This is probably beginning to sound like a broken record now, but I am SO SO SORRY about my infrequent updates lately

This is probably beginning to sound like a broken record now, but I am SO SO SORRY about my infrequent updates lately. Like I warned before, school and work have completely taken over my life. It's so bad, I don't even get to sit at home and watch the show on Monday nights—I have to tape it (except for the season premiere…I actually did get to see that on tv. Thank you Labor Day! Lol)

Anyway, even though I have had absolutely no time to write, this story and Can't Ever Forget have been still stuck on my mind everyday. I try and think about where I am going to go with both of the stories at the end of the day before I go to sleep. I still haven't had time to get the next chapter on Can't Ever Forget going yet, though I know what I am going to do with it. However, thankfully, for this story, I had the next chapter started before classes started. So even though it isn't the complete chapter, I decided I am just going to post what I have right now and post the second part later because I really don't know when the next time will be that I will have a chance to update. I fear it may not be until winter break in December. But please don't give up. This story isn't finished yet. Stay with me, please. And for now, enjoy this chapter. And be sure to let me know what you think! Thanks so much!

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CHAPTER NINE

She looked out through the passenger window as they approached the house. She continued staring even after he had shifted the car into park in the driveway. She looked down when she felt his hand cover hers.

"Brooke?"

She looked up at him as he took her hand.

"You don't need to be so afraid," Lucas told her. "Haley isn't as angry with you as you believe she is. I told her about Logan, and I was there yesterday when Peyton explained everything about your heart. And Haley wasn't angry. I promise."

Brooke looked back through the window again, staring at the big white house.

"Maybe not angry," she spoke finally, after having rode in the car silently the entire ride. "But I know she's hurt. I would be. I'm supposed to be one of her best friends and I kept her in the dark."

"She'll understand, Brooke." Lucas spoke softly, stroking her hand with his thumb. "When you talk to her and tell her everything you told me. She'll understand."

Brooke only shook her head. Lucas sighed , feeling so much sympathy for her and wishing again that he could take all of her worries away.

"Come on," he said as he tapped her knee gently. "Let's go inside. They're expecting us."

Lucas climbed out of Brooke's car first. Brooke took another moment to stare before climbing out. While Lucas unfastened Logan from his carseat, Brooke stood in the driveway with her arms folded as she waited for her boys.

"You ready?" Lucas asked after closing the door to the silver Ford Focus. He stood next to her and shifted their son higher in his arms.

Brooke glanced at him. She looked back at the house and sighed. "As ready as I'm going to be, I guess."

Lucas pulled her close and kissed her head.

"It'll be fine, pretty girl. Let's go."

Brooke took his hand when he offered it and they walked together up the house. Brooke rang the bell once. It was Nathan who opened the door.

"Hey guys." He offered a short smile when he saw them. "Hey Brooke."

Brooke returned a small smile as she stared at one of her oldest and dearest friends. "Hey, Nate."

She could tell he was nervous by the way he played with his wedding ring.

Nathan focused his attention from the brunette to his older brother and the toddler he held in his arms. He smiled again. The blond haired, blue-eyed boy was most definitely his nephew. Nathan looked back at Brooke again. He noticed her in the boy too, but now he was looking at her, remembering why he felt so awkward to be seeing her. Unsure of what to say, he twisted his wedding ring, somehow thinking that by doing so would provide him the answers he needed to make the current situation less awkward.

"How, um…how are you?" He finally asked her.

Brooke had one hand tangled with Lucas, and the other resting in the pocket of her jeans. She shrugged as she answered. "I'm okay. But, um…I'd be better if I had a hug."

Nathan chuckled a little. He dropped his hands at the same time Brooke freed hers and they came in together for a hug. Smiling, Lucas stepped inside with Logan and closed the door.

"I'm sorry," Nathan said when he and Brooke pulled away. "I wasn't sure what to say."

Brooke nodded. "I know. It's okay. I wasn't sure what to say either. But I'm going to fine. Okay?"

Nathan nodded. "Good. 'Cause we need you around here, Brooke Davis."

Brooke smiled and hugged him again. She stepped back and stood next to Lucas again, who placed an arm around her shoulders.

"Haley will be down in a minute. She had to get Jamie up."

Brooke nodded. She looked up when Logan pointed out something he saw in a picture on the wall.

"Baketball, Mommy!"

All three of the adults looked at the picture on the wall that Logan had pointed too. In it, Nathan had Jamie on his shoulders and Jamie was shooting a basketball into the hoop on the river court.

Brooke smiled and ruffled her son's head.

"So this must be my nephew." Nathan said, smiling at the toddler.

"Yeah," Lucas said. He smiled and stiffened proudly as he introduced his son. "Nate, this is Logan. Logan, this is uncle Nathan. Can you say hi?"

"Hi!" Logan waved with a grin that covered his chubby little face.

Nathan chuckled. "He's adorable, Brooke."

"Thanks."

"Hey," Lucas interjected. "He got most of his adorable looks from me. Can't you tell?"

Brooke laughed and Nathan smiled.

"You wish, Luke. I think he looks more like Brooke."

"So do I."

All three of them looked at the stairs when they heard her voice. Haley looked from Lucas and Logan to Brooke. She had just seen her at the reunion three nights before, but now it felt to Haley like she was seeing her for the first tie in three years.

Brooke stared back at Haley. She wondered what she was thinking. Nervous, she swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat, much like she had done on the river court two nights ago when she'd tried to tell Lucas about Logan. Brooke's mind raced with wonder. What should she say? She asked herself this about how to end the silence that seemed to be screaming at her. How should she begin the conversation that she had come here to have? However, neither of these questions were as important as she expected them to be, as she realized in the moment that followed their conception.

Overwhelmed with emotion: fear, worry, sadness and hurt, Haley completely blocked out her own questions, questions that had been racing through her mind since she'd learned about Brooke's son and her heart condition. She blocked those questions for the moment, and let her emotions control her actions. She raced toward Brooke and threw her arms around her. Brooke accepted her friend's embrace, surprised and grateful all at the same time. They held one another close. There were no words for the next two minutes, not from anyone….

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"You know, Hales, I was certain you'd be a lot less welcoming than you are right now." Brooke watched as Haley returned to the kitchen table with two water bottles. Nathan and Lucas had taken the boys out to the park.

"I was sure you'd be so angry with me that you wouldn't even want to see me."

Haley shook her head from across the table. "Never. I would never be so angry that I wouldn't want to see you."

Brooke offered a smile. "That's really nice to hear, Haley. It comforts me, but…I know that you have to be some kind of angry with me."

Haley looked down. Brooke stared at her, waiting for Haley's thoughts in her response, as she could tell were coming next.

"I'm really not angry, Brooke." Haley leaned forward over the table and spoke calmly, yet emotionally. "You have become one of my very best friends over the years, Brooke. You are my son's godmother. Hell, you're like my sister. Even while you've been away in California and in New York, I have felt like we were so close.

"And we were close. We stayed in touch for quite awhile after graduation, which is a lot more than a lot of high school friends can say. We emailed one another nearly everyday, and we called at least once a month. But not once during any of our conversations over the past three years, did you ever mention you were pregnant or had had a baby. And finding it out now, from someone else…finding out that you have this beautiful, two year old son…it hurt me. It hurts to learn now that after all of these years, you and I really aren't as great of friends as I'd really believed we were."

Brooke was taken aback by Haley's final comment. She'd expected Haley would be hurt. But for her to think that Brooke didn't value their friendship? That broke her heart even more than it already was. She immediately tried reassure Haley about how she felt.

"God, Haley that so is not true!" She sprung forward and leaned over the table like Haley had. "You are still one of my very best friends and you always, always will be, no matter how far apart we are."

Haley nodded. For a few seconds, she didn't say anything, She seemed to be putting her thoughts all together.

"But if we were really that good of friends, Brooke…why didn't you tell me you were pregnant three years ago? Why didn't you tell me you had had a baby? Why wasn't it you who told me? It just…it hurts to think you couldn't trust me enough to tell me."

"It wasn't that I couldn't trust you, Haley. Because I knew that I could trust you. That's partly why I couldn't tell you."

"Why, Brooke?" Haley pressed.

Brooke saw the concern in her friend's eyes. She also saw the need for truth.

"Because…" Brooke began again, looking down briefly. "I didn't want to burden you."

Brooke stood and walked toward the counter.

"Burden me?" Haley questioned, confused. She looked at Brooke. "How would knowing about Logan have burdened me?"

"Because…you already knew that Lucas and I slept together at the wedding. If I told you I was pregnant, you would know Lucas was the father. But I didn't want Lucas to know, not after we had agreed it didn't mean anything. I wasn't ready for Lucas to know. I wanted to wait until I figured out how I really felt and what I really wanted.

"And if you had known, if I had told you I was pregnant, I would have had to ask you to keep it from him, from your best friend. And I just…I couldn't do that to you, Hales. I could never ask you to keep a secret like from him. And I didn't want to ask you to. So I didn't tell you. I planned to tell you after I told Lucas, but Lucas beat me to it. I am so, so sorry for keeping it from you, Haley. I love you so much….you, Nathan, Jamie…everyone, all of you."

Haley stood slowly and pulled Brooke—who was streaming tears—into a long, warm hug.

"I love you too, Brooke," she said. She pulled away. "I understand now…why you didn't feel you could tell me about Logan."

Haley paused. She swallowed and moved on to what was concerning her most now, what really mattered.

"But why didn't you tell me about your heart?"

Brooke looked away again. She shook her head.

"I couldn't tell anyone, Haley. I didn't even tell Peyton. She just happened to be there when I fainted and in the room when the doctor told me what was wrong. The truth is, I couldn't even be truthful with myself. I've been trying to pretend like it's not happening. I've only recently come to realize that I have to deal with it, that I can't afford to hide from it anymore."

Brooke took a breath. Haley stared at her, listening as Brooke spoke sincerely.

"So me not telling you about my heart has absolutely nothing to do with trust, okay? Like I said before, I can trust you with everything. I trust you with my life. I was just—"

"—Afraid," Haley finished, nodding.

Brooke confirmed with a nod of her own head. Haley embraced her and they held one another for a few minutes. Finally, after feeling for months like she was unable to, Brooke felt like she could breathe. Holding one of her dearest friends close to her, Brooke smiled. This would be some of the strength she needed to get better.

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What'd ya think guys? Review and let me know. Stick with me, please. It may be awhile before you'll see another update. So here's a preview to what's coming up.

COMING UP…..

Nathan and Lucas discuss Brooke, Logan and New York while at the park with the boys

Lucas and Brooke go to see Karen

Karen is surprised by Lucas's decision to move to New York, but even more surprised to learn of Brooke's condition