So I finally finished sorry it took me a whole week. Finals sucked and I couldn't even start this thing until yesterday. Again thank you everyone for sticking with us through this! I hope reading this will make your day. Have Happy Holidays everyone! All of us will see you again in March!
Sincerely,
Ava, Sabre, and Juliet
~Word Play~
Sabre: Haha…Pan said child's play and he is a child.
Pan (Henry's body): I'm hardly a child.
Juliet: Have you seen the body you're walking around in?
`Everyone looks at Pan`
Ava: That's not saying much with Henry's recent growth spurt he looks like he's fifteen.
Juliet: He's technically supposed to be twelve, right? Or is it eleven?
Sabre: That is child enough for me!
Pan (Henry's Body): It doesn't matter. Soon I will rule these imbeciles in the new Neverland.
Sabre: Well you're lacking major creativity. New Neverland? Really? Is the like New York? Or New Mexico? Please pick something else.
Ava: Will you be kidnapping little boys and bringing them here as well? Or do you think you have enough in New Neverland?
Pan (Henry's Body): I won't need any more Lost Boys in the New Neverland.
Ava: Yes because he has upgraded to women and we know from Felix that he prefers blondes. Emma you're in trouble.
Juliet: NO! NO! PLEASE DON'T! NO! THAT ISSO WRONG!
Pan (Henry's body): Once I am done with this curse I will be sure to come up with some form of torture explicitly for you three.
Sabre: There already is such a torture…
Felix: What would that be?
Ava, Sabre, and Juliet: Finals!
~Felix's Heart~
`Felix realizes that he is the last ingredient for Pan's curse`
Sabre: Felix you're sooo stupid.
Felix: I didn't know.
Sabre: Well it's pretty obvious. You even know what the last ingredient is.
Felix: I thought it was Rumple's heart.
Juliet: He gave up his son for immortality and centuries with a bunch of little boys. How in any way makes you think he gives a damn about his son.
Ava: Knew it! The one loop hole! There was no way that Pan loved anything on the island except for a devote follower.
Sabre: Are you sure you're still talking about Pan?
`Pan rips out Felix's heart`
Juliet: So Felix doesn't actually tie into anyone in anyway? He's just a throw away character for Pan's plot?
Pan (Henry's Body): Of course he was. You didn't think I actually loved him did you.
….
Ava: Now that can most certainly be taken the wrong way.
Juliet: Alright then. I'll just mark him down as Pan's gay lover.
Pan (Henry's Body): That is not what I meant.
Ava: It never is…but you still should watch how you say things.
Sabre: And it may help you in the long run if you stopped being evil.
~Exile~
`The Black Fairy's Wand`
Tink: Blue exiled the Dark Fairy.
Sabre: Of course she exiled someone else…
Ava: When you rack up her tally of good deeds with bad decisions what does it look like?
Juliet: Looks like the Blue Fairy was a selfish bigot who only cares about fairy dust.
Sabre: And a flying jellyfish who needs a breast reduction.
Ava: The room for sympathy in her soul would make Lord Voldemort jealous.
….
Sabre: Couldn't have said it better myself.
Tink: You shouldn't speak ill of the dead.
Ava: We like to tempt fate and we'll take our chances.
Charming: The Blue Fairy helped save Emma.
Juliet: There's one thing she did right, but she also lied about the tree only taking one. It could have taken Snow, but she lied to save herself.
Charming: She lied?
Sabre: Are you like the last one to know that bit of information?
`Heading out to find the wand`
Tink: Let me pay my respects to Blue.
Sabre: She exiled you!
Tink: She was still my friend.
Juliet: She stopped believing in you!
Tink…That's true…
Ava: I wish that part where you had killed her in a previous episode had actually happened.
Juliet: Ava, the fact that you imagined her exploding into Fairy dust would make up for the dust Tink used to help Regina!
Ava: Good times…
Juliet: But then it was wasted on Sabre!
Tink: Wasted?
Sabre: I DON'T BELIEVE!
Ava: Oh, yeah that…
Sabre: And on another note- YOU TWO!
`Snow and Charming look over`
Sabre: Stop making out while everyone is trying to stop Pan!
~What the Hell?~
Ava: Why can't he get in? Do the Fairies have some kind of barrier up around this place?
`Shadow gets in`
Ava: Who the fuck opened the window with a rogue shadow on the loose?
`Fairies run away in terror`
Sabre: Why is it making shrieking noises when we know it can talk?
Ava: With the glorious voice of Marilyn Manson!
Sabre: Oh…that all makes sense now.
`Shadow flies around angrily doing nothing impressive`
Charming: You girls need to hide behind something, quick.
Sabre: Like your impressive hiding spots behind some pews? Were good standing up in the center of the room thanks.
Ava: You know how they base time in jail on times committed? What does Pan's shadow get for killing a nun?
Sabre: I don't know…but I would imagine that it's not good.
Ava: Then again the nun was he Blue Fairy.
Sabre: YO! SHADOW! LET'S HANG AND YOU CAN TELL THE STORY OF HOW SAVED THE WORLD FROM THE FLYING JELLYFISH!
Tink: You shouldn't say that. The shadow is evil!
`More angry flying and wailing`
Ava: Have babysat a lot of kids, but this is by far the worst tantrum ever!
`Juliet shows up in Priest costume`
Juliet: The Power Of Christ Compels You!
Ava: HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Sabre: Where the hell did you get that thing?
~The Jungle~
`Tink and Hook are hardcore flirting`
Sabre: What? What is going on here?
Juliet: So much flirting…
Hook: Then stop watching us.
`Hook hands her rum`
Ava: Now he gave her rum. He's going to drink her into his bed.
Sabre: Don't you mean Wendy's bed since she's the only one with one of those things on this island.
Juliet: Gross! Don't say that. It will do things to this twisted family tree!
Hook: Who's Wendy?
Ava: None of you business. Don't you have a Fairy to seduce?
Hook: Right you are, love.
`Hook ceases flirting and pours his heart out to the ex-fairy`
Juliet: Why does he do that to everyone he meets?
Ava: Flirts?
Hook: Are you feeling left out, love?
Juliet: No! He tells everyone his life story without any warrant for it; like it's supposed to help them connect to him. Does he not notice that they first associate him with a pirate and everyone will most likely think he's lying?
Sabre: Not if he's drunk…
Juliet: He's not drunk yet!
Hook: How would you know?
Juliet: He isn't playing with the crochet on Tink's shoulders like he did before.
Sabre: He was pretty drunk wasn't he?
Ava: As a skunk!
~Hook the Hero~
Juliet: Hook! Don't die! I will be very upset!
`He jumps up and shouts`
Ava: Don't do that…
`He gets knocked back 5 feet and slides`
Ava: Safe!
Juliet: Don't die!
`Ava looks over to Sabre jumping up and down on Blue's coffin`
Ava: If I cannot deface her corpse you cannot jump on her dead body.
Sabre: It's not an official crime. I can do what I want.
Ava: Couldn't you at least wait until she was properly buried?
Sabre: That would take way too long!
`Shadow continues rampage`
Hook: I think there are more important matters at the moment girls.
Sabre: No way. If I don't get to kill her in this series then I at least get to see if I can make her pop and see if she is full of fairy dust.
Tink: That's so wrong.
Juliet: Think of it as a donation to charity.
Ava: Does this make Tink the next head fairy?
Juliet: They should!
Hook: Sabre look out!
`Shadow flies through her and everyone is shocked`
Sabre: Haha! I have no soul!
`Continues jumping on corpse`
~Believe~
`Charming speaks with Tink`
Sabre: Yeah because a hand on the back fixes everything.
Juliet: What is it with this family placing hands on everyone's shoulder, face, or back fixes everything. They thought it would wake Henry up in Neverland.
Charming: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Sabre: That's because you weren't there to see your Grandson die.
Ava: They all think that they are Jesus.
Juliet: Except that they are all so stupid, and horribly dysfunctional.
Sabre: Maybe Charming is just very touchy feely.
Charming: I am right here, you know.
Ava: And it spread to his daughter, and their son in-law, and their worst nemesis.
Charming: Does it matter? Look, its working.
`Tinkerbell begins to glow`
Juliet: Now the dust magically works!
Ava: Of all the convenient plot twists…this is worse than the Phantom Menace.
Juliet: Believe!
Charming: See that's all she needed!
Ava: That can't be it. Unless she didn't really believe she was a strong independent woman…WHO FOUGHT OFF PAN ON A DAILY BASIS! MY GOD!
Sabre: I do not believe! But apparently she does.
~Harsh~
Juliet: She just burned it! I wasn't expecting that!
Sabre: Looks like we didn't need that priest outfit anyway.
Ava: But I love that movie…
Sabre: We are not turning this show into a horror flick for your amusement.
Tink: There! All better!
Juliet: That was so violent! This show rarely shows that much violence. She killed a living entity.
Ava: That's okay she's not one of the Jesus Charmings.
Sabre: That one joke was okay, but if you keep this up everyone will flame this.
Ava: Not the Rumple Jews! WHOO!
Juliet: Stop being offensive or I will flame you! YOU KNOW I WILL!
Sabre: We respect that you are agnostic, but one more joke and I will steal your computer and write this. Do you want that?
Ava: No.
Juliet: Then apologize!
Ava: I am sorry to all viewers who take their religions seriously and thought that I was offensive…but as for the rest of you people with a sense of humor and read the warning 'take lightly' give me a smiley face in the reviews!
Juliet and Sabre: AVA!
~Death Doesn't Exist~
`Blue fairy resurrected`
Juliet: NOOOO! You were supposed to be dead!
Ava: Come on!
Sabre: Goddamned Jelly Fish flies again!
Juliet: WHY?! WHY?! I DON'T UNDERSTAND! WHY?!
Tink: Blue, you're alright!
`Everyone pauses`
Blue: I feel terrible.
`Everyone looks at Sabre`
Sabre: I regret nothing.
Charming: You probably really hurt her.
Ava: Or at least her pride. I think you managed to deflate her boobs a little, Sabre.
Sabre: Really?
`Holds Blue Fairy in front of her and stares at her boobs`
Sabre: Yes! IN YOUR FACE!
`Sabre ensues victory dance`
Hook: They do look smaller.
`Everyone stare's at Hook`
Juliet: Both of you are horrible tonight!
Ava: We are still not as bad as you were those two weekends…
Sabre: Wait! If killing it resurrected whoever's shadow was taken doesn't that mean that someone is now trapped in Neverland forever?
`In Neverland`
Gregg: Hello? Anyone?
`At the church`
Ava: Sucks to be them…
~Just a little~
Blue: I may have been overly strict…
Sabre: Oh, really?
Blue: I am trying to apologize.
Juliet: And we are telling you to stick it up your ass!
Ava: Seriously what you did to Tink is not cool!
Blue: I did what I did to make her understand!
Sabre: Understand what? How much of a bitch you are? In that case it certainly worked.
Ava: You took away her wings and her life because you wanted to teach her a lesson?
Juliet: Sounds like jealousy to me!
Blue: Jealous? Why would I be jealous?
Sabre: First off Tink doesn't look like a flying blue jellyfish when she's in fairy mode.
Juliet: She also makes better use of pixie dust than you do.
Ava: And she actually tries to help people. Remind us why you are in charge again.
Blue: I'm the head fairy…I was chosen to watch over things!
Ava: That doesn't mean you get to bitch about it.
Sabre: Or use it as an excuse.
Juliet: Or allow you to mean to others.
Ava: Take it like a woman!
Sabre: Don't you mean like a man?
Ava: No because you have to account for those days of PMS.
Juliet: The only leeway we have for the Blue Fairy.
Sabre: Do Fairies even have periods?
~Where's my mummy?~
Sabre: Really? No one wants to stay long enough to see Pan dead, but when Rumple wants to stay Belle has to ask him to leave. How is any of this a good idea?
Snow: He's harmless now.
Ava: Pan was built up as one of the greatest villains of this series, but they want to leave him alone in Gold's shop with an assortment of magical items that could just as easily wipe them out in the wrong hands.
Juliet: Well they are Charmings.
Charming: Will you stop using that line?
Ava: But not all of them are Charmings which means they are all stupid.
Sabre: So the Charming disease has officially been proven contagious by this act of stupidity.
`Pan wakes up`
Pan: You must feel pretty comfortable. The way you strut and pose now that I'm powerless.
Sabre: 'The way you strut and pose.' Apparently, Gold is a lion.
Ava: The cowardly lion? Haha! It all makes so much sense now!
Rumple: I am not a coward. Not anymore!
Sabre: Oh no. What did Gold do to Dorothy then?
Juliet: I don't really care about Dorothy, but what about Toto?
`Pan continues with rant`
Pan: The curse will fill their lungs and they will be consumed…
Juliet: Gas masks! They need gas masks!
Sabre: Would it stop the Charming plague?
Juliet: Somehow I doubt it…
`Ava is wearing a gas mask`
Ava: Are you my mummy?
Pan: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!
~Rumple~
Ava: You are no longer a badass…
Juliet: Seriously, how dumb are you?
Ava: You are now a dumbass…
Sabre: If Gregg and Tamara had that as a weapon to use against you and was working for Pan in the first place then clearly Pan created it!
`Rumple gets thrown across the room`
Ava: We were supposed to be afraid of you throughout all of season one? Come on!
Sabre: Now I want to laugh at you with that annoying ass laugh from that first season. Heehee! It's all over now, dearie.
…..
Ava: Please never do that again.
Juliet: That was the scariest thing I have seen all day.
Sabre: What's wrong, dearie? Haahaa!
Rumple: I don't sound like that!
Juliet: Have you ever stopped and listened to yourself?
Ava: Please make it stop!
`Sabre chases them out of the shop trying to laugh like Rumple used to`
~Weird~
Ava: Henry's growth spurt makes flashbacks weird.
Juliet: Well it's hard to do when he gets older.
Ava: I know, but that growth spurt makes him look like he's fifteen. In the flashbacks he's only supposed to be 10.
Sabre: It's especially weird when all the other kid extras in background do look like they're ten.
Ava: Exactly!
Juliet: They can't help it. Circumstances…
Mary Margaret: Henry's just a child I don't understand what you are trying to say here.
Ava: That's okay Pan tried to play ignorant too.
`Henry opens book and looks at Mary Margret`
Sabre: He could have at least flashed back to a prettier dress.
Juliet: No kidding that thing still looks hideous 28 years later.
Snow: Stop making fun of my dress.
Sabre: Big bird was never in style to wear and never will be.
Ava: 28 years later…that should be the next big zombie flick. It will then become a trilogy.
…..
Snow: What?
Juliet: We are talking about dresses, feathers, and Snow White. How does any of that involve zombies?
Ava: …Went off on a tangent I guess.
Sabre: And then managed to jump the shark…
~Gross~
Juliet: Stop with the hand shots. That's just gross.
Ava: I knew they had some bad screen shots of Rumple when he had the gold paint on, but this is actually quite disturbing to look at.
Sabre: Here you have it folks. Ava, horror extraordinaire, is freaked out by Gold's hands with the gold body paint on.
Juliet: Have you looked at those things?
Sabre: Not really…
Ava: Well then take another look.
….
Sabre: Is…that hair…on his hands?
Juliet: Maybe…
Ava: I thought that it was the dead skin peeling off of him to get rid of the paint.
Juliet: Either way it's gross.
Rumple: Something wrong, dearies?
Ava: Just stop with hand shots, please.
Rumple: Whose hands? My hands?
`Rumple flashes his hands at us and we have to look away`
Juliet: Those are so gross!
Ava: Just wait another minute and the scene will change.
Sabre: Unless he plans on flashing us again.
Rumple: Haahaa!
Ava: Oh god…
Juliet: We're gonna die here…
~Disappointment~
Sabre: She didn't eat the curse…I'm disappointed.
Regina: What?
Ava: I doubt that curses are part of a balanced breakfast.
Juliet: Why did you expect her to eat it?
Sabre: I just wanted her too!
Ava: That's like saying you want chocolate to rain from the sky just because you want it to happen doesn't mean that it will.
Sabre: It worked for Tinkerbell!
Ava:…Touché…
Juliet: I have yet to see a movie where the said curse is eaten by the original caster.
Sabre: There is a first time for everything!
Regina: I'm not eating the curse…
Sabre: Come on, please! If I can't have the Blue Fairy dead then please eat the curse.
Regina: No, that's not how it works.
Sabre: Augh! Tink, can you believe and make her eat the curse?
Tink: It's like they said that's not how this works.
Sabre: Ugh!
….
Ava: I bet money that you're just really hunger right now.
Juliet: You would win.
Ava: Wanna go to Granny's?
Sabre: SHUT UP!
~Hand Play~
`Rumple picks up the sword`
Juliet: Don't cut off your hand!
Sabre: Chew off your hand, be a man!
Ava: Neither of your ideas are sound.
Juliet: There has to be another way!
Sabre: There is only one way.
Juliet: Don't do it!
Sabre: Do it!
Rumple: Will all of you SHUT UP! And let me think!
…..
`Rumple comes up with an idea and leaves the shop`
…..
Sabre: I don't know how much more disappointment I can take.
Juliet: I don't know what you were thinking, but I am certainly relieved.
Sabre: You were freaking out about his hand earlier I thought that you would love to see it go.
Ava: That was just with the paint on it and to be fair it did look horrendous.
Juliet: But there would have been blood and it would have been violent….and that's not how this show works!
Ava: But it might have made it better.
Sabre: Anything could have made this show better. If Charming ran someone through it would make this show better.
Juliet: What is wrong with you guys?
Ava: Says the woman who was depressed when the Blue Fairy lived.
Sabre: And someone thought you were going to throw Felix off the flying ship. Don't talk to us about violence young lady.
~Fail~
`Pan freezes everyone`
Sabre: Everyone here sucks at standing still…
Juliet: I thought Pan was supposed to be weakening…Wasn't he dying earlier?
Ava: Was the camera department unable to take a still frame picture of the characters in those positions and repaste them to the shot?
Juliet: Be fair to the show they keep losing viewers and that means that they are losing money and funding.
Sabre: And we all know the reason behind it!
`Everyone looks at Charming`
Ava: It's funny because he can't retort while he's horribly pretending to be frozen.
Sabre: What if a big wind came and blew everyone over? WHAT IF THE BIG BAD WOLF CAME AND BLEW THEM OVER?! DO IT!
Juliet: Sadly there are no more wolves in Storybrooke.
Ava: Red flew the coop for another TV show.
Sabre: Why are they getting rid of all the strong female protagonists? It's annoying.
Juliet: I bet she just wanted to get out of those revealing outfits that she had to wear for the show.
Ava: Those were hardly revealing. She didn't dress like a Victoria Secret model on the runway. Then we can talk revealing.
Sabre: They are frozen in the middle of town and no one sees this?
Ava: I know. There are plenty of cars moving in the background.
Juliet: It's because after season two, everyone doesn't care what happens to their king, or queen, or princess, or young prince.
Ava: No kidding who are they expecting to rule when they get home if they let their royalty do all of the dangerous stunts and possibly die?
Juliet: Mickey Mouse?
Pan: It will be me!
Ava: Definitely Walt Disney!
~Continuity~
Juliet: Oh my god! Wait…that dagger isn't long enough to do that…
Ava: That's why it's called a dagger. If you want to run someone through you generally need a sword. A dagger is made for only one death per use.
Pan: We can start over.
Sabre: And how did that go last time?
Ava: It looks like death and destruction to me.
Rumple: Bad guys don't get happy endings.
Juliet: How are both of them still talking? They have a dagger run through both of their chests…supposedly.
Ava: Well it can't go through the vertebrae column and less you have dead accurate aim and make it through the plates, but I would imagine that a dagger wouldn't make it that far. So that leaves the only conclusion that he managed to stick it in Pan's lungs and through Pan's rib cage to kill himself.
Sabre: What I don't get it that he killed plenty of soldiers with the dagger after her first got his powers. Would it be so hard to kill Pan and just walk away?
Juliet: This episode is unusually violent and it needs to create some drama so they have to find away to kill him.
Ava: There should be blood leaking out of Pan's mouth. And Rumple's for that matter.
Sabre: Sorry to burst your blood bubble there, science woman, but there is magic here and therefore acts as a loophole to anything resembling fact.
Juliet: Unless it fits the plot of course.
Ava: But it would make the scene more dramatic.
~180~
`Regina keeps zoning out`
`Sabre and Juliet snap their fingers in front of her to try and wake her up`
Sabre: Hello? Is anyone home?
Juliet: Why does she keep doing that?
Ava: There must be something hard for her to do up ahead. She's trying to put off the inevitable by making sad and distant faces at the camera.
Snow: No she isn't.
Sabre: If only that worked with Chemistry.
`Sabre holds up online Chem. homework and makes a sad, distant face`
Hook: What is Chemistry?
Ava: Don't ask.
Juliet: Now you just look silly.
Ava: But is it working?
Sabre: No.
Ava: Damn.
Regina: I have to give up what I love most.
Ava: Suits.
Regina: No.
Juliet: Apples.
Regina: No.
Sabre: What Regina loves most? Henry, you are going to die.
Regina: No, he's not going to die. I just have to leave him behind.
Ava: There is more than one version of being left behind, Sabre.
Sabre: Nope. There is only LEFT FOR DEAD.
Ava: That is a fun game.
Juliet: Monsters?
Ava: Zombies!
Juliet Figures…
Hook: What in Poseidon's name is a zombie?
Ava: So glad you asked-
Juliet: No! No! No more violence or death.
Sabre: Take the fun out of everything…
~Curses~
Sabre: This curse is taking way too long to get here!
Ava: Not kidding. Pan gathered all of the ingredients last night and threw them into the well early that morning, but we are nearing the end of the day when it finally makes it to town.
….
Juliet: You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout I'm telling you why: SANTA CLAUSE IS COMING TO TOWN!
…..
Ava: Normally I would scream 'STOP IT'. But quite frankly I could use a little holiday cheer.
Sabre: That sucks for Storybrooke children. They get all excited for Christmas, and then their parents don't celebrate because the curse is coming.
Ava: Are you imagining crying children?
Sabre: …No…
Juliet: That's so sad.
Ava: I imagine Henry and Emma when you say that.
Snow: You need to believe in yourself Emma.
Sabre: I DON'T BELIEVE!
Juliet: There aren't any fairies around here.
Ava: Emma isn't a fairy.
….
Sabre: I still don't believe…
Regina: I believe your mermaid is still missing.
…
…
Sabre: FUCK YOU!
~My goodness~
`Everyone is gathered to say goodbye at the town lines`
Juliet: THIS IS SO HEARTBREAKING!
Sabre: There are way too many emotional scenes here. Get on with it!
Ava: This is the emotional climax of the midseason finale. They have to play it for all it's worth.
Regina: I can give you a future.
Juliet: I CAN'T TAKE THIS!
Ava: I can't…umm…you win, Regina.
Regina: What?
Ava: I thought that maybe you would revert back to your evil and diabolical self and that I wouldn't have to do this, but you're alright, Regina. Keep…keep being good, alright?
`Everyone is speechless`
Sabre: Ava has finally given in to the fact that Regina has changed. Good for you.
Regina: It's about time.
`Ava pouts for being wrong`
Snow: We will always love you.
Sabre: Yeah, yeah. Get on with it.
Juliet: SO MUCH FEELS!
Snow: Don't rush us. These are our last moments with our daughter.
Sabre: Yeah, yeah.
Ava: That curse is taking way too long!
Sabre: You just want it to come so you will be out of this awkward position you are in.
Ava: Shut up.
`Gran is hugging Juliet`
Juliet: THIS IS SO SAD!
~Hook?~
Ava: What the fuck?! That was not who I was expecting despite how much sense that makes.
Hook: Love, we need you.
Sabre: That is one sweet alarm clock! I want it!
`Sabre runs over and begins to steal said alarm clock`
Henry: Hey, that's ours!
Sabre: Mine, now.
Juliet: Better just let her take it. You'll live longer.
`Emma knees Hook after he kisses her`
Juliet and Sabre: Ooohhh. That had to hurt.
Ava: HAHAHAHAHA!
Juliet: That man got kneed in his jewels. Have you no compassion?
Ava: I have compassion, but my sense of humor is king at this point.
Sabre: Wouldn't it have been awkward if it had been a little girl coming to say I'm your daughter?
Ava: That makes me wonder how Emma got pregnant in an all women prison.
Juliet: Maybe it would be Henry's twin?
Ava: Another fifteen year old pretending to be thirteen or something like that.
Henry: I have a twin sister.
Emma: No you don't.
Sabre: It just got all Star Wars up in here.
Juliet: That makes Emma Darth Vader!
Ava: HAHAHAHAHA!