just as there are malevolent/benevolent mythological creatures in general, there are those in the same species that are of either spectrum. kappas are no different, although most see them as the mischievous type.

ps: i fell asleep at the computer and my cat hit some keys so i think i got everything but if there is an odd sentence/random letter/word, please let me know so i can fix it ^^;

The revelation shook Kagome to her core as she stared at InuYasha, who was looking at her with such haunted eyes.

"W-what?" she asked in disbelief.

"They made me eat him…"

"And you didn't try to not?" she asked, no malice in her voice.

InuYasha's haunted expression suddenly changed into anger and he glared daggers at her.

"Do you really fucking think that if I had a choice in the matter I would have done it?! Huh?! I didn't want to do it! I wasn't very fond of the kid but I would never in my entire life eat him!" InuYasha suddenly began to hyperventilate, running his hands through is hair. "Do you really… do you really think that I wanted to kill him and eat him?!"

Kagome realized what she had said and grabbed InuYasha's hands, pulling them from his hair before he tore chunks of it out.

"InuYasha! InuYasha, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to say it like that… Hey!" She made him look at her. "I'm not blaming you nor am I accusing you… I promise. I'm just… I'm in shock. I mean…"

"Please don't make me explain it. Please, Kagome, please…" he whimpered, leaning his head into her. "Please…"

"I wish I didn't have to but I need to understand. I mean… how do you know it was him?"

"I don't want to talk about it!" he screamed, shoving Kagome away. "I don't want to talk about it!"

"Okay, okay… I won't make you. I promise… I'm sorry." Kagome went to him and pulled him 1into her arms. "I won't make you talk about it."

InuYasha sobbed into her stomach where he was sitting and she was standing. She rubbed his head softly, trying to get him to calm down. He had been living with this guilt, this horror, for three months. It had to be taking a toll on him.

"InuYasha, you need to rest."

"I can't."

"You have to try. You're not yourself and you'll just hurt yourself. I'll make you some hot tea, okay?"

He nodded and she helped him get into bed. He curled up and turned away from her and she walked away. When she closed the door, she threw her hand over her mouth in horror, trying not to vomit. She couldn't believe what had happened. What could make it even possible for him to be able to just eat Shippo? She had to know…

Sango had the kappa tied up and when Kagome came back out, she pointed to him.

"He says he's got something to say."

"Damn right he's got something to say." Kagome growled. "Tell me everything you know about what's going on."

"May I first say that despite what you all believe, I did not want to deceive you all with that form."

"Cut the crap, kappa." Sango growled.

"Sango, please…" Kagome said softly.

Sango made a face at her and pointed to the creature.

"He and his companion just played us with their disguises, making us believe that Shippo and Miroku were with us and-"

"Shippo's dead." Kagome said forlornly.

Sango blinked for a second and turned her head in confusion.

"What?"

"Shippo's dead… InuYasha just told me."

Sango rounded on the kappa as he moved away from her a little to keep from getting hit.

"How could you? How could you do that to a little kit!?"

"Please let me explain. It wasn't my doing and I swear upon Suijin that it wasn't my will or choice to be illusioned as the young fox kit."

"Then you'd better make your explanation really good because even if Kagome doesn't want to do anything to kill you, it won't stop me." Sango hissed, cracking her knuckles.

The kappa gulped and Kagome just pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Just tell us what happened and how you ended up with this… role or whatever."

"Certainly. First, my name is Nyth, and I'm a very low underling of the Kappa King. With his rise in power and the realization that he can use the water in our heads to give us the illusion of other people, he has been using us lower kappas to do his dirty work. Usually he has one of us infiltrate a town and warn them about the Kappa King. Since most people," he said, throwing a hard glance at Sango. "believe that kappas are incapable of doing anything else but mess with people in the rivers, the villages often to not believe us. Then the Kappa King comes, kidnaps the citizens and the process continues.

"When he was able to procure your yokai friends, he was over the moon with the power of his newfound abilities. When he realized who you were through threats given by almost all people within your traveling party, the Kappa King wanted to capture you, Ms. Kagome, the most. So he separated the group and threw the former yokais into the dungeon. There, they were subject to many, many tortures… one of them being the poor fox kit."

"You're not really telling us any information." Sango mumbled.

"I have found that just coming right out and saying things does not exactly bode well with your species." Nyth said matter-of-factly.

Sango had to admit that he was right about that one. Nyth turned back to Kagome.

"InuYasha was stronger in will than the Kappa King took him for. By then he had already broken the former daiyokai, but InuYasha was so sure that you would come for him and your friends. The Kappa King wanted to shut him up once and for all... so… he…"

Nyth seemed almost as upset as Kagome and InuYasha were and Kagome touched his tied up arm.

"Take your time. I just want answers that I know InuYasha can't give me right now."

Nyth nodded, the water in his head sloshing a little, and breathed in.

"First he starved InuYasha for a few weeks and kept the neck chain on him at all times, pulling on it spontaneously so that he was usually off guard and weak. Once the Kappa King thought he was weak enough, he brought Shippo in. Before this, the Kappa King had already imprinted the fox kit's image, characteristics, and memories into me. I was now watching what would unfold… They… they did so many things to the poor child and made InuYasha watch. Everything time he tried to go to him, they would yank the chain harder and harder into the wall, until sometimes his eyes would roll in his head, but he would still try and save Shippo. For three days they made him watch and for three days that poor little kit suffered.

"Then, one day, I was told to deliver food to InuYasha. It was on a fancy silver platter. I looked under the covering and found hot soup with meat in it. I thought of how nice it was to try and get InuYasha's strength back. He was so weak by then that I had to feed him myself as he laid against the wall. He kept asking me where Shippo was, but even I didn't know. For another three days, he ate well and hearty. Then on the fourth day, the dish was different this time: it was a small piece of meat with a slice of bread. I fed it to InuYasha but before I left, one of the high underlings of the Kappa King came down and smiled at InuYasha.

"'How have your meals been?' he asked. InuYasha didn't really answer him and he only smiled. 'Have they been alright? Help you get your strength back?' he mocked. 'What do you want?' InuYasha asked. 'I want you to tell me that that was an amazing soup. I'm sure having some of that meat gave you some strength.' 'Where's Shippo?' InuYasha asked. The high underling only smiled in a strange way. InuYasha could tell something was going on. 'You won't tell me how good the soup was.' After a brief second I realized what he meant but kept my mouth shut. Due to the head beatings, InuYasha didn't realize it until a few moments later what had transpired; when he did, though, he lost all color and began to vomit. They released him from the neck chain and he crumbled to the floor. I left as soon as I could, wanting to gag myself. As kappas, it is true that some of us eat children, but we have never forced those of another species to do it. I was then directed to wait for you and here we all are."

Kagome actually did heave and then ran to the window to vomit into the grass.

Sango turned to him.

"Are you saying that InuYasha ate Shippo?"

"Precisely."

Sango's eyes filled with tears and she ran her fingers through her hair, her other hand on her hip. She leaned against the wall, trying not to break down. Kagome came back, although pale, and sat in a chair to calm her nerves.

"Poor InuYasha… he's been having to deal with this horrific memory all this time and here I was just…"

"Ms. Kagome, there was no way you could have known about it." Nyth said. "I realize the words of a kappa are nothing in this situation but I truly am sorry for the loss your party has received."

"How can you be sorry for us when your king is going around turning people into children so that he and his underlings can be fed?" Sango growled, tears silently falling from her eyes. "You act like you can empathize with us but you're just as bad and you know it."

"Actually, my village is quite peaceful and most of the villagers leave me cucumbers and vegetables as a peace offering so that I do not take their children or do anything of the sort. I am a benevolent kappa; I accept these offerings with gratitude and leave the villagers alone… well… I have been known to look up a few kimonos now and again, but I can assure you that is the extent of my mischief."

"If you're so benevolent, then what made you team up with the Kappa King?" Kagome asked softly.

"Most of us had no choice. We are not a wandering type and so for the ones who do eat children, the Kappa King's ability made leaving their rivers a sacrifice they were willing to take for getting stuffed every day with children. For those who didn't, without the villagers bringing us vegetables to eat, we would be forced to turn into hunters of flesh. The Kappa King said that we were entitled to eat people or not but if we followed him, he would provide all the vegetables we wanted and not go hungry. It was a matter of survival, Ms. Kagome."

Kagome sighed and stood back up. "I promised InuYasha I would make him some hot tea. Sango, untie Nyth."

"What? Are you serious?"

"He seems like he isn't here to hurt us and told exactly what we wanted to hear without much provocation. I think he'll be fine. If you don't trust him them bargain with him."

Sango made a face but she could tell Kagome was not really thinking straight. If Sango hadn't been born in the yokai-hunter's camp and had heard all about the many yokai about, she would probably be just as sick as her friend. She was sick over losing her poor little companion, but she knew she had to be strong.

"If you would like to take one of my arms as a bargaining tool, I'll gladly give it to you." Nyth said.

Sango looked at him. "I don't trust you."

"I know, but being disguised as your fox kit, I have come to see how you all care very much for each other, especially Shippo. He was a vivacious little thing and believed up until the very end. If I had known what they would have done to him, I would have never done the illusion."

"You said you didn't have a choice?"

"I didn't. But if I had known what was going to happen after being forced to do it, I would have asked to be someone else. I just wanted to be fed and safe; I didn't want all this carnage. There are a lot of benevolent kappa that feel the same way."

The door opened and Dr. Ko came out, wiping his hands on a hand towel. He looked at the kappa and then at Sango.

"I don't remember you having a kappa in your party."

"We don't have one. He was disguising himself as Shippo."

Dr. Ko nodded. "Where is Kagome?"

"I think she's making hot tea for InuYasha. How is Sesshomaru?"

"The operation was a success. He will need to stay here for recovery but I believe he will get better quickly enough."

"Thank goodness…"

"I'll go and let Kagome know."

He left to go and find her.

Kagome stirred the tea slowly, trying not to focus too much on the issue at hand. InuYasha was carrying such a heavy burden and she knew that now that she knew about it, he would feel ashamed to even be around her. She had to figure out a way to make it possible for him to feel alright when she was around.

"Ms. Kagome?"

Kagome jumped, almost spilling the tea. She turned to Dr. Ko and he smiled at her.

"Your friend you were making tea… Are you alright?"

"N-no… not really. I just found out some unnerving news… Um… was the surgery a success?" she asked, putting on a fake smile.

Dr. Ko tried to ignore her forceful smile. "Yes, Sesshomaru is doing quite well now. The hip was in very bad shape and he won't be able to get back to normal with it unless he regains his yokai powers. Even then, I believe he will still have a slight limp."

"I think that will be the least of his worries… Dr. Ko, are there any herbal remedies for memory loss?"

Dr. Ko turned his head. "That depends… forgetting or remembering?"

"Forgetting."

Dr. Ko smiled kindly at her. "There are herbs that when mixed together have that sort of power but sometimes they cause more harm than good. Although there may be things that we want to forget, remembering them will make us stronger individuals. We cannot erase every bad memory that comes to us or we will never be able to overcome the hardships we encounter."

"That's true but… what if it's something that's so bad that nothing we can do can make us overcome it? It's something so bad that… that…"

Dr. Ko put his hand on Kagome's shoulder and she tried to keep her tears at bay.

"It seems you've had a hard time, Ms. Kagome. Please rest up a little. You're safe here and Sesshomaru is in recovery. I think it would be best to help your friend when you are calm as well."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know what's wrong with InuYasha but I can tell he's hiding something. It's affecting him in a way even he wouldn't understand, but I think that you could help him get through it… He trusts you to a higher degree. He needs you."

Kagome thought for a second and then nodded, wiping the tears in her eyes furiously.

"You're right. He needs me. I have to be there for him so that I can help him."

She grabbed the tea and headed to InuYasha's room.

and so there you have it, the hows and whys of what happened to inuyasha. it's pretty traumatic even for him. will kagome be able to push the blunder aside, knowing that he would never do it on purpose? even though he didn't though, it's still a sick twisted thing and people have an automatic reaction to that sort of sin. inuyasha knows this and so does kagome. how will they get through it?

and is nyth lying or telling the truth? is he JUST a low underling?