Really short chapter here, sorry. But anyway, enjoy.
Bills POV:
122 years, to this day.
I never forget an anniversary. The death of a president, the date of a horrid disaster, the finale of a war, or the ending of an innocent town... I never forget. Although this one, I honestly wish I could. But that's not happening anytime soon. I can mess with any mind, any conscience. At the snap of my fingers I can cause even the most easygoing of people to go insane, I can cause even the most pleasant of memories to become dreaded fears.
But undoing that? Now that's a whole different story. Memories are easy to mess with, but impossible to mend or erase. Damn the human mind. At least damn this mind, I can't change anything! Immortality may be an asset, but it can be a pain in these situations.
Oh a good pain indeed.
I'm currently just wandering the forest, as I always do. My conscious is my only company, my thoughts are my only entertainment. What was entertainment before thought? My siblings? My friends? That silly little violin, currently collecting dust inside that wooden trunk in our old cabin?
I miss the old days, where I could do what I wanted, when I wanted.
'Bill Cipher, all powerful demonic entity of the mind!' The most powerful, the most free!
But not anymore, for the peace of mankind.
Mankind...so puny, so pathetic. And yet I still hold a care for them. Why? Because all it takes is one little human, and I have to look after them all. For her sake. Always for her.
I highly doubt she's taking this day lightly as well. Or him.
It will always be a thorn in our sides, that dreaded day. Constantly poking at us until we get the courage to pull it out, until we get the courage to accept the past. Though the one harder thing than forgetting, will always be accepting. That's a rule we all understand.
So mister all powerful demon, what will you do about it? What mind tricks can you pull up your sleeve? What tactic will you take to accept? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. You're weak, and always will be weak. How do I expect to take on the days to come when I remain this way, this, dare I say, sorrowful...
"You could find her, talk to her even." Says one side of my conscience.
"Are you crazy? What makes you think she would even want to see you? She'd most likely be terrified." Argues the other side. These little confrontations have been happening alot lately...
"Terrified? Please! She'd most likely jump into your arms with joy! After all these years, she's bound to have forgiven you for that unfortunate misfire."
"Are you insane Cipher? Ok maybe a little...ok, a lot. But it's that little misfire that caused her to run away in the first place! It's why we've avoided her all this time! Why we let her be!"
"Well stop being a coward and go find out for yourself! There's no pain in trying right?"
"Yes there's pain! Loads of pain!"
"Wimp!"
"Jerk!"
"Weasel!"
SHUT UP! I yell at my arguing conscience. God those guys are annoying.
But would she honestly want to see me? Could we look away from the past, mend bonds even? It would be nice, no, relieving to see her again. I've been keeping watch on her from a distance for so long, without having the guts to even say a simple hello. I've been protecting her for decades and she never even knew it. With occasional breaks of course. I need to spend a few years to myself don't I?
"She isn't a child anymore Cipher." Points out one side of my conscience. "She can take care of herself."
"No she can't! She may not be a child anymore but we're still her eldest brother! And we promised our father we'd watch over them!" Argues the other side. Here we go again.
"But we practically raised them already! You taught them how to tie their shoes, how to read, how to play the piano, even how to freaking conjure spells at one point! How much do we have to do? How long do we have to look after them?"
"For as long as it damn well takes! Despite what they think, they will always need us!"
"No they won't! They are perfectly fine of looking after themselves. It's about time we start caring about our needs!"
"That can never happen, they come first beyond anything else. And it's going to stay that way!"
"Wrong again! You never listen! Look bud, if you really still feel that way, we should go see them! Or at least her! She needs you more than anyone else."
"Again...I guess there is no pain in trying, but we'll have to find her first."
"Told you pinhead!"
"Dingus!"
"Cobble brains!"
SHUT UP!
But what would happen if she pushes me away again, if she doesn't even want to look at me?
"No shame in trying."
No shame in trying eh? I guess I've got a point there, how intuitive of me.
"Why thank you"
"No problem."
...I've been alone way too long.