What if I let her down?

He didn't know which woman in his life he was most afraid of disappointing, but the woman in front of him. . .

Kate Beckett pushed the hair back out of her eyes and regarded the piled up files spread out in front of them. Drowning. They were all drowning in it.

Rick Castle had left his daughter at college today. He had unpacked her things, slowly, one box at a time, one suitcase at a time, while Kate had stayed in the room with Alexis, helping her arrange things.

At one point, he'd come in with Ashley on his heels to find Kate and Alexis slung into the low furniture in the common space of her suite, two other girls mixed in, her suitemates. All of them talking, laughing, Kate sharing stories about her time at NYU.

Ashley had nearly run into the back of him, and Castle had started moving forward again, a little choked up, a little more subdued.

Who was he kidding? He was going to marry Kate Beckett? Right. Kate Beckett, this amazing, beautiful woman barely out of her twenties who felt right at home on ratty college dorm furniture, who had just been put through a punishing training camp for federal agents-

This was the woman who had agreed to marry him.

It was insane.

It was too good to be true.

He had driven them home; it'd been silent in the car. He brooded over losing his daughter, he mourned the three-year old with bright copper hair and a smile that stretched across her whole little face. He tried to ignore the dull ache of separation and the bitter taste of resignation.

Because really, how long could it last? Castle and Kate. How long before he'd done something stupid again and screwed it all up?

Oh God, he didn't want to disappoint her. He had to - *had to* - help her unravel the conspiracy surrounding her mother's death. He'd been the one to open it all back up again; he'd gone grave-digging, disrespectfully and without her permission, digging up her mother's death, overturning fresh earth, exposing the rotting bones.

So he sat in his study on the couch beside Esposito, Kate across from him, Ryan in the chair, and he sifted through old case reports spread across the table. The guys had just arrived with pizza, Castle had provided the beer, but Kate had only picked at her slice.

So now they were presenting all the evidence to Beckett, showing their five months of hard work.

Because he didn't know what else to do to keep her.

"Okay, just got the email transcript from the prison-" Ryan fiddled with his phone and sat up in the chair. "I went through the weekly phone long. Lockwood made one phone call every week, an hour after you showed up-"

"After *I* showed up?" Kate hissed.

Ryan nodded. "Every time. Collect call. Charges denied. But as soon as Javier here shows up, he makes that same call, and the charges are accepted."

Kate frowned. "We trace the - I mean, did you guys trace the call?"

"Course," Esposito huffed. "Burner phone."

"Damn. What-"

"Here," Ryan pulled something up on his phone, tapped the screen, and held it out to them. "Listen."

From the recording, Castle could make out the white noise of a public prison phone.

Lockwood said: "How's the family?"

The voice on the other end replied, "Same. How's Charlie and Mike?"

Lockwood: "Good."

Ryan cut it off; Esposito whistled. "That's code."

"Code for what?" Castle asked, rubbing a hand across his eyes.

"Charlie, Mike. What the military uses over radio. Phonetic alphabet. You know, like Bravo Company, Yankee Hotel Foxtrot-"

Castle grinned. "I love that album."

"What?"

He shook his head. "Never mind. Code?"

"C.M. Continue Mission."

And then, it hit him. In a wave. Just like his inspiration always hit him, only this time, it brought a sickening clarity with it that he wanted to give back.

"It wasn't McCallister," he groaned, dropping his head back.

"What do you mean, Castle?" Kate's voice was sharp.

He spoke through his hands covering his face. "It wasn't about McCallister. Just a tool, a vehicle to get him out to that arraignment, to the outside-"

"What are you talking about?" Esposito said.

"Anyone could've been hired to shank a prisoner, months and months ago. Right?" Castle rubbed his hands down his face and sat back up. "Months ago. Why now? Because timing is everything. They needed everything in place to bust Lockwood out of jail now-"

"Oh shit," Kate whispered.

"And now that he's out-" Ryan shifted in his seat.

"Now that he's out," Castle finished. "He'll go after the loose threads. We've already proved that we're getting too close to the Dragon. Now he's gotta clean house."

"Me."

Castle glanced up at her, his mouth going dry.

Esposito was shaking his head. "No. Not you. He could've gotten to you in the courthouse."

Ryan saw where it was going too, apparently, and he jumped in. "No, he's after someone else. That third cop. The only one left alive."

"Pulgatti said he saw three guys in that alley," Kate said slowly. "Three guys. McCallister. Raglan. And who?"

"Whoever he is, I bet *he's* on Lockwood's hit list."

It had plagued them for months, not knowing the third cop's identity. Now it seemed vital that they figure it out. Tonight.

"Okay, the old cases that these guys filed. It's our last shot. We'll dig through this, see what pops. Got it?"

Esposito and Ryan both nodded. Castle just stared across the coffee table at her, trying to get a handle on this, while the boys pulled case files their way. They'd already done this. Over and over they'd done this. For five months they'd been digging through case files. And she knew that.

"Kate, can I talk to you for a second?"

She glared at him, but got up. He followed her out his study door and down the hallway, stopping when she did. Her arms were crossed over her chest.

"What's going on, Kate?" He'd seen it on her face, in her eyes. Something bothering her, something that didn't fit.

"Why now, Castle?"

He rubbed two fingers on his thigh, watched the worry blossom across her face. She was letting him see it. That was something. "It takes time and resources to break a guy out of prison. That was effectively a para-military extraction. The two fake cops, the chopper, transferring Lockwood into General Population-"

"But. Why *now*? Why not while I was at Quantico?"

Castle tried to clear his throat, but he knew. He knew she'd come to the same conclusion he had. And he hated it. "They wanted to see. . ."

"To see if I'd still be on this. If I'd given it up or not."

He nodded, felt his chest was too tight to breathe. "And now they know."

"They know I won't stop," she said, her chin jutting out as if he would deny it. "They know they can't knock me down, but I'll get right back up-"

"And now you're on the list," he finished, swallowing hard. "Now you've got to be silenced."

She met his eyes. That was a good sign too, wasn't it? She stared him down, like she was waiting for him to crack, to buckle. Wasn't she? She must know he'd disappoint her, and she figured this would be her first sign of weakness. He didn't blame her.

But he'd prove himself all over again if he had to. "Have you told Shaw what's going on?"

She shook her head. "I'm not. . .authorized to be on this case officially. What I do on my own time. . ." Kate shrugged.

"So no federal help."

"No."

Castle rubbed at the back of his neck. "Suddenly I'm really grateful that I dropped my daughter off at college."

Kate's face blanched. Mistake. That had been a mistake; he'd just reminded Kate of the danger posed to the people she loved, the people standing between her and the crosshairs.

"Castle-"

"No."

"You haven't even heard-"

"I don't need to hear it, because I know what you're going to say. And that's a no, Kate. No matter what happens."

She chewed on her lip and looked away from him. "But Alexis-"

"Is a big girl. Far away."

"Not that far."

"Far enough."

"Does she-"

"I've got private security on her. Always have. I'll call them and explain the situation; they'll tighten it up."

"Oh God, Castle-"

"It's still a no, Kate."

She leaned forward, pressing her forehead to his, closing her eyes. But Castle kept his eyes open, watched her shiver once before she could control herself again. She looked more alone and desperate and brittle than he'd seen her in ages. Since she'd been kicked off the force.

"Don't flinch, Kate." He wrapped his arms around her, held her tighter. "Stare him down. And don't flinch."

She didn't break, but she did suck in a shaky breath. "What if I'm not enough? What if I-"

"Yo! We got a location on the chopper!"

Kate broke away from him, swiped at her face. Castle didn't see tears, but her eyes were glittering. "Kate-"

"Later." She pushed off his chest and met Ryan and Esposito coming out of the study. "Can you guys-?"

"We got it. We'll check out the hangar. Duty officer said the mechanic noticed the bullet holes in it, called us."

"Owner?"

"Hedge fund guy. When we know more details, we'll text you."

"Don't forget to check-"

Esposito gave her a long look as Ryan moved past, grabbing Castle's forearm as he did. "Beckett. I know."

Ryan tugged and Castle followed the man into the living room, concerned.

"What's up?"

Ryan shook his head, took a quick glance down the hall where Beckett and Esposito were still bickering over the details of how to run the case. "She's a target, Castle."

He sighed. "Yeah. We figured-"

"Yeah, but you know who told me?"

Castle froze. "Who. . .told you?"

"Captain Montgomery."

Ice water rushed into his veins. He stared at Ryan. "What?"

"Montgomery told me to tell you to watch her back."

"Did it sound like a threat, Ryan? Cause, to me, that sounds vaguely threatening."

"I don't think he meant it as one, but Castle?" Ryan shot a look down the hall and then back to the writer. "I've been looking through the case notes. Not the stuff in Records, but the stuff in Archives. The Unsolveds."

"The cold cases?"

"Yeah, the *homicides* that weren't solved, specifically. From around that time period as the Pulgatti thing."

Castle was suddenly awed by Ryan's detective skills. This was something Kate probably would've considered, if she'd been here these last five months. But Ryan had done it on his own. "And?"

"You know, mostly it's just detectives listed on those reports."

"Ryan, we don't have time-"

Ryan looked peeved, but he shifted on his feet and continued. "Mostly it's the detectives, but if the uniforms were hanging around, helping out, they'd get their names written down in the lead detective's notes."

"Who?" Castle breathed, because he knew, he *knew* that Ryan had found their third man.

"There's two names that circle around with Raglan and McCallister. Just two. Napolitano."

Castle arched his eyebrow and felt his pulse rate quicken.

"But it can't be him. He was at his daughter's wedding the night Armen was shot. I checked, triple-checked. So that leaves us with one other name." Ryan swallowed and winced as he heard Beckett's passionate argument with Esposito just down the hallway.

Castle knew he should wade in there, break it up. It'd been a long day, a long five months, and before that, a long two weeks. But Ryan was practically sweating bullets, he was so uncomfortable with his knowledge.

"Spit it out, Ryan."

"It's Montgomery."

Castle had to use the wall to keep himself up, stared at Ryan. The detective hustled to the side to block the sight from Esposito and Beckett. "Castle. So help me. . .if you spill the beans-"

"I won't. I'm good."

"You look like hell," Ryan hissed. "Stand up."

Castle stood. "You can't be serious. The Captain?"

"I checked. Shit, I checked. Castle, Esposito is going to punch me in the face if I mention this. And Beckett?"

"She'll collapse," Castle said, horror washing over him. "You've got to be wrong about this. It can't be-"

"Listen to me. I got confirmation. I found the seargeant who ran the records room until his retirement. Mike Yanavich. Owns a bar on Fulton."

Castle covered his mouth with a hand, afraid something terrible was going to slip out. Roy? Kate's mentor in Homicide?

"I went to the bar. I'm thinking, how can a retired cop afford a bar in New York City? I mean, *you* own a bar, right?"

He nodded lamely and watched Ryan's excited, sickened face. "So I went. I see Yanavich; we chat about the good old days for awhile. Jabbering on, right? He's trying to keep himself looking clean in all this, says the records room wasn't like it is now-"

"He looked the other way. He let them cover up evidence, disappear reports-"

"He did. That's my gut feeling on it. Anyway, I asked him, hey, who hung around with Raglan and McCallister, who was the Third Musketeer?"

Castle's eyes drifted over Ryan's shoulder to see Beckett and Esposito with their voices lowered, intent on something. They had to go, Esposito seemed to be saying, let him do his job.

Ryan tossed a look behind him and talked faster. "He told me it was a rookie, a black kid who thought those two hung the moon. Bad-asses all. He pulled this down from the back of the bar."

Castle managed to focus on Ryan again, the faded photograph in his hand. It was unmistakably Raglan, McCallister, and Roy Montgomery.

"Oh God, this is going to kill her."

Castle snatched the photo, brought it closer. At that moment, Esposito came barreling into the living room, calling for Ryan over his shoulder. Kate was furious and brittle-looking in the doorway of the hall.

Ryan reached for the photo but Castle shoved it in his pocket. "I'll do it. I'll tell her. Go."

Ryan gave him a long, dark look, but the two boys left to process the scene where the chopper had been found, leaving Castle alone with Kate.

The photograph seemed to burn his fingers, thrust inside his pocket.

Kate turned her livid eyes on him. "Esposito said. . ." She choked on her own fury and paced, throwing up her hands. "He said that Captain told him to take Lockwood down. If he got the chance. Shoot. Ask questions later."

Of course he did.

"Everyone knows I'm a target," Kate muttered. "I'm a target and I can't even get out there and do anything about it. Captain wanted to put a detail on me."

"Esposito pissed?"

"Yeah. I was. . .I should apologize later."

"He'll understand," Castle said, and even as he said it, he knew he was offering banalities to keep from having to show her the thing. The photo. The evidence.

"What is it, Castle?" she barked, turning mid-pace to stare him down.

"What?"

"I can tell by your face that you have bad news. I told you mine. Now it's your turn."

Castle sank back against the wall, watched Kate in all her glorious fury. He was suddenly certain, in a way he'd never been certain before, that this was going to end them. End. It was going to be over.

Not later, not some day in the future. But now. With this case. This was going to break them both.