Chapter Ten
Roslin never thought that the morale of the fleet could sink any lower than it had been in the period following the initial attacks. In the first month of their exodus she had seen despair and mourning on a mass scale. Their thirst for salvation, however, had kept the fleet going, the hope for a new life driving them all on.
In the eight weeks since Apollo and Starbuck had disappeared she had seen this hope dwindle. She could never have predicted that two people would have such an effect, especially two pilots who had no real presence in the eyes of the fleet. But it had sent shockwaves throughout the masses.
Adama had spent four weeks in life-station under observation. When he was released he had holed himself up in his quarters, leaving the running of the ship to Tigh. The fleet, which was still resentful of the military since the Gideon incident, was not happy about this development.
To make matters worse, two weeks ago D'Anna Biers had released previously unseen footage from her time on the Galactica. It had contained a heart warming moment between the two lost pilots as they exercised in the gym. They had looked so happy and comfortable in each others presence, obviously completely unaware that they were being watched. D'Anna had called the footage the "true portrayal of comradeship." She had presented it as a gift in order to honour them, but its effect was the opposite. Sometimes it was better to try and forget what was hurting, so you could grieve and move on. The footage brought back to the fore what the people had missed most about them.
Lieutenant Agathon was still the acting CAG, another unpopular choice. It wasn't his fault it was just that no-one else seemed motivated or qualified enough to do the job. The pilots were unresponsive to his command and sullenly flew their CAPs. The ship no longer heard the playful banter of Starbuck over the comm systems. They had also lost the mentors and leadership they had found in the Adama men.
Adama had refused to accept that they were dead, so the fleet had remained at the same location for eight weeks. He still hoped that they would suddenly jump back one day and he would not here any other opinion on the matter. There had been no funeral, no closure for anybody.
Fortunately the cylons had not attacked the fleet during this time but the fleet was constantly on edge thinking that at any moment they would descend upon them.
And now they were losing their President…
Roslin could feel herself wasting away slowly, her hold on life leaving her as each day passed. She knew it would only be a matter of weeks or even days until she joined her family and those that they had left behind. Roslin decided that she could not leave this world in the state that it was in.
She would have to confront Adama.
When Roslin entered his quarters they were dark, the smell of alcohol and sweat wafting through her nostrils. Adama was sitting at his desk with an empty bottle of ambrosia in front of him. The room was a mess, with boxes everywhere and various items scattered about. Roslin found she glanced at one of the boxes, which had a photo album sticking out.
As Adama had not even acknowledged her existence she decided to pick up the album and open it. The inside was inscribed with "Leland Joseph Adama aged two to three." Roslin gave a small smile as she recognised a young Lee immediately. He was only a toddler but still had the bright blue eyes and the same serious expression he had often carried. The pictures mainly showed Lee playing with various toys and in a few pictures he was riding a tricycle, with a triumphant look across his face.
There was only one picture of Lee with his dad. They were standing apart next to a small cot containing a baby, which Roslin guessed must be Adama's youngest son, Zak.
"Lee was so proud when we brought Zak home" came a gravely voice from the other side of the room, making Roslin jump slightly.
"Bill…"
"He would stay by his side relentlessly. Once I even found him asleep at the foot of his cot."
"I'm so sorry Bill, I really am. He was too young…"
"He's not dead."
"Bill," said Roslin quietly. "Bill, it's been eight weeks. He's gone."
"They may have jumped away and found a planet to land on."
Roslin hated this conversation already, but it had to be done, "do you really believe, that if they were still alive, Lieutenant Thrace would not have found a way to bring Lee back to you yet?"
"I refuse to give up on him. I've done that to him too many times. Do you see that picture of us? That was the first time I had seen him in six months. I even missed the birth of his brother. I refuse to let him down again."
"He knew how much you loved him, truly he did."
Adama didn't respond. Instead he grabbed his bottle of ambrosia, saw that it was empty and threw it in the bin, causing the bottle to shatter. Roslin couldn't help jumping at the sudden violent sound in the silent room.
"Lee would not want this Bill," she continued. "He would not want you to stop living, nor would Lieutenant Thrace."
"I refuse…"
"They're dead Bill," said Roslin, abruptly interrupting Adama. "I'm so, so sorry but they're gone."
Adama stood up quickly and then silently left the room. He knew she was right, but he still could not let them go. He felt that if he did, then he would fail Lee again, just like he did to Zak.
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Adama did not know where he was going. The crew scattered as he stalked through the hallways, weary of being in his wake. Adama felt a pang of hurt strike through him. He had seen the crew react to him in a number of ways but they had never feared him.
Adama turned a corner and found himself in the memorial corridor, face to face with the photograph Helo had put up over six weeks ago. Lee and Kara looked so happy and at peace. The responsibilities of the fleet and fighting for their own lives, were no longer weighing on them. He moved closer to the picture, placing his hand gently upon it and felt the tears streak down his face.
He knew what he had to do, as much as it pained him to do it.
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Tigh was pleased to be shocked when Adama walked into the CIC that afternoon, looking like he had finally had a shower and a shave.
"Welcome back," he said in the warmest voice he could muster.
Adama glanced briefly at Tigh and then studied the dradis monitor for a moment, "Mr Gaeta I need you to plot a course to the Omega sector, we have a planet to find."
"Yes Sir," responded Gaeta slightly hesitatingly.
Adama ignored Gaeta and grabbed the intercom phone, holding it up to his mouth.
"This is the Commander," he said in a stern and strong voice. "I have resumed command of the ship, all hands prepare for a jump in thirty minutes. A funeral will be held for Captain Adama and Lieutenant Thrace at 0900 hours tomorrow, all non-essential crew members are to be in attendance in full dress uniforms."
The crew in the CIC all bowed their heads as Adama finished his speech. They watched as he put the phone down again and stood staring at the dradis consol in eerie silence.
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At 0900 hours the next morning virtually the whole crew walked down to the hangar deck in their full dress greys, their gold braids and white gloves gleaming. There had not been this many people at a funeral since the mass memorial service after the initial attacks. Roslin, Billy and the quorum members all stood at the front with the senior officers. The rest of the crew stood behind them.
Kara and Lee were both given a full military service, which was conducted with the usual grace.
Adama said a few words as their Commanding officer as he did for all services. He then took out two small boxes from his pocket and turned to the crew.
"We are here today to honour two of the best soldiers and pilots that the Colonial Fleet has ever known. Without these two most, if not all of us, would not be standing here today…"
Roslin thought about those words for a moment. Adama was right, if it wasn't for Apollo's quick actions, the cylons would have detected Colonial One when she had refused to jump away. If it wasn't for Starbuck, shooting down the majority of the nukes heading for the Galactica during the initial attacks, no-one would be standing where there were today.
"…In honour of these achievements and services to the Colonies I am proud to announce posthumous promotions to both of these fine officers."
Adama walked up to the airlock where two empty coffins lay draped in Colonial flags. He placed the new insignia pins on top of each of them, bowed his head and then rejoined the crew.
He nodded to Karl who then walked slowly out of the ranks and stood behind the lectern.
Karl took a deep breath before he began to speak, "Kara Thrace was one of the most vivacious, courageous and committed individuals I have ever known. She was also the best and craziest pilot I have ever known, the best triad player and would leave most people for dust on a Pyramid court. But most importantly she was the best friend I have ever known. Most people did not get the opportunity to know Kara as well as I did. And even I did not know her as much as I thought I did. She was a private person for reasons of her own. To me she will always be the friend who relinquished the opportunity to walk off her demerits, so she could help me pass the final basic flight exam. The friend to whom I made the promise that I would take to my own grave, the true story of how she got her call sign. I will always regret not getting to know the part of her that I saw on Caprica, the woman who had painted canvas after canvas and listened to recordings of her father's piano music. And I will take this regret with me for the rest of my life."
Karl took a few moments before he walked with his head bowed to Kara's coffin and placed her wings on top. When he returned to his place Adama took his turn to walk to the lectern.
"There are an infinite number of words to say about my son and not enough time to say them. I would gladly stand here forever and recite all of them, but it would still not be enough. I once said that we each have to live with the things that we have done. I will always live with the knowledge that I let my son down, let him down throughout his entire life. He was a son who would make any father proud, but I was a lousy father who was never there. I did not embrace how special Lee was to me, until he was gone and it was too late. I will always cherish the time I had with my son and take this with me until the day that I draw my last breath."
Adama found that he couldn't say anymore. He placed Lee's wings on top of his empty coffin, placing a hand warmly over them for a moment. But he found that he couldn't leave, the sorrow gripping him like a vice. Roslin gently walked over and took his hand in hers and guided him slowly back to his place in the procession.
The Chaplin then stood forward to make his final address, "The burdens of this life are with us but a short time. For Major Lee Adama and Captain Kara Thrace the time was too short, but we take comfort in knowing their lives were willingly given in service to all of us. We honour them for that. And thus, it falls upon us to repent our sins and with the help of the lords of Kobol, make our own lives worthy of that gift. And now, we commit their spirits to the stars secure in the knowledge that we will be reunited with them, in a better world to come. So say we all."
The rest of the procession shouted, "So say we all" in unison and then saluted as the airlock doors slowly closed, shutting out the coffins.
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After the funeral Adama sat alone at his desk with two files open in front of him. The top of each file contained Kara and Lee's official photograph. They were both in flight suits and looking serious.
Unfortunately it was the job of the ship's commanding officer to close the files of any deceased crew members.
Adama looked through their files, musing at the differences between them. They were both highly praised officers and pilots; however Kara's file was marred by a number of disciplinary measures and one Court Martial. Lee had no blemishes on his record but he also did not have as many commendatory reports. Kara's file in comparison contained numerous acclamations for bravery and excellence from before and after the attacks on the Colonies. Lee only had one commendation and that was from after the attacks, when he had led the assault on the cylon refinery.
Their individual assessments were also very different. Kara was described as being one of the most natural pilots ever to pass through the academy. Adama felt the report to be a disservice to her; he knew that she was the most natural pilot ever in the history of the Twelve Colonies. Lee was described as being a gifted, by the book pilot; however he did not display a natural or passionate flare when he was in the air. Again Adama thought this assessment was way off the mark. Lee had proven time and time again that he was more than just a by-the-book pilot.
Despite their differences each file stated that both pilots would make fine officers and natural leaders, who would go far in the military.
The tears pooled in Adama's eyes as he added the last entries to their files. Underneath the date of their disappearance he simply wrote three small words:
"Killed in Action"
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The fleet moved on gradually in the two weeks following the funeral. They were finally back along their path to Earth and the moral throughout the fleet was growing day by day.
A week after the funeral Billy had found Roslin slumped at her desk and she was rushed to the Galactica.
Everyone thought that they were going to lose her. Fortunately Baltar proved why he was known as one of the leading minds from the Colonies. He had saved her using the foetal blood from Sharon's baby. Roslin, who had ordered the termination of the pregnancy previously, was injected with the blood. It had killed off the cancerous cells invading her tired body.
Roslin did not know what to feel about the unborn baby that had saved her life. All she knew was that the child could not stay with Sharon, if it was ever born.
What made it harder for her to focus was a lack of sleep. Since being released from the life-station she had been tossing and turning all night as images kept swarming around her mind.
She saw bright white lights enveloping her as she walked through the stark opera house. The light hurt her eyes as she walked through a set of doors leading to rows of chairs facing the stage. She walked down the aisle slowly, eventually reaching the stage and then the small staircase leading up to the stage. When she reached the top there was a woman sitting on the stage, dressed in a white gown with golden hair cascading around her shoulders. Roslin walked towards the woman but before she reached her the woman stood and walked away. Roslin found herself shouting out for her to stop, but it was too late, the woman disappeared into the light.
Roslin awokesuddenly from her dream. She sighed heavily; it was the third time that week that she had had the same dream. Every time she had climbed onto the stage in the attempt to reach the woman only to have her walk away.
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Since the funeral Karl had spent every evening he had spare down in the brig with Sharon. She was now five months pregnant and her stomach was really beginning to swell gently.
Karl wished that he could be on the other side of the glass so he could he feel his baby girl kicking. But he was restricted to using the phone.
"It's not too much longer until she is with us," he said gently down the phone.
"If they let her," replied Sharon sourly.
"I told you, that is not an issue any more. The President has said that the pregnancy can continue, she won't order a termination again. Our little girl saved her life."
"And then what? Will they let her stay with me or will I only get to see her grow up from behind a pane of glass?"
"We'll cross that bridge when it comes. For now I want you to concentrate on keeping her safe and well. The doctor said that you need to stay relaxed."
Relaxing was easier said then done when every day she worried that the President would change her mind. Sharon had even expected to be thrown out of the airlock when Apollo and Starbuck disappeared.
"How is life as the CAG going?" Sharon asked with as much spirit as she could muster.
"Hard, especially when hardly any of the pilots want you to be in the same room as them."
"Because you got a cylon pregnant," stated Sharon matter-of-factly.
"Hey, I don't give a frak what they think. I love you."
"I know."
"Things will get better, I promise."
"So what else is happening? I don't get to hear any news about the fleet down here."
"Nothing much, just the usual daily CAPs and attempting to train up new pilots, without a qualified flight instructor. It's hard going; I don't know how Starbuck did it. No-one else can seem to get the nuggets to fly straight let alone perform combat manoeuvres. The Chief has been experimenting. One evening he just decided to start building a new viper."
"How's it coming along?"
"Not too badly, when I saw it yesterday it was even starting to look like a ship."
"Time's up Sir," said a marine from the other side of the brig. Karl turned his head and nodded to the corporal.
"I've got to go," he said as he held his hand up to the glass as Sharon did the same. "I love you."
"I love you too," replied Sharon.
Sharon stayed at the glass until Karl had left and then she went back to her solitary bed in the middle of the room. Corporal Jones had allowed an extra five minutes to Karl's visit. He was Sharon's favourite prison guard. It wasn't like he was a friend to her, but at least he didn't make her feel that at any moment he would open up her cell and shoot her in the chest. He also allowed Karl to stay a bit longer on his visits.
Sharon settled down on her cot and stared up at the ceiling. She thought about Karl. He was still sad about losing Starbuck. Sharon knew that they had been friends for years and felt a pang of jealousy about the bond they had shared. She had not shared her thoughts, that she did not believe Apollo and Starbuck were dead, with Karl.
Ever since they had disappeared she had been haunted by dreams of them. In the dreams she was desperately trying to reach out for them but they would suddenly disappear. Sharon would then hear a strange sound, like the crying out of a baby. It was always when the crying started that she would wake up.
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The next morning began as normal for Karl. He woke up and had a shower, wary of the other officers who avoided him in the head. He then got dressed into his dress blues, as he wasn't due for CAP until 1500 hours and headed for the ready room.
The pilots were waiting for him, but they did not stand as he entered. Karl had decided weeks ago to ignore this lack of military etiquette.
Unfortunately Karl didn't have a chance to start his morning briefing before the alarms sounded throughout the ship, closely followed by a voice over the comm system.
"Action stations, action stations, set condition one throughout the ship."
"You heard him, get your asses down to the hangar deck now," ordered Karl.
As the ready room rapidly emptied, Karl also exited the room and made his way quickly to the CIC. As ever, when action stations were declared, the CIC was alive with commotion.
Gaeta could be heard shouting across the room, "Sir, the baseship just jumped back into the system, still no sign of any raiders being launched."
"What's she doing?" Adama asked to no-one in particular.
"Sir, all alert pilots are making their way down to the hangar now," said Karl as he walked up to Adama. "They should be in the tubes within five minutes."
"We're not sure if there is going to be anything to frakking shoot at yet," said Tigh.
"What's going on?"
"A Baseship keeps jumping in and out of the system. So far she hasn't launched any raiders or any sort of attack on the fleet," replied Adama.
"Sir," interrupted Gaeta. "The baseship has disappeared again."
"Frakking cylons," muttered Tigh as he continued to gaze at the dradis screens.
"Sir, it's jumped back again," said Gaeta shaking his head.
"Galactica, this is Kat do you copy?" A voice stated over the comm system.
Adama moved to the phone and picked up the receiver, "Kat this is Galactica, what do you have?"
"Galactica, Kat, this baseship is acting weird. She looks like she is listing out of control."
"Any signs of an attack?"
"Negative Sir, looks like no-one is at the controls. Hold on, Galactica she's launching raiders, I repeat we have inbound raiders."
"All vipers engage the raiders. Mr Gaeta have the fleet prepared for an emergency jump."
The CIC watched as their viper squadrons neared the baseship. They looked on in apprehension as the blips representing the raiders suddenly stopped and seemingly changed direction.
"Galactica this is Kat. All raiders have disengaged. I repeat all raiders are flying erratically back towards the baseship."
"What the frak?" Exclaimed Tigh.
"Sir the raiders have disappeared off dradis," said Gaeta as he turned away from his dradis consol.
"Galactica, Kat. Half of the raiders just flew into the side of the baseship and have been destroyed."
"My gods," whispered Tigh.
"Kat this is Galactica," said Adama. "What else do you see?"
"We have reached the baseship, but she hasn't launched any more raiders or fired upon us yet. It's no longer listing out of control but it looks like she's drifting. Looks as if no-one is home, either that or they are all dead…Hang on Galactica. Two heavy raiders have launched from the baseship."
"Sir," said Gaeta. "I've got the heavy raiders on dradis…Scrap that, they've disappeared."
"Galactica this is Kat, the heavy raiders turned away from us and jumped away before we had a chance to engage."
"They're escaping from the baseship," stated Adama.
"But from what? And why?" Asked Tigh.
They both stared at the dradis consol for a minute before Adama spoke, "Helo, I want you to assemble a team of marines. I want to know what is happening on that ship."
"Yes Sir," said Karl and then saluted.
"Helo, any signs that there are cylons still active on that ship, you are to evacuate and report back immediately. I want all my soldiers back in one piece."
Karl nodded his assent and then exited the CIC, heading towards the hangar deck. Within fifteen minutes three raptors containing a contingent of marines exited Galactica's flight pod and headed towards the baseship.
There were no signs of life coming from the ship as the raptors neared her. Inert raiders drifted into one another causing them to ricochet in different directions. Debris floated around everywhere, colliding gently with the raptors as they made their way.
Karl had no idea what was going on, but it seemed to him as if someone had just come up and pulled out the plug...
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