Sorry chapters have been so short lately, that's just what my writing style has evolved into I suppose. But hey, shorter chapters mean faster updates. Anyway, I wanted to draw some fanart for this story, but it's not going very well, so if any of you lovely people would like to give it a shot, I'd be delighted! Just give the story credit and be sure to send it to me so I can appreciate it!
-Ghost
Getting out of bed had turned into more of a challenge than it had ever been before. Suddenly, school wasn't worth it anymore. He didn't deserve friends. Not after what he'd done. His ring had turned completely black, it did not return to it's dormant, silver color.
He hadn't left the house in days, his father only too pleased to inform the school he would not be returning to classes. However, Gabriel had been less than compassionate to his son's emotional state and quickly lost patience with his refusal to leave his room.
At Natalie's suggestion, a doctor was called to examine him.
"Just a bout of teenage depression," had been the diagnosis. "Nothing more than a phase."
And then had come the medications. They fogged his head and made him sick, but they did not nothing to take away the guilt that ate him up.
Plagg had hardly spoken a word since that night, instead quietly nestling into Adrien's hair or trying to pull the ring off when he thought the boy was asleep. One night, Adrien heard soft, anguish ridden sobs coming from somewhere above him. He no longer begged for cheese, instead eating whatever Adrien had handy.
Buzz buzz.
Blindly, Adrien groped around for his phone, which had become buried in his sheets during a night of tossing and turning. Plagg rose from his spot on Adrien's pillow and dove into the blankets, resurfacing in moments with the blinking phone.
"Thanks, Plagg. Probably another text from Nino asking where I am."
The kwami nodded in agreement, not making eye contact.
He switched on the device and almost dropped it in shock.
Alya: enough is enough. Meet me at the park at 4pm. You better be there.
Received 7:04am
It didn't matter anymore, did it? There was no hope of salvation, he was beyond rescue. The ring would devour him alive regardless if he ever transformed again or not. And he deserved it.
He raced across the rooftops as Chat, charging like a bullet to his destination. The clock on his baton read 3:47.
Alya had told him to be there at four, but he didn't dare be late or even on time.
He landed in a crouch on the bright green grass, slitted eyes searching for his target. Good. She wasn't here yet.
Slowly, he turned his glance to the carousel. With a knot in his stomach, he wondered if it would jump to life in a nightmarish haze again. He shuddered. The horses seemed to mock him. We haven't forgotten! We haven't forgotten! They chanted in his mind. We never will!
But it remained still. And somehow, he found that just as unnerving. Like a sickening eye in the storm. He knew it would be foolish to think he'd come away unscathed.
Quietly, Chat shied away from it and scurried up a nearby tree. He considered transforming back to Adrien, but what was the point? Even with the physical mask, he had nothing left to hide behind.
Marinette didn't notice Adrien's absence from school. She had not left her room in days. Facing the world outside of her bedroom was a challenge. It was hard being a failed hero.
"You have to pick yourself up," Tikki told her firmly. "Hawkmoth is still out there. Do you want anyone else to suffer the same fate?"
She knew her kwami was right, but it didn't make the road ahead any less daunting.
"Marinette! Come eat, you don't want to be late again!"
Marinette sighed. She had stayed away from school long enough under the guise of being ill. It was time to face the city again. It was time to face Adrien.
"Coming, mama."
She cringed, the faint sting on her thigh reminding her of the fateful night when she lost her partner to an unknown darkness. Her heart ached, feeling as if it was nothing more than broken shards, rubbing together irritatedly, desperately trying to fit themselves back together.
It made her feel evil, but all she selfishly thought of Adrien. Would he ever love her now that she had been defiled and marked by another? It made her feel even worse that she had found such pleasure in it, and often woke up in the night, sticky and hot and longing for his touch. The vulnerability he had showed her, the complete show of dominance. His mask flickering on and off in her dreams, trying to tell her something. Tell her he needed her, that she needed him.
But Chat Noir had vanished. No one had seen him since.
He did not show up to the memorial Paris had held for the victim, and Ladybug had been forced to stand by the mayor, in front of the entire city and face their failure alone. It was a horribly selfish thing to resent him for, something was clearly very broken within him. He was probably in a state much worse than her own.
Tikki silently watched the girl pull herself from her stale sheets, which still smelled faintly of sex and tears.
Her hair was unkempt and matted, and the oversized tee shirt she wore had questionable cleanliness at the very least. Tiredly, she crawled down the ladder and numbly walked to her dresser, blindly grabbing a pair of black skinny jeans and a simple graphic tee. She carried her clothes down to the bathroom, giving her mother a half hearted greeting.
The thought of showering had been overwhelming, but nonetheless rewarding when the hot water rained down her back, washing away the sins of the past week.
Bits of dried blood flowed down in small water trails from her thigh, which she elected to ignore. She washed her hair swiftly, not bothering to condition it. Tikki handed her a washcloth.
She scrubbed herself until her skin was red and sore. But she was clean now, wasn't she?
Part of him wondered if Alya had stood him up. It was nearly four-thirty and no sign of her.
The moments of waiting had been agonizing. What would she say? What would she do?
He knew she was angry, but the extent of her anger was a mystery.
I'll wait here until sunset. He decided.
He let his thoughts run to keep him company. What did he have to lose?
There was an itch in the back of his mind, but something within him told him desperately not to scratch it. It was a last barrier between him and something terribly dark. He was tired of fighting. He deserved whatever would happen to him. There would be no redemption for him. Why not give in?
But there was still that ray of light inside him, everything that was left that was good and pure. It was his last hope. It told him to fight. He clung to it even as it faded.
"Hello, Agreste," Alya spoke suddenly from below.
Chat yelped in surprise, almost losing his balance. He steadied himself and jumped.
They stood face to face. Chat wrung his hands.
"Well?" she asked, arms crossed.
"What?" confusion etched on his features.
"Do you have anything to say for yourself?"
"I'm so sorry, Alya. I should have told you I was Chat, I know how much-,"
She held up her hand, effectively silencing him. "Hold up, you think that's what I'm pissed about?"
He tilted his head. "Isn't it?"
"Well, sure I was a bit hurt, but I get it. Super hero means secret identity. I know you probably can't tell anyone."
"I can't," he agreed, woefully. "Lady would kill me."
Her eyes lit with fire. "There. That's what I'm mad about."
He balked. "I thought you said you understood why I couldn't tell you?"
"Not that, dumbass. Ladybug. You're in love with her, right?"
He only nodded.
"Then what the hell are you doing with Mari? Playing the good guy with her as Adrien, being the bad boy hero as Chat Noir? Making her fall for two boys she can never have because they're in love with Ladybug?"
Adrien's heart stopped cold. "Marinette is in love with me?"
Alya punched him in the jaw. He stumbled in surprise, falling against the tree trunk. "Yes, you idiot! She's been in love with Adrien since the first day you came to our school. Everyone knew!"
"I-I had no idea… She mentioned she liked someone but she never told me who…,"
"As if she wasn't obvious! Never being able to talk to you like a normal human being, knitting you that scarf, giving you her lucky charm bracelet?"
"She made that scarf? I thought-,"
Alya didn't let him speak. "Yes, she did! It took her weeks. She loves you, Agreste." she was crying angry tears now. "You made her so happy. And now she has to find out it was all a lie. You were just playing her the whole time."
He held out his hands for the sniffling girl. She pulled away. "I swear it wasn't like that, Alya. I had no idea."
"And if you had known, what difference would it have made? Would you still have done it?"
He wanted to say no. He wanted to say he'd never do something like that. But he knew he would have done it over and over again. He loved her. She'd nearly erased Ladybug from his mind. He needed her in his life. He couldn't survive without her.
And now he had broken her heart.
"It's complicated."
Alya slugged him again. He was ready and he let her do it.
He deserved it.
"I'm not worthy of her." he said at last. He smiled sadly. "I love her. But I think I realized it a little too late."
He was crying, too.
"I don't have much time. I have to make things right."
"What's happening to you, Adrien?" her voice was full of fear.
"Everything I had coming."
The trip to her balcony was a frantic, clawing mess. His baton no longer worked, and dissolved into dust when he touched it. Even the ground he touched began to crumble when he touched it. He tucked his hands into his chest, determined to harm her.
He called for her in a raspy voice, drenched with fear. Please be home.
"Marinette! Marinette!"
She flung open the trapdoor moments later, panic flashing in her eyes. "Chat? Chat, what's wrong?" she stood in front of him, he took several steps back. "I've been so worried."
"I'm so sorry, Mari. I can't stay I just needed to tell you something."
"Chat?" she reached for him.
"No! Don't touch me. I'll hurt you.I don't know if I'll ever see you again. I need to tell you something."
She looked as if she'd been stabbed. Her voice was barely above a whisper. "Chat?"
"I-I lov-,"
Suddenly, his mouth felt heavy. His fangs digging into his lips.
She backed away in fear. "What's happening to you?"
"I lo-,"
His voice failed him, coming out instead as a frustrated growl.
The back of her hand flew up to stifle her started gasp.
He glanced down at his hands, finding they were no longer gloved. Instead the were covered in thick, dark fur, deadly sharp claws jutting out where his fingernails once were.
His ring flickered, green light webbing across the surface.
Plagg fell from it, coughing and wheezing. His ears drooped and he looked devastated. "I'm so sorry, kid. I couldn't stop it."
Marinette fell to her knees in object horror, his face finally revealed to her, despite his animalistic appearance. "A-adrien?"
He could hear her heart slamming in her chest.
He gave a strangled howl of fear before leaping away into the night, ignoring her anguished cries of his name, begging him to return.
He allowed himself one last look at her face, there she stood, Plagg cradled in her hands and tears streaming down her face.
She looked so afraid, so broken, so alone. He'd done this to her. All of this was his fault.
And now he would pay the price.