things are no longer of any importance. I stand with what I think is an emotionless face as I watch all 4 of my brothers pushing through the crowds trying to get to me.
They all look completely distraught, but the person's face who breaks my heart the most is my father's. Not because he's upset, or trying to help me. No.
It breaks my heart because he looks like he doesn't care. Maybe no one does.
Just another "sorry this chapter is late and really sucks". Please don't hate me.