Dinner With Moe-Written by NMMacc18

Plot: Calvin is forced to have dinner at Moe's house, and ends up having to fight his mad scientist father.

It was another normal day at Bill Watterson Elementary School.

"GAH! MY EYES! MY EYES!" Moe yelled as he ran across the school.

"Its a win-win! I give you my lunch money, and then I get to throw hot sauce at your face! That's fair!" Calvin yelled as he threw a broken bottle of hot sauce into the trash.

"Moe's probably going to get back at you Calvin." Susie remarked as Calvin walked pass her.

"Pah! He deserved it anyway!" Calvin said dismissing Susie's comment. Susie rolled her eyes.

And yes, strange things like this happen on a daily basis.

Later at recess...

"Hey twinky!" Moe yelled as he walked up to Calvin, who was playing on the swing.

"What now?" Calvin said annoyed.

"Hey, there's a kickball tournament going on right now. Want to join?" Moe said, but he had a grin on his face that meant he was up to something. But Calvin didn't notice.

"Yeah, I'll join. Only if its rigged for me to win though." Calvin said.

"Great! Here's the first kick!" Moe said as he kicked a bouncy ball at Calvin, but it bounced off Calvin head. Calvin wasn't fazed in the slightest.

"Well Moe, even though that did hurt slightly. That was pathetic." Calvin said, trying not to laugh.

"Then how about this?" Moe said as he punched Calvin off the swing.

"Okay, that hurt somewhat." Calvin said as he got up.

"Oh yeah, and from your little stunt you pulled earlier with the hot sauce, you owe me another 25 cents." Moe said as he reached out his hand.

Calvin was annoyed.

"Sure Moe, I'll happily abide to your request." Calvin said, as he began to reach for his pocket.

But then, Calvin took Moe completely by surprise and kicked him in the shin.

"Oh, your going to get it now twinky." Moe said angrily as he got up and lunged at Calvin. Calvin made a mad dash back inside the school, with Moe close behind.

Calvin hid behind a trash can, while Moe came running in.

"Come out where ether you are twinky, and it won't hurt as much." Moe said.

Calvin heard this, and then he grabbed the fire extinguisher that just happened to be above him, and then jumped out and sprayed Moe with it.

"AAAA!" Moe yelled as he ran off.

"SERVES YOU RIGHT!" Calvin yelled triumphantly.

But moments later, Moe came back and sprayed a fire extinguisher at Calvin.

"GAH! YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!" Calvin yelled as he sprayed back at Moe.

However, this started dragging out all over the school, and ended up going into the cafeteria.

"Hey, do you hear some something being sprayed in the cafeteria?" A lunch worker asked. The other ones shook their heads, so she went out so see.

She went out to see Calvin and Moe spraying the fire extinguisher all over the place, and kids running all over the place screaming.

She ran to Principal Spittle's office as fast as she could, and burst open his office door.

"Food fight again?" Principal Spittle said groaning.

"No, there's two kids spraying each other with fire extinguishers. Their two boys that look like their in the first grade." The cafeteria worker said.

Principal Spittle groaned, he knew exactly who she was talking about.

"I'll take care of it..." He said groaning as he walked toward the cafeteria.

When he got there, he saw several students running and screaming, foam all over the place.

"JUST GIVE UP MOE! I'M TO POWERFUL FOR YOU!"

"IN YOUR DREAMS TWINKY!"

Principal Spittle groaned. He walked over to the lights, and turned them off.

BANG!

Principal Spittle turned the lights back on, and saw Moe lying down on the floor with two fire extinguishers beside him. Calvin meanwhile, was trying to sneak away.

"CALVIN!"

"Oh crud..." Calvin said to himself as he looked at Principal Spittle.

"Office. Now." Principal Spittle hissed as he left the cafeteria. Calvin groaned and followed.

Twenty Minutes Later...

"I HAVE TO WHAT?!"

"I want you tonight to go over to Moe's house and have dinner with him. Maybe it will allow you two to become friends." Principal Spittle said.

"WHAT?! ARE YOU INSANE?! THIS HAS TO COUNT AS CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT!" Calvin said in fury.

"There's nothing cruel and unusual about this Calvin, I can't have you two destroying my school." Principal Spittle said, trying to stay calm.

"YOUR school?! Does it have your name on it? Did you build this entire thing by yourself by hand? No, you didn't. So this isn't YOUR school." Calvin said annoyed.

Principal Spittle groaned.

"Look Calvin, this isn't meant to be punishment, I'm trying to help you make friends."

"Friends? Pah! I have plenty of friends!" Calvin said annoyed.

"Then name them."

"Well lets see, there's Hobbes..."

"Besides your stuffed tiger."

"Oh, then I got nothing." Calvin said. Principal Spittle groaned.

"Okay Calvin, you don't need to become friends with Moe, just have respect toward him."

"He needs to respect ME first before I can respect him!"

"Look, just make sure you get this signed by one of Moe's parents and return it to school tomorrow." Principal Spittle said as he handed Calvin a piece of paper.

Calvin took the piece of paper and left grumbling.

Later...

"... So your saying your Principal is making you have dinner with that bully?" Hobbes asked to Calvin later that day after Calvin got home from school.

"Yes! This is blasphemy! This goes against my rights!" Calvin said annoyed.

"Well maybe you could become friends with him." Hobbes suggested.

Calvin glared at him long and hard.

"Or not..." Hobbes said sighing.

"Right, my sole goal is to get out of there alive, which is why your coming with me." Calvin said.

"Why me?!"

"Because you can maul Moe and his weird family members if they try to use me as a lab experiment." Calvin said.

Hobbes groaned, it was going to be a long dinner.

Meanwhile...

In a large, very black colored house that was about a five minute walk from school, is where Moe lived with his father, the crazed Dr. Scientist, and his two bumbling assistants, Hugh and Jack.

Who is Dr. Scientist you may ask?

Well, he's a thin guy on the taller side, who wears a white lab coat and black shirt and shoes. His hair is a mix of black and gray, as was his long mustache. With one side being completely black, while the other was completely gray.

And as you may have guessed, he's a mad scientist.

"Heh heh." Dr. Scientist said as he continued to work on his gigantic robot.

"Soon, once I finish this baby in a few weeks, I will be able to launch my attack on the world, and then I, Dr. Murdoch Scientist, will be able to rule the world! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Dr. Scientist said as he laughed manically.

"Hey Dad." Moe said as he came into Dr. Scientist's view.

"Oh hey there son. How was school?"

"Eh, twinky and I got into a war with the fire extinguishers, and I got hit with his, and now the Principal wants him to have dinner with us tonight." Moe said annoyed.

"That kid you steal the lunch money from?"

"Yeah, I was trying to get him to pay up even more because he poured hot sauce on me today as well." Moe said as he put the lunch money into a jar that said "Evil Funds".

"Eh, that kid is stupid. Maybe I can scare him, he won't bug with you again!" Dr. Scientist said evilly.

"But don't we need to prepare a dinner so he doesn't figure out your an evil genius?" Moe asked.

"Oh! Yeah... Eh, that's Hugh and Jack's job." Dr. Scientist said as he went to the elevator, with Moe following.

Oh yeah, probably should've mentioned that the basement of their house is a ridiculously large lab that Dr. Scientist uses for his plans.

Dr. Scientist took the elevator up a few stories, to where Dr. Scientist's henchmen, Hugh and Jack lived.

Now Hugh and Jack were both similar in height. While Hugh was slightly taller, and had brown hair. Jack on the other hand was slightly shorter and had hair which was a pretty light shade of red.

Currently, Hugh and Jack were in their bedroom doing their "workout" which consisted of dancing to random songs.

"Are they dancing to songs again?" Moe asked.

"Yes, as always..." Dr. Scientist sighed as he kicked open the door.

"HUGH! JACK!"

"Yeah boss?" Hugh said as he stopped dancing and tried to turn off the music, but fell trying to , and caused the music player to fall over and break.

"Alright! I turned it off without even touching it!" Hugh said happily.

"Yes! We're psychic!" Jack added in happily.

We also probably should've mentioned that these two weren't the sharpest tools in the shed.

"Look here idiots, I need a 5-course meal made ASAP!" Dr. Scientist said.

"What's a 5-course meal?" Hugh asked.

"Never mind... We just need a dinner to serve several people." Dr. Scientist said rolling his eyes.

"Oh okay. To the kitchen!" Jack said as he and Hugh ran down the stairs, but tripped fell down a flight of stairs.

"Idiots..." Dr. Scientist grumbled.

"We're okay!" Hugh yelled from downstairs.

Two hours later...

Calvin and Hobbes looked up at the house.

"Well, this totally doesn't look suspicious." Calvin said sarcastically.

"Well you know what they say, never judge a book by its cover." Hobbes said.

"Oh please, Moe obviously lives with some madman. Maybe he's like Gru from Despicable Me..." Calvin said pondering, Hobbes groaned.

"How about you just knock on the door?"

"I was going to furball." Calvin said as he knocked on the door.

Moments later, Jack swung open the door.

"Geez, how about you kill me while your at it?" Calvin said annoyed.

"Oh, you must be the guests! Come in! Dinner will be served soon!" Jack said, paying no attention to Calvin's comment and ran back into the kitchen.

"Well are they here?" Dr. Scientist asked annoyed.

"Oh yeah, he's got some animal that walks on its hind legs." Jack remarked.

"What?" Dr. Scientist said confused.

"Hey boss, you want me to start plying my violin?" Hugh asked.

"Yeah sure, go ahead." Dr. Scientist said as he and Moe sat down at the kitchen table, and Calvin and Hobbes took their seats.

"Um, hi?" Calvin said nervously.

"Ah! You must be the loon my son calls twinky! Pleasure to meet you!" Dr. Scientist said.

"My name is Calvin you wacko." Calvin said annoyed.

"Oh yeah, I forgot..." Dr. Scientist said nervously.

"Obviously..." Calvin said annoyed.

"So who's your little friend?" Dr. Scientist asked, looking at Hobbes.

"The name's Hobbes. I'm a tiger if you can see." Hobbes said as he looked at his nails.

"He can talk?!" Dr. Scientist said shocked. Moe was just as surprised, as he now saw Hobbes as an actual tiger for the first time.

"Well yeah, can't you see?!" Calvin said annoyed.

"What is he? Some sort of alien?" Dr. Scientist asked.

"No! He's a tiger!" Calvin said annoyed.

"Then where's he from?" Moe asked.

"Well I'm from-"

"Dinner is served!" Jack said as he threw a bunch of plates with food of them onto them. Hugh then began playing his violin, which was very bad and annoying.

"And I thought Mom's food was bad..." Calvin said as he looked at the food, which was all burn beyond recognition.

"Jack what did you even cook?" Dr. Scientist asked to Jack.

"Oh! My grandma's world-famous 'Filler Upper'! It features lots of random foods!" Jack said proudly."

"I'd beg to differ on the 'world-famous' part..." Hobbes said looking at the food in disgust.

Eventually, they began eating in silence, until Calvin decided to ask a question.

"So uh, Moe's Dad... What do you do for a living?" Calvin asked.

"Me? Oh! I uh... make stuff for the government."

"What kind of stuff."

"Machinery."

"What kind of machinery?"

"Many types."

Calvin was still suspicious, so he came up with a plan.

"I got to use the bathroom. Come on Hobbes." Calvin said as he left toward the bathroom, with Hobbes following.

Moe and Dr. Scientist took no notice, and continued to eat.

However, Calvin and Hobbes weren't going to the bathroom, they noticed an elevator, and they got in and took it down to the basement.

"Clearly something is up, and I'm going to get to the bottom of it!" Calvin said determined.

"I think the elevator is one big red flag." Hobbes remarked.

Once the elevator reached the basement, they got out, and were shocked as they looked around Dr. Scientist's lab.

"Ha! I knew he was lying to me!" Calvin said as he looked around.

"Obviously..." Hobbes said as he looked around.

Then, Calvin and Hobbes saw the robot Dr. Scientist was working on.

"Woah! Cool! A robot! Lets try it out!" Calvin said as he ran up and got in the unfinished robot.

"Erm, Calvin, I don't think its finished..." Hobbes said as he looked at it.

"Who cares! I'm going to use this to make sure I don't have to go to school ever again!" Calvin said as he turned it on. Hobbes rolled his eyes.

Calvin pressed one of the buttons on the robot. It began to move, but then crashed to the ground.

"WHAT WAS THAT?!" Dr. Scientist said as he got up from his meal.

"Oh no..." He muttered as he, Moe, Hugh, and Jack ran down to the lab, and saw an unfinished robot messed up thanks to Calvin.

"Uh, I think the robot's broken boss." Hugh said as he looked at it.

"Yeah, like we didn't already know that!" Moe snapped.

Dr. Scientist was fuming.

"Uh... Sorry?" Calvin said as he got out of the robot.

"So... you've figured it out Calvin... You've figured it out..." Dr. Scientist said seething.

"What? That your a moron?"

"NO! YOU FIGURED OUT THAT I WANT TO RULE THE WORLD! ONE OF THESE DAYS, I! DR. MURDOCH SCIENTIST WILL RULE THE WORLD!"

Calvin and Hobbes burst out laughing.

"Its not funny! That's my real name!"

"We know! Its so funny though!" Hobbes said while laughing.

"That's the name my parents gave me!"

"Talk about pathetic!" Calvin said laughing.

"THAT'S IT! YOUR DEAD!" Dr. Scientist yelled as he grabbed a ray gun out of his lab coat and shot it at Calvin and Hobbes.

"Woah! Run!" Calvin said as he and Hobbes made a run for it.

"After them!" Dr. Scientist said as he and Moe began to chase after him. Hugh and Jack grabbed something out of a toolbox.

"You think a wrench will be good enough?" Jack asked.

"Yeah! They work as boomerangs!" Hugh said.

"Great! Lets get him!" Jack said as he and Hugh grabbed wrenches for themselves and joined the chase.

Calvin and Hobbes managed to avoid it all, and they reached a dead end at Dr. Scientist's Root Beer Barrels.

"Oh this will be easy, just let all the root beer out and then we'll be home free!" Calvin said as he and Hobbes looked at it.

"Wait! No! Not the root beer! Please!" Dr. Scientist said as he, Moe, Hugh, and Jack caught up with them.

"Well gee Dr. Scientist, I don't know..." Calvin began.

"I'll do anything! Please!" Dr. Scientist said, getting on his knees.

"How about getting that paper signed?" Hobbes whispered to Calvin, Calvin shook his head in agreement.

"Alright, just sign this paper saying that I was here for dinner and we'll call it a night." Calvin said as he handed the paper to Dr. Scientist.

Dr. Scientist scribbled his name quickly and gave the paper back to Calvin.

"There! Now get out!" Dr. Scientist said.

"Whatever you say..." Calvin said as he and Hobbes began to climb up the emergency exit, but once they got to the top, Calvin pressed a button to let all the root beer out, causing the four villains to be swept away.

"CURSE YOU CALVIN!" Dr. Scientist yelled as he and the others got swept away.

"Suckers!" Calvin said as he gave Hobbes a high-five as they left.

The next day...

"So Calvin, what did you learn last night through that dinner?" Principal Spittle asked as Calvin handed him the signed sheet of paper the next morning.

"That Moe's Dad is a crazy mad-scientist that wants to take over the world, and his two assistants that have the IQ of Patrick from SpongeBob." Calvin said as he left.

Principal Spittle groaned. He knew he would never understand what goes on in Calvin's mind.

THE END

Cast:

Calvin: Tom Kenny

Hobbes: Owen Wilson

Moe: Jeremy Irons

Principal Spittle: Tom Cruise

Special Guest Stars:

The Cafeteria Worker: Kristen Wiig

Dr. Scientist: Elijah Wood

Hugh: James Franco

Jack: Michael J. Fox

Next Episode: 6B: Hotel Calvin-Calvin and Hobbes convert their house into a hotel.