Chronicles of Smash Mansion returns! As do I, which is why we have an update. I could give you a list of excuses as to why I was late/why I can't upload as often, but that's boring, so instead, I'll just give you Chapter 11. Enjoy!
...
Chapter 11: An Apple A Day...
It was mid-afternoon, and the bright, spring sunshine was causing problems for two of the Smashers.
"Damnit!" Fox swore. "How are we supposed to pull our pranks, if it's the freakin' middle of the day!" He turned to confront his partner in crime. "It's all your fault for sleeping in so late! Everyone else has already been awake for hours, but oh no! Not you! You have to sleep in!" His partner just shrugged at the accusations Fox was throwing at him.
"And?" he said lazily, causing Fox's eye to twitch.
"Asshole." he muttered under his breath, causing Captain Falcon to laugh.
"Aww, c'mon man, loosen up a little! Anyone would think you're worried," he taunted his friend, handily ignoring the fact that he had lost his recent match.
"Yeah, well, you were just versing Ganondorf and Sonic, those two are pushovers," Fox waved a hand dismissively. "Even though you lost," he couldn't resist adding, before continuing with his complaint. "But I have to verse Ike, he-with-the-incredibly-big-ass-sword…"
"You know what they say about men with big swords," Captain Falcon wiggled his eyebrows and pinky finger suggestively. Fox snorted and burst out laughing, unable to help himself. After three minutes, he managed to get under control, so that he could continue talking.
"…and Pearl, the silent, creepy new Pokemon trainer. I mean, have you seen her? She glares at me, and I'm not even doing anything!" he threw up his arms and looked at his friend. Falcon just took a bite of one of the apples he'd taken from the dining hall.
"Well, I happened to see that incident, and you were setting up a massive jelly and waiting for Falco to walk past…" Fox blinked, and then giggled.
"Hah, yeah, that's right. I'd forgotten about that…hee hee, you should have seen Falco's face! Well, you wouldn't have been able to see much, since there was jelly all over it!" Fox cackled, and Captain Falcon smirked.
"Ah, nice work, my friend, nice work," Fox preened, and pretended to bow. "She's not that creepy, though." He said, returning to the previous line of conversation. "She's more just…reserved. I get the feeling that she's more on the sidelines, than in the thick of the action. Her and Red get along really well though…Anyways, we should do something fun. And funny. Like a prank, but cooler than your jelly-to-the-Falco one," Captain Falcon sat up eagerly, apple juice running down his chin, his eyes alight at the thought of mischief.
"What? Cooler than my jelly-to-the-Falco one? Impossible!" he thought for a moment, before realising that there could be, in fact, cooler pranks out there. "I really want to do something now, since right now, it's kind of…boring. Not to mention I really don't want to focus on my match this evening…"
"Well that settles it! Let's come up with a uber-awesome prank and go find a target!" The two jumped up and began to scout the mansion for their helpless victim.
…
Captain Falcon threw an apple in the air and caught it again. The two pranksters had successfully pulled off their plan and were relaxing in the shade of a clump of bushes underneath a tree. "Hah, that was great! The doctor had no idea that it was us who rigged his shower to spray apple juice all over him!"
"I bet he's all sticky now…" Fox snickered, and Captain Falcon began to laugh. Lucario, who was walking past heard and rolled his eyes.
"I wish you two would get your minds out of the gutter," he sighed, and made a mental note to try and avoid them in the future. Not that he didn't already, but apparently passive-aggressive wasn't working for him. Fox just stuck out his tongue, not caring how immature he was being.
"What's with him?" he asked, watching the receding form of the Pokemon.
"Who knows? He probably has a stick up his ass from all that meditating…" Falcon laughed.
"Ah, so that's how he manages to stay upright on one foot all the time!" the two burst out into hysterical laughter, before the sound of footsteps made them stop. "Hey, look who it is," Fox peered out over the bushes to identify the person.
"Well, what do you know?" Falcon raised himself up onto his knees to get a better look. "Looks like the doctor wants another apple juice shower!" Fox snickered quietly at Dr. Mario, who had a face like a thunderstorm.
"What happens if he comes over here? You don't think he knows we did it?" Fox asked, suddenly fearful. Captain Falcon just looked at him, and then a massive smirk appeared on his face.
"Well, you know what they say..." he grinned, and raised his arm behind his head. "An apple a day, keeps the doctor away!" He hurled the apple at Dr. Mario's head.
"Gah!" the doctor said as he was brutally hit in the head with an apple. "What was that for?" he glared behind him, in the general direction of where the apple had come from. Behind the bushes, Captain Falcon and Fox giggled softly.
"That was great!" he whispered, flicking his tail. Falcon gave him a thumbs-up.
"Couldn't have gone better if I'd planned it!" he said.
"...But you did plan it," Fox muttered, rolling his eyes. Falcon wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, that's for sure.
"Yeah well, maybe next time I should use an onion. An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but an onion a day keeps everyone away!" Fox snorted and burst out laughing, causing Dr. Mario to turn and pounce on his tormentors.
"Why, hello there," he said dangerously as he looked at the crouching pranksters. Fox and Captain Falcon gulped.
"Err, he did it!" Falcon yelled, and bolted towards the nearby door.
"WHAT?" Fox screeched after Falcon. "It was you, thank you very much! Don't blame your crap on me; you're the one who thought it'd be clever to throw apples around. And you still have apples in your back pocket!" Fox's words fell on deaf ears as Falcon opened the door an escaped. Fox turned back to face Dr. Mario, who had narrowed his eyes and was holding up a syringe threateningly.
"Come now, Fox, I believe it's time for your needles..." Fox yelped and turned tail to flee, but Dr. Mario reached out and grabbed his tail, causing Fox to whimper pitifully.
"Please don't hurt me...it really wasn't my fault..." he begged, and Dr. Mario smiled.
"I know. But next time, maybe you should convince your friends that apples are not to be used as weapons, hmm? That did hurt quite a bit, I'll have you know," he told Fox, who nodded emphatically, and promised that he would, in future. "Very well, off you go," he let go of Fox's tail, who immediately moved quickly away, before the doctor could change his mind.
...
"Heh, so I pretended to be scared witless and blamed everything on you, and he totally let me go!" Fox bragged to Captain Falcon a few minutes later, after he'd discovered Falcon hiding in his room. He lounged on the bed, and waited expectantly for Falcon's response.
"Nice, man, that Doctor's not the brightest, is he? Especially since your acting skills suck," Fox laughed, and then glared at his friend.
"Excuuuuuse me? I can totally act the pants off you!" He bared his teeth, and then froze. "N-not that I want to see the pants off you, cause that will give me nightmares for the rest of my life," he stuttered, as Captain Falcon sneered at him.
"Sure, sure, I believe you," Fox crossed his arms, annoyed. "Wait, what do you mean me pantsless will give you nightmares? I am totally awesome down there!" Fox turned an interesting cross between purple and red.
"G-gah! REALLY don't want to know! Anything! At all!" Fox covered his ears and looked away. "L-let's just go…do something…okay?" Fox asked, tentatively removing his hands from his ears.
"Well, what do you suggest then? In case you've forgotten, there's a super angry doctor running around the place looking for us, and the people who rigged his shower, which also happens to be us. So you know, we might want to lay low for a while," Falcon threw the core from his last apple into the bin in the corner of his room.
"Maybe we could go play in the games room. I'm still kicking your ass at Pinball EXTREME!" Fox challenged, leaping off the bed to stand by the door.
"Oh, are you just! That's it, you're on now!" Fox raced out of the room, Captain Falcon hot on his heels.
…
Lucario was meditating in the corner of the games room, intent on blocking out the thoughts of all the creatures around him. He kept his sixth sense active, however, reading the auras around him, to prevent sneak attacks from…certain people. Dr. Mario hadn't been Fox and Captain Falcon's only target…His quiet tranquillity was interrupted by the two very people he didn't want to be around.
"Damnit Falcon! Slow down!" Fox screeched as Captain Falcon burst through the door.
"You shouldn't be so slow, then! Gotta live life in the fast lane, man!" Falcon threw over his shoulder as he slid to a stop in front of the pinball machine. He was joined a moment later by a slightly winded Fox. The two troublemakers had dashed from the fourth floor right down to the ground floor, where the games room was situated.
"Looks like I'm first after all!" Captain Falcon snickered, before the loud clangs and beeps from the machine drowned out Fox's opposition. In the corner, Lucario sighed. Looks like his peace and quiet was going to be ruined again.
"Must you play the noisiest game in the entire room?" he asked the two, earning identical eye rolls.
"You're the one who decided to meditate in the games room," Fox said scathingly. Lucario narrowed his eyes.
"The ambience is much better here than in other places. Too many of the rooms in here feel stoic. Your rooms just feel like…" Lucario shuddered and trailed off, unable to continue. Falcon turned away from the pinball machine and put a hand on his hip.
"Like what? You're such a prissy Pokemon! Go toughen up or something! Grow levels! Anyone would think you were just a baby Pokemon!" Lucario hissed and moved closer, swift and deadly.
"Do you think you are better than I? I, who can remain perfectly still, in balance, while you tremble like a leaf in a storm, you who cannot calm your mind and body, cannot exist in perfect synchronization with the auras around you!" Captain Falcon wasn't about to take that. He yelled a wordless battle cry and leapt at the Pokemon, his fists aimed directly at the Pokemon's head. Lucario sidestepped out of the way easily, and Falcon hit the ground face first, which didn't improve his temper at all. He snarled viciously and punched the ground, before leaping up and renewing his attack. Fox grabbed his friend's arm and started talking rapidly into his ear, trying desperately to prevent any damage, both to the room and Captain Falcon himself.
"Hey man, relax, relax! We're still in the games room, remember? If you're gonna fight, put on the Battle Gauntlet and challenge him to a proper fight, okay? We don't want to wreck the surroundings, after the punishment Master Hand promised us…" Falcon froze at his words, and slowly began to calm himself.
"You're right…" he took a deep breath and crossed his arms. "Okay, I'm cool, I'm cool," he ook another deep breath and turned back to Lucario. "Maybe we can settle this like real men…if you're not afraid, of course," Lucario merely nodded, considering it beneath himself to answer Falcon's slur. "Well? What do you say?" The Pokemon turned to face the door and began walking out of the room. As he crossed the threshold, he looked back over his shoulder at Captain Falcon.
"Very well. Shall we meet at the practise courts in ten minutes? That should give you enough time to prepare yourself for your loss," he said, and walked out without waiting for an answer.
"Cocky son-of-a-bitch!" Falcon shot the bird at the door, even though the Pokemon had already left. Fox sighed, his tail swishing from side-to-side.
"C'mon, let's go," he began to leave.
"Wait, where are you going? I thought you'd stay here and play pinball, since you'd have no competition," Falcon gazed quizzically at the other. Fox just raised his eyebrow.
"Dude, I'm your friend. Do you seriously think I'm gonna stay here and play pinball while you're out there, squaring off with the prissy Pokemon?" Falcon looked at him, and then grinned.
"Hah, this match is totally mine!" he gave a thumbs up, and they headed off to the practise courts…
…only to discover that their match was going to be harder to do than they'd thought.
Captain Falcon stopped dead, a metre away from Lucario, who just shook his head. "Oh no," Falcon said, and groaned. Fox walked up a second later, and saw what had stopped the other two.
"You have got to be kidding me," Fox said, as he looked out at the courts, where a match was already being held.
"Seriously, why must they keep doing this? Can't they just settle their differences once and for all?" Falcon grumbled. Lucario sighed, and prepared himself to wait. He knew how long the match was likely to take.
"Huh. So does this mean we have to wait for ages?" Fox asked, leaning against the rails.
"Won't those two freaking give it a rest already? Isn't this like, their hundredth rematch or something?" Falcon complained, crossing his arms and huffing, annoyed. "They basically have a rematch every hour or so! Did they ever stop to think that maybe others would like to us this training court? Hmm?"
"Hah, that's it, you're going down!" Marth yelled, swinging his sword in an uppercut. Sapphire merely snickered as her Mudkip avoided the attack easily.
"Good work, Mudkip! Now use Water Gun!" Mudkip chortled happily and unleashed a jet of water straight into Marth's face. He rocked backwards and spluttered, trying to see through his hair.
"Aaaah! My hair!" the prince complained, running a hand through his soaked locks. Sapphire just giggled, and Mudkip took advantage of his distraction to use Water Gun again…straight at the crotch of his pants. There was dead silence for three seconds, and then everyone watching burst out laughing. Marth turned crimson, and tried desperately to cover the wet area, but just succeeded in making his audience laugh even more.
"Marth wet his pants!" Captain Falcon couldn't resist chucking out the comment. Marth gasped and turned around to face them.
"S-shut up, you lot! I did not, you just saw her demonic Pokemon squirt me!" his cries of protest fell on deaf ears. "Jerks! You're all jerks!" he yelled, and tried to glare at Sapphire, but it came out as more of a pout. She smirked, and gave Mudkip a pat, the Pokemon immediately starting to preen, completely satisfied.
"Nice work, buddy!" she congratulated the Pokemon, who beamed, happy at pleasing his mistress.
"I declare the winner to be Sapphire, since Marth seems unable to continue battling," Luigi, who had been acting as the judge, proclaimed from his position atop the fence post.
"N-no! I can keep fighting, damnit! I'll beat you yet!" he yelled, water running down his face, his last comment directed at his still smirking opponent.
"Nah, you heard him. I win, hah hah! Go get changed already, you look ridiculous," Sapphire gave him a grin to rival the Cheshire Cat, and then walked off the court. Marth almost whined at the unfairness of it all, but Ike was giving him knowing looks, so he decided to try and save any dignity he had left.
"Fine. I'm going to go change," he announced to the small group of people in the courtyard area, and stalked off, nose in the air, ignoring the snickers and muttered comments he could hear behind him.
"About time," Captain Falcon said as Marth left, even though it had only been seven and a half minutes since he'd gotten there. "Now we can have our battle!" he ran out onto the court and pressed the button on his Battle Gauntlet. Lucario joined him, and the bubble spread out, covering the entire court. "No holds barred, yeah?" Falcon raised a fist. "I'm going to beat you into the dust!" Lucario activated his Gauntlet, and moved to the opposite side of the arene.
"Let's end this," he said, and Luigi called GO!
…
Ah, this chapter took me a while to write. I had to go back and edit it multiple times. So after all that, we finally have Chapter 11 finished! And I just couldn't resist returning to Sapphire (who's totally me, hah hah) and Marth's ongoing (friendly) rivalry. Unlike Lucario and Captain Falcon, whose rivalry is in no way friendly at all. Who do you reckon's going to win? Hah, you'll have to wait and see! Now, the ball's in Serenity Searcher's court, so be on the lookout for his latest chapter!
-Aerococonut