(A/N: This is my last writing of the year, peeps. The long awaited finale to my series! Yayyyyyyyyyyy so happy! As usual, I don't own OHSHC, Bisco hatori does, etc etc.)

Haruhi: You're insane.

Irrelevant. Anyway, there are some questions from fans! A question for Tamaki: If you didn't get Haruhi, who would you want her to date?

Tamaki: I'd rather she dies alone than without me. She is my one true love! I could not bear to see her with another man! I'd rather that we both pulled a Romeo and Juliet than live without each other for a single day! Haruhi agrees with me! RIGHT?

Haruhi: Senpai, if you want to die, do it by yourself.

If you had to kiss any Host, who would it be?

Hikaru: Who are you asking?

Everyone.

Tamaki/Kaoru/Hikaru/Mori/Kasanoda: Haruhi!

Haruhi: Er.

Take it as a compliment. Everyone else?

Haruhi: If I answer that truthfully, then many fans will want to die, so I'm going to say… uh… Usa-chan.

Honey: Oh, me too! Usa-chan is my second best friend!

Renge: That is a tough decision, and to make it I have to factor in many things. For example, Kyoya is the best looking, but Honey and Mori are so MOE, and the twins are just…. 3!

Tamaki: What about me?

Renge: No. I would sooner jump off a cliff that even think of kissing YOU, phony prince. The idea itself makes me want to never eat rice AGAIN!

Cool. Anyway, some more questions: Haruhi, do you like video games, and if so, which ones?

Haruhi: I don't really like video games, they take away time from studying. But I like to play chess to relax. It's such a good game, it exercises your mind and makes you think!

Hikaru: She is so…

Kaoru: Boring. How could we both..

Hikaru/Kaoru: Have had a crush on her?

Haruhi: I can hear you, you know.

Hikaru: We know that, That's why we said it-

Kaoru: -Loudly. So you could understand clearer.

Haruhi: I hate you two.

Kyoya: Is it that time of the month, Haruhi? You seem more belligerent than usual lately. Might I suggest some Tylenol?

Haruhi: … You know, Kyoya, you didn't answer the kissing question.

Kyoya: (poker face intact) next question.

Haruhi: But-

Kyoya: NEXT QUESTION.

Eep! Ok, a question for Mori: If you had to marry a Host (not Haruhi or Honey) who would it be?

Mori: Uhm.

(translation: Probably Hikaru, except he's too stupid. Sort of like Tamaki, they're on the same level. (remember when he hosted Hikaru during the Haruki/Kaoru love crisis?))

Kaoru: What did he say?

Don't worry about it. Kaoru, if you could choose, would you rather let Hikaru have Haruhi, or date her yourself?

Haruhi: Hey, don't I get a say in this? I don't want to date either of those gay twins.

Shut up, lady. This wouldn't have happened if you weren't so clumsy. You broke your vase, now sit in the shards, princess! Kaoru?

Kaoru: Eh, I probably would have dated her. Hikaru is too immature, and besides, you can't share everything, as SOME fanfic writers would have you believe. Perverts.

True. That threesome stuff is just… Scary. I've got a question for Renge, although I'm not sure that the world is ready for an answer, but what the heck. Renge, did you write any Honey/Tamaki fanfiction or doujins? And who tops?

Renge: Oh, I'm glad that you asked! In fact, I just finished a screenplay for my next hit yaoi short film for the Host Club! I call it, "Unbidden passion in the room of regrets"! Take a look!

Renge: v/o; The two beautiful blonds of the Host club. Their lonely hearts beat for each other, yearning, waiting for their love to be accepted.

Tamaki: Everyone! Gather around! I have a great announcement for you all.

(beat)

Tamaki: Honey-senpai and I have been secretly dating for years now.

(the Hosts gasp)

Haruhi: I-Is this…

Honey: Yes, it's true. I've always loved Tamaki, from the day he first accepted me.

Tamaki: Senpai, will you marry me?

Honey: Of course!

(The lovers embrace)

Kaoru: Eh?

Renge, v/o: And with this, the new chapter of the lives of these brave lovers is opened… Will they have their fairytale wed-

Kyoya: What fresh hell is this? I can't even fathom the sort of drugs you would need to even begin comprehending the appeal in this trash.

Renge: You don't understand art.

Kyoya: Renge. Art is in museums, and played in orchestras, and on the silver screen. This is vomit. Literal vomit. I thought that you were sort-of smart.

Mori: Yeah.

Honey: I think I threw up in my mouth a little. And Tama-chan is crying in his corner.

Tamaki: (indiscernible sobs/mumbles)

Renge: Everyone's a critic. Amateurs.

Yeesh. Haruhi, who is your favorite Host?

Haruhi: Uhm… When you say 'favorite', what do you mean?

Stop stalling.

Haruhi: KyoyaaaaaAAAAAll of them.

Tamaki: HARUHI! It's okay, you don't have to lie for their sake. I'm your favorite Host, right darling?

Somehow, you made the word darling sound disgusting.

Tamaki: Silence! But still, me, right?

Haruhi: Uh, no. You're not even in the top ten.

Hikaru: There are only six Hosts.

Haruhi: I know what I said, Hikaru.

Tamaki: (flies into the bitch corner yet again, causing even the walls to complain. He grows mushrooms. Many many mushrooms.)

Stop growing fungi in my office, you piece of trash.

Haruhi: See what I have to live with?

A bunch of hot boys. I feel sooo bad. Boo hoo. Anyway, last question; Mori? Honey? Just… what's wrong with you two? Mori, why are you so hung up on Honey? I know you're family and all that but it's a bit much. And Honey, how are you so short? Just, damn. Are you really taking anything from Kyoya, because you shouldn't.

Mori: (sigh) He needs me to take care of him. He's not really the best at taking care of himself.

Honey: Takashi!

Mori: Mitsukuni, did you brush your hair today?

Honey: Nooooooo.

Mori: Point proven.

Makes sense. And Honey?

Honey: No, I don't think that Kyo-chan puts anything in my food, but the mille-feuille has always tasted really minerally. Is it supposed to taste that way?

Kyoya: Of course it is. What a silly question.

No, I don't think it is. Is there something inside the pastry? Did you put something in it?

Kyoya: Nothing major.

Honey; What does that mean?

Er, I think that you guys can discuss this on your own. This interview is finished, thak you all for your time.

Honey: Kyo-chan?

GOODBYE.

The end.

(A/n: Mucho thanks to AnimeBestie, MisakaMikotoElectromaster, and killjarkidranger for asking questions, it helped quite a lot. At any rate, the winner of my comment contest was (to no surprise) my pally AnimeBestie! PM me that pairing, and the fic for you will be written within 2 weeks! Thanks to all the peeps who wasted time reading this mess, virtual kisses and kittens to all! Please continue to read and review my fics, and if you really are a glutton for punishment, read A night I'd rather forget. It has all the Hosts in a cracky setting getting wasted. WHEEE I'm actually finished this project!)