Chapter Eleven
Optimism
0000000000
"Ok Kagome, so spill. What's the WHOLE story with you and Inuyasha? I've got a feeling you haven't told us everything." Yuka said. Kagome, Yuka, Eri, and Ayumi were sitting in their usual boot at WacDonald's, munching on French-fries and drinking sodas. Kagome put down her soda and looked over at Yuka, slightly peeved with her nosiness. Kagome closed her eyes and sighed.
"Look Yuka, I just don't feel like talking about it. It's still a sore subject." She said, picking her soda back up for another sip. Eri, Ayumi, and Yuka all looked at Kagome with wide eyes.
"PLEEEEEEEASE?" They all asked, giving their best puppy dog eyes, with their hands clasped and in voices sweet enough to give Kagome a toothache. She rolled her eyes.
"All right all right! Sheesh, I'm to good to you guys…" Kagome gave in, not being able to resist those faces. But maybe she did feel like talking about it. They were her friends, she should be telling them this stuff. It was a lot better than letting it toil inside of her.
Granted…I can't tell them the whole story… Kagome glumly thought. It was tedious to have to make up lies to cover up for the Feudal Era, she always had to be careful that something wouldn't slip out to make her friends suspicious.
"YAYYYY!" They all exclaimed, throwing their hands in the air from excitement. This stuff really was quite thrilling for them. Kagome took a sip of her soda and set it down, taking in a deep breath. Her friends sat their elbows on the table, setting their chins on their hands. They were all ready to listen.
"Ok…so here goes. When I first met Inuyasha he thought I was this girl Kikyo, which was totally annoying cause he wouldn't believe me when I said I wasn't. Then when he figured out I wasn't he said something really rude like me not being as pretty as her or something. So anyways for some reason I had to be around him a lot and it was like he couldn't be nice to save his life, he was super rude. But I guess eventually he grew on me, and apparently I grew on him cause he learned how to use my name…but anyways I started to like him more and more…and the more I think about it, the more I think that I'm in love with him. Maybe. I think. It's confusing. But anyway before that, I found out that the girl who he thought I was, Kikyo, and him had this long history. Apparently they were totally in love, but then somebody came between them and broke their trust. So they were apart for a while, and I met him in the time that they were apart. But after a while they saw each other again, and I guess you could say Inuyasha hadn't let go of his feelings. But Kikyo obviously had, she practically despises him. Why can't he see that! I don't get it…and so it sucked to be around that. Whenever we ran into Kikyo he would go off into his own little world. And I just get so jealous! And I hate it! I'm always being compared to her, and I feel like I fall short…. really short. That's why I'm not seeing him ever again. It was just too much. I felt rejected…but the thing I don't get is why he would get so jealous whenever Kouga was around! Why would he get jealous of him? Oh yeah! Kouga's this guy who said he's in love with me, which I don't think he actually is, I just think he thinks he is. I don't like him in that way though…but whenever we run into each other he tries to "woo" me, and Inuyasha gets jealous, to say in the least…" Kagome rambled for a while, staring at her hands that were wrapped around her soda, not really realizing how long she was talking for. Her friends just sat there with their mouths open, taking a while to comprehend all the information Kagome had babbled about. She looked up at her friends after she finished, feeling the silence. Kagome met their wide eyes, and smiled goofily.
"Sorry! Gosh that must not have made any sense…" She laughed, slightly embarrassed. Eri was the first to snap back to reality.
"Wait, wait, wait, so let me get this straight…you love Inuyasha, Inuyasha loves Kikyo, and that Kouga guy loves you? God sounds like you're living in a soap opera!" She said, her eyes still as wide as plates.
"Wow, I wish somebody would woo me…" Ayumi said dreamily, her eyes becoming distant, as she seemed to go into a daydream.
"Well it's something like that…I guess. It's more complicated. I think." Kagome said in response to Yuka, becoming unsure of just how complicated or how simple it was.
I probably shouldn't have told them all that… She scolded herself in her mind as she ate a French fry. Her appetite was finally returning, maybe she was already starting to heal.
"Oh Kagome…I'm so sorry! Now I understand why you looked so sad today…" Ayumi had snapped out of her daydream. She rested a sympathetic hand on Kagome's shoulder, not knowing what else to do to comfort her dear friend. Eri and Yuka nodded in agreement, thinking of a way to portray their sympathy. Kagome sighed.
"Thanks…but I'll be fine! Really! It's just one guy right? There's plenty more in the sea." Kagome plastered on another fake smile, waving her hand in front of her face, trying not to worry her friends. They all exchanged glances, noticing how forced Kagome's smile was. It worried them that it took effort for Kagome to look happy, it always came so easily to her.
"I know! We should have a sleepover! But wait…It's Monday…well then this weekend we'll do it! A girl's nigh our, so we can find you a guy that's ten times better, Kagome. You deserve it! And it'll be fun, we can go to a teen club and then back to one of our houses to binge, it'll be the perfect night!" Yuka smiled at her. Kagome smiled back, a real smile. She laughed at the idea.
"Yeah! That'll be great!" Eri and Ayumi said, excited with the idea.
"Thanks Yuka! That sounds like a lot of fun…but for now I think I'm just going to go home, thanks for buying me lunch, err second lunch, guys! I'll see you tomorrow?" She said as she slid out of the booth. Yuka, Eri, and Ayumi all said bye and waved her off with big smiles, still slightly concerned about Kagome.
"Bye!" Kagome waved to her friends as she walked out the door, putting her backpack on. She looked at the sky as she was walking home. The bright sun made her eyes water, forcing her to look back down at the ground.
I…feel a lot better. It's like a weight's been lifted off my shoulders. It felt good just to talk about it I guess…even though I couldn't give them the whole story…
000000
Ok…I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it…
Inuyasha forcefully pushed himself into the well, but before he could be transported, he scrambled to catch the frame with his hands. His arm muscles tensed as he pulled himself out of the well to sit on its ledge. His feet were dangling in the empty air of the well. His face contorted in aggravation.
Damn it! Why is this so hard? Inuyasha yelled at himself, disappointed with another failed attempt of going to get Kagome. It was one of many; he had been doing basically the same thing all morning…because of last night. What would he say to her when he got there? Now that he knew how he felt about her…
"Keh! Why should I be so nervous? This is stupid!" HE tried to reassure himself as he slowly inched his self down into the well once again. But he kept his hands on the ledge, allowing him to dangle there, dangerously close to being transported out of his era and into Kagome's.
I can't do it…"I'm gonna do it!" He yelled, his grip on the ledge tightening.
It's too weird…what am I gonna say?"I can DO IT!" Inuyasha yelled even louder.
I CAN'T!"ARGH! I'M GONNA DO IT!" He screamed at the top of his lungs, his fingers finally unclenching the wood frame, allowing himself to free fall down into the well.
000000
Inuyasha stood in front of the well in Kagome's era. His feet not moving, his heart racing a million beats a second. Inuyasha slowly slid open the door of the shrine, just enough to stick his head out and look around. Kagome was walking towards her house; she had just entered through the gate. She was looking at the ground as she walked, holding her backpack straps. Her hair was hanging down, blocking Inuyasha's view of her face. The wind picked up a little, blowing her hair from her face, and Inuyasha could see a single tear rolling down her cheek. Kagome raised her hand and wiped it off, never taking her eyes off the ground.
She looks so sad… Inuyasha thought, his heart started racing even more at the sight of Kagome. He continued watching her as she kept walking towards her house, it seemed like her steps were getting slower.
Why does she look like that? Is she still upset about what happened before? But that was three days ago… Inuyasha put one foot forward, intending to go right up to her, but he couldn't force his other foot forward. Besides, he still had no idea of what he was going to say to her.
000000
Kagome walked through the gate to her house, the feeling of not belonging at her own home weighed down on her.
It's still so weird…why do I have to get used to my own house? She thought, reluctant to go back into her house. It felt like she didn't belong there.
I wish I could go back to the Feudal Era…no! No, I can't be thinking like that…but I miss them so much already… All her friend's faces flashed through her mind, and knowing that she wouldn't be able to see them ever again brought tears to her eyes.
I can't keep doing this…I have to stop crying. She wiped the tear that had fallen down her cheek with the back of her hand.
I wonder… Kagome stopped walking.
000000
Inuyasha stepped his foot back, closing the door a little so that he was watching Kagome with just one eye. She had stopped walking, and he was afraid that she has somehow felt someone watching her. Her raven tresses blew in the wind, and he felt his fingers twitch. He felt an urge to run his fingers through her hair, feel her soft skin, he wanted to feel her in his arms…but so many things were stopping him.
His rapidly beating heart skipped a beat when he saw Kagome's eyes shift over to the shrine, right where he was standing. Those eyes made him feel like he was frozen in time. And he was frozen, for a second. But then he regained his senses and stepped back, more like stumbled backwards until he practically tripped over the well. Inuyasha gripped the sides of the well; he was leaning against it with his back. His heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest, and he the feeling was making him pant.
Why am I so nervous? He asked himself. Inuyasha kept picturing the image of Kagome standing there with her hair swaying in the wind, looking over with her eyes so full of sadness. They were so sad… Inuyasha thought of his revelation last night, of his love for Kagome. Is that what this was? Obviously some sort of strong feeling had to be going on with Inuyasha to make him like this. Inuyasha turned to face the well, his heart ready to burst out of his chest. He quickly put one hand on the ledge and pushed himself in.
I can't face her like this…
000000
Kagome looked over at the shrine, the shrine she had avoided thinking about, looking at, and going into for the past three days. But she was being drawn to it at last. She couldn't help but wonder. Could she?
Maybe I could…maybe just to see them…for a little bit. To visit… She thought, hope fluttering up in her stomach like a lone butterfly.
She stared at the shrine, noticing that the door was slightly open. Kagome absent mindedly stared at it, until she saw a flash of movement. She could've swore she saw flash of movement…of red movement…
Red?
"Inuyasha!" Kagome unconsciously breathed out. Before she even realized what she was doing, her feet carried her at full speed to the shrine, dropping her backpack on the way. She was running at full intensity, the little tiniest chance of being able to see him pumped adrenalin through her veins. Kagome climbed up the stairs to shrine as fast as she could, tripping over one of them but regaining her momentum. She threw open the sliding doors, panting from how fast she had been running.
Nothing.
There was nothing there. Nothing except for the damned well that sat before her.
"Of course." Kagome bitterly chuckled, dropping her arms to her sides. She walked forward, disgusted at how hopeful she had been. The butterfly in her stomach had vanished, without a trace. Her eyes wandered over the inside of the shrine. It felt like she hadn't been there in years. She ran her hand against the wood of the well, it was old and rough, but it felt good to her. It was her connection to the Feudal Era, or at least it used to be.
I wonder if he really was here…? Or maybe I'm just going crazy…but still, why hasn't he come to get me yet? Does he not want me back? Tears once again came to Kagome's eyes; the all too familiar and terrible feeling came creeping up on her again. The feeling of being about to break down. She hated that feeling.
"No! I can't do this! I can't keep be…being this pathetic!" She screamed out at herself, rubbing her eyes in an attempt to make the tears go away. But they were so persistent. A few tears rolled down her cheeks, much to her dismay. She looked over at the well.
I wonder… Kagome thought again, she remembered why she had come to the shrine in the first place. The hope that Inuyasha had come to rescue her had distracted her.
Could it work…without the shards? Please, please! Work… She prayed in her mind, giving in to the hope again. Her stomach became knots, all of a sudden she felt incredibly nervous. She put her hands on the frame of the well, it felt like forever. Forever ago that she had been there. It had only been three days. But forever, that's exactly what it felt like to her.
…But what if I can? What then? What would I do… She stared down into the inky blackness of the ancient well. Kagome contemplated what could happen if she went back, but all she saw was the same thing happening as before: Inuyasha an Kikyo, together. All those times before, the same thing would happen. And she wouldn't be able to handle it. But…
" I just want to say goodbye…I didn't get to. And I miss them so much already!" She whispered, raising a knee onto the frame, still debating whether or not she really wanted to go. She knew that she wanted to, but she didn't know if it would make her better or worse. Worse, that's what she felt would happen.
"Inuyasha.." Kagome unknowingly whispered his name. The urge to see him grew inside of her. She just wanted to look at him one last time. She wanted to be able to look at his strong body, his adorable fuzzy ears…and his beautiful face. She wanted him to protect her again, from all the pain.
"Inuyasha!" She sad, pushing her self down into the well.
000000A/N000000
yay! i finally put up another chapter!
i think this is my favorite chapter. dunno why. but hooray for another chapter!
hope you guys liked it )
and i've got a week break coming up after next week so i hope to put up two new chapters during that week
oh i redid the first couple chapters! if you wanna go read em...