Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars.
AN: Here's chapter 11! Enjoy and let me know what you think!
Foundations of Hope
Chapter 11: Visions of the Past
"This...this can't be," Shaak stammered, as she stared at the living, breathing Tahl Skywalker, a woman who had been presumed dead for almost twenty years.
"Shaak, it really is me," Tahl replied, as the two friends embraced in a big hug.
"How..how is this possible? They said you were dead," Shaak said.
"I had to let everyone believe that to protect my baby," Tahl said, as tears slid down her cheeks.
"Leaving Ani behind was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. It nearly did kill me, but I had to do it, in order to save his life," Tahl cried.
"Oh Tahl..." Shaak said, as she hugged the other woman tightly.
"Tell me everything about that day," Shaak requested, as they sat down together. Tahl took a deep breath, as she recalled that sad, painful day.
"I had been on the from the Imperials for weeks. Vader was determined to capture us and bring us back...but I couldn't let him have Ani. As I ran from planet to planet, I realized more and more each day that the only way Ani would be kept safe was to separate us. I knew I had a sister on Tatooine, though we had never met, so I made my way there," Tahl said, beginning her story...
Tahl sprinted through the dusty streets of Mos Espa.
"Stop her!" the Clone Trooper cried. Tahl clutched the bundle in her arms tightly to her chest, as she dodged into a dingy alleyway. She crouched down and used a Force suggestion to trick the Troopers, causing them to run right past the alleyway. She breathed a sigh of relief for a moment and pulled back the blanket, gazing down at her sleeping son. She kissed his head tenderly and cuddled him close, as she began to sob.
"Oh Ani...I'm going to miss you so much," she cried, almost uncontrollably, as she held him to her chest. She got to her feet again and kept moving. She found her way to the outskirts of town, where there was a small cluster of hovels. Sensing his mother's distress, Ani began to cry. Tahl rocked him in her arms, singing softly. Once he was asleep again, Tahl placed him on her sister's doorstep in a small basket. She left Shmi a note, telling her who she was and asking her to love and care for her Ani as her own. With tears cascading down her cheeks, Tahl knocked on the door and then slipped away into the shadows...
"Oh Tahl...I'm so sorry," Shaak said.
"You always supported us. You and Master Dooku were about the only ones," she replied.
"You did nothing wrong. Falling in love and having a child was not a crime, no matter how much the Council considered it to be. I just wish I could have done more," Shaak said.
"You can by telling me where my son is. Vader is looking for him and I must find him first. He cannot learn the truth from Vader," Tahl said. Shaak smiled.
"He is on Hoth, the location of the new Rebel base. We will go together," Shaak said Tahl smiled
"Thank you. Tell me what you know about him," Tahl requested.
"Well, I have yet to see him myself, but I've heard he is tall and very handsome. He has your coloring, or so Master Dooku has told me. He is very powerful too, just like his parents," Shaak said.
"I can't wait to finally be reunited with him. I just hope he does not reject me," Tahl fretted. Shaak put her hand on Tahl's shoulder.
"It will be hard for him when he first learns the truth, but he will crave the motherly love you offer. He will accept you, much better than he will probably accept his father," Shaak said.
"That monstrous machine is not his father. Qui-Gon is dead," Tahl replied.
"Are you sure?" Shaak questioned.
"What do you mean? Of course I am sure. Qui-Gon ceased to exist when he was consumed by Vader," Tahl replied.
"Tahl, I probably shouldn't tell you this, but when Vader first encountered Anakin, he hesitated to strike him down once he heard his name," Shaak mentioned. Tahl's head turned sharply to her, as her eyes widened.
"Ani has encountered Vader face to face?" she exclaimed.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. It happened when he rescued Princess Padme aboard the Death Star," Shaak replied.
"Then...we must go at once. It is time that I be reunited with my son," Tahl stated.
"Yes, it is," Shaak agreed.
"I love you Ani...so much, my sweet baby boy," the blonde woman sobbed, as she placed the sleeping bundle on a doorstep. The woman knocked, even as she sobbed, before running away and disappearing...
Anakin jolted awake in bed, panting, as he slowly recovered from the strange dream. He got out of bed and quickly padded out into the dark, empty corridor, before walking quietly to the common rom. He lit the fire and sat down on the sofa, deep in thought about the dream. The woman had called him Ani. Could it have been his real mother he had dreamt about? He was so lost in thought that he did not even hear Padme enter the room.
"Anakin?" she called. He turned to her. She was a vision of beauty, as always, as her curls spilled around her shoulders in waves of chestnut. She wore a long, shimmer silk night gown, with a blue robe open over it.
"I'm sorry Padme. Did I wake you?" he asked.
"No, I just woke up on my own. I'm not sure why, but I sensed you were troubled," she said, thinking about how funny it sounded.
"It sounds silly, but it looks like I was right," she replied. He gave her a half smile.
"It's not silly at all. We've had a connection since day one. I've felt it...and it's only right that you feel it too," he replied. She smiled and sat down.
"Are you okay?" she asked, placing her hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently.
"I...I don't know. I had a dream," he replied. She shifted beside him and her breath hitched in her throat, as her eyes soaked in the vision of his lean, bare torso. She decided there would be time for thoughts like that later when he was not troubled.
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked. He looked into her concern filled brown eyes and took her hands in his own.
"I had a dream...except I think it really happened," Anakin stated.
"What do you mean?" Padme asked.
"I saw a woman, running through the streets of Mos Espa with a baby in her arms. She was being chased by Storm Troopers and I think she might have been a Jedi, because she performed a mind trick on the Troopers, in order to get away. She was beautiful, with long golden blonde hair and blue eyes, with a kind of gold cast to them. She...she was crying and she called the baby Ani. She placed him...me on a doorstep and knocked, before disappearing," Anakin said.
"Then you think the baby was you?" Padme asked.
"It had to be. The doorstep she put the baby on was Shmi Skywalker's, my adopted mother. I think that woman was my...real mother," he stated.
"Are you going to tell Master Dooku about it?" she asked.
"I want to, but he gets really quiet every time I ask about my real parents. I think he was close to them...and I think something terrible happened to them," Anakin said gravely. Padme reached her hand up and gently stroked her fingers through his thick hair in a soothing manner.
"I know I'm probably not going to like what I hear, but I have to know. I want to know who they were so badly," he said.
"Of course you do, my love. I think you should tell Master Yan in the morning. I can come with you if you want," she replied.
"I don't want to burden you with this," he said.
"Ani...I want to be there for you. I love you so much and I don't ever want you to shut me out. I'm always going to have time for you," she replied. He smiled at her.
"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, you know," he told her. She smiled back.
"Same here," she replied, as she leaned in for a kiss. He met her halfway, tilting his head before pressing his lips to hers. She eagerly opened her mouth, allowing his tongue to slide along her own. Her entire body tingled, as he moved his lips passionately over hers. Padme hummed pleasurably, as he devoured her sweet lips with his own. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her fingers in his hair, as their kisses grew more aggressive.
"I love you," he told her.
"I love you too," she replied, as their lips met again.
Beru had never felt anything like what she was feeling at the moment. Owen had rarely taken an interest in kissing her, but when he did, it was always rough and forceful, eliciting no pleasure for her. But it was very different with Ben. His lips were soft and graced over hers in a gentle, yet passionate rhythm. Her skin tingled from the feel of his stubble against her soft skin. She jumped slightly when she felt his hand slide up her thigh. He broke the kiss.
"I'm sorry, that was too much too fast," he apologized.
"No...it's okay. I've just never done any of this before," she replied.
"We'll take it as slow as you like. I won't push you into anything you're not ready for," he said.
"Thank you," she nodded gratefully.
"Can I ask you something?" she requested.
"You can ask, but I don't know if I'll answer," he replied.
"Fair enough. You said that you lived on Bandomeer for a few months. Where are you really from? I mean, where were you born?" she asked.
"Good question, but I don't know. I was put up for adoption as an infant," he replied.
"Who adopted you?" she asked.
"No one," he replied.
"So, you grew up in an orphanage?" she asked.
"You could say that," he answered.
"I'm sorry. That must have been terrible at times," she replied.
"Save your pity," he responded.
"It's not pity, Ben. I care about you. I just wished that you cared enough about me to let me in here," she said, as she poked him in the center of the chest, indicating his heart.
"I do care about you...very much," he stated.
"But yet, you refuse to talk about your past with me," Beru replied.
"My past is very unpleasant and is of little relevance," Ben said.
"It is relevant. If we are to have a relationship, then we must learn to be honest and trusting of one another. Secrets only destroy relationships," she said.
"Forget about my past, dammit," he snapped, immediately regretting it.
"Fine," Beru replied simply, as she grabbed her cloak.
"Beru...wait," he pleaded.
"Look, I'm just not ready to talk about it ," he tried to explain.
"Well, when you are ready to trust me, then you know where to find me," Beru replied. Ben leaned in to kiss her, but she turned her head, so his lips landed on her cheek. She left after that, leaving a wounded Ben behind.
Anakin fell on his back for the fourth time that morning.
"You are not concentrating, young one," Yan chided, as he tossed a towel to his young apprentice.
"I'm sorry Master. My mind is preoccupied on something else," Anakin apologized.
"Perhaps I can help you, if you're willing to share," Yan replied, as he sat down on a bench. Anakin got up and joined him.
"I was hoping that you could," Anakin replied, as he sat down next to him.
"Then tell me what troubles you," Yan requested.
"I had a dream last night," Anakin began. Yan frowned.
"About the future?" he asked. Anakin shook his head.
"No, I think it was about the past," he replied. Yan's frown deepened.
"What did you see?" he asked.
"I think I saw my real mother," Anakin replied. Yan carefully guarded his reaction.
"What led you to believe that this woman was your mother?" Yan asked.
"She called the baby in her arms, "Ani". And she looked a lot like me. She was running form the Imperials and I even saw her use the Force on them. She was sobbing uncontrollably, because she had to leave me behind," Anakin stated.
"Anakin...it could have just been a dream," Yan replied.
"No...I know it was real. I want to know who my parents were. I want to know what happened to them. Why was my mother alone? Was my father killed before her? Did the Imperials capture and kill her too, after I was left with Shmi?" Anakin said, firing question after question.
"Anakin...I'm afraid the truth is a very complicated thing. I don't believe you are ready to hear everything yet," Yan replied.
"I am ready Master! I have a right to know!" he pleaded.
"She was your mother and she was a Jedi. That is all you can know at this time. The truth will reveal itself when the time is right," Yan stated.
"I need to know, Master. Please tell me," Anakin insisted.
"When you find the truth, you will wish that you didn't know," Yan said.
"Maybe...but I still deserve to know the truth about my birth parents," Anakin replied.
"And you will...when the time is right. Our lessons are finished for the day. You need to go clean up for breakfast, so you may begin your other duties," Yan said, as he quietly left. Anakin lowered his head in defeat. He was no closer to finding out anything about his birth parents. He so desperately craved to know about them. Little did he know, the Force was about to answer his pleas in a way he never imagined possible...
Anakin picked at his breakfast with no interest. Usually, he was starving and ate like a Bantha. Beru and Padme noticed his preoccupation, but left him to his thoughts for the moment. As he kept thinking about the dream he had experienced the night before, a vision assaulted his subconscious.
He saw the woman again, this time in the darkened room; a nursery from what he could tell. She was much happier and cradled an infant in her arms, as she sung a lullaby to him. Anakin felt it calm and relax him in a way he had never experienced. Her voice was beautiful. His relaxation was interrupted when he saw a very tall figure behind her. The man, he assumed, put his arms around her waist and peered down at the baby in her arms. Anakin strained to see his face, but it was cloaked in the darkness of the room. But the woman was happy, he could tell, as she placed the infant down in the crib, before turning into the embrace of the man...
"Anakin...Anakin..." Padme called. Anakin was jolted from the vision by Padme's voice. He looked at her and swallowed the lump in his throat.
"I'm sorry Padme," he apologized.
"Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost," she replied.
"I'll be fine. I better get to the docking bay for duty," he said.
"I'll walk with you," Padme replied, nodding a quick goodbye to Beru, before following him.
"I take it that it did not go very well when you told Master Dooku about your dream," Padme said, as they walked hand in hand down the corridor.
"He told me I wasn't ready for the truth and that when I did find out, I was going to wish that I didn't know. But I have to know, Padme. I have to know who they were and what happened to them, no matter how terrible it will be to hear," he said in exasperation.
"Of course. It's perfectly natural to crave these answers. And I want you to know that I'm here, ready to go through anything with you," she told him. He smiled.
"Thanks. You truly are an angel," he replied.
"Master Dooku didn't tell you anything about them at all?" she asked.
"He told me that the woman in my dreams was my mother and she was a Jedi. But he wouldn't tell me anymore than that," Anakin replied.
"So...your parents were Jedi," she stated. He nodded.
"From what I've been told, yes," he answered. Her brow furrowed.
"What is it?" he asked.
"Well, I didn't mention it last night, because I couldn't remember if I was right or not. After the inception of the Empire, my father hid as many history books as he could to save them from destruction. He wanted to make sure there was a record of the galaxy's true history, instead of just the abridged version that the Empire provides institutions with. Anyway, I looked up the information that I have on Jedi in one of the old books and it says that Jedi were forbidden to marry or enter into any kind of romantic relationship," Padme said. Anakin's eyes widened.
"Love was forbidden?" he asked. She nodded.
"Sounds like a silly rule to me, but that's the way it was back then," she replied.
"It's a horribly unfair rule. And that means...my parents probably had to keep their relationship a secret," Anakin guessed.
"Most likely. But when your mother became pregnant, they probably could no longer hide it," Padme added.
"Did it say what usually happened to them if they broke this rule?" he asked. She nodded.
"Usually, they were expelled if they refused to give up the attachment. But if they were perceived as a threat, sometimes, they were exiled," Padme said.
"That's terrible. Just for falling in love?" he asked. She nodded sadly.
"There's more and you're not going to like it," she said.
"Tell me Padme...I must know," he replied.
"It was Republic law that the Jedi had the right to take children from their parents if their midichlorian count of ten thousand or more, whether the parents wished to give up their child or not," Padme said, looking at him sadly. Anakin let that implication sink in.
"Then...that means they probably tried to take me, perhaps. I...thought my mother was running from the Sith in that dream, but what if she was running from the Jedi?" he wondered.
"Or both," Padme added. Anakin looked utterly lost.
"I thought the Jedi were great warriors, who fought for what's right and true. But they're no better than the Sith," Anakin said bitterly.
"The Jedi have their faults, young one, but we were always far better than the Sith. At least...most of us were," Yan said, as he approached from behind.
"Did they try to take me from my mother? Is that why she was running?" Anakin demanded the answer.
"Not all Jedi believed in that part of the Code, me being one of them. I supported your parents, but unfortunately, many did not. I helped you mother make it as far as she did...to Tatooine," Yan said.
"Then she was running from the Jedi," Anakin replied.
"And the Sith," Yan answered.
"What happened to her?" Anakin demanded.
"I honestly don't know, Anakin. She disappeared without a trace after she left you on that doorstep. No one ever saw or heard from her again," Yan said.
"Then she might still be alive," Anakin replied.
"I wouldn't get your hopes up, Ani. That was twenty years ago," Yan replied.
"And my father?" Anakin asked.
"He was killed by Vader, just like I told you before," Yan replied.
"I don't believe you," Anakin said.
"Believe what you want, young one. The truth will be revealed in time," Yan said cryptically, as he walked past them. Anakin put his arm around Padme's waist.
"I won't give her up," Anakin told him defiantly.
"I would never ask you to. As I said, I never believed in the rule that forbade such a wonderful thing as love," Yan replied, as he continued walking.
"I'm so sorry Ani," Padme said, as they started for the docking bay again.
"Thanks Padme. I don't know what I'd do without you," he replied. She smiled.
"Well, you never have to find out," she stated, as she kissed his lips softly.
"I have to go," he said regrettably, as they reached the busy, bustling docking bay. She nodded.
"Be careful out there on patrol and wear plenty of layers," she said.
"Don't worry. I'll be fine. Besides, I have a guardian angel watching out for me," he said, with a soft smile.
"Flatterer," she teased, as he pulled her close. He kissed her passionately, angling his mouth over hers, their tongues dancing in a sensual rhythm.
"I'll meet you here tonight...and then we can go back to my room for dinner...alone," she said, biting her bottom lip playfully.
"Sounds like the perfect evening. I can't wait," he replied, as he pressed his lips to hers one more time, before they parted for the day...