I did it! Hello, welcome to Chapter 11 of 'Drugtionary'! I finally finished this chapter! It was as tedious as washing dishes in cold water! Anyways, I got a grand total of 58 reviews by Chapter 10: Marufu-chan, Saga of Eternal Rain, Fallende, Grinss, and Hikou no Kokoro! You guys keep me motivated, you know that, right? Sadly, I can't reply to all of you (Grinss… ;_; ). However, I can give you a chapter! So! Let us commence forthwith with Chapter 11 of 'Drugtionary'!

Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man is property of Katsura Hoshino and Funimation. This series is a parody and nothing more, so please support the official release. Got it? Damn well better.

~O~

11. Rough Divide

The morning greeted him with dark clouds and a couple of rumbles of thunder. Despite it being so late in the season (it was autumn, after all), it rather suited his mood. He was mad, mostly because he had to get up and get ready to drop out of school, and that meant dealing with Leverrier, also known as Satan's Spawn. No one, not even Lenalee, was safe from his grasp.

Lenalee was also a problem. Undoubtedly, he would run into her and she would be concerned because she knew where he lived. She would ask how he was and where Lavi was, when in reality, the bastard was dead. He didn't want to talk about it. The very thought of it made him partially sick, because he knew what was coming and didn't stop it. Baka Usagi's death was on his hands, which pleased Alma to no end, though Kanda was less than enthused.

He sat up, pushing aside the covers before staring blankly at his own hands. Large as they were, he could only see bloodstains on them. He knew they wouldn't come off, mostly because he knew they were a hallucination, but that didn't change anything. The color reminded him of the bean sprout's deformed hand, which was red and wrinkled and had that cross embedded into it. How he managed to do that was beyond him, because it looked too painful and time-consuming for words.

A soft chipper indicated the skipping of the annoying Noah girl, Rhode, which was coming in the direction of his room. He sighed heavily. She couldn't be any worse than Allen could.

"Yoo-hoo, Kanda!" She opened the door, beaming darkly in the way that she had, and walked lightly on her feet towards him. "Oh? You're already up? No fair! That takes the fun out of everything!" She folded her arms across her chest before huffing. "Well, whatever. I found a pair of clothes that would work for you. Your old ones are going in the wash. Though, in my opinion, we should throw them away, because they look icky and gross, like an old lollipop found in a couch cushion."

He frowned. "I never asked for your fashion advice, now did I?"

"No, but I felt like stating the obvious. Hurry up! We're going to leave soon."

He watched her leave, closing the door behind her, which left him alone. He groaned loudly. Alma, please tell me she's an Akuma so I can stab her repeatedly with Mugen…

'Sorry, Yuu,' he replied, tossing a stone across a pond, 'but she's as real as you.'

Annoyed, he stood up and stretched, noticing a pair of clothes sitting on the cabinet for him. He didn't even notice she brought them in with her. He shrugged. Weirder things have happened to him. He put them on, not caring for the fact that they seemed rather big on him, and found his shoes. He needed a new pair soon, because the soles were starting to fall off. Nothing was going right for him anymore.

Then again, life wasn't that simple.

He tied on the shoes before pushing the door out of his way, his stomach growling. Food was in order, though what the Noah had in supply was in question. Rhode's voice picked up in his ears, followed by a small 'hmm' by Tyki. It didn't take less than a sentence to know she was talking about Moyashi, which didn't surprise him in the least. He tuned out their conversation. Hey, do you have any advice on how to mange Leverrier? I can't just go in there and not expect a bruise or two.

'Bring a stick that looks capable of knocking someone out without breaking. That generally works, and it shuts people up, too.'

Are you speaking from personal experience?

'You threatened me with Mugen numerous of times. I found it effective against me, so why not against Leverrier?' He shrugged. 'I doubt those rumors about him having that army of Crows or whatever aren't real. I think he's a big fat liar.'

Well, you got the 'big' and 'fat' part down… Even though he really isn't. Kanda dug through the kitchen (which had far too many cabinets for his liking. Seriously, who needed twenty of those things? Not even the rich did) to find something he actually liked, which was oatmeal. It was perfectly plain, which made him happier than normal. However, Kanda did not have happiness— all he had was 'less annoyed than normal'.

"Ew, oatmeal. Yuck!" The littler girl scrunched her face after seeing him eat some of the mushy substance. "Out of all the things. Not only does your fashion sense suck, but your taste buds could have a revision, too."

"Did I ask for your opinion on what I dressed like and what I ate?"

"Didn't you already ask that question, girly?" Rhode giggled. "I felt like stating the obvious."

"What did you just call me?"

"Oh, settle down," Tyki intervened, stepping in between the two. "Rhode is just upset because Allen blew her off, so she's taking it out on you. Don't pay her any attention." He pulled out a package of cigarettes and pulled one out, lighting it before inhaling deeply. "Anyways, you two are cutting it close to what time you need to be at school. It's a thirty minute walk from here to there, so I recommend you two leave now."

"What about you, Tyki?" Rhode asked, looking confused.

"I'll drive, obviously. Besides, my first class isn't until nine this morning. I don't have to rush." He seemed to be smirking, but Kanda couldn't tell. "You, bouya. Be careful around Leverrier. If anything goes wrong, say, 'Adam Millennium will not be pleased', and he should let you go off the bat."

The Japanese man blinked. Did Leverrier make a deal with the Earl? That would explain why he acts so high and mighty at our school. Huh.

He placed the bowl off to one side and tried looking for his backpack— Oh wait, I don't have one anymore, and I don't need it, anyways… —before starting to leave. Rhode followed behind him, carrying a pink umbrella with a pumpkin on it. He frowned. The rain was starting to pick up, which he despised, as they pushed past the double doors of the Grandworth. Lightning spruced up overhead, causing a lightshow for its prepaid guests to enjoy. Little drops of hydrogen oxide fell onto his head, causing him to scowl.

"You wanna share my umbrella?" Rhode offered, giggling.

"Fuck no. I'd be found dead before I get caught sharing a pink umbrella with a girl."

"It was just a question! No need to be a meanie-jerk! See, this is how you and Allen are different. He actually has manners, where as you do not! He's also…"

At that point, Kanda tuned her out. Talk of the bean sprout first thing in the morning was the first sign that his day was not going to go well. The thunderstorm going on was the second indication, and going to see Leverrier to drop out of school was the hook, line, and sinker. If that wasn't bad enough, going clothes shopping with Rhode was the final nail in the cardboard box coffin.

Her ranting became gibberish as Alma started throwing bigger rocks into the pond, the large 'splash' noises being enough to cut at least her speech in half. At one point, he found a baseball bat and began tossing the large stones into the air, whacking them with a hard force that caused them to ricochet off the trees and into the pond. It nearly deafened him, but at that point, he cared less.

Another flash of lightning beamed in the darkened hearts of the clouds as the school gates came into eye's view. He could hear the annoying girl ask him if he was even listening, but he ignored her to answer her question. She rolled her eyes as they stepped into the main yard, deserted of all teenaged-life. The rain had chased them off or (hopefully) melted them. The doors loomed in front of them like gateways to a mental hospital, only full of loud inmates who couldn't contain their stupidity.

To Kanda, it was a mental Hell.

He opened the door for Rhode, mostly because he wanted to get rid of her as soon as possible. The main hall was crowded with people, the noise level higher than normal. He grimaced. Why couldn't he have just stayed home?

"Kanda!"

Lenalee. He pushed into the crowd, hoping to lose her. Alma blinked out confusion and asked something, though the noise cloaked it down to a little buzz of nothing. He stepped behind one person, then another, then broke out of the chippers of illiterate morons and ran. The school building had four levels, three above ground and one underneath. He rushed by a teacher— Tiedoll, who blinked once in amazement —before leaping up four stairs at once, hoping to ditch her.

Sadly, the sole of his shoe flipped back and caught on the stair, causing him to fall face-first onto the cement step. Lenalee, who was one step behind, stopped and frowned. She helped him up and sighed. "Why did you run away from me?"

"Che." He rubbed his forehead, annoyed that his own shoes betrayed him, the bastards.

"That's not an answer." She sat down on the step beside him, still frowning. He hated it when she looked like that. It meant she was going to go into a speech about something pointless or ask stupid questions. He placed his bet on the latter. "Anyways, I read in the newspaper today that there was a fire at your apartment building and that…" Her voice trailed off, as if trying to find a nice way to say something terrible.

"That people died," he finished for her. He already knew that much. He knew that much and didn't want to talk about it, period. It was a subject locked behind twenty doors, though Lenalee was the type to pick at those locks until she died or they gave way.

"Yes. That people died." Her fingers fidgeted as she chewed her bottom lip. "I was worried that… that you were one of them, Kanda. But you're not." She looked over at him, noticing how blank his look was. "Did… Did Lavi…?"

"Who the fuck cares about that damn rabbit?"

"Kanda—!"

"Che." His glare caused her to fall silent, her hands covering her mouth. "In reality, I don't know if he's alive. I think he's dead. I don't care. He was just a stupid idiot, in the end." He stood up, glaring down at her. "So don't ask me anymore stupid questions."

She stood up as well and returned his glare. "It's not stupid, it's logical. He was your friend—"

"—I don't have any friends—"

"—and you do care, I know you do—"

"—Stop making assumptions, that pisses me o—"

"—and will you let me finish!" She slapped him hard enough to make an echo sound, followed by silence. His face turned into a look of hatred as a result. Lenalee didn't seem to notice, nor did she care. "Listen to me, Kanda! I am so sick of your attitude on this! Stop that! Stop saying that you don't care when you do! Look at you!" She grabbed him by the collar, causing him to look her in the eyes. Tears were definitely there in her eyes. "I can tell you do! I know you're worried, otherwise, you wouldn't have tried to run!"

"Lenalee—"

"Don't." She let him go, turning her head away. "I know what you're going to say, and I don't want to hear it." Her shoulders shook slightly, which slightly irked him. "I don't want to hear it again. Kanda… I tried. I really did. I don't want to give up on you, but if you keep living in denial, if you keep living like this, then you're really going to end up as a pathetic existence."

"And—"

"—that's bad, how?" she finished, voice surprisingly low. "It is bad. You don't understand, do you? Lavi would have asked me where you were if you were the one missing in action. He would have been worried, because I know he saw you as a friend. When I saw you two together, I was happy. I thought you finally found a decent friend who would be there for you. And now look." She turned her head, crying. "Now look! You are just acting like it's not important!"

"It's not important." He began descending the stairs, leaving her behind. "I don't care, Lenalee. You're little view on life has nothing to do with me. If he's dead, good. If not, then the fire didn't finish its job." He stopped to look at her. She was staring at the stairs, hopeless and defeated. "I'm dropping out of school, Lenalee. You'll never hear from me again. I'll become that 'pathetic existence' you claimed me to be, and I still won't care. You might as well stop, too."

"Kanda—!"

"As I said before," he said calmly, walking down the hall towards Leverrier's office, "most prayers go unanswered, no matter how hard you try."

~O~

He waited about an hour or so before Leverrier allowed him into his office. The stiff silence between the two consumed approximately twenty-two seconds of their time. The older man coughed once before cracking his knuckles. "Hello," he said bitterly, "Kanda."

"Che. Hello, fuck-tard," he replied, no longer caring for speaking properly. "I'm here to get my G.E.D. because I'm dropping out of you damn school system."

Leverrier raised an eyebrow. "Why should I even give you your G.E.D.? You don't even deserve it."

'Oh boy.' Alma was skipping over logs now, entering a field filled with wheat. 'I think you kinda got him on his bad side, Yuu.'

Shut up. I know. He cleared his throat. "If you don't give it to me," he said smoothly, "then I'll tell Adam Millennium that you've been uncooperative. Do I make myself clear?"

He watched as Leverrier, who was normally calm (if you call being pissed-off 'calm'), turned a shade of white, then pale, then whiter. His eyes were twitching uncontrollably, knowing that he was cornered. His hands were clenching the edge of the desk. Something told Kanda that he had the ace of spades card in his hand, and everyone knew that the ace of spades represented one thing— Death.

"You know… Shit." The man stared firmly at his desk, grinding his teeth together. Kanda knew the Earl scared some people, but he never knew to what extent. Leverrier looked as if he had just crossed the thin rope, just to find out that there was an axe aimed at his head on the other side. "Very well. It will be sent to you as soon as I fill out the paperwork required. It may take a day or so. Is that acceptable, Kanda?"

Victory was a lovely thing. The Japanese man nodded. "That's fine. Send it to the Grandworth to Adam himself."

"You damned punk." Leverrier rose from his seat. The whites of his eyes filled with popping veins, indicating his seething attitude. "How the fuck do you know the Millennium Earl?"

"Let's just say we're 'friends'," Kanda replied, and found his way out of his office, smirking to himself. That was easier than he expected. However, he was still curious of what Leverrier owed the Earl.

Alma shrugged. 'Could be money?'

No. Leverrier makes far too much money as the principal of this high school. He walked down the halls towards the front door, walking past the stairwell. He stopped in front of it, seeing Lenalee crying there still. He blinked once, and she was gone. Something broke inside him, though he didn't know what. He knew he hurt her feelings— it wasn't hard to do —but part of him thought he crossed the line there. Was it guilt? He shrugged it off and continued walking. Maybe he asked for a favor. What if the Crows everyone talks about are actually the Noah?

'I never thought of that.' His friend tapped his finger against his chin. 'That actually makes sense. If he had the Noah protecting him, then no one can touch him. Well, except for you, Yuu. You totally had him freaking out back there.'

Che. He deserved it.

'Agreed.'

He walked back outside to see it was still raining, much to his annoyance. He was already wet and he didn't want to get sick again. He always got sick whenever he stood out in the rain long enough. Sighing, he hit his head off the door and groaned. He didn't want to think about getting sick. Last time he was sick, Baka Usagi was there. He was there, grinning, and he hugged him like a moron that he was and…

Stop it. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block the memory out. Stop it. I don't want to remember that right now. He's dead, for fuck's sake. It's over for him. So stop.

'Are you still thinking about him, Yuu?' Alma huffed angrily. 'He put a curse on you, I can just feel it. It would be best if you just forgot him like he never existed.'

Yeah. He stepped out into the rain and began walking. He started heading towards his apartment when he stopped. Right, it burned down. But… He resumed walking in that direction, wanting to see how badly it burned. He hated this thing called 'curiosity'. It always led people astray from where they were going. However, he had nothing else to do aside from waiting for Rhode, so he figured he might as well.

He walked down the familiar sidewalk and headed left, spotting Lenalee's café. He immediately turned his head away and kept walking before seeing the remains.

Charred wood and glass made up the remnants, along with yellow tape surrounding it saying 'DO NOT ENTER'. It was deserted and forgotten. He could see a doll that belonged to a little girl, probably the one on the third floor, underneath a beam, its eyes missing. The dress was scorched. Beside that was an old photo frame, the glass missing and probably scattered with everything else. Tarps were placed here and there, either covering up dead bodies or something of the like. He glanced over to his left and noticed something familiar.

Making sure that no one was around, he ducked under the yellow tape and walked towards it, frowning. It stuck out from what seemed to be part of the roof and several beams, all blackened with burn marks. He pulled on it and it ripped loudly. An orange cloth, or rather, a scarf, was in his hands, mostly okay. How did people die and the scarf remain unscathed? It was a mystery he doubted he would find out.

'Yuu? Is that your scarf?'

No. He folded it up and frowned, knowing it wouldn't fit in his pocket. He unfolded it and wrapped it around his neck. Even though it ripped in half (the other half was probably burnt, anyways), it was long enough to wrap around his neck. It's no one of importance's scarf. I'm keeping it.

'Okay?'

He sighed heavily. He knew it was Lavi's scarf, but he certainly wasn't telling that to Alma. He figured it was a perfectly good scarf, so why not?

He started walking again, with no idea where he was going and not giving a damn what happened to him, leaving the building and the dead behind.

~O~

When it was confirmed that Bookman was dead, his brain went into auto-pilot mode. He could remember police asking him questions (what my name is what my age is what happened do I know no I don't stop asking me I don't know) and Cross talking about him living with him temporarily (until I get a new place until I manage to get my head out of this funk Lavi come on this is nothing new people die they always die die die die why did this happen) and nothing more, just blank darkness.

Or was that just the pillow covering his head?

The thunder outside boomed loudly as he removed the pillow off of his face (it's nice and cool why am I taking it off), sitting up. His back cracked with unfamiliar pain (must've slept wrong), his eye blinking away the morning fog slowly. He could hear Cross (womanizer seriously a womanizer he needs a life) outside the door, shuffling papers or something of the like (wait does he even read).

Bookman's dead (Bookman's dead?). His own mind was betraying him (what's the point of waking up) as he stood up, his feet (cold) touching the floor.

Yuu's dead, too (Yuu's dead, too?).

(there's no proof though) You know it in your heart.

(bookmen have no need for a heart but I already had forgotten that huh)

He opened the closet door and saw clothes hanging from their hangers, lifeless (lifeless everything seems so damn lifeless) and limp. He pulled out a shirt and some jeans and put them on tiredly (my arms hurt).

(fucking Noah!)

He opened the door to see Cross sitting there, going through many papers. They covered the entire desk, to his surprise. He didn't even look up, but he grunted to acknowledge that he heard him there. Lavi didn't really care if he noticed him or not. He dragged a chair out from under a table and sat down, picking up one of them. It was a rough draft of a request to the President, saying something about the Earl going to try to attack on the day of the speech.

"Put it down, kid." Cross pushed aside another paper and picked up another. "This is not your war anymore."

"The hell it isn't," he replied. "Bookman tried his hardest to get these guys caught, and now you're saying I can't participate? That's bull!" He slammed his fist down onto the table, having difficulty controlling his spontaneous anger. "I—"

"You aren't doing anything until you calm down," Cross replied coolly. He looked up from the paper, having a serious expression on his face. "Your anger is ugly, and I hate being surrounded by ugly things. I would throw you out that window, but considering how I'm going to need you in two days, I have to keep you alive. Otherwise…"

Lavi blinked once and found himself putting his hands up, a gun pointed at his forehead while Cross was looking down at a paper. He moved his free hand and pulled out a cigarette, put it in his mouth, and lit it. He inhaled deeply, then exhaled before looking at the younger redhead with a fake-charming smile. "…I would have shot you by now. Understand?"

I-Is this guy even a cop? He nodded several times, hoping to God that the man wouldn't pull the trigger. The hand relaxed and the gun was put back in its holster.

"Anyways, we need to plan in two day's time. I have an idea for what we can do during the President's speech, which starts at eleven-fifty." Cross took out a map of the Grandworth Stadium, which was one of the largest stadiums in the county. He took out a red pen and circled it around a certain room. "This is the skybox. From here, security is going to be tight. They've installed security cameras for the event, just to be safe, but I doubt that will stop the Earl."

"I have a question…" Lavi peered closer at the map and frowned. "How come the President is giving the speech there? Isn't that the perfect spot for, I dunno, someone to assassinate him?"

"Idiot. That's why there's the skybox."

His frown deepened. "That's it?"

"And mandatory security. The President doubts that the Earl even exists, due to the lack of knowing who he really is." He sighed heavily, letting the wisps of smoke float freely through the air. Lavi never liked the concept of smoking, mostly because of how terrible it smelled. "We don't even have a photo I.D. of the bastard. The President is one of those types that he has to see it to believe it."

That's gonna be his downfall, then. The younger redhead sighed. "Let me guess. Are we also going to be the security without the President knowing?"

"Bingo. We take down anyone who is acting suspicious at the speech. The main entrance of the President, especially. Any slight shifts in movement that seem unnecessary we can't just avoid. Do you think you can handle that, Bookman Junior?"

I know Bookman would have been able to. Lavi bit his lower lip. But me? I'm just an apprentice. If I fuck up, then everything will be my fault. However, if I do nothing, I'll regret it for the rest of my life. The President comes in two days. I can come up with a plan by then. He nodded once, grinning. "Hell yeah."

"Don't get cocky. That attitude will kill you."

"Uh, then why are you not dead?"

"There's a difference between 'cocky' and 'just plain awesome', kid." Cross smirked at his own comeback while putting out his cigarette. "Now if you excuse me, I've got a date to attend to."

Womanizer… Lavi thought, watching the player leave the apartment in a flashy way. Definitely a womanizer…

~O~

Oh with the fire and the burning… Anyways. Woo-hoo! Chapter 11, done! So! Do you like it? Hate it? Love it? Destroy it? Hit me with a review, por favor (I'm doing good with replying! Yay~)! See you later in Chapter 12, yatta! —Mr. Ree