A/N: This was based on something that happened to me in real life. Take calmer, slightly more rational Tash as OutCold, and losing it, intolerant Lucas as VousDevezChanter.
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They had been abandoned, thrown out the car for bickering, by McGee, at a bus stop. Tash sat down in the shelter beside Lucas, "What do you want to do? The next bus in our direction isn't for half an hour... there might be one in ten minutes, but I think it's the one going in that direction." She pointed in the opposite direction from the way they wanted to go.
"I'm dying." Lucas, as far back in the wooden bus shelter as he could get, had small, but growing sweat patches under his armpits. Tash wisely chose to ignore this.
"Yep, I'm sure you are. Hot, sweaty, and waiting for bus."
Lucas grinned, "We should write a play called that." He held up his hands, captioning what he was saying, "'Hot, Sweaty, And Waiting For A Bus!'"
About five minutes passed, Tash was sitting on the floor near the front of the shepter, with the sun tanning her skin. Lucas, pale as ever despite the sun that had blazed down on him for the last five days, sat at the back, moaning about the heat.
Tash nodded. "So? What do you want to do? We could walk on to the next stop. Just for something to do."
"Or we could go back to that village we passed and get a drink."
"We're just going to end up sitting here talking about what we should do till the bus gets here, aren't we?"
"Probably, at least it's providing some conversation."
"Yeah." They fell silent for a couple of minutes, until Lucas stood up and walked over to the edge, peering up and down the road.
He frowned. Tash looked round, "What's up?"
"Why are there so many cars going up there? What's so brilliantly exciting in that direction?" He pointed up a side road.
Tash glanced round the edge of it, "I think there's a couple of electronics shops up there, and a way to the main road."
Lucas wasn't really paying attention to the latter reason and a couple of minutes later asked, "What's so exciting about an electronics shop?"
Long suffering, Tash repeated, "I think there's a way onto the motorway."
"Ah, cool."
More time with limited conversation passed. Lucas asked for maybe the twentieth time, "How long is it till the bus should get here?"
"About five minutes." Tash checked her phone.
"Where are you bus?" Lucas leant out again, this time staring towards the roundabout. "Wait, that's a bu- No, it's going that-ah way." He pointed down the road that led away from them, facing across the road.
"Where are you bus?"
He muttered in a slightly sing-song voice.
"Where are you bus?
Why aren't you here?
Why ar-en't you,
Pi-i-cking us up?
Where are you bus?
To pick up Tash and I?
Waiting for you bus,
Why aren't you here?"
Tash rolled her eyes, laughing, before she realised that Lucas was going to continue, non-stop for another five minutes.
"Where are you bus?
Tash, what's the time?
("It should have arrived about a minute ago.")
Why are you late?
Where are you bus?
You're killing Tash and me,
Particularly Tash,
Whose rest-train-ing herself,
From throt-tel-ing me.
Where are you bus?
Making me sing,
For five minutes min-utes
Or more
("How long are you planning on going on for?")
Till the bus arrives,
B'cosnowit'snotjustasong
It's a matter of pride.
Where are you bus?
Where are you bus?
I'm hot, sweaty and waiting for a bus."
The note of finality in that line made Tash perk up hopefully, but Lucas was only taking a two second throat break.
"Whre are you bus?
Why aren't you here?
Why are you late?
My friend the bus,
Will you hurry up?
Because Tash is about to go mad.
It's too late for me.
I'm sing-ing this song,
Bu-ut for Tash:
Where are you bus?"
Tash over the next four minutes, became more and more stressed as the awful singing, tuneless and toneless issued from Lucas' lips. "Could you please shut up, Luke?"
He shook his head and continued on with the chorus.
"Where are you bus?
Why are you late?
Why haven't you come?
To save me from my fate."
"Kill me," Tash muttered, but Lucas did not hear her as is warbling grew in volume.
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Eventually, after almost ten minutes of non-stop singing, Lucas and Tash, sat in the bus. The cool, air conditioned bus. They sat down, Lucas grinned, "I call it 'Where Are You Bus, brackets, Hot, Sweaty And Waiting For A Bus'. It's the opening song for our play."
"Great."
"But, now it's stuck in my head." He started humming the tune on the full bus.
Tash hissed, "Lucas, shut up!"
"Oh-o bus, I'm so glad you're here...."
Tash once more looked as if she might cry.
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Those lyrics were made up by VousDevezChanter, while sweating to death, waiting for a bus in France. This is a shortened, yet reasonably accurate description of what happened. Hayley, well done for not slaughtering me, Lucas was really getting on my nerves while writing this.