Chapter 11: Sic Semper Douchebaggus
AN:
Question/Comments:
Krulla Chief: We don't all get to pick our builds. Evidently, he managed to pull it off. Maybe. His history of dying is pretty shady. I plan on recreating Six to some extent in the actual game, just to get a better understanding of the torture I put him through.
Edit: it's bad.
He started out with right side dominant (both his hand and his eye), but his left eye is a cybernetic replacement from the Big Empty, which he started modding with a whole bunch of kickass targeting/gunslinging stuff that makes him potentially kickass. Problem is, where other people train themselves to acquire these skills, the Courier cheated by taking the easy way out, so he loses those abilities if the prosthetic breaks.
Marked makes him resist and deal more damage when fighting Marked Men, which probably won't be very helpful here. This perk refers to the chunk of his face that's missing (or it's 'marked') and, in true Courier fashion, he'll probably lose some more.
Tomovnikov: I don't really dislike long chapters, I just think having too many large chapters in a row can be a bit much for the readers/author. I'd also prefer to not spend more than a month for a chapter, so a break from twenty-something thousand word chapters every now and then is good.
SilverstormXD: But I...I didn't think you were...saying I suck, though. Those are your words. Your hurtful, hurtful words.
We've seen some of the contents of the Courier's coat. He has killed Super Mutants and Deathclaws and Cazadors before. There may have even been a time in the past where he was a little bit more like the beast of a man you're talking about. That side of him manages to slip out, occasionally, although by no means is he invincible. But the Mojave was bad enough to begin with, now things are kind of mega-fucked right now in terms of enemies. And Six hasn't been living a particularly healthy life. He's getting shot full of holes, impaled, clawed at, is practically trying to drink himself to death/OD, and probably still has stage infinity cancer on the half of his face that hasn't been flayed. Crazy week, indeed. Six may be from a video game, but this story isn't a video game, it's a story with actual characters who aren't indestructible clouds of devastation. If a person gets impaled, they don't just jab a few needles and get up like nothing happened, they get sent to the hospital and put on life support, if they survive that long. He doesn't do the latter, he takes shady-as-balls glowing drugs from whack job brain-in-a-jar scientists and tries to keep fighting, which is a horrible thing to do if we're considering his long term health. Lord knows he isn't. He's far from his prime.
If he actually went around with every drug/max resistance active 24/7, that'd something to be worried about. He couldn't afford it with his debt to the Republic, and that many drugs (which would almost certainly cause even the mighty Courier to keel over) would make him lose all rationality, and then he'd have no allies. The NCR is willing to launch nukes from the Divide if need be.
The story isn't supposed to be about the Winds of Death sweeping through and annihilating everything in his way without a problem. Six has made tons of bad choices with long lasting consequences that catch up to him sooner or later, and while that's happening, he has to stop the other person in the prophecy and save the world, maybe. He's far from perfect. He struggles to stay alive. He's not a god, or an all powerful demon. He's a single, really screwed up person who got roped into a quest he wants no part of.
The C-Finder isn't exactly the best tool for some of the nastier creatures. It has about a five second delay. Have you seen how far a Deathclaw or a Cazador can travel in five seconds? And you only get one laser every twenty-four hours, so unless you have every enemy in the area neatly gathered into one tiny clump, you're boned there. And, you know, I have a feeling his slave-drivers at NCR don't take kindly to him firing those giant space lasers willy nilly. In fact, I'm certain of it. Besides, he's on a different planet, so Euclid and his giant satellite can go suck it.
I'm not saying any of the Beacon students can easily handle the monsters you listed. I'm not even saying they have a chance; they're students who haven't even started actual training at Beacon, and FEV is a hell of a drug.* Students and the Courier are able to handle weaker wildlife, though, because fuck geckos. Larger animals, like half of the Quarry, are a different story. The students can't handle that. Six can't handle that. The entire Republic doesn't want to take their chances and tries to pretend that part of the map doesn't exist.
* - I will point out, however, that a lot of huntsmen would have an advantage over the Courier when it comes to fighting Wasteland beasts. Cazadors, Deathclaws, radscorpions, etc. can only attack if their prey is close, an with their speed, RWBY's backpedaling game is stronger than Six's. On the other hand, they're fleshy, squishy humans, and bullets are way harder to dodge than big claws. The Courier focuses more on withstanding damage than avoiding it, so he has an advantage over RWBY against humans.
No, The Courier isn't like your courier, or other couriers. He's irresponsible, immoral, lazy, cowardly, and is on his way to falling apart. He doesn't give all his healthy food to the needy, he doesn't help everyone out of the kindness of his heart, and he doesn't go charging head first, guns blazing into enemy bases every day for the fun of it. If he starts thinking like this, it usually ends horribly (like the Legate story) because there isn't a whole lot of room in this shitty world of pessimism and realism for a hero. He isn't an invincible heroic video game protagonist. He's gone out and tried to endure the horrors of a post apocalyptic world and, in some ways, he's as broken as everyone else in it. Not everyone has what it takes to be a hero. But everyone has the power to change, if they so choose. His choices have the potential to save his life, and the rest of the planet with it. Obviously, he wouldn't, because he's an asshole. If his new companions don't change him for the better, he and the rest of Remnant is screwed. That is what this story is about, more or less. There's definitely more to it than that.
...
And who said he is THE courier.
Oh shit. Oh shit I went there. What could it mean? Messing with your heads? Cryptic foreshadowing? Complete bullshit?
PS: Gojira was "created by one of the animators for fun to terrorize Camp McCarran." All of Camp McCarran. 1st Recon, all the heavy troopers, all of McCarran. That lizard is the size of the saloon in Goodsprings. The Mojave couldn't handle it, much less the Courier.
The Digger92: This fast enough for you? I feel like I'm on a roll with the whole 'not spending months on a chapter' thing, now that that's a bit higher on my priority list (along with general humor until everything collapses into madness). And I know it was (probably) a typo, but..."the immortal Courier Sex." Simply amazing. Although 'immoral' probably suits him a bit better.
Smuggler of the West: Well, he does tend to find disturbing reading material every now and then, although I sort of feel like Six would read a Poeoem (Poe poem? I need to stop making words) and just think 'Are these actual sentences, is this how grammar works, what is he saying, Godammit.' Definitely butchered quotations galore.
Can cake cutting really get any worse than LW's birthday? That was just a mess for cakes everywhere. birthday cakes, sweetrolls, you name it.
To be really, really, really 100% honest, I've actually had a couple original ideas for weapons since some of the early chapters. One of which is a shovel, so he can bury all the almost naked bodies he's created while making self-depreciating dead/buried alive puns about himself. Although I don't know what it would turn into (axe and multi-barreled machine gun, maybe? Sort of like a duckfoot pistol. Nice.) Another, my personal favorite, is a pair of crutches that turns into automatic rifles (the best F:NV weapon, nobody can convince me otherwise) because he could really use some crutches.
TehUnoman: ...You know, I don't get that reference. And it's really starting to bug me. I looked it up, and I come back to you a pathetic, defeated man. Please, for all that is holy/unholy/whatever floats your boat, help me understand. Don't make me live in agonizing ignorance any longer.
Like I said, I actually really want to see how badly I fucked him over (edit: I have, SOS, send help), especially since you can't actually make traps in the game like he did. But, yeah, I tend to go through couriers pretty fast, and I always make sure to do something weird before I delete them for good, like activating the Archimedes laser and seeing if I can jump into it from the control tower.
zombie hamlet: You're great.
RightHandOfPalpatine: The Stranger does seem to have that habit of being freaking everywhere, so it's quite possible. Although RWBY could very well think he's just another huntsman, since he's actually normal looking. What a weirdo.
GrumpyGrue: ...I don't really have any problems with the word 'hobo.' was just saying that 'homeless community' stuff as a joke, a small but good-natured jab at people who obsess over being politically correct, if you will, but...holy shit, did I just get hit by a knowledge bomb. Scratch that, you just submitted a thesis on homelessness. I...I don't know what to say. I have just put on my giant, floppy, purple velvet hat for this occasion, and I just one thing to tell you. Hats off to you, Grue.
Except I also have to actually stuff to say on those other things. I really do think your earlier description of Six was more accurate than RWBY thinks it is. And the NCR, as flawed as it is, really seemed to be the best option to the Courier, both for the Mojave and for his own motives (one of which is to stay alive).
'Adam and Six are both bullheaded.' I fucking love you.
I didn't mean that Faunus were more odorous, I was just assuming that any settlements outside the Kingdoms were of lesser quality than sheltered life. If I remember right, one of the World of Remnant videos (the one about the Kingdoms, fittingly enough) said everything outside of the Kingdoms tends to come and go. It may be because I'm occasionally drawn toward more cynical fiction, but I imagine any governments/councils/whatever wouldn't want to bother providing proper amenities like functional plumbing to a settlement that might not last a month. And you'd have to get some pretty tough mofos to ship things like soap to a village in the middle of Grimm-infested wilderness. As for the stench, when Blake was complaining earlier, Six was wearing the Desert Ranger armor, a bunch of clothes he found in a dark, moist cave full of glowing fungus. Clothes that had been sitting there for decades, probably. It was also covered in his weird pseudo-heart blood and carrying the less appetizing/more deadly portion of his Aid supplies. It would take a hell of a lot of scrubbing to fix that armor, and some kind of powerful disinfectant that can no longer be found in Post Apoctalyptia. The higher-than-normal consumption of Mentats last chapter managed to cover his breath a bit.
thepkrmgc: Tragic in the sense that he's flawed, but I wouldn't necessarily call him heroic, if we're using his flashback for a reference (although to be fair, it's been a while since I've read any tragic hero stuff, so it's quite possible my definition is off). If he had a better motive at the beginning (maybe if he thought Benny was a threat to the human race and wanted to stop him no matter the cost) and was corrupted along the way, that sounds like a tragic hero to me. From what we've seen, Six wasn't all that bothered by possibly losing whatever life and loved ones he may have had. He just wanted to kill the hell out of Benny. So while he may have been a more level-headed and less psychopathic overall, we can't say for sure yet.
Guests:
Guest (Doctor): The Wasteland's got some pretty poor medicine, but the remnants (ah? Aaaah?) of the Old World aren't anything to sneeze at, especially his Big Empty drugs and robot parts. The only problem is that, if a doctor really did cure him of his addictions, how long would it until he hits the bottle again? He's got that nasty habit of repeating his mistakes.
And, while Remnant undoubtedly has some impressive advancements in medicine and technology, you're underestimating one thing: a Wastelander's ability to completely fuck himself up in as many ways as possible. And this isn't just any Wastelander.
Guest (Sam): Holy shit, you're right. How did I manage to forget the Bozar and the Ripper? Those things were classics! The lancer's a classic! Whatever I'm doing, I'm doing it wrong here.
Guest (Sam again): A robot eye that doesn't glow red? Unthinkable!
Extra Note: Gold composed by Jeff Williams.
The sunrise peaked over the Emerald Forest, its warm red hue blending with the purple-blue of the early morning sky. It was probably real this time. Six silently rejoiced. He managed to go the entire night without killing a single person in their sleep. There were a few bumps along the way, obviously, and anyone who looked at the ground outside the window was probably going to question the massive quantity of broken vodka bottles. Sacrifices had to be made. But that didn't matter right now, he made it.
He heard a tired groan behind him and turned to find Yang already climbing out of bed. 'Urge to maim...rising again...' Blake also sat up, and the anger peaked for a moment before dying down. 'No, man, remember the old courier. He kept a cool head. And was apparently more popular with the ladies. Try to be like that.' Even if he was a brittle little wimp.
'Damn right I did, damn right I was, damn right you should.'
'No, that's a horrible idea,' the Courier decided. 'That ain't me.' And old courier's 'forgive and forget' policy wasn't as kind as the Courier remembered.
"What're you doing out of bed?" she demanded, although it wasn't as threatening as it could have been, since he could tell she was trying to hold her yawn back.
"Nothing, actually."
"You know what I mean. You're bed's intact, how'd you get out?"
The Courier saw Blake flinch slightly out of the corner of his eye. Luckily, he wasn't a cruel bastard that was trying to spread distrust between new friends. At the moment. "True, putting the lock somewhere I couldn't possibly reach did make it a bit difficult to pick. Until I dislocated my shoulder to reach around the mattress. Moral of the story, 'impossible' doesn't mean shit to me, so don't bother." The sleepy huntresses let that image settle, and both grimaced. "I think I should get credit for not getting into trouble."
"Right, sure. Reward you for doing nothing," Yang groaned. She knew it was too much to hope he would have left in the middle of the night, but she could dream.
"Oh man," Ruby exhaled, sitting up and rubbing her eyes. "Yang, I just had the worst dream, this big guy fell in and—" Her jaw slowly lowered as the Wastelander crossed his arms, waiting for her to continue her 'dream.' "...Big guy who wasn't Six came, and...didn't join our team...and he wasn't like Six at all. Because I didn't think Six coming was bad or scary in any way."
"Smooth." The Courier mentally braced himself for the inevitable assault on his ears. But it never came. Weiss was still asleep, looking more at peace than he'd ever seen her. "Hey, while she's out, can I ask a question? What the hell did I do to her?"
"She was like that before you got here," Yang answered. "Guess she's just focusing all her anger on you."
"Figures."
"She wasn't always so mean," Ruby sighed, as if remembering a time long passed. To be fair, the past few days with the Courier felt a lot longer than they should have. "She apologized one time, after you ran off into the city." Six crossed his arms, silently calling BS. "Well...it wasn't really an apology. But she said I wasn't all that bad compared to you."
He looked back to the sleeping heiress, rubbing his chin as he thought. "I've seen this before, actually. A few times. The Divide. Easily one of the worst places I've ever seen. Two armies, Bear and Bull, fought there. And when everything went to hell, they came banded together to survive. It was almost heartwarming, seeing them work together. Except the treaty was so they could kill me, but still." He spun around, almost hitting Weiss with the ends of his flourishing coat, and pointed at Ruby. "You two are the same! Faced with an unknown, dangerous enemy, you put your differences aside. But now that you've fallen for my charm and tragic past—"
"I did what now."
"—she hates you, too. You want me to stay, and she wants me gone for some reason. Just like the Republic soldiers who desert and try to kill me when I'm minding my own business!"
"Alright, hang on, I don't think she hates you that bad," Ruby said quickly, hopefully stopping him from getting any ideas.
"...Not yet," he muttered, looking back at Weiss. "Do you know what she's thinking all the time?"
"No. do you?"
"I know what a lot of people are thinking."
Right, she thought, this was the man who thought Jaune was a spy from another planet. The two locked eyes for a few long, tense seconds before Ruby turned to the other two. "...So...how about that unpacking?" She could actually look forward to getting the room cleaned up, if it meant not making direct eye contact with him.
"Wanna change first," Yang grumbled, still waking up. "Six, out, now."
"Yeah, yeah, on it."
He closed the door behind him before checking his surroundings. All clear. He cracked the other team's door open. All asleep. The weapons he couldn't sneak out were all gathered in a pile in the corner, which he collected as swiftly and silently as possible. 'My poor, shitty babies, I'll never let you go.'
"So we all remember the plan, right?" the blonde whispered in the other room as they changed into their uniforms.
"I'm sorry, did you say 'we?'" Blake quietly hissed. "Last I heard, you two didn't have to do a thing."
"Come on, we all wanna see his face!" Ruby pleaded. "You're all sneaky and stuff, and if he's going to let anyone look, it's you."
"I'm not looking at him naked."
"You'll be fine, just...don't look down," her partner tried to comfort.
"I'm sure Ruby could do it," the Faunus retorted. "She thinks he's a skeleton, so she doesn't have to worry about seeing anything!"
"I said half of his face was a skeleton, I'm not stupid."
"He's already got a crush on one minor, it's not happening to my sister, too. Sorry, Blake. You will be missed."
"What are you talking about, I'm not going anyw—"
"Hey," the Courier whispered through the wall. "I kinda...tripped over something, I think the other team's gonna wake up soon. And I don't want to be out here when she wakes up." Even Weiss and Yang were better than...that.
"Yeah, yeah, hold your horses," Yang yelled, pulling her jacket on. "Alright, you're goo—"
The door burst open, and he quickly slammed it shut once he was inside. "Oh, praise the Lord!" he cried with genuine joy. "There's just something about that girl I...don't..." Six looked down at the freshly dressed huntresses, mainly Blake, who had her...back to him. He was just...admiring her...legs. Nothing else. He wasn't using VATS to get a closer look of her butt. "...I take it back. Skirts are alright."
Nobody noticed, however, as they were busy silently contemplating their strategy. "Shower?" Yang mouthed.
Her partner shook her head sternly. "Bags."
It was hard to call Ruby a bad leader, even if some people would disagree. She knew that they had an objective to complete, and sometimes, sacrifices had to be made. But if Blake had to mentally prepare herself for...whatever the Courier had in his clothes, she was willing to compromise. "Alright, Six, we're gonna unpack, so...you..." Now that she was a bit more awake, and not dying of radiation poisoning or dealing with mild trauma, she realized something. "...Your clothes...I...how."
"My question is why," Yang said, frowning at him. "Isn't the point to freak people out? The helmet works, but...the coat? The spurred cowboy boots? When I think evil embodied, washed jeans isn't exactly the first thing in my mind."
"Fine, if you're such an expert, what do you suggest?" he asked.
"I don't know, something scarier than rodeo pants! Pants made from the skin of your enemies, that sounds terrifying."
"...So sorry that human flesh isn't part of the Republic's uniform." What kind of movies did these people watch, he wondered.
"Suits are scary," Ruby chimed in. "All the good bad guys wear suits."
"So sorry if a suit isn't appropriate for the desert."
"Not suitable," Yang snickered under her breath before getting a small slap from her sister.
"Look, you know what I started out with? Leather. All leather. So I'll wear whatever I damn well please." Their faces, including Six's, slowly turned to that of sheer horror at the thought of wearing such an outfit in a desert. All four lowered their heads out of respect for the courier of the past.
"...Well...I guess I should wake Wei—"
"Did that already, dolt." The dolt gave her partner a pitiful pout, but the heiress was having none of it this time.
The five eventually went to work sorting the room out. Hanging posters and portraits and curtains and whatever else had to be hung up, aside from the Courier, who told them it was 'bad enough the first few times.' They assumed it was a joke. Meanwhile, he was sort of just sitting, sorting through his crap for the dozenth time. Interior decorating of the civil wasn't one of his more refined skills, as his only experience in that department was buying boxes and having Victor put them wherever. And his posters weren't allowed anywhere in the room, on account of some being the stuff of nightmares. So he started loading unnecessary stuff into his duffle, which ended up making a bit of a mess in his corner, due to the amount of crap he ended up grabbing. He reached down to pick up one of the handful of books on the ground, but the cover wasn't one he had seen before. "...'Ninjas of Love.'"
At the same time, a voice behind him said "'Cat's Paw?'"
They both turned, each putting a hand on their respective sword. "Put it down," they both demanded quietly.
"What is it?" Blake asked.
"Don't know," he answered. "What's this?"
"Mine. Give it to me."
They cautiously handed the reading material back to each other before turning away. 'That was a close one,' they thought.
'Nobody can know,' Blake told herself, tucking the book as far back into the shelf as possible. Yang and the Courier would have a field day if they found out.
'Someday.' Six told himself, tucking the magazine away. He once heard the Chosen One learned what this magazine was, but never passed the knowledge on. He could do it, too. He wouldn't be beaten. He refused to be beaten. But until then, he'd have to stop anyone else from finding his shit. Lord knows they weren't ready to handle seeing some of the other things in his possession. And he still had to finish sorting through his weapons to make sure they were loaded and functional.
Ruby was the first to notice the Courier's prolonged silence. He hadn't said a word since his short, hushed back-and-forth with Blake. That was the first thing that worried her. Number two was the amount of clicking coming from his corner, almost as if he had been constantly loading guns for five straight minutes. he checked. He had been. He wasn't about to wig out again, right? Six emptied another pistol, looked down the barrel, reloaded it, and tossed it on the pile. "You know, there's probably a better, less insane way to do that."
"It's how I learned," he said gruffly, pointing a pistol straight at his left eye. It didn't have all the old functions back on, but he managed to reconnect the optic nerve into the mess of electronics in his skull, so he could at least use his eye as an eye.
"I just thought you'd want to keep your eye, is all."
"Bit late for that."
The others began to tune in to the conversation. "...President?" the girl wondered.
"Yes."
"...Lost your eye?"
"Yes."
Weiss' words from last night came to mind. "Did you get a robot one?"
Six froze mid-reload, set the weapon down and stared. She could tell he wasn't happy. "Don't be stupid."
"...So is that a yes, or—"
"Go away." Ruby grimaced, realizing that losing something like an eye could be a bit of a sore topic. It was no wonder he got so quiet, really. Curse her insensitive curiosity. 'Maybe if he'd just show us something, I wouldn't have to ask,' she thought. He continued to stare until she backed away from his corner.
'Holy shit holy shit holy shit that was too close how the fuck is she magic?'
"If you don't have anything better to do, you can always get that shower," Yang said, snapping him out of his thoughts.
He took a second to compose himself again, just to be sure what was in his head didn't end up coming out of his mouth. "Can I? Are you giving me permission to take a shower? Are you sure you don't want to cut my non-flesh-pants-wearing legs off and make it that much harder?"
"Just get already, will you? And clean your clothes, you got...stuff on them."
He sighed loudly and rose to leave. "Fine. Didn't like this helmet anyway. The huntresses finally noticed his helmet had looked a bit different from before. It was slightly more decorated, and the lenses were connected. This man obviously had an obsession with his armor if he was carrying so many sets around.
Yang turned back to finish nailing her Achieve Men poster to the wall, only to find half of the nails torn from the wall. A crunching, grinding sound came from behind. "...Six."
"Hmm."
"Where's my nails?"
He swallowed. "Gone. Pretty good. Barely rusted. Four and a half stars."
"Just get out of here!" She pushed him out with her foot and slammed the door in his face, holding it in place until she heard him start to trudge down the hall. The blonde looked to her partner. "...Well? Go, go, go!" she whispered, shooing her partner away. The latter didn't move. "Come on, he's about to switch helmets!" Blake continued to glare at her. "You're wasting time! Run!"
"You have eyes. Why don't you go peak on the naked man?"
"Because we all know what's going to happen," Ruby said. "He thinks Yang wants to see him naked, she hits him in the face without his helmet, and then there's nothing to see but swelling and cracked bones. We're trying to see his face intact."
Blake growled, but soon followed after the Courier. Who was going the wrong way this time. At least, if his trail of discarded clothes were any indication. She silently, swiftly crept, peaking around each corner before proceeding. His metal vest was right outside the door, and after it, his shirt gloves. Then the boots came off. What the hell was he doing? Will he realize he's been going the wrong way before he completely strips? His helmet rolled from around the corner, and his black bandanna and goggles were thrown against the wall. She quickly flattened herself against the wall, trying not to get ahead of herself as she inched closer to the corner. Even she was getting tired of his 'faceless' crap at this point, and wanted to see just as much as everyone else.
A vibration shook her leg, and she thought for a moment that Six would come guns blazing at the almost silent sound. She forgot to give Yang's phone back, and was now getting bombarded with messages from its owner.
RR: blake
RR: its yang
RR: this is blake rite?
RR: get pics ;)
Blake readied the phone's camera, and leaned around. The short glimpse she caught of him made her groan. His entire upper body was wrapped in bandages now, all the way up to his head. The stench of cigarette smoke made her duck back to the safety of her half of the ninety degree turn. The idiot was actually smoking through his bandages. The huntress took a deep breath and chased after him. There was a door. A locked door.
And the idiot had a cigarette poking through the wraps. He turned the corner, and she immediately chased after him to find a door. A locked door. She shined a light under the door, but didn't see any feet under the crack. The smokey smell was faint, so she released her breath. Sighing, she turned, noticing a tiny scrap of paper fluttering down. It hit the ground, displaying another sketch of the Courier with two middle fingers.
It only read Nah. Blake's eye twitched.
"Attention all students."
"Hmm?" Six reached to turn the water down a bit so he could hear Ozpin's announcement. It took a few tries for him to actually grab the shower valve, and he hoped that Stealth Boy would wear off soon. It took him a while to reach the locker room, so it couldn't last too much longer.
"Public access to the residential district has been restricted. Trips between Beacon and the city are still permitted, but you may not approach this area. That is all."
The Courier attempted an inconspicuous whistle as he grabbed his newly-washed bandages. 'Probably just those asshole police again.'
"—mummy juggernaut, if he got lost out there, I—" Blake heard the running water on the other side of the lockers and shut her mouth. If that was the Courier in there, this was her chance. His off-tune whistling confirmed it was, in fact, the mummy juggernaut himself. Now all she needed was the excuse... If only she had gotten his clothes before he did. Giving him his armor was the only reasonable explanation she could imagine right now. 'I don't actually have to show him how to bathe, do I?' she groaned inwardly. No, there had to be a better way. She spent the next few minutes contemplating her next move, not noticing the whistling had stopped.
"Someone there?" he called out after a long silence.
Crap. Red alert. Abort. Before he found out who followed him. Before he got ideas...
But the face. This had to be settled. If the sacrifice had to be made, she would endure. She'd put up with his stupid flirting if it meant she could figure out what in the hell he looked like. After coming this far, she couldn't back out now. Her team was counting on her. They were probably cheering her on right now, or at least, Ruby and Yang were, and she wouldn't let them down.
"Hey, whaddya think's taking so long?" Ruby mumbled, scrolling through her phone. It was easy enough covering the walls in crap, but with five people in one room, they hit a small roadblock trying to unpack everything. Which really meant went on break before trying.
"Do we really want to know?" Yang joked. The younger sister gasped. "What? I know Blake's not into him, it was a joke—" She was hit in the head with Ruby's phone. "What the...wait. Really? Did she really?" The blonde grinned, keeping the phone face down on her stomach. The suspense had to build. "You didn't look before I did, right?"
Ruby darted behind her sister and pounded on her shoulders. "Come on, open it open it open it!" Even Weiss was interested enough to take a break from her moody brooding for a moment.
"Alright, let's see what he's..." Yang trailed off when she read the text.
shapsHFTRE WAT HTEEEE
'That can't be a good sign,' she thought with a frown. Her partner didn't seem the type to have shit spelling. Was that supposed to be 'shapeshifter?'
The picture that preceded the text was blurry, although she could see enough. Stupid jeans, bandages on his chest, stupid helmet...a crab claw.
"I think we all lost," Ruby finally said. Except Nora and Ren, maybe.
Six managed to wrap his bandages around most of his invisible body, whistling all the while. Just as he was about to start on his right leg, the Stealth Boy wore off. 'Oooooh shit,' he thought. 'Ooooooh shit. Don't look at it, don't look at—' It was too late. He saw the leg. The leg that was a different color than the rest of him. While most of his flesh was darkened by the sun and slightly grayed by (near?) death and Science!, this leg was a more healthy tone, with only a tint of gray from its time with him. 'Okay, you saw it, just don't think too hard—'
Shit. He screwed that up, too. Traumatic flashback incoming.
2:36 P.M. May 5th, 2282. Legate's Camp
The Second Battle had finally come knocking at his door. This was the second Legate's chance to prove he truly was superior to his predecessor. His chance to send the Bear's army fleeing, his chance to finally enjoy the feeling of battle. After being stuck in this camp for so long, waiting, it was time. He wasn't one to be giddy over anything, but he was close.
And from what he heard, it was complete chaos outside as his California counterpart strode into battle. All he had heard from the Praetorians was that they were losing, and it was messy. Lanius couldn't be more pleased. He and one of his guards descended the steps outside his war tent while the second stood at the top, keeping an eye out for the courier. A wet slice was heard, and the two looked up to find the mercenary behind the sentry; the latter had a slice across his neck, and the former held a thin, bloody sword. He silently leapt from the cliff, flipping without reason and landing on the remaining Praetorian. The Legate didn't move a muscle, instead choosing to survey the camp. Every other soldier stationed had been killed.
"Hey. Down here." Lanius turned back to Six. He may not have been quite as tall as the Legate, but he sure wasn't the practically-starved pygmy that managed to kill half of Vuples' soldiers in Nipton. No, he was much larger now, more worthy of his status. "Just killed your guys, you know."
"And yet, you reveal yourself, after silently executing every man and mongrel in this camp," Lanius rumbled.
The courier smirked, turning his back on the Legionary and crossing his arms. "That I did, good eye." He spun on his heel, kicking up dust and dirt as he pointed with passion to his enemy. His other hand went to his cocked hip, which is where the Legate began to draw the line, as he finally noticed Six had changed into a sleeveless coat, and made sure to flex his shining muscles. He heard this courier was a madman, but this...was something else. His normally dull helmet had been polished, now shining and sparkling in the sunlight, as if highlighting this glorious display of mildly homoerotic machismo fit for ancient Rome. "Lanius! Monster of the East! This fight, this battle of the Dam will be settled here and now! Mano a mano, with fists and blade, the weapons of true warriors!"
"An honorable duel to the death. Just as I had hoped." For a moment, he thought the courier would fight him with tricks, as he was known for doing some months back. The Legate's massive sword swung around his body as he drew it from his back. The Courier hopped over the blade, making sure to somersault for good measure before landing and posing behind Lanius.
Big Empty Drug wore off.
Unfortunately, he was now stuck in this pose, which ended up looking pretty goofy the longer he held it. 'Ooooooh shit.' Another swing took the blade clean off of his katana. 'Ooooooh shit.'
3:03 P.M. May 5th, 2282. Legate's Camp
The Legion's policy against drugs was bullshit. It had to be. How else could the two Legates be explained?
As it turned out, Lanius wasn't nearly as slow as he should have been. A man his size shouldn't have been able to outrun Six on some of his most potent substances, and yet, the mercenary was only alive right now because of the sun's rays. And because the Legate was probably screwing with him. Throughout the fight, he only managed to land one hit on the behemoth. The 'hit' was shoving his severed blade through Lanius' gut, which didn't slow him down a bit. At least the courier had a reason for surviving gut stabs, this guy was just a monster. The smaller warrior was barely holding together. His limbs were hanging by tendons, totally useless. His torso was covered in gashes, his armor cracked, and his health bar almost empty. Of all the times to not go on a bloodthirsty rampage, it had to be now. He lay in a crumpled heap, waiting to be finished.
The courier was too exhausted to make a noise as the Blade of the East lopped one of his legs off. The Legate jammed his foot into the fallen man's gut, and kicked again, and again, before picking him up by the collar and throwing him across the length of the camp. Six slammed into the cliff face he had foolishly leapt from earlier and slumped in the shade. The bandages on his arm had long since come loose, exposing his burnt, scarred, hole-filled arm, although it was barely recognizable as a limb. Of course, that could just be the blurred vision from his concussion. His limp arm hit the dirt beside him, appearing to steam as soon as it was in the light. Exposed flesh probably healed better, he thought. As strength returned to to his arm, his fighting spirit also returned. He reached into his coat. If he couldn't kill the Legionary with the first shot, he was done for.
"...Lanius of the East?" Six chuckled, slowly dragging a heavy device out. "More like..." By the time the Legate noticed, the courier had already pulled the trigger.
"If you live like a coward, you'll die like a dog!" the Legionary roared as he charged.
Six shut his eyes and leaned against the wall with a calm, cocky smile. A fiery roar sounded above the camp, a blinding light. The massive beam tore through the sky, landing a short distance behind Lanius and engulfing the camp in light. "...So long...Lanius the Deceased," he wheezed triumphantly before succumbing to a bloody coughing fit.
It finally dawned on him. He really hadn't changed a bit, ever since he stepped out of Mitchell's clinic. Every time he began to feel confident in himself, every time he got cocky, reality made sure to knock him back down. And it hurt more and more every time. Since the bark scorpion outside of Goodsprings, to the Legion chasing him out of Nipton. Then the Sierra Madre, and Zion. Losing a piece of his body in the Divide to Rawr. Every time he thought he was on top, there was something else waiting to tear him apart. And now, here he was, bleeding to death and missing a leg. Even if was outside the blast zone, he was in no condition to crawl all over the scorched camp to look for it.
This battle was over. His job was done. He was expendable now. The Republic was probably going to kill him after Lanius was out of the way, anyway. They could just let him keel over here, get rid of two burdens with one stone. His time was up. Part of him felt like he needed to save his hide. It was all he really wanted, to keep himself safe. Another part of the courier wasn't upset in the slightest that his wretched existence was about to end. He left his mark.
And then, a gift from God. Or the Devil, depending on how one looks at it.* From the fiery Hell he dropped onto the earth, the Blade of the East flew, embedding itself into the cliff next to his head. The Legate's slightly charred helmet rolled to his feet. And finally, a lone leg landed next to him with a splat. Whomever it was, holy or wicked, it wanted wanted Six to live. Again, it could have been either, depending on what one thought of the courier.
'This is the part where it really hurts,' he thought with a grimace, taking out more Big Empty medicine from his coat.
The Courier blinked as the memory lost focus. He remembered blacking out after that, and not the 'I'm about to wipe out a Cazador nest with my teeth' type of blackout. When he looked back down, the Legate's leg was on the ground. 'Oooooh shit.' Now that he thought about it, his body probably didn't like having other peoples' bodies mixing with it. In fact, it probably didn't like a lot of the things he did. Then he started thinking. His horrible memory. His inability to keep himself sane. His replacement limb coming off. Things were getting weird with him these past few days. That was when he knew. 'Something's up.'
'...Wow. I—is that all?' The Courier looked at the mirror in his stall, and saw his reflection sarcastically clapping. 'Amazing deduction.'
'Whatever, let's see you do better,' he mentally replied to himself, tucking the limb away into the coat he had hung up. He couldn't use another vial of drugs to reattach it. Those had to be saved for emergencies.
'Well maybe it's that stupid blue shit you keep drinking. We both know that stuff isn't good for y—'
'LA LA LA LA LA.' The Courier stuck his fingers on the sides of his helmet as if it would help block out the noise. The reflection only slapped his face in agitation. The Courier subconsciously tensed and ceased his mental 'la'ing. "Someone there?" After a long pause, he heard footsteps. Was somebody actually following him down the hall after all? Was his paranoia justified?
"It's me," Blake announced. After all that thinking, she came up with nothing, and decided to wing it. '...Wing it? That was a horrible thing to think, what have they done to me?' She proceeded around the lockers, only to find one stall had three large coats hung around it, preventing her from seeing inside.
'Oooooh shiiiit.' A cute girl alone with him in the locker room and he didn't even have all his limbs on. This was a train wreck waiting to happen. The Courier started fumbling through the coat, but the leg was already lost in the depths of his inventory space. 'Whatever, just...just take something and stick it on!' He grabbed the first limb-sized thing he could and forced it onto where Lanius' leg used to be, and winced at the feeling of the carapace as it sunk into his skin. It was better than nothing. Probably. "Uh...heeeey." Smooth. How could ever she be suspicious with a tone like that? "Watcha doing here?"
'You suck,' his reflection groaned.
"I..." Still nothing. Excuses, she needed excuses, damn it! "I...wanted to say thanks?" Smooth. "For...not telling Yang about me letting you loose."
"Snitches get stitches, and I got enough of those from you...I think."
"You 'think?'"
"Well, between us, I've been thinking about me dying a lot, for some reason. So I guess it's possible I might have imagined you stabbing m—"
"You did," she answered quickly.
"...Are you su—"
"Yes."
"Well, I guess your memory's probably better than mine."
''Probably,' he says,' Six's reflection snickered. The Courier responded by putting on the hardest, sharpest limb he could find on short notice, a large claw he managed to find on the ship, and backhanding the mirror with it. 'Maybe if you kept a cool head and didn't overreact to everything, you wouldn't be constantly pissing off every major faction on the planet. Or breaking so many mirrors.'
"What are you doing in there?" Blake asked. "Did you just punch a mirror?"
"Doing? Who said I'm doing anything? I'm not." The Courier turned the water off, tightened the bandages around his crab-like leg, and pulled his jeans on. "I was just finishing, actually, hang on." After ripping the shower cap off of his helmet, he limped out of the stall. "See? Nothing weird."
Blake snapped a picture as soon as she saw the trenchcoat over the door move. The...thing that came out made her thumbs tremble as she typed. 'No, it's...it's just...armor,' she told herself. He enjoyed mentally tormenting others, after all, and the sickly greenish-red shell certainly did the job.
Clack clack.
The pincers on his left arm began clacking. Now, she decided, was a great time to abort before that raven/crab/whatever the hell figured out what she was doing. "That was all bye."
"I—" The door slammed shut as Six reached out, and saw he forgot to take the claw off. Clack clack clack clack clack. Whatever it was, the nerves were going apeshit. Reacting with radioactive substances in his coat, maybe? "Well, shit. This probably looks bad."
'Yeah, no shi—' Another bitch slap, this time to his own face.
"Shit," he repeated.
Blake thought the same thing as she stopped to catch her breath. She didn't even get the picture.
"Hey," Six called, limping down the hall. He just wouldn't let her go. "Uh...so—" He held up the clacking claw to shield himself from the chop aimed at his face. "Stop stop stop, it's not even mine!"
He removed his arm from the larger, armored arm, which continued to click. She paused mid-attack as she noticed it was still twitching, even though it was no longer attached to him. "Sorry. It looked—"
"Fucking disturbing, I need to burn it or something," he finished. Whatever it was that used to own that arm, he was glad he never came across it. His history with pincers was a bad one. "Just had to make sure there weren't any misunderstandings. Don't need anyone thinking I'm...a..."
The words died in his mouth when he turned and found the sisters charging for him, holding each others' hands. "Crab alien!" they roared, clotheslining him. Weiss threw herself onto the fallen man, then Ruby, and finally Yang.
"We don't need no damn crabs infecting our women!" the blonde screamed.
So maybe he wasn't perfect, Blake thought. By society's standards, he wasn't even a good person. But as far as punishments went...this was just uncalled for.
"For the last time," Six growled, his voice muffled as his head rested on the cafeteria table. "I'm not a 'giant STD crab.'"
Yang glared at his left arm. It looked normal now. "So you're saying you didn't cut it off and grow your arm back?"
"Are you sure nobody's on drugs? Because I've heard some messed up people, myself included, and that was on No-Bark's level."
"I thought you said it was medicine," Pyrrha spoke.
"I lied."
"You had a hole through your guts and they came back, are you saying that's not weird?" Ruby questioned.
'First of all, wrong,**' he thought. "I don't just grow stuff back, that's ridiculous. If something like an arm comes off, I'd probably just get a stump. I still had a little bit of everything, so they grew back just f—mostly fine."
"Which, as we all remember, isn't normal," Yang added. She raised a piece of bacon to her mouth, and frowned at the piece of meat. Nope. She still wasn't ready yet. "Stupid month old cow."
"'Month old cow?'" the Courier repeated. He only remembered one cow. "The one in the forest? That thing was alive when I got there, it was dead for, like, an hour."
"You mean...they always look like that?" Ruby shuddered.
"You should see them when they walk," he responded, just as disturbed.
"Please...no more talking," the huntress begged. The thought of one of those things being alive, moving...ugh. He was already making their breakfast difficult enough.
"Speaking of cows, what are you doing?" Six yelled in disgust. "Are you drinking milk?"
"...What else would I do with it?" she asked cautiously.
"Nothing! It's radioactive filth that Brahmin feed their babies, not...oh yeah, no bombs." His eyes narrowed as Ruby sipped from the carton in her hand. "...Gross."
"What? What's 'gross?' It's milk. You drink it, you get bigger...you probably shouldn't have any, you can barely get through some of the doors here."
"The color's gross," the Courier said, voice laced with disdain.
"Somebody has their mind in the gutter," Yang said.
"Do I need to bring out the map again?" Without getting a response, Six slammed the paper down on the table. "If you look here at the entire right half of the map, you'll see the territory's owned by a massive tribe of sex-slave-owning rapists. If you look at the bottom half of the map, that whole place is infested with rapists with explosives who ran away after the gang disbanded. That big L shape in the northwest is home to a gang of rabid, raping, necrophilia-ing, bestiality-ing freaks. And the city in the middle of this clusterfuck is a haven of junkies and hookers, which is a horrible combination when you think about it, so the entire desert is a big mess of nonconsensual debauchery with no possible escape, aside from the four other places I went, which isn't even an option most of the time, so I don't think it's really a surprise that my mind is a gutter." While the rest of the students froze and gaped, and focused on forgetting everything he just said, he leaned over to Ruby and pointed at the carton. "...Did you say it makes you bigger?"
"...G...go ahead..."
"Nope. That's enough of...that," Blake trembled, rising from the table and stumbling away. It was as if his sole purpose in life was to spread moderate to severe nausea wherever he went. She was almost sure it was. Weiss, Pyrrha, and Ren followed.
Jaune, on the other hand, sat down with a tray of food where his partner had been. "Did I miss anything?" he asked, more to the remaining children than to the mercenary.
"Nothin' much," Six answered. "Just talking."
"Please stop talking," Ruby whimpered. "Anything but this. Anything."
"Anything?" he repeated, his mischievous tone making the girls' frowns deepen.
"Please let go!" Yang lifted her head off the table, and Ruby and Nora uncurled from the fetal position to see what the noise was.
"I know she said anything, but did it have to be him?" Yang groaned. Cardin was a few tables behind, doing what he did best, i.e. being a nuisance.
Have to be who?" the Courier wondered, digging through his pockets.
"Bigger douche. Think he wants to fight you. Or he's into guys with more muscle than him."
"Typical. Never met the guy, and he's already after me."
"You threatened to haunt him in front of most of the school," Ruby reminded him.
"...Well he started it."
"Yeah," the blonde muttered. "If it was anyone else, I'd say you deserved it." She scowled as the large men guffawed around a Faunus girl, pushing and taking her food, and being assholes in general. "But I really don't like this guy."
"Why's that?"
Her scowl turned back to Six. "Can you not see, hell, can't you hear him being a giant ass over there?"
"I don't see anything," Six grumbled. "I hear you, though, unfortunately."
Yang understood exactly what he meant. "Of course," she spat. "Don't know why I thought you'd be any better."
"Yeah, same here. What's up with that?"
"Maybe we thought you might actually be useful for once, but I guess the joke's on us, huh?"
'Call me useless, as if that never gets old,' Six grumbled in his head. "Maybe you didn't understand me. Unless I have to get involved, I keep my head low. I've got enough of my own problems without getting involved in other peoples' crap. Besides, don't we fight monsters here? Can't she fend for herself?"
"It's four giants picking on one girl, that's hardly a fair fight!"
"Fair..." Six was silent for a moment, then threw some food on the table. "...Not my business. I'm here to kill things and earn my room."
"You're here to be a huntsman," Ruby said strictly. "You're supposed to protect people who can't help themselves."
"Isn't that what you were supposed to do before you got here?" Nora asked angrily. "Beat up monsters and bad guys? You don't sound like much of a savior to me."
"Hey, this is a lot of talk from you all, but are you planning on doing anything about this?" he retorted.
...Not really, Yang thought. At least, she wasn't. It really wasn't her business either, and she knew he wouldn't stop acting the way he did.
Six leaned toward her, whispering out of the corner of his mouth. "Unless you're like me."
She practically threw the table as she stood up. "Fine, you want to see me waste these guys? Here I go!"
"Yeah, that's what I'm talking about!" Nora howled as she and Ruby followed after Yang.
"Aren't you going?" the Courier asked Jaune, pointing a thumb over his shoulder.
"Uh..." The last thing he needed was to draw attention to himself, be it students or staff. It was best just to keep his head down. "I'm...not really good without my sword, I'd probably just get in the way."
"Smart kid." Six took a bundle of small logs from his coat and assembled them into a pile before lighting it with a match.
"What are you doing!" Jaune yelled, partially because the larger man was absolutely nuts, but also because of the noisy hubbub going on behind.
"I want coffee." If he had to be sober on school grounds, it couldn't be halfway. That was just agonizing. He placed a coffee pot on the fire, and continued to search his pockets. After finding nothing, he started scrolling through his Aid tab in his inventory. The stash of coffee beans from the changing room was gone. And the bag from the office. He clenched his fists and screamed to the ceiling. "OZPIIIIIIN!" Was it so bad to want a cup of coffee that wasn't complete shit? He stole those fair and square, damn it.
He looked back down to find he was alone at the table. Turning around, Six noticed almost the entire cafeteria had formed a circle. Jaune, being on the same team as one of the commotion-starters, was given right of way, which meant he was pushed towards the front against his will. And there he stood, not wanting to get involved, to his peers' disappointment. He felt something brush his feet. The Courier had slid between his legs, and was laying stomach-down as he slurped some noodles through his helmet. "God, don't do that!"
"What's goin' on here?" the Wastelander wondered. He saw Yang with one boy in a headlock. Nora was standing on another, hands on hips, laughing in the same way they had been minutes earlier, and reminding Six he really didn't feel comfortable around her. A third appeared to be stuck in Ruby's cape, although she was apparently having a tougher time than the other two huntresses, as she was struggling to take the cloth back. 'Absolutely hopeless,' he grumbled inwardly. The largest, and most douchebag-looking, was still tormenting the girl, who...
Who...
"Is beautiful," he whispered. No, she was perfect. He could look at her and not get a headache from too many colors. She was absolutely gorgeous, and she had those fucking bunny ears, what was up with that, he barely noticed he was too busy looking at her angelic face. And he hadn't even met her yet, so chances were he hadn't traumatized her. Too badly, at least. Six frowned when the large boy grabbed her arm roughly. He slid backwards out of the crowd, sprinted for the darkest corner of the lunch room, and started searching the depths of his inventory. The anguished cries of the boys were mildly disrupting, but at the same time, motivated him to search faster.
"Say uncle!" he heard Yang shout, and grinned a bit. He guessed she wasn't so bad, really, once her anger was directed somewhere else. And when she didn't have her ballistic fists. Speaking of which, he just found the gauntlets.
"Get her off me!" the mohawk boy screamed, followed up by more laughter. Six shuddered, almost a little bit sorry for him. He pulled the greaves and boots on.
"Get off, you're gonna rip it!"
"I'm trying, let go of me!"
'And then there's her,' he thought. Ruby didn't seem very effective without a weapon. That, or she was doing nothing but running around during the fight, which he doubted.
Cardin finally noticed his posse was nowhere to be scene he turned to looked like pure anarchy. The blonde girl apparently started a very one-sided wrestling match. One of his teammates was being used like a skateboard. The last guy was just an idiot. "...The hell?"
He and the rest of the cafeteria winced and held their ears as the feedback of a microphone filled the room.
"Attention Chief Asshole. Incoming." A loud clang was heard in the distance, then another, and another. The crowd turned and saw a man on the other side of the room, covered in thick metal armor, coming towards them at full speed. "Emergency, step aside!" The gathering split down the middle, granting him access to the 'Chief Asshole.' He threw his arms back and launched himself chest-first at Cardin, sending both flying and sliding. Six stood up first, and jumped onto the nearest table, which wasn't an easy feat in salvaged power armor. The suit just couldn't handle the strain of a head-on collision and such active movement, though, and fell off of him in cracked pieces. 'Sad,' he thought. But it had served its purpose, and would be remembered for its sacrifice. He stood proudly on the table as he emerged from his metal cocoon, overcoat billowing, for some reason.
"Oh, great, just what we needed," Yang groaned, releasing her grasp on the almost unconscious student in her arms. Things were about to get interesting in the worst, possibly very entertaining way.
"You!" Six snapped, pointing to the disoriented huntsman who was busy picking himself off the ground. "I heard you were talking shit. Well, here I am."
"What's your problem?" Cardin coughed, holding his head.
"You're the problem," the Wastelander replied. "I've only been active for a year or so, and I've met some real bastards. Myself included. I might me the sole savior of my home, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna be nice about it." He slowly walked toward the end of the table where Cardin landed, the woold thumping beneath his feet. "Sometimes I'm given special jobs. Bounties, but I have to keep the target alive. So I beat the crap outta them until they won't fight back. Then I make sure they stay down. The way they end up, a lot of people say they'd rather die than have me hunt them down. But nobody's had the chance to ask the victims how they feel. Those same people call me cruel and greedy because I don't do anything unless I get something out of it, even if the moral choice is obvious. And they're right. I wasn't planning on kicking your ass a minute ago." The Courier hopped back down onto the floor and swept a leg under the injured boy, bringing him down again. He leaned over the prone student, blocking out the light. "I find tons of litter when I'm out in the Wastes, and I don't bother cleaning it up. Sometimes I drop my garbage wherever I please 'cause I don't feel like carrying it all the way to a trashcan."
"That mad fiend," Yang muttered sarcastically.
"There's a difference between you and me," the Courier continued. "I'm a selfish, violent lowlife. But you..." He stepped on Cardin's chest and pointed to the Faunus behind him. "Why did you come here? Someone told me our job is to protect. If you can't do that, you'd better leave. I'm a bad man, but I can still do what's right. Evil is evil. And someone like you would fit right in where I come from."
Another Veteran Ranger sat at the table the Courier just hopped from, and was supporting his head on his hand, trying to emphasize how ridiculous this was getting. 'What are you doing?' Six's hallucination asked. 'I mean, sure, stand up for the lady and all, I get what you're doing...but the fact you could even run in that crab leg was nothing but drugs and bullshit luck. Abort mission. Retreat.'
The Courier paid himself no mind, stood up on the table and began walking again, now shouting to the crowd. "I am Courier Six, and you will remember me! Savior of Humanity! Slayer of Beasts! Protector of the weak! The innocent!" He crouched down next to the bunny girl, who froze under his gaze. "...and the beautiful."
One of his lenses flickered for a second, making her flinch. 'Why why why I just wanted to eat and then these guys come back and the ghost is here why—'
'I think you scared her,' the phantom Six called from the other end of the table, although his voice remained in the Courier's head. His helmet's unlit eyes gaze him a bored expression.
The Courier almost began boasting again, but felt a hand wrap around his ankle. '...Dammit.' As he was thrown, he couldn't help but miss the weight of all his guns and armor, even though their absence made walking a bit easier. Unfortunately, a table was there to break is fall, and break into painful splinters. Six rolled and hopped back up. "Well, that's nice," he grinned, beckoning Cardin with a finger. "I like a challenge."
'Oh, good,' Six thought angrily. 'This is the part where you get cocky and lose another leg, just like the Legate. Please keep your muscles covered this time. Or better yet, just leave! You stared at Lanius' leg for, like, five minutes before it fell off.' The Courier cracked his knuckles and took off at full speed. 'Hope you don't trip, what with the mutant crab leg you're still getting used to. Have fun prying that thing off when you're done with it, 'cause I know I won't. You know what would have been better than removing a crab leg? Not applying a Stimpak to it so the nerves don't connect with yours.'
'Fuck off, other Courier,' he thought back. He readied his fist as he and Cardin closed in on each other. When they were a few feet apart, he threw a well-timed left hook. Too well-timed. Cardin somehow came to a complete stop before reaching where the Courier's punch was aimed. Unexpectedly,the punch also stopped in front of his face, and the Courier had too much mass to stop. This led to the awkward situation of Six clotheslining himself, then hanging limp as his arm remained stuck in midair.
The crowd started to disperse when they collectively noticed the lavender glyphs holding his and Cardin's arms. Ruby, Yang, and Nora slowly backed away with the rest of the students as Glynda stormed through. Six looked up into her disapproving eyes. She didn't say a word. Fearing for his future, he remained silent as well. She turned to leave with the glyphs, the Courier, and Cardin in tow. '...Didn't even get my coffee,' the Courier realized sadly.
Ruby let out a breath that she wasn't aware she had been holding. "...Wow. That was...really...huh." Not that she was too surprised. If Yang wanted to start a fight, a fight started. And it looked like Six ended them.
Nora saluted the limp man as the cafeteria doors shut behind Goodwitch. "We will remember you, Thrower of Trash." And boy, did he throw Cardin good.
Somewhere else in the disappearing circle, the Faunus heard a low whistle from beside her. "Guess I showed up a bit late. What's up with the shouty guy?" She looked over to the broken table, then cradled her head in her hands. She got through her first year, wasn't that enough torment. And what was with these new freshmen? They were out of their minds. And huge. "You got something stuck," the other girl said, plucking a piece of paper out of the rabbit-girl's jacket. "...Oh man." The Faunus turned to her friend, who was suddenly red in the face.
"Coco...?"
Coco slapped a hand over her mouth, desperately trying to hold back her snickering. "Oh man," she repeated, giving the Faunus the folded paper. "Good luck, Vel." Velvet looked down at the paper in her hands. It said 'My number.' Great. She curiously opened the scrap of paper. 6'66. The words above it were upside down, so she flipped it over. Underneath '99.9' there was an arrow pointing to it that said 'Radio Frequency.' Coco burst out laughing a second time. "He uses a radio!" she guffawed.
"...So—"
"Nope," Weiss interrupted. "Just...please. Stop." Blake closed her mouth. Ren and Pyrrha had gone back to their room, and the two girls decided that some fresh air was called for to sooth their nausea. It's been more than ten minutes since they left. "I...just...why? Why is he here? Why do we have to put up with him? All he does is whine and complain and tell us things we never want to hear and I can't stand it! 'Want to hear about how people are really all murderers and rapists and I bet you want to know all about my experience with both. Did somebody just insult me? How about I bitch and moan about how I cut ties from everyone else and use it as an excuse even though I chose to do it in the first place!' And the only time he stops is when he's trying to kill somebody, why is he even here, does the headmaster think Six might actually help someone?"
The door behind them was flung open. "Just started a fight in the cafeteria and Six tried to crush Cardin with his body, it was awesome," Yang announced. "Then he...sorta got detention, I think. If he's lucky."
"For the fight you started," Ruby added.
The older sister nodded to herself. "He is not gonna be happy when he gets back."
The door hit the smacked against the wall again, with more force. "That was great," the Courier laughed, joining the group by the edge of the roof. "You shoulda seen their faces. If he hated me before..."
"I thought he was supposed to be in detention," Weiss grumbled.
"Yeah, Goodwitch didn't look to happy with you," Yang commented.
"She wasn't. She was absolutely pissed that I got in a fight. Until I said said he was a bigot." Granted, she was still pissed and made him promise to fix the table, but slightly less pissed. "She let me loose and got his friends," he chuckled.
"Alright, so why'd you really do it?"
"Hmm?"
Lavender eyes glared at the man as he laid down on the stone roof, tucking his hands behind his head. "You weren't so eager to fight earlier. Why?"
Six shrugged. "Don't really know. Doesn't seem like me, standing up for people like that." 'Even when they're hot.' "You got lucky, though. Of all the people in the Mojave, you got one of the only non-racists.*** What are the odds?"
"Wow, aren't you just the pillar of morality and justice," Yang said, rolling her eyes.
"Kinda, yeah. Sad, isn't it?" Six frowned as he looked toward the sky. "...What the hell is that."
The huntresses looked up to find the gray storm clouds from last night dispersing, and the sunlight shining through created an arc of color across the sky. "...It's a rainbow," Weiss deadpanned.
"What do you mean, 'a rainbow?'" Six narrowed his eyes at the vibrant streaks. "I thought you just said that when something's sickeningly colorful."
"And where do you think that came from?"
He shrugged. "I don't think about those kinds of things. Don't remember ever seeing one, either, so what was I supposed to think?" Nobody bothered to answer, and they all went about their business, which mainly consisted of staring out in the distance. It was only a matter of time before he started talking, so they were going to take advantage of the silence while they could. "...Blue."
Yang replied with a half-interested "Huh?"
"I'm blue."
"You seemed pretty happy a minute ago," Ruby mumbled.
"Nah," Six said, sitting up and pointing to her. "You're red. Yang's yellow, and all that. I wanna be blue."
"...Huh?" Yang repeated.
"When I got here, the first eight people I came across were as much of a colorful mess as that thing up there," he answered, pointing to the rainbow. "But the sky's huge, bigger than that rainbow, and it's everywhere."
"Yeah. Almost as big as your ego, apparently."
Six climbed to his feet, withdrawing two coats from the one he was wearing. "It's...weird, what just happened. I did something good, and nobody called me a jerk. Is this normal?" He looked down at the two blue dusters in his hands. One with stars and stripes, the other with a single red star a two-headed bear. "This place doesn't make a lotta sense. But nobody ever said Courier Six wasn't adaptable." His hand opened, and the bear duster in it was swept away by the wind. He pulled the second duster over his brown coat. If this place was never hit by bombs, an Old World flag seemed appropriate. "See? I already fit in with you guys."
"Blue doesn't start with a Y," Ruby pointed out. He immediately to his knees, almost sulking.
"Yeah. Don't even like this flag," he muttered. He suddenly raised his head. "But...Yale blue. Pound-zero-eff-four-dee-nine-two. It counts."
Yale blue? Surely he meant Vale blue, named after the school color of one of the Kingdom's most prominent non-huntsman-training schools. "Whatever you say, Yuri," Yang snickered.
"I know it sounds weird, but is it really that funny? Don't make fun of my possibly Soviet culture, jerk."
"She's being a big pervert," Ruby said, elbowing her sister.
"...Forget I asked. Weirdo." Now, what to do with the emblem? Judging from Ruby's rose, Nora's hammer thing, and everyone else, circular emblems was a thing here, and he needed to infiltrate these people and make them think he is one of them and...no, no, he needed to fit in. But what would it be? A skull? Fitting, definitely. A sun? Also appropriate, considering it's constantly saving/destroying his skin. '...I'll come up with something when the time's right.'
Buffout has worn off.
He attempted to stand back up, but immediately failed. He could barely move the crab leg without the strength of steroids. So he played it cool and laid back down.
"You can't get up, can you," Yang said, less a question and more an observation.
"Don't be stupid, I'm the Courier! Of course I can—" The golden-haired girl stood over him, holding a hand in front of his face. He stared at the appendage, almost perplexed by it. Why was it here? What would it do next?
"You want help or not? I can't stand here with your sushi smell all day, get up."
'...He does smell like sushi,' Blake realized as the breeze wafted the seafood smell her way. But the question was if he was sushi. He wouldn't miss a bite or two, he could grow it back, right?
"You seem...less angry all of a sudden," Six observed. "Am I finally forgiven?"
"No. I don't know if I could ever forgive what you did." Yang continued to stare down at him, expecting some stupid snide comment from him. He stayed quiet, for once, and she sighed. "You're still an ass. But...I guess...you can't be all bad. After that thing with Cardin. Could be worse, considering where you're from."
"Weird, it's almost like I've been saying that this whole time." The Courier grabbed her hand, and in that moment, the clouds broke away from each other, allowing the shining golden glow to shine down and reflect off the two.
When the days turn dark
And we start to fall
Six frowned, his grip on the huntress' hand tightening slightly.
I will pick you up and
We will fix it all
Yang squeezed her eyes shut and let out a low, irritated sigh. "Ruby."
"I know you're not blaming this on me," the younger sister gasped. "Although I have to give them credit, whoever it is is doing it right."
Six let go of Yang's hand and covered his ears. "Damn it, never should've gotten sentimental, this sucks!"
Don't you worry about the dark
I will light up the night with the love in my heart
I will burn like the sun that will keep you safe and warm
"I think I getting cavity, it's so sweet," the blonde groaned. "Who's doing this? Blake? Weiss?" Both shrugged. "Then who?"
"Pick me up so we can go already!" the Courier roared.
"I'm trying! How the hell did Cardin throw you so hard?"
"I stashed my stuff before I body-checked him, and I got it back on the way here," Six growled. "Come on, I can't be that heavy! You punched me across a plane, and I had a lot of my stuff then!"
"Maybe someone should try a diet. Or not carrying a army's worth of weapons in their coat!"
...She had a point, he realized. Not about carrying so many guns. The Sierra Madre taught him there was no such thing as too many. But if he saw something and he thought it might be useful and he thought it wouldn't be missed, he grabbed it. And there were a lot of things around Beacon that looked pretty unnoticeable. "Well maybe if everyone worked together, we—"
Like the smell of a rose on a summer's day
I will be there to take all your fears away
"Damn it." Weiss, Blake, even Ruby had already left them behind. 'What happened to helping those in need?' he thought.
"Well, there's always one thing we could try." Yang cracked her knuckles. At first, the Courier shook his head, but then he thought about how long it would take to crawl away, and he had no clue how long this damn song was.
"...Hit me," he sighed.
With a touch of my hand I will turn your life to
Yang decided to be merciful and aimed for the sturdier-looking chest plate, which sent the man sliding and yelling through the doorway.
GOOOO-O-O-O-O-OOLD
One of the Student Rooms, Beneath the Roof
"Are you proud of yourself?"
Nora turned from the window to her partner and pulled her speakers in. "I was just trying to help, jeez." Some people just didn't understand ambience.
Yang sucked in a breath of air and tugged, managing to slide the Courier's body a foot or two. "It'd be great if you didn't tear the collar off," he muttered.
"It'd be great if you got a better coat, your giant popped collar looks dumb."
"Whatever, you all look ridiculous. What's your scarf for? Fashion? What about Ruby? Combat boots when you're not in the military? Cape and hood when you don't live in the desert? Her gun and her belt don't even carry the same cartridge type." He enjoyed looking good as much as the next person, but at least he tried to keep it practical.
"She wears it because she likes the cape," the blonde grunted, yanking him another few feet. "What's so special about the coat?"
"Somebody gave it to be." Judging by the tones in their voices, they decided neither of these conversations was a good one to continue. "Doesn't explain the belt, though."
"She's got...special stuff," Yang answered. "Stuff you might not like, depending on what's under that helmet."
"And what 'stuff' is that?"
"You know. Silver crosses, wooden stakes, garlic, et cetera."
"Garlic? She carries garlic?" Talk about high class, just carrying spices around wherever. Why would she even... "Wait, really? She's afraid of...really?"
"She wants story time, I'll give her a story she won't forget!" Yang roared, momentarily forgetting her surroundings. She cleared her throat. "Uh, yeah, she doesn't really dig the supernatural stuff. For some reason."
"And yet she's not terrified by the dark army of wolves and bears."
"She is. But she hates Grimm more than she's afraid of them." Six absent-mindedly covered the screen of his Pip-Boy. "Can you walk yet? I'm not kidding, you weigh a ton, and your skull's too hard to punch you all the way to our room."
"But how can I swoon over such a powerful, beautiful woman if I have to concentrate on standing?"
"You feel like a sack of lead-filled bricks. I's sure you'll manage." Yang helped Six off the ground in a manner that was a bit like trying to get a seven foot infant to stand up. Eventually, it did work, and he started limping down the hall alongside her.
He searched his pockets for another jar of Buffout, intent on gulping it down the moment she looked away. Thankfully, he got that opportunity when she stopped to check her phone. 'Now if only I had the Buffout.' Six started searching more frantically. Either the monster that owned this thing had a lot of muscle to move it, or mixing and matching non-human parts was a terrible idea. 'Probably both.' Either way, he didn't want this leg to be dead weight much longer.
Yang frowned at her sister's message. A link, and the words 'uh oh.' Not a good thing to see. It was a link to a Vale news article.
LARGER-THAN-HUMAN HOLES CUT INTO EMERALD FOREST FENCE, GRIMM INFESTATION IN VALE RESIDENTIAL AREA
The blonde clenched her teeth. "Siiiiiiix!"
"Uh oh." The Wastelander managed to find his drugs and downed the container, then started to run. He slid around corners, almost slicing the tiles with the metal additions to his footwear, and putting small cracks in the walls every time he failed to stop himself at a turn. Once he reached the room, he slammed the door shut behind him, only to find the other three huntresses scowling at him. "...I messed up, didn't I."
His eyes widened when the door behind him was torn from the frame. "Do you have any idea what you've done?" Blake seethed.
"No, and before you punch me out the window, please explain."
"Well," Weiss snapped, gesturing behind her. "If you look out that window, you'll find a forest filled with evil creatures of darkness that will kill every man, woman, and child they find. And it seems somebody left a hole in the fence which let them infiltrate one of the safest places on the planet!"
"Wait, are you talking about that shitty chain fence? That was fulla holes when I got there, and I didn't make them that much bigger. If those things are in the city, you can't blame me."
"You say that like you weren't pissing them off for hours before you came back," Yang cut in.
"Hardly my fault! Usually when I blow up dozens of baddies, the rest run away. These things are just too stupid, I guess." He noticed a large crate in the corner with a '6' written on it, and opened it. His knives. Perfect. The Courier started loading them into his pockets by the handful, not noticing the bill on the bottom of the lid.
"And just what are you planning on doing with those?" Weiss questioned.
"My job." He pushed past Yang and started walking down the hall. "Kill bad guys, save humanity. Look good doing it."
'And by 'look good,' you mean almost die and pretend everything is under control,' the hallucination of Six mumbled next to him. 'Great.'
The huntresses were hesitant to follow. The headmaster announced that access to the southeast was restricted, and now they knew why. They didn't feel rested enough after the Initiation for a real fight with more Grimm, and this didn't sound like a small infestation. They started quickly changing into their combat clothes anyway. Somebody had to make sure there was a residential district at the end of the day, and letting Six go alone meant there would be nothing but rubble. Or a nasty red stain somewhere in the streets. Probably both.
"Guess we can't complain," Ruby sighed as the followed after. "He's getting better, right?"
Footnotes:
* - He wasn't exactly sure if he should be thankful that some entity may want him to continue living. The past seven months had been Hell on earth, and it had been going downhill all the while. What were the odds that he'd see any improvement? Not odds he was willing to bet on.
** - He always had a hole in his guts. More accurately, he had the entire layout of his internal organs reworked into a doughnut shape to avoid serious damage whenever some asshole went for a gut shot. Or whenever he had to commit tactical seppuku. Or whenever he had to survive being turned into a giant demon bear's bling.
*** - Unless you count the human race. But there were very few intelligent beings on Earth that truly had a burning hatred for humanity nowadays, so they aren't usually taken into consideration.
AN: Making that build was the worst thing I've ever done in Fallout. I've done an evil Legion run. I've done a 'kill every killable person in the game' run. I've assembled the corpses of the NCR troops at Helios to spell hurtful things about the Brotherhood before blasting them with a space laser (again). But this is something else. This time, the courier suffers. Hardcore mode until I get to Big Mountain. 180 pound carrying capacity. I was overencumbered before I made it out of Mitchell's house. No weapons skills tagged, so none of them are above 20, if I remember right. I went north of Goodsprings for that historical accuracy, got a single giant Radscorpion trapped in the cemetery fence (Six would be proud, it's exactly how he would handle it) and used almost all of my 20 gauge on it. I also had about 5% of my health after it stung me twice.
My courier doesn't have enough Strength to use the Weathered 10mm. The weapon that I use extensively for at least a quarter of the game.
I take it back. With those stats, Six might be the most tragic hero in the history of fiction. Any journey can be considered heroic when you're barely durable enough to walk ten steps. Maybe I should use that tumblr profile to document the trials of the worst Fallout build ever created. I recommend keeping an eye on it, I'm sure it'll be a fucking hilarious train wreck to watch.