Chapter 11 – No More Ghosts

Supper was subdued, to say the least. I think the only ones talking were Doralice, Ginny and Zeb. Bret said something like "Pass the potatoes," and I mumbled, "Thank you."

After the meal was over, Doralice and Ginny got up to do the dishes. I told them both to go relax, me and Bret would take care of those. He gave me a Bret glare but never said anything, and we were almost halfway finished before words were spoken. "Did you talk to her?"

"Yep."

"Did you get anywhere?"

"I don't know. She listened to me. I don't know if any of what I was saying got through to her."

"Any progress on the wedding?"

"Nope. She didn't know if she was gonna get married or not."

Bret picked up another plate to dry before turning the questions to me. "What are you gonna do?"

"Me? Wait. For now, at least. If she ain't done nothin' by Friday, we'll catch the stage back to Little Bend. If I'd known the trouble my bein' here would cause . . . "

"I think you were just an excuse, Bart. I don't think she's been sure about this since the very beginning. But if she don't marry him, she'll say it was because of you."

"And I'll forever be blamed for stoppin' a weddin'."

"Yep. Glad it's you and not me."

"Thanks a lot."

We finished the clean-up in silence. As soon as we were done, I headed for our room. I was worn out, from the top of my head to the bottom of my toes. I stripped down to my Union Suit and slipped beneath the covers, then fell asleep faster than you can say 'bed.' It was a night filled with restlessness; one dream faded right into another. I don't remember them all, just that there were a lot of them and they seemed disjointed. I woke up several times and found myself alone in the bed; I have no idea where Doralice was.

Sometime towards morning I finally settled down, and when I woke up for good it was light outside, and there was a woman in my arms. I was happy to find her there; I pulled her closer and kissed her until her eyelids fluttered open. "Good morning, beautiful," I murmured and was rewarded with a smile.

"Hiya, handsome." She looked peaceful and happy, like getting away from everything had been good for her. I forgot how hard she worked, with five babies and a house and a husband to take care of. And that wasn't counting the work she helped with on the ranch.

"How are you this mornin'?"

"Good," she answered, as I leaned down to kiss her. "Everything alright with you? You didn't get a chance to tell me how things went yesterday."

"That's because I'm still not sure."

"Did you get to see the things you wanted to see?"

"Not exactly." I was gonna tell Doralice what had happened sooner or later; it might as well be now. So I started at the beginning and finished when I climbed into bed last night. She laid there and listened while I explained what had been one of the crazier days of my life, and looked at me with sympathy when I was finished.

"She's got cold feet and she's usin' you as a reason. It's a shame, too, because Zeb really loves her. You think she'll go through with the wedding?"

"I don't know, blue-eyes. If she hasn't made a decision by tomorrow, I think we should pack up and head for home. Bret agrees with me. What about you?"

"I think that's a good idea. But I'd like to talk to her before we do that. I don't know that it'll make a difference, but I'd like to try. You have any objections?"

"Me? Not a one in the world." I was about to say somethin' else when Lily finally decided she'd waited long enough for breakfast, and started to cry.

"Sounds like the little one wants her momma. Her poppas gonna get dressed and go see the spots I didn't get to see yesterday. That alright with you?"

"It is," Doralice told me as she began to suckle the baby. "Just don't let Sam go with you."

"Not a chance," I replied as I got out of bed. By the time I was shaved and dressed, Doralice was up and Lily had resumed sleeping. Rosa was cooking breakfast and I waited, deciding I'd be better off if I ate. Besides, Sam wasn't anywhere in sight – truth be told, neither was Zebulon.

Within thirty minutes I was on a horse and headed to the places I didn't get to see yesterday. Painter's Bluff, Hidden Hills, the east pasture, the road to what once was Lon Tenley's ranch. I spent most of the day riding around the ranch, looking at places that had lived for long years in my memory. Some were exactly as I remembered them; some had changed. I was pleased to see that Tenley's ranch had been broken up into two small farms . . . it looked a lot different than it had all those years ago. Cleaner, safer, nothing like the way it was when Tenley was still alive.

And then, of course, I had to go to the little church; the one with the graveyard. I hadn't been back to visit since the day we laid Caroline in the ground. It didn't look the same, but I don't know if that was caused by the passage of so many years or by the fact that I didn't remember much about that day. I was hurt and in shock, and I was sure that I'd never get over what had happened.

But time had gone by, just like my life, and wonderful things had helped erase the pain and bitterness from my soul. First Doralice, then our family, and everything I went through with Caroline was just a memory. And they were memories I could live with, and appreciate what I had now. That beautiful woman I was married to, who loved me like no other and bore my children, who brought me back to life. The one who always stood by my side and faced every day with me. The love I might not have appreciated if I hadn't loved Caroline first.

I had expected tears; anticipated them, but there were none. I said my goodbyes and put my hat back on, then mounted my horse and rode back towards the ranch. After all these years I was finally free of the ghosts that haunted me, and I knew that I was right where I belonged – on the B Bar M Ranch with the woman I loved, and our children.