Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer

Chapter 11: Songs for you, truths for me.

'I gave up morals when I took up you, and I know it's boring to hear about another young truth, but what a typically shit thing to do." - Laura Marling

I lay next to Edward on his sofa, his leg was nestled between mine, and his hand was stroking my arm adoringly, sending tremors through me. Every now and then we'd fall into this intense stare and then kiss. It was nice...it was intimate, something that I had secretly wished for a long time.

Edward had just come out of the shower and found me waiting for him on his sofa. I wanted to go and wait in his bedroom, but I thought that could be too intrusive, since I wasn't sure where I stood with him. Was I just a bit of fun for him or was I something more?

Edward looked even more divine post-shower; his hair was in a wet mess and it smelled like almonds. Plus, only half of his shirt was buttoned up, which allowed me to stroke his smooth, toned chest. He didn't say anything about me not pleasuring him, but I could tell by his actions that he was agitated and eager for me. For the first time, I wanted to be a man's submissive, but I knew that was the only thing I was good at...and it scared me a little. I was nervous at the prospect of giving in too quickly - what if he wouldn't want anything to do with me afterwards? I told myself that he was different, but I wasn't so sure.

We stopped kissing so we could come up for air, and then Edward gazed straight into my eyes; his stare was hard as if he was trying to read me.

"What's the matter?" I asked after a few minutes, nervously pulling the ends of Edward's pale, blue shirt that he lent me. Well, I say lent, but he pretty much made me, using the excuse that he 'didn't want me to catch pneumonia in my wet clothes.'

His crooked smile glowed handsomely on his face, ,and he replied, "I was wondering what you were thinking about."

I crashed my head into his chest and inhaled the sandalwood off his body. "What do you think I'm thinking about?"

He chuckled, causing the vibrations from his chest to ripple through me. "I wish I knew."

I secretly smiled, reveling in the fact that I was mysterious to him.

"Have you taken any more photographs since last week?" I asked.

A ghost of smile was on his lips, but he tried to be composed. "Not since you," he told me smoothly.

For some reason, that made me very happy. "Right, I see…and why is that?" I queried, loving the fact that I was putting him on the spot. I wasn't going to lie; I wanted to see him squirm.

I wasn't in luck. "Because I wanted to take more photos of you." Damn, that boy was bold.

"I don't know why," I scoffed.

"You're photogenic and interesting. You carry a certain… je ne sais quoi," he told me.

"Oh," I answered. That was all I could say, because I wasn't a hundred percent certain what 'je ne sais quoi' meant, and I wasn't ready to call myself out on that fact. He leaned closer and kissed me on my forehead, and I then felt his semi hard-on grazing my leg. Giddy by this fact, I turned my head into my hair and actually giggled. Nobody made me giggle, and it was a little, nervy one too.

"Yeah, 'oh'," he whispered in my ear, and I heard the smile that went with that. "I'd love to take a photo of you in the nude."

I tried to resist blushing, but that turned into an absolute fail. "Are you blushing, Miss Swan?"

My eyebrows immediately creased. Did he just say what I thought he did? "Swan?" I repeated. "How do you know my last name?"

His eyes narrowed slightly, but he still had a straight face – no hesitation. "You told me."

"Did I?" I asked incredulously. That wasn't something I'd do, but maybe…maybe I did.

"Yes."

"Oh." I still had a niggling feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I trusted Edward…at least, I thought I did.

We didn't say anything for a few moments while we lay on his leather sofa, me secured in his arms while my forehead rested on his chin.

"I'm going away in two months," he said out of the blue.

I struck my head back, and it felt like my heart was on hold. "What?"

A frown played on his lips – that wasn't a good sign. "A friend and I have been planning it for months. We're moving to New York."

I held my breath. New York. He was following my dream, and this envious wrath was clogging up my system.

"That sounds…nice." I couldn't help but sound bitter.

He crooked an eyebrow. "You look like you've sucked on a lemon."

"That was the look I was going for. Glad you noticed."

Edward chuckled carelessly, oblivious to the pain he had just caused me. I was glad he was unaware…I would die inside if he knew how I really felt. "So, who is this good friend?" I asked, trying to carry on the conversation.

Edward was silent before finally answering. "Tanya." He was as blunt as possible.

"I see."

"What do you see?" he asked.

I didn't 'see' anything. What I knew was that he was moving away with another woman – I understood that part perfectly well.

"I'd kill to move to New York; I've wanted to go for so long. I can understand why you're moving." I just had to change the subject.

I could tell by his face that he wasn't expecting that reaction, and he didn't want it either, but he ran with the topic diversion. "Really? I didn't know that about you."

I smirked. "Of course you didn't. Why would I tell you?"

He ran his teeth over his bottom lip. It looked kind of hot. Ugh, he needed to stop distracting me. I lifted myself from the sofa so I was sitting upright, and then looked down shyly. "I wanted to be some kind of cool fashion photographer."

"You're young, you can still do it."

If only you knew…"I suppose." I felt his hand entwine with mine, and I stared at him and smiled. "I can't believe you're going."

He suddenly embraced his arms around my waist and pulled me towards him once again. "You could tell me where you lived, and then I could come back to visit."

I forced a laugh. "I might not be there when you come back…you never know," I lied.

I heard him sigh, and nothing was said after that. We lay there and I closed my eyes, letting him stroke my hair. I tried to let the calming sensation take me, but I couldn't. I felt worked up and couldn't stop fidgeting.

"What's the matter?" Edward asked, sensing my distress.

"I don't know..." I started, biting my lip. "I suppose I'm just a little shocked that you're leaving," I told him truthfully. That must have been the first honest thing I had ever said to Edward.

"I'll come back," he told me.

I nodded my head. "Yeah, I'm sure you will." I paused. "I think I just miss home and stuff. I kind of want to move on from here, y'know?"

"Why don't you visit your parents for a while?" he proposed.

I exhaled, long and hard. "I can't." Wait, did I just say that out loud?

"Why?" he softly asked.

I stared up, straight into his eyes. Why did he seem so honest all of the time?

I wanted to tell him something real, hoping that it could help my conscience, hoping that he could somehow help me.

I stared down at my hands. "I don't talk to my parents anymore. Well, 'parent.' My mom died when I was thirteen."

Edward remained silent. Shit, I made him feel uncomfortable. "Sorry for bringing up the awkwardness." I tried to laugh it off, even though it was hard. I hadn't spoken openly about her death in years.

"I'm really sorry to hear that." He fell silent again, before he said, "If you don't mind me asking, how did it happen?"

"Ovarian cancer," I answered bluntly. I thought that was the best tact to use. God, I didn't want to cry in front of him. Just speaking about it made me realize how raw I still was about what happened. It was such a long time ago, and I don't know why, but the fact that it still hurt more than ever made me feel...stupid.

"I know it's hard to deal with losing a family member that is so close, even though I haven't yet experienced it myself. Don't feel like you have to hold back around me, Bella." He might as well have said 'you can always talk to me,' just like all the teachers did at school.

Once again, I straightened up from the leather sofa. "I bet they tell you to use that line in medical school," I mumbled.

I felt his hand grasp my wrist. "Bella, I'm not trying to offend you. Sometimes, I feel like you purposely avoid everything personal about yourself. You don't know how frustrating it can be."

"Because I honestly don't know why you would care. You must hear about this shit everyday!" I could sense an argument that I didn't want, so I kept trying to smile, even though it felt fake as hell.

I got up off the sofa and made my way toward the door. I didn't want to stay to talk about my past; I just couldn't deal with it, and he couldn't understand. "I'll have to go soon."

I sensed him following me, and before I even touched the doorknob, I felt his strong arm wrap around my shoulders. He turned me around, and when I faced him, he pulled me into his hold. The softness of his shirt and the strength of his arms felt safe and comforting, and before I could even get to grips, I felt a tear trickle down my cheek.

I sniffed. "I'm sorry about this, Edward. I just...I just hate talking about it. It was so long ago, and everybody has moved on." Except me.

I felt his hand again stroking my hair, right to the tips. "I'm sure that's not true. I swear to you, Bella, your dad would've been hurting just as much. We all deal with grief in our own ways."

"No, my dad was over her – it didn't take him long. By the time I turned fifteen he was already with this girl called Jane, who was half my mother's age." Just the mention of her name made me so fucking angry.

Edward's grip tightened around me. "I just couldn't understand why he needed somebody so soon. I just couldn't handle it-" I stopped myself, taking a step back and releasing myself from him. I felt like an idiot.

"Sorry, um...can I just get a glass of water, please?"

His eyes looked saddened, and that added fuel to my embarrassment. Edward picked up my hand again and betsowed a gentle kiss on my knuckles.

"Can you come back next week?" he asked. "I'm worried about you, Bella. If you'll let me, I want to take you to the hospital."

I snatched my hand back. "Why?"

"I'm just guessing, but I don't think you've had a scan for a while." His voice lowered with the last part, and I knew what he meant by 'scan.' They told me when my mother was diagnosed that it would be a good idea to have an ultrasound scan once every year, since we were certain that the cancer was genetic when we discovered that my cousin also had suffered from the same type.

"It doesn't matter that I haven't had a scan," I answered briskly. Again, Edward had made me feel even more humiliated. He didn't reply, but he gave me one of those looks. "Look, I don't understand why you want to help me anyway."

Edward folded his arms. "Look, Bella..." he started, sounding uncomfortable. That was a first. "I'm not sure why I want to help. I just do. I think it would give you peace of mind."

"Look, I really don't know." I thought back to the day I met Edward. It was nearly a month ago, and God, how those weeks have dragged on. But what if somebody recognized me from that day and remembered me as the girl who ran out of the hospital?

Needless to say, the thought wasn't a pleasant one. "At least, come over next week," he urged, and then put on this puppy dog face. "Please?"

I half laughed. "Fine. I will. Can't you just let me get a glass of water already?"

He nodded his head and let me leave the room – finally. I made my way to his huge, perfect kitchen, which complimented his huge, perfect house. I couldn't help but resent him for his rich well-being. I looked through a couple of cabinets until I found the glass cupboard, and as I reached for a glass, I heard a door open.

As I peered around the cupboard door, ,a strong wave of anxiety washed over me.

Emmett's wide eyes stared at me; I wasn't sure whether he was angry or confused. Immediately, I started to pull down the hem of the shirt, as if it would help me to conceal some dignity.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, incredulously.

"Uh, I thought Edward would have told you something about..."

"Told me what?" he interrupted. Then, judging by his expression, ,it all started to click.

"Have you been seeing each other?" he questioned.

I bowed my head, feeling the burning embarrassment. What should I have said? Should I have told him that he bought me or something? If I told Emmett the truth, he would probably tell Sam.

"What's going on between you two?"

"Nothing." Yeah right.

I didn't dare let go of Emmett's attention. His eyes were so strong, and there was something about him that seemed forceful. Now I knew why he was a hit man - he was downright scary.

"Emmett?" I heard Edward's familiar voice behind me.

Emmett looked passed my shoulder, and I watched as his face easily collapsed into a small, soft smile. But I didn't fall for it. I knew these types of guys too well.

"There's a car waiting outside, do you know it?" Emmett casually asked the room.

I knew my place. "Oh, yeah, that'll be for me." I stared up at Edward. He came across just like Emmett did a minute ago. He knew he was kept in the dark about something.

"Thanks for the shirt," I quickly said. "I'll just go and get ready..." my voice trailed off as I left the kitchen in silence. I darted up the stairs and grabbed my damp clothes off the radiators in the utility room. I had never changed so fast in my life.

As I re-entered the kitchen to say bye, I could tell there was something different. Emmett ignored me, not even bothering to look as I walked through. Edward didn't say anything, but his brow had sunk and I could tell he was irritated. When he saw me, he hastily led me through his tall hallway, stopping at the front door.

"Um, so yeah...thanks. Sorry, I didn't know I would be going so soon..."

"It's not like you have to go, Bella. You're eighteen; you're responsible for your own life."

I sighed. "Right."

"Is there something going on?"

I shook my head, trying to remain neutral. "Not that I'm aware of."

"You would tell me though, right?"

"Of course."

He smiled, and then planted a kiss on my forehead. His warm breath felt so surreal on my skin.

I wanted to stay in his house forever.

"Thank you," I said again.

"What are you thanking me for?"

I gave a small shrug. "I'm not sure…"

We said bye, and that was that. I left his house, and I didn't look back, too ashamed of what had just happened. I had to stop lying at some point, because now Emmett knew something was up. I prayed for the first time in my life that he wouldn't breathe a word to Sam.

A/N: Sorry for the long delay, but to make up for it, I'm updating on my birthday! Haha, I do have a life, honest.

I hope you're enjoying the story so far! I would love to know what you think will happen to Bella?

Thank you to my two beta's Twimarti and Kaydee1005. I'm sure by now they both know how much of a huge help they are to me.

Thanks for reading!
KC