Chapter 11
I was in love with my client. Wow…I'm totally fucked.
(Edward's POV)
"Do you want to go shopping now?" I asked after a quiet couple more minutes of our embrace.
I didn't want to ask but I didn't want to seem like I was extremely happy because we were hugging. I know…very weird for a guy to be thinking or feeling that because of a hug but I loved her. All I wanted to do was hold her close to me and enjoy this small intimate moment.
A moment that didn't involve anything too intimate like sex. And it made me even happier that she seemed to be clung to me. Like she didn't want to let go. It made a heart skip a beat in happiness and joy. I just wish I could tell her how I felt. How she made me feel. But I knew that if I did it would scare her away.
And the last thing I wanted to do was scare her away. She hesitantly pulled away from me making my heart speed up in joy and drop in disappointment at the same time. She stared into my eyes and I was completely mesmerized. Those beautiful dark chocolate eyes wouldn't let me look away.
She pursed her lips and nodded in response. She slowly got off my lap and sat down on the limo seat again. I followed her movements and pressed the button to talk to the limo driver, "Okay we're ready to get down," I informed him. I relaxed my posture against the seat and looked over at Bella.
She was looking out the window absentmindedly. I wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her a bit closer to me. She leaned in and rested against me at the same time. I very lightly pressed my lips to the top of her head and smiled as I rested my head back against the seat.
I brought my head back up and lightly started running my fingers up and down her arm, "Are you going to want to me to let you shop alone?" I asked.
"No…I want you to tell me what you think. I wouldn't want you to get mad because it's inappropriate or something. Plus the clerks kind of scare me," she confessed as she took my other hand from my lap and ran her fingers over the skin on my palm.
My heart hammered in my chest. I felt like this confession, that I loved her, was eating me up inside. I wanted to tell her. I needed to tell her. But I just couldn't do that. The consequences of that choice would have me broken in pieces in seconds.
I smiled trying to not think about my confession. "You won't pick anything inappropriate," I assured her before I chuckled lightly to break my mood, "You're scared of the store clerks?"
"Yeah…have you seen these chicks? All they have to do is stare at you to eat you alive," she told me with a smile in her voice. I was pretty sure that if I looked down to check she would be smiling.
And it made me smile. "Don't worry…I'll protect you." And I would. No matter what.
The limo slowly lurched to a stop. I opened the door and stepped out of the limo. I extended my hand out for her to help her out. She took my hand with a smile and stepped out of the limo. She took one step and tripped over the edge of the sidewalk.
My heart beat in my chest faster than a speeding bullet in fright that she might hurt herself. I quickly brought my arms around her waist and stopped her from hurting herself. Her face fell into my chest causing my heart to beat even faster.
She lifted her head up and looked up at me sheepishly, "Oops." I could help but smile. This woman had seemed graceful to me and yet she still had a bit of a klutz inside of her. I was a bit glad about that. I didn't want someone that was graceful naturally. I wanted someone that I could take care of and who could take care of me.
I closed the limo door with one arm and kept my other arm around her waist as she got on the sidewalk beside me. "You okay?" I asked with a small smile.
She smiled back, "Yeah…I'm fine."
I looked away from her and looked at the stores that were around us, "So which was the one you went to first?" I asked.
She pointed to the shop across the street, "That one."
I looked over at it before I took her hand and started leading her across the street. Whoever it was that said what they said to my Bella would be in for it. Big time. As soon as we were in front of the store I stopped, "This one?" I asked.
She nodded before she let go of my hand and walked in. I'll have to admit that I was a bit disappointed that she didn't want us to walk in together. But I had other things to worry about right now. Like getting whoever it was that made my Bella upset fired. She walked over to this beautiful black dress.
An older woman walked over to Bella and glared at her lightly. I could already feel my blood boiling. "How many times do I have to tell you that you can't be in here?" her voice came out bitter. And all I wanted to do was go over there and put the stupid bitch in her place.
I could tell by Bella form that she was afraid. I didn't think she was actually afraid of store clerks. Guess I underestimated her. She slowly turned around to face the clerk. You could easily tell that the older woman intimidated her. She seemed mute. Speechless on what to say. She was biting her lip. I habit I realized she did when she was scared or nervous.
That's my cue to go in. "Do we have a problem here ma'am?" I asked the older woman as I approached Bella from behind.
"I'm sorry sir I'll make sure to remove the filth as soon as I can," she looked back at Bella with a glare. I looked down at Bella to see her head move back a bit. I couldn't register why but I could have been because this stupid bitch was scaring her.
I clenched my jaw and placed my hands lightly on Bella's shoulders, "I'm sorry what did you just call my girlfriend?" my voice came out as menacing as I wanted it to. I wanted to scare this chick just like she had scared my girlfr–Bella.
Maybe I shouldn't have called her my girlfriend. That can scare her off can't it? Plus now I'm going to want to introduce her as my girlfriend when she isn't. Although I wish she was.
"I'm sorry what?" she asked taken aback.
"This is the second time that my girlfriend has come in here to look for a dress," I said with an intimidating voice. There I go again calling her my girlfriend. Well I guess if I want to play this out well I'll have to introduce her that way.
"I'm sorry but her kind isn't allowed in here. She'll scare off the customers that can actually purchase something," she looked back at Bella with anger in her eyes.
She looked down at her feet. In shame? Embarrassment? Either way I didn't like it. I could feel her shaking lightly underneath my hands. Was she crying? Or was she scared?
I moved my hands down to her waist, "Can I speak to your manager?" this was sure to make her get scared.
Her eyes widened in shock and fear, "What?"
"Let me speak to your manager," I repeated in a hard voice fro my annoyance.
She glared at Bella before, "He'll be right with you," she turned around briskly and stalked towards the back of the door.
I turned Bella around and looked at her in the eyes. She wasn't crying. That was the good thing. But she did seem a bit ashamed and scared. "I'm sorry. She had no right to talk to you like that."
The corner of her lips twitched as she tried to smile. But she couldn't do it. All I wanted to do was hold her in an embrace and make her feel safe and confident. "It's okay," I tried to sooth her with those two simple words, "Don't worry we'll put these people in their place."
"Hello," we turned around to find a slightly taller bald man in front of us, "I'm Jonathan the manager. May I help you?" I could tell by the tone in his voice that he was annoyed that I had asked him to get his lazy fat ass up to talk to us.
I moved beside Bella and extended my hand out, "I'm Edward Cullen," I introduced myself with a fake smile, "You see this beautiful lady right here?" I asked as I looked over at Bella.
"Yes sir," he responded back dully.
I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer, "Do you have anything in this store as beautiful as she is?" She smiled up at me with a small blush enveloping her cheeks.
"Oh yes," he responded back. I looked back over at him with a serious face that definitely said I meant business with his stupid answer.
"Oh I mean we have things as beautiful as she wants them to be," he was trying to kiss my ass now…but he definitely needed more practice with that.
I slipped my arm away from Bella and guided the manager away from her a little bit as I thought carefully about what I was about to say, "You know you're going to need a few more people to help because we plan on spending an obscene amount of money here," I smiled at him, "So you're going to need a lot more people sucking up to us that way we really like you. Do you understand that?"
His eyes widened I excitement. He instantly understood that I was made of money and that I stepped into his store wanting to buy a lot off of him. "Sir you are definitely in the right store," he responded back as he walked back to the back of the store with a small hop to his step.
I turned around and lightly placed my hands on Bella's hips, "So what exactly do you want from here?" I asked.
She smiled and turned around to point at the black dress she had been admiring earlier. I loved it. I could just imagine her in it. She'd look like a goddess. Like a queen. My queen.
"You definitely have to take that dress," I whispered to her as I rested my chin on her shoulder.
"If you can follow me ma'am," a woman asked breaking our little moment. Or my little moment I guess. I just wanted her in my arms and I couldn't get it. She looked at me as if asking for my permission. I nodded back with a smile.
She walked over to the couches and the clerks did their rightful jobs. I walked over to the counter and started looking through some newspapers that were there. The manager approached me a while later, "Uh…exactly how obscene in amount of money were you talking about? Just profane or really offensive?"
Bella looked over at me and smiled. I looked back down at my paper, "Really offensive," I answered immediately.
"I like him so much," he replied back to himself as he started walking away. I looked at the back of his head a bit amused and confused before I looked back at Bella. She looked at me once she looked at the ugly thing that was in front of her.
I shook my head with a disgusted look on my face. She looked at the lady and told her something. They placed a mini black dress in front of her and she looked up at me. I smiled at her with a quick nod to my head. She would look absolutely gorgeous in that. But then again I think she'd look gorgeous in most things.
I walked over to her after they had a couple outfits for her to buy, "How about we try some of them on?" I asked.
She stood up, "Sure…which one first?" she asked.
"The one we first came here for," I looked through the pile of clothes and found the black dress at the bottom of the stack. I handed it over to her and she took it before heading for a dressing room.
I walked over to a comfortable chair and waited patiently for her to change. After a few minutes she stepped out of the dressing room barefoot. My heart started to race at the sight in front of me. She looked utterly gorgeous. I hesitantly stood up and looked her over. The dress clung to her body perfectly, hugging her every curve.
The gap from her navel and between her breasts, where the dress was opened up at, made me want to go over and run my fingers over her delicate skin softly.
She slowly spun around and looked down at it, "So what do you think?"
I slowly walked over to her, "You look unbelievable. You should definitely wear that one tomorrow," I told her as I lightly placed my hands on her waist. She turned around and looked at herself in the mirror. She smiled. She seemed more confident than she had earlier. I smiled at her wanting nothing more than to hug her or kiss her.
"Okay now go and try on the rest for me," I told her before I lightly tapped her bottom to make her move towards the dressing room. She grinned back at me as she walked back into the dressing room. I wasn't getting bored watching her get dressed into beautiful sexy dresses. But after an hour or two I got a phone call.
"Hello?" I answered as I walked away from Bella as she talked to one of the ladies that worked here.
"Hey Ed, we need you to come in so we can go over sound check. I think we have a problem with one of the speakers," Henry informed me.
I sighed and looked over at Bella, "Okay I'll be over there in a little bit." I hung up and walked over to Bella, "I have to go check something out at the studio," I handed her my credit card, "Buy anything you want. I'll meet you back at the hotel. The limo will be outside waiting for you," I lightly kissed her cheek and left. "She has my credit card," I announced to the manager on my way out.
I told the limo driver to take her anywhere she wanted and called out for a cab to stop. I got into the cab and told them where to go. It was a couple minutes from here. I looked out the window and thought about Bella. No matter what I did I seemed to always be thinking about her. I couldn't get her out of my head…even when I'm with her all I could think about is her.
She's got me completely head over heels for her and she doesn't seem to notice that. I wouldn't even care if she stayed with me for my money. I just wanted her by my side. Always.
I got to the studio and sighed before I gave the cab driver my money walked over to the building. As soon as I stepped inside Henry came up to me, "Where were you at?" he asked.
"I went shopping with Bella," I informed him as we started walking together towards the stage.
"The hooker?" he asked incredously.
I stopped walking and looked at him with a slight glare, "Don't call her that," I warned him.
"Well that's what she is," he said with a small chuckle as I approached the piano.
"I don't care," I told him as I sat on the piano, "I don't want to hear that."
"Okay," he raised his hands up, "I'm sorry I won't."
"Thank you," I told him as I ran my fingers over the keys.
"We may be able to shove your father off the list of best pianists' if you get good reviews tomorrow," he informed me as I started walking to the microphone that was in the front of the stage.
"Well…that's good…I guess," I told him before I tapped on the microphone. You could hear the tap from the right side of the building but not the left.
"You guess?" he asked as I started walking towards the studio room in the back to fix the problem. He followed hurriedly behind me, "You've been wanting to shove him off the list for years…what's changed?" he asked.
I opened the door to the studio and went over to the left side of the studio room to fix the problem. I didn't respond to that. What had changed? What had made me not want to get revenge on my father anymore? I knew the answer to that question.
It was Bella. She had gone on with her life not really knowing what real parents were. My father wasn't the best but he was all I had left. Bella had no one. Well she had me but she didn't seem to notice that. All I wanted before her was revenge on my father. To have him suffer like I had. But now it's not as deep as it used to be.
I didn't realize how much I had changed because of her. I never thought it was possible for a woman to be able to change a man for the better. I had always thought it was stupid and impossible. I guess I was wrong.
"It's the hooker isn't it?" I stopped pressing the buttons and looked up at him with a fierce glare.
"Dude you can't let her change you. She's going to ruin your career," he pleaded.
"I don't care," I said distinctly through my teeth before I flipped the switch for the speakers on the left to play.
I walked out of the studio and went through the hall until I was back on stage with the piano and microphone.
"Well I do care," he responded back as he breathed heavily from trying to catch up with me.
I walked over to the microphone and tapped on it again. You could hear the tap echo through the building now. I turned around with a sigh towards Henry, "Anything else?" I asked.
"The piano needs to get in tone," he said with an angry face still etched on his face.
I walked over to the piano and started fixing it, "You need to forget about this…girl and start thinking about your career. She's nothing. You can't let her win over your life when she's going to be leaving it soon," he reasoned.
I sighed and stepped away from the piano once I was finished, "I don't want to talk about this anymore. Is that all you need from me?" I asked impatiently. I just wanted to get away from here and go home to Bella. She was all I needed to feel better and to be happy.
He walked over to the piano and grabbed a folder off of it. He took out some sheets of music and handed it to me, "Look over the notes. We don't want you messing this up."
I took the papers from him and started walking out of the building, "See you tomorrow Henry," I called out to him as I walked out the front door. I whistled to a cab and got in before I let out the long dreadful sigh I needed to let out.
Henry was only a good friend when it came to music. Other than that I couldn't really count on him for anything else. He got me so made when he was talking about Bella like that. He didn't know her like I did. And I was hoping that know one else knew her like I did either.
After a long few minutes we arrived. I got off and paid the cab driver before I walked into the building. "Good evening Mr. Cullen," the stupid blonde from before said to me with a smile.
I just ignored her and walked over to the elevators. I was surprised that I wasn't hungry. I don't remember eating today. I shrugged it off and got off the elevator once we reached my floor. I walked over to my door and slide my card in before I walked inside.
It was pretty quiet. I could hear music playing lightly in the bedroom. Bella was probably sleeping. I sighed and locked the door before I started looking through the notes again. I'm pretty sure I won't forget them. I am the one that created the piece in the first place.
Still looking through my piece of music I started walking towards the bedroom. Once I was in the bedroom I realized that the light was still on. I looked up from my papers and my eyes widened in surprise from the sight in front of me.
Bella was sitting in the center of the bed with nothing but I formal jacket on that was barely covering her delicate breasts up. I felt as the papers slipped from my fingers and fluttered to the floor but I couldn't get my eyes off of her. And she was enjoying this for sure. I could tell by the smile on her face.
"Nice jacket," I managed to say as I stepped around the papers and made my way towards her.
She smiled wider, "I got it for you."
I got on top of the bed and made my way over to her. She bit her lip making me want to kiss her like there was no tomorrow. But I needed to show a bit of self control…didn't I?
I stopped in front of her with my knees underneath me, leaning over her, and looked into her eyes deeply. She seemed surprised about something. I could see the shock in her eyes but I couldn't figure out what about. And at the moment I really didn't care.
I was starting to think I had no self control. I placed my right hand behind her neck and my left hand slipped underneath the jacket stopping on her side delicately. Her skin felt cold under my hand. She shivered from my touch lightly. My chest was heaving a bit from my erratic breathing.
I just hope it isn't too noticeable. I leaned my lips closer to hers making her part hers slightly. I softly brushed my lips on her top lip making her part her lips more. I wanted to take this slowly. Even if I felt like I was about to lose all my self control I made myself be patient.
I made myself be gentle and loving. I pulled her a bit closer to me by bringing her neck closer with my hand. My left hand ran up her side and stopped beside her breast. Her breathing was getting a bit erratic as well but it was only noticeable because I was kissing her.
My thumb lightly caressed the side of her breast before I finally kissed her for real this time. I kissed her normally instead of gently. I wanted to be gentle but I was starting to lose control. I managed to slowly start leaning her back. She moved her legs out from under her and I moved one of my legs to the other side of her thigh so that I was on top of her.
I felt as her jacket opened up underneath me. I pulled away from her lips slightly and looked down at her body. I couldn't help it. I am a man after all. I moved my hands to her hips and lightly started sliding them up her body, feeling her every curve. Her chest started heaving up and down like mine was. Her erratic breathing becoming more visible now.
I stopped once my hands reached her breasts and looked at them for awhile. They looked so delicate and soft. Not to mention plump. I brought my finger up and lightly–as light as a feather–touched the area around her nipple. I was not only trying to get her aroused I was managing to arouse myself in the whole process.
She had clamped my lips shut when I had glanced up to look at her. I didn't want to forget this. To forget her. I wanted to remember every line and curve on her body. I looked back up at her making her relax my lips quickly as if not to let me see but I saw it anyways. I leaned back over to her lips and kissed them softer than I ever had before.
She slowly reached up and started unbuttoning my shirt quickly but not too quickly. She pulled my shirt off my shoulder and threw it to the ground. My heart thumped as erratically as my breathing in excitement.
I pulled away to look at her, "You look better without the jacket," I told her breathlessly in a thick deep voice. I couldn't make the voice go away even if I wanted to. I was too aroused to fix it.
I slipped my hands up to her shoulder and slid the jacket off before throwing it to the ground as well. She ran her hands down my chest until she reached the button to my pants. She unbuttoned them and slid them down as much as she could. I kicked my pants and boxers off to the ground before I pulled the covers back beside her.
I didn't want her to be completely exposed while we did this. It seemed too animalistic if we did. Plus I wouldn't want her to get cold. Although what I'm about to do to her should warm her up immediately.
She pulled the covers under her, arching her back up to pull them underneath her. I grabbed the edge of the comforter from the other side of her and threw it over my back so that we were covered. As soon as the comforter covered us completely I leaned down and started kissing her neck lightly.
She started breathing heavily from her mouth as I caressed her neck in kisses. I don't care how much I want to do it I will take my time to make her feel happy and loved. To make her feel important and cherished.
She ran her hand up to my back and ran them up and down in a soft caress. My kisses turned into soft nibbles once I slipped inside of her. A soft moan escaped her lips causing me to inch deeper inside her. I closed my eyes in pleasure and stopped nibbling her neck for a couple seconds as I moved within her.
I moved my soft lips up to hers and parted her lips with my tongue gently. My tongue danced gracefully with hers making her dig her finger pads lightly into my back. I inched deeper causing a deep yet low moan escape my lips and into her mouth.
She moaned back in response and ran her hand down to that one spot in my lower back that brought pleasure through me instantly. A pit of my stomach instantly quivered in excitement. She pressed down into it lightly at first letting the pleasure release inside me slowly. My movements within her became deeper and slower.
She pressed down on it quickly and quite suddenly. I was expecting it at all. The pleasure rushed through me making me accidently bite her lip. She shivered lightly as her breathing became more erratic and I felt myself slipping inside of her with much more ease.
I pulled away to look at her lip, "Sorry I–."
She quickly pulled my lips back to hers and kissed me like it was something she needed. Like it was air she needed to breathe in. She pressed back down on my back and I moved deeper within her as I felt myself harden in arousal and desire.
She pulled away from the kiss to catch her breath and looked into my eyes. I couldn't stop myself. I couldn't stop to just focus on her eyes. But it didn't stop me from looking back as I moved inside her with my own need.
And I noticed something as I looked into them. I could see the sense of safety she was feeling. The passion and arousal…I thought I saw love but then again I was a bit too busy down there to analyze everything in them.
I realized what we were doing in that moment. Why I hadn't wanted to call this sex in the first place. We weren't having sex…sure some people call it that but it wasn't just plain old sex. It was passionate, it was a necessity. It was so clear now. How did I not see it before?
We weren't having plain old sex because we were making love. Something I had heard about before. That I had never had with Chelsea. And it was amazing. I was making love to the woman I loved. It all made sense now. When we had first made love I knew it was different. I felt connected with her and I had never felt like that Chelsea. I never felt connected. I always felt like she just wanted to have sex with me because she was bored or because she was angry.
It was never real. And I had always knew that but I hadn't realized that until now. I'm hoping I'll be able to catch myself before I say things like 'making love' and 'I love you' to her. I never wanted her to leave my side. I wanted her to be with me or next to me for the rest of my life. If I could have her for the rest of eternity I would.
She pressed down deeper where her fingers were on my back and I grew harder than I had before. It was more noticeable now. I felt as her body shuddered and started heating up underneath mine. She was starting her orgasm and I was extremely happy that she knew what it was now.
She blinked as if I had broken her out of her train of thought and looked into my eyes. She had never looked away and neither had I. I slowly lowered my head down and kissed the tip of her nose. I then moved over to her eyelids making her close them in content and traveled to her forehead and cheeks. I wanted her to know that I loved every inch of her and that nothing was bad about her at all.
She was pure in my eyes and that's all that mattered. My fingers lightly ran over the skin on her neck and hip. She smiled against my lips but I couldn't really understand why. The only thing I could think of was that she was liking what I was doing to her.
She brought her hand up to my hair and ran her fingers through it as her right leg started folding upwards. I grunted lightly against her lips in pleasure from her sudden movement. My hand moved up her hip and I started lightly moving my fingertips over the skin on her right leg that was beside my waist.
That movement alone had her whole body shiver in delight causing the heat in her body to rise. Her body got warmer underneath mine. A small grunt escaped her lips which were against mine. Her lips parted against mine to get air. My name came out in a soft small whisper out of her lips.
I speeded up a bit more making her suck on my bottom lip desperately as she reached it. Her high point. Her orgasm. My named passed through her lips in a deep yet slightly loud moan. My body went rigid in arousal. I was starting up mine just as she was finishing hers.
She slowly started turning me onto my back. The comforter twisted more around us but still kept us covered. My heart raced in my chest in anticipation. She got on top of me with a renewed energy and enthusiasm and kissed me softly yet persistently.
My hands instantly placed themselves on her hips as she moved them rhythmically against mine. I lightly squeezed them as she inched me deeper inside of her. My chest was heaving under hers as she continued kissing me just softly now.
She moved her lips away from mine and trailed kisses down my neck. She reached a certain area on my neck that made me grow hard and moan at the same time. I could feel her smile against my neck in satisfaction. I was getting there. And I wanted nothing more than to get there because I knew how good it felt when it happened.
My hands started moving her hips against mine a bit rougher which she seemed perfectly fine with. She closed her eyes for a second as they lightly rolled to the back of her head before she opened them up and looked down at me.
She moved my hips faster against mine and went back to kissing me down to my chest. A couple more moans escaped me before I brought one of my hands up and brought her lips back to mine.
The kiss was more passionate as she moved faster against me and my chest heaved faster against hers. I moved my hand back over to her hips and moved my hands down to her thighs. I grasped onto them making her gasp a bit against my lips. That gave me the perfect chance to spin her back to her back and continue the rhythm she was going at.
I pulled her thigh up against my waist making both of us moan in pleasure at the same time. She wrapped her leg around me making me move faster within her. I was trying to kiss her to keep from calling her name out but it didn't work. Every time our lips separated even a centimeter her name would escape my lips and come out as a deep loud moan.
After another half hour or so I collapsed on top of her making her body relax underneath mine. Her leg slowly slid off me and rested back on the bed. I slid out of her but stayed pressed up against her left side. My head rested on her shoulder as I took her hand and lightly caressed it with my thumb.
We were both trying to catch our breaths. Her head was rested on the arm that had her hand. My other hand was lightly running along the skin on her stomach. I loved her. There was nothing else to it. I was deeply in love with her and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. But I didn't want to do anything but tell her.
I just wanted to let her know that she was the most important person in my life now. That she was the only thing that mattered to me. That without her I would simply die slowly from her absence. I needed her beside, underneath me, it didn't matter I just needed her any which way. She needed to be with me.
After a couple more minutes our breathing was back to normal and we were just soaking up each others presence. I gently kissed her collarbone, "You are beautiful," I continued traveling up her neck, "And incredible." She giggled lightly with a grin, "And you are exactly everything I want."
I reached up and kissed her lips. She moved her head to the side so that it was easier to kiss me back. I pulled away from the kiss slightly and kissed the tip of her nose before I rested my head on her shoulder again. I was hoping with just that, that she would figure out that I loved her. Because that was basically what I had just told her.
She leaned the side of her face lightly against my forehead. "You are like no other man I've met in my life," she whispered to me, "And that's in a good way," she added.
I chuckled lightly before she moved her head back a bit and kissed my forehead. I picked my head up and looked at her once she pulled away. I wanted to tell her. I needed to tell her now. But I didn't want to see her get out of bed and leave me. I didn't want her see me in any situation.
I held my tongue and continued gazing down at her. She smiled up at me lightly before she lifted her hand up and ran her fingers through my hair gently. I was starting to have a debate in my head on whether not to tell her or not. But I just couldn't.
I pursed my lips and leaned down to kiss her lips again. She moved her lips rhythmically with mine in a gentle caress of a kiss. She pulled away and looked over at the time behind me. I didn't care how long we made love. All that mattered was that we did and she was in my arms right now.
I gently pulled my arm out from under her head. I rested my head on a pillow and looked at her. She turned to her side, her back towards me, and rested her head back on a pillow. I slipped my arm around her waist seconds later after she had gotten comfortable.
I didn't want her so far away from me. If she was going to leave at the end of this week I needed her by my side as much as I could. I needed to cherish every moment I had with her.
I pulled her towards me until her back was up against my chest. I smiled as she nestled closer to me. I kissed the back of her shoulder and wrapped my arm tighter around her. She placed her arm over mine and intertwined her fingers with mine. I flipped my hand around that way I was holding her hand as well.
I was starting to have hopes. She wanted to hold my hand and hold me close. That's got to mean something right? You don't hold someone's hand for no reason. And you don't hold someone close to you unless you want to be closer to them.
"Good night," I whispered into her ear lightly.
She shivered slightly "Good night," I could hear the smile in her voice. I was happy that she was happy. I couldn't feel anything but content through out my entire body. I closed my eyes and nuzzled my face into her shoulder before I fell asleep.
I was dreaming about her. About her eyes. About her mouth. About her skin. About every single inch of her. And I was kissing every single inch of her. And I felt extremely happy because she was telling me she loved me. That she never wanted me to let go of her. That she wanted me by her side every minute of every day.
And I didn't feel suffocated by it like a normal guy would. It was exactly what I wanted. I never wanted her to leave me. I never wanted to let her go. And if that's what she wanted than I was more than happy to do it. She was all I needed to live, to breathe, and to be happy.
I was awakening from my dream to a slight touch on my neck. I didn't want to wake up though. I was going to fall back to sleep when I felt something nibbling on my ear, "Edward," a beautiful voice I knew all too well whispered into my ear.
I scrunched up my face because I really didn't want to wake up before I slowly pried my eyes open and looked at Bella from the corner of my eyes in confusion, "What's wrong?" I asked a bit groggily.
"Nothing," she replied back quietly. I turned my head more towards her so I wouldn't strain my eyes, "Do you want to take a bath with me?" she asked me in a whisper.
A bath…at this time? "Right now?" I asked a bit confused and surprised. Why would she want to take a bath so late?
"It's just…I can't fall asleep," she confessed to me.
I smiled at her, "Still excited about earlier?" I wouldn't mind making love to the woman I loved again. If that's what she wanted that's what she would get.
She smiled back before she leaned down and pecked my cheek a couple times. I hadn't realized that her hand was on my chest until now. Her hand was running up and down my chest lightly. I moved my head a bit more and caught her peck on my lips. She kissed me lightly before pulling away, "Is that a yes?" she asked with what looked like hope in her voice and eyes.
I grinned at her, "How can I resist someone so beautiful?"
She bit her lip lightly and took my hand from under the covers, "Come on," she said as she tugged on my arm.
I sat up and looked her over. She was completely naked. And it seemed like she didn't seem to notice that herself. She looked down at herself before looking back up at me. I couldn't help but admire how beautiful she was both body and soul. There was nothing ugly about her. And I couldn't help but smile up at her.
She smiled back and pulled on my arm, "Come on," she said with a small chuckle. I stood up and she started leading me to the bathroom. As soon as we reached the tub she got in and looked up at me. "What are you waiting for?" she asked with curiosity in her voice.
"Where am I supposed to sit?" I asked as I looked at the tub. Did she want me to sit on the other side? Or did she want me to…? I can't even think of a different place to sit that doesn't seem like I want to just make love to her. Which I wouldn't mind but I doubt that's what she wanted right now.
She patted the water in front of her, "Come on the waters warm," she encouraged me. I smiled at her lightly but I still couldn't picture myself sitting there. Not without making love with her. She took in a gulp of air making me look over at her in concern until I realized she was getting under the water.
She went under the water and got back up, "Come on the waters going to get cold," she told me as she wiped the water away from her face.
I finally decided to step into the tub but I stayed on the other side. She frowned a bit, "You really think I invited you so you could stay on the other side?" She reached over and yanked me over to her. "Turn around," she told me.
I did what she told me and turned around so that my back was to her. She pulled me up against her. My head was resting on her chest and my arms were rested on her legs that were by her sides and bending so that her knees were sticking out of the water.
She grabbed the loofah from the counter that was on the right side and dipped it in the water with bubbles before she started slowly rubbing it against my chest softly.
"Are you asleep?" she asked me after a short silence.
"Far from it," I replied back truthfully. She was reawakening feelings in me that I hadn't felt for a couple of hours.
"Have you played music all your life?" she asked to break the silence I assumed.
"Kind of," I replied back reluctantly.
"What do you mean?" she asked. That's why I was reluctant. I don't like talking about my past but I guess for her I could do it.
"I used to play the piano when I was little but when I turned seven my parents were going through a divorce. My dad fought for custody over me. He was also a pianist but my mother soon figured out in the marriage that every time he went away to play for a concert that he slept with someone from around the area," I sounded more depressed than I wanted to.
"Wow…no offense but your dad's an ass," she told me.
I chuckled lightly, "No offense taken. I think he's way worse than an ass."
"Why?" she asked.
"Well my father ended up winning custody over me and my mother was devastated," I continued.
"Wait, how did he win?" she asked a bit baffled. I lightly ran my fingers over the skin on her arm. She had stopped scrubbing my chest for a bit.
"He had the best lawyer out there. Won the case easily and took privileges away from my mom to see me," I wish I had a different dad. I don't really know what I did to deserve such an awful father.
"That's terrible," she whispered devastatingly.
"My mom stopped working and stopped her entire life just to try and win me back. She ended up getting some disease and she died when I was eight," my voice was barely above a whisper now. It was hard to get the words passed my lips.
"I'm sorry," she whispered to me.
"The thing that pisses me off the most is that it was a curable disease. Since my mother had stopped working she had no money. She asked my father for help but he told her he didn't care," I paused a bit to take in a shaky breath, "He could have saved my mothers life and he didn't. I hated him. As soon as I turned eighteen I moved out of his house and started my career as a pianist."
"Wait I'm confused…you hate the man but you followed in his footsteps?" I guess she didn't catch the 'ed' at the end.
"No I didn't do it for him. I did it for my mom. She was the one that encouraged me to play the piano when I was little. And even though my dad does the same thing I do it because of her. Because she would have wanted me to do this," my voice had started uptight but soon turned soft towards the end.
"Do you like playing the piano?" she asked curiously.
Why does she want to know about me and the piano so much? "Yeah…it's my way of escaping the reality of this world. Of just listening to something that makes the world seem like a much better place. Have you ever done something that made you feel like that?" I asked curiously.
"No but it seems easy enough to understand," she seemed saddened by the fact. A small silence took over the room again as she started scrubbing my chest again. I lightly ran my fingers over the skin on her upper thighs and knees. "So what ended up happening to your father?"
"He had been on the top of the list of great pianist…that is until two years ago," I have to confess that even though I didn't want revenge anymore and I didn't really care about shoving him off the list anymore I was a bit happy because of that fact.
"What happened two years ago?" she asked.
"I pushed him off the top," I replied back with a smile in my voice for sure.
"No wonder," she replied back. I could feel her moving something behind so I assumed it was her head.
What does she mean by that? "No wonder what?" I asked truly curious.
"You don't notice it do you?" she asked with a smile in her voice.
Notice? Notice what? What is she talking about? "Notice what?" I asked out loud and confused.
"Have you ever noticed the way you move your fingers along my skin when were having sex?" the word sex didn't seem right rolling off of her tongue. I suppose if you're not in love with the person or you've never been in love with a person you can't differentiate the difference between love and sex.
"No…how do I move them?" I asked as I ran my fingers up and down her bare leg. Don't I just run them along her skin like I doing now?
"You drum the tips of your fingers over my skin like you're playing a piano," she was definitely smiling. I could hear it loud and clear in her voice.
I do that? Oh gosh how embarrassing. I moved my head to a side to look at her face, "Seriously?"
She smiled and brought her free hand up to run her fingers through my hair above my right ear, "Yeah." I was definitely humiliated now, "Don't get embarrassed. I like it."
I looked at her a bit confused, "Why?" Why would she want me to treat her like an instrument? Gosh I feel horrible. I'm such a mean person. She probably thinks I'm just using her. Just playing with her like I play my piano.
She shrugged a bit, "I don't know…I guess it just makes me feel…special."
Special? How would that make her special? But than I guess if it makes her happy I shouldn't be feeling bad about it right? I gazed into her eyes deeply, "You are special Bella. Believe me."
She leaned down and lightly brushed her lips against mine. I brought one of my hands up and placed it lightly behind her neck. She pulled away after a minute or two and leaned her forehead against mine with a smile.
I brought my hand back down and placed it on her leg as I smiled back at her, "You know…" I started, "I've never told anyone about my parents before." That would make her feel more special right? All I wanted to do was make her happy and if I had to tell her how special she was to me then I would. Over and over until she understood.
She seemed confused, "But what about your ex-girlfriend?"
I shook my head lightly, "I never told her. I never thought she would understand. And I thought that if I told her my mom died of a disease she'd think I had a disease or something." I never told Chelsea anything. I don't see what I saw in her in the first place. And why I stayed with her for so long.
She cocked her back to the side a bit as if in thought, "Is your dad still alive?"
I looked into her eyes as I nodded, "Yeah although not for long." It was hard to love my dad. I don't I ever did. He was such a bad father when I was little. And now he's an even worse father. I don't know if I'll be sad when I find out he finally died.
"Why? What's wrong with him?" she asked as she straightened her head.
I pursed my lips, "He slept with too many women. He has aids," I informed her. Maybe I shouldn't have told her. I just hope she doesn't think anything of it. I know she wouldn't think I think she has aids or anything because she told me she took care of herself good.
When she said she took care of herself she meant with birth control and everything right? I mean I haven't used protection since the first time or two…I think. If she doesn't take birth control for sure by now she'd be pregnant. I couldn't help but feel a bit happy by that thought.
She could have a little baby inside of her that we created together. Someone that was created by our love. Or at least created by my love. And I wouldn't be upset about it. I'd be happy. I want nothing more than for her to be with me and for us to start a family.
"I'm sorry to hear that," she told me honestly. It took me awhile to remember what we had been talking about before.
"I don't want to sound mean or evil but he got what was coming to him. I mean he got aids because he slept with too many women without protection when he was with my mom. And now he's the one dying of a disease. The only thing is…his disease is incurable." Why couldn't I shut my stupid big mouth?
She lightly touched my cheek with her fingertips, "I don't think your evil. You're absolutely right. He got what was coming to him," she paused and dropped her hand away from my face. My heart dropped from the small movement. She looked like she was about to break bad news or something. And I didn't like it.
"It makes me realize that one of these days I'm going to get what's coming to me," her voice came out a bit sad.
"Don't say that," I told her as I reached up and touched her cheek lightly. Why didn't I just shut up? I can't she actually believes that. I don't want her to think that. Nothing is going to happen to her when she's with me. Nothing bad that is.
"I'm a prostitute. One of these days someone's going to end up killing me just because they didn't want to give me their money or something. It's what happens to most of us. That's why they're always new faces at the corners. Because one of us either got murdered or died of aids and you only find one or two cases where the man actually bought the girl to become his wife or something," my heart tore at the sound of her pained voice.
"It won't happen to you," I told her in a firm voice. I couldn't–no I wouldn't let it happen to her.
"Yeah it will and since I'm like 100 percent sure that I won't get aids I'll most likely be the one to get murdered. Gosh I just hope its quick–," I placed my hand over her mouth my heart not able to bear the pain that was coming because of her words.
She looked at me confused. "I don't want to talk about this," I told her with a soft voice.
She gazed into my eyes still confused before she nodded her head. I slowly brought my hand down and placed it back on her leg. "People actually buy you to get you to marry them?" I questioned in a low voice after a long silence. I wonder if she'd marry me if I offered her everything in this world.
"Yeah, usually the guy will become attached so he'll confess his love for her but she won't feel the same. Most of us have put this guard up to protect ourselves from emotions," she explained, "But if the man offers enough money she'll accept. Not many of us are that lucky and a lot of us are picky about who we'd accept to."
Guard? Do I even have a chance? Would I be her type? Could I even offer her anything she'd want? I doubt it. "When will you stop being one?" I asked in hopes to hearing the answer "soon" come from her sweet lips.
She pursed her lips and stared down at the hand that was on my chest, "I don't know if I'll ever stop being one. I don't really have anything else going for me."
"You can always go back to college," I suggested. I don't want her going back out there. I want her here with me.
"I don't have money for that," she responded back automatically.
"I can give you–."
She shook her head interrupting me, "No. You've already given me enough. I don't need anymore money from you." If she doesn't want my money than I have nothing to give her. She would never want to be with me.
"But I want to help," my voice came out in a soft desperate plea.
She reached back up and touched my cheek, "You've helped enough Edward." She moved the loofah lightly up my chest after a short silence of just looking into each others eyes, "Do you ever think about getting married?" she asked spontaneously.
Yes. With you. Always. "All the time," I replied back before I relaxed against her and rested my head back on her chest. This was an odd position we were in but I liked it.
"So then you're one of those sensitive guys," she told me with a smile in her voice.
"Whoa what?" I asked as I arched my head back to look at her.
She smiled at me, "You heard me," she taunted.
"You think I'm sensitive?" I asked faking to be hurt by that fact.
She grinned at me, "Yeah you are, I mean what guy ever thinks about marriage? And what guy ever thinks about someone other than themselves?" She leaned over and pecked my lips, "You know this is actually a good thing because there are women out there that are looking for a guy like you."
But all I want is you. "What about you?" I asked.
"What about me?" she asked a bit confused.
"You never see yourself getting married?" with me?
"Sure…I mean every girl dreams about that but what are the chances of that happening to someone like me?" she replied back with a shrug.
"There's nothing wrong with you Bella. You're beautiful, intelligent, kind…any man would be crazy not to love you," please catch the meaning to my words? If you figure it out it'll be so much easier to just tell you straight out that I'm I love with you and I don't want you to ever leave me.
Just please open your eyes so that I can get this off my chest. It's eating me alive, Bella. I need to tell you. I need you to know that I love you with all my heart and that I don't ever want to be without you. Because you're the person that makes me whole. You're the only reason that my heart is beating today.
Now if only I could tell her that out loud.
A/N: I so didn't expect this chapter to be longer. I guess I can write in Edward's POV better than in Bella's. Anyways I hope you like the chapter. Its mostly the same thing except there was some stuff in here that was different and we got to see how Edward felt about everything.
Well thanks for reading! And I apologize for the long wait but I've been having some drama in my life lately. And if I'm not in a good mood than I can't really write…so sorry.
Words:10000
Characters: 40580
And according to my Microsoft word this is 42 pages! That's freakin the longest chapter I've ever made! Lol I'm so proud of myself *grins*
Thanks again! Please review because your reviews is what makes me heart go thump thump. LOL review por favor!