Chapter Eleven

Eyes watched Beth as she opened up the office in the morning. She shivered and looked round, but didn't see anything or anyone as she continued up the stairs. Albert had arrived early this morning to watch Beth. He had been enraged after his confrontation with Lady Dalton. Albert wanted to check what time Beth came and went from her office and make a plan, to catch Beth on her own, away from the influence of her boss. He touched his bruised ribs and winced. She had just been lucky to catch him out like that. 'For a woman to speak to him the way she did and to give him orders!' He took no instructions from a woman, especially one as unnatural as her.

His anger had been growing since yesterday but he had finally snapped when he turned up at work this morning only to be called into the manager's office. Albert looked like a raccoon, his face black and blue and his nose off at an angle. He hadn't wanted to go to the doctor to get it fixed incase questions were asked.

"What happened to your face Albert?" his manager asked.

"I was jumped by a couple of thugs after work, they stole my wallet." Albert shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"That's not how Lady Dalton tells it. She telephoned me this morning to tell me you were harassing one of her employees."

Alex had found out from Beth that he was a local trainee draughtsman and made a few calls to the architectural firms nearby till she found the right one.

Albert lost it. "Look at what that bitch did to me! An unprovoked attack!"

"Lady Dalton says she had to pull you off the young woman and restrain you, I'm sure that's where you got your injuries. I would have done the very same thing if I had caught you doing that. You're just lucky she didn't call a policeman. You can consider yourself sacked Albert and don't even think of asking for references. Our firm cannot afford to anger Lady Dalton. She has influence far and wide, a well-placed word from her to the local council or Government and we could forget about winning anymore public contracts. That is all Albert, gather your things and you will be escorted from the building."

"You can't listen to that bitch!" he screamed.

The manager pressed the buzzer on his desk and a security guard came in.

"I would thank you to keep a civil tongue in your head! See Mr. Pincher out please Samuel."

"I won't forget this. You pansy! You would follow the orders of a woman!" he spat.

The security guard grabbed his arm and pulled him out the office.

These events had brought him to watching the building. Alex had ruined him. He had not only lost his job, but had very little hope of getting another one without references. He intended to take payment back in full from Beth's body. He smiled at the thought of Alex coming into the office to find the whore's body broken and used and only he would ever take that body the way the unnatural bitch wanted to. 'All this could have been avoided if that whore had just done as she was told, he thought. I must be calm and wait for exactly the right moment.' He slinked back into the shadows.

Alex came into the office the next morning hoping to find Beth in a much calmer state.

"Good morning, how are we today?"

"I'm much better thank you. He would be a fool to risk your wrath again." Beth smiled.

"Don't you worry anymore. I'll always be with you when I'm needed and that's a promise little bit. Well we better get some work done before you go flouncing off to the shops this afternoon!"

Beth laughed and saluted. "Yes, My Lord!"

The afternoon found Beth and Agnes in a small charity shop in east London. They had been through rails and rails of dresses. They had seen a few that looked suitable and they had put them aside.

"I think you should try on what we've got so far Beth or you'll find yourself overwhelmed with choices."

"Perhaps you're right Agnes"

She tried on the first and came out from behind the curtain. Agnes just looked and smiled.

"You don't have to say it. I know, too frumpy. It's like something my grandmother would wear! We may be here some time."

She went through another three, but all had one small thing or another that made them unsuitable. Beth took the last dress off the hanger. She looked at the label inside and was amazed to find it was a Christian Dior. Beth had always read eagerly about fashion from the various celebrity and society magazines. She recognised this simple black dress as a Christian Dior 'new look' dress. A less austere style than dresses designed during the war years. It was sleeveless with a velvet bodice and ruche taffeta skirt. She hoped it wouldn't fit too badly as she really liked it. Beth slowly stepped into the dress and couldn't believe it fit her like a glove. She stepped out of the changing cubicle and Agnes stood and held her hand to her mouth.

"Oh my! You look absolutely wonderful! Every inch the lady about town." Agnes stepped closer to check the fit. "It fits perfectly. What do you think, my dear?"

"I love it! This is it. This is my dress. I just know it! I'll take it."

Beth changed and paid for the dress. They went to find a shop with costume jewellery to add to the glamour of the gown. Beth returned home delighted with her purchases. She felt much more confident at attending Lotty's dinner party.

'I hope I get the chance to speak to Lotty privately. Maybe she can help me understand some of these feelings.'

The next few days passed without much incident which made a pleasant change, although Beth did have a strange feeling when she opened up in the mornings. Evenings were fine because Alex had taken to leaving with her and driving her home. They had arranged on Friday that Alex would pick her up at half past seven, as they were dining at eight. Alex arrived very promptly decked out in her black dinner suit. Again, Alex had brought flowers for her, hoping to make it feel like more like a date. She was shown to the parlour and Agnes thought she would indulge in a bit of meddling.

"Alex, I wondered if you knew it was Beth's birthday next week? I don't mean to interfere or anything. I just thought, well she won't tell you and you would be annoyed if it past without you knowing. It's December the 5th.."

"Thank you, Agnes. I'm delighted you told me. She deserves the best and I'll make sure she has a wonderful birthday."

Alex stood as Beth walked in. "Beth, you look absolutely stunning! Words fail me." If she didn't know better! Alex would never in a million years have known that dress was second hand. The young woman had natural class that oozed from her.

Beth blushed. "Thank you Alex, you look rather dashing yourself."

"Well if we're ready, shall we go?"

"Yes, I may be late Agnes." Beth said as she took Alex's arm.

"That's fine my dear. You enjoy yourself."

When Alex escorted her outside Beth didn't see the familiar red Jaguar sports car, but a large black Bentley motor car. The back door was been held open by a chauffeur in the full grey uniform and hat to match.

"Good evening Miss," he said as he dipped his head.

"Beth, I'd like you to meet my driver Alfie."

"Pleased to meet you Alfie, thank you for taking us this evening."

Alex just melted inside. This young woman had such charm. To thank the driver was just adorable.

The tall woman helped her into the back seat. The inside was luxurious, leather upholstered seats that you just sank into.

"Why no Jaguar tonight, Alex?"

"I wanted this evening to be special for you. I wanted you to go in style and of course, it means I get to spend more time with you."

Beth realised something at that moment. Was Alex was courting her? It really felt like it. She just knew it and the feeling was wonderful. The car came to a stop and the door opened for them. Alex got out first and took Beth's hand to help her out. When the young girl looked up at the building in front of her, her mouth dropped open. "Is this Poni's house?"

"Yes, it's nice isn't it?"

"Nice? Alex it takes up half the street!"

"The grounds are quite extensive at the back as well; it's quite an exclusive part of London."

"And your family home that you turned over to the Foundation was like this?"

"Very similar, it gives us a lot of room to do the things we want for the disadvantaged."

Beth was astonished. She had known Alex was rich but had never really taken in how rich. If Alex had a house like this and a large country estate then her wealth must be immense. How could she ever hope to be good enough for Alex and her friends?

Alex saw the look of doubt that went across Beth's face and went to reassure her and placed her hand on Beth's cheek. "We may be used to different styles of living Beth but were still the same friends you made. Please relax and enjoy the evening. With your class and style you could be at home in a palace or a tenement flat."

Beth calmed a bit. "Thank you, it's just so grand."

"Shall we?"

They walked up to the huge front door past large stone pillars that went from pavement to roof. The door was opened and a butler said. "Ah! Lord Dalton, please do come in."

Once they were through the door Beth looked around the hall of the house. She was mesmerised by the tall pillars, magnificent spiral staircase, high ceilings and chandeliers everywhere. The butler took their coats and directed them into the drawing room. Poni and Lotty were waiting for them. Poni was dressed in a dinner suit, the same as Alex, and Lotty was wearing, an over one shoulder bronze coloured dress. They greeted each other with kisses and were seated.

"It's so wonderful to have you both here." Lotty said beaming.

A young servant was bringing round champagne flutes served on a silver platter. The male servants were dressed in suits with tails, highly starched shirts with traditional yellow and black striped waistcoats while the maids wore traditional black and white with white caps.

"Bollinger and an excellent vintage. I see you got the good champagne out for us" Alex joked.

"Well we thought we had better since Beth was coming. We usually just have the cheap stuff for you, old friend." They laughed.

"Ignore them Beth, their always like this, a couple of children in the playground!"

As they laughed, a matronly looking woman popped her head round the door.

"Is this a convenient moment Ma'am?"

"Oh of course Nanny Brooks. Come in. I asked Nanny to bring Kat down to see you for a few minutes before bed."

Nanny Brooks came in carrying the little blonde headed girl. As soon as the girl saw Poni and Alex, she was straining to get to them.

"Papi! Papi! up?"

The little girl had come up with the name herself as soon as she started talking, putting Poni and Papa together.

Poni scooped up the girl into her arms.

"Come here little kitten. Have you got a kiss for Alex?"

The girl nodded enthusiastically, puckering up her lips. "wix!" Kat affectionately called her.

"Good evening young kitten. I see you got the little present I left for you?" Alex pointed to the toy cat, that the girl was holding and tickled her sides.

"Cat!" she said giggling.

Lotty came over and took hold of her little girl.

"Enough Alex, or nanny Brooks will never get her to settle.

"Mamma." Kat said snuggling into her Mother.

"Now Kitten, Do you remember Mama's friend we met at the park?" The little girl nodded.

"Hello Kat, it's nice to see you again. I had a lovely time at the park with you. Do you think next time we could take Alex with us? She would love to play with us."

Kat clapped her hands. "Wix come! Wix come!"

"I couldn't think of anything nicer." Alex said smiling. "We should all take a picnic at the first sign of spring."

"All right now. Give Beth a kiss and say goodnight to everyone."

"Ni Ni!" The little girl said as Lotty passed her daughter to the nanny.

"Goodnight Kitten." The group replied.

Poni walked over to give her daughter a kiss on her blonde head.

"Sleep tight my little kitten."

"Ni Papi."

Beth sighed at the look complete adoration on Poni's face for her little girl. Alex also seemed to adore her.

'I wonder if that's something Alex would like.'

She didn't have long to ponder the thought before she was interrupted by Alex handing her more champagne.

The night was progressing marvelously. Poni and Lotty couldn't have made her feel any more at home. They embarrassed Alex by telling Beth some of the tales of her growing up. She certainly had been a tomboy and a scamp. The young woman had never laughed so much in her life. Poni and Alex together were a sight to be seen.

Alex was like a different person around her two friends, her defences were down and she was happy. They had caught each other giving looks all evening, and during dinner Alex had tested the water by covering Beth's hand with her own between courses while continuing talking to Poni about the upcoming hunting season. Beth had not flinched the first time Alex had held her hand. Her heart was racing. Alex was being so attentive, always making sure her glass was full and she had everything she needed. She was being swept way on a dream with her very own Mr. Darcy.

The dinner was wonderful and Beth had never eaten food like it, having been brought up on rations. There was a new wine with every course and an abundance of food. She wondered how Lotty could provide such a magnificent meal on rations, but guessed money could buy anything. Halfway through Alex had suggested she switch to water when she had complained of feeling a little dizzy.

After dinner they retired to the drawing room again and Poni poured them some brandy. Since she felt a little clearer minded Beth took a small one. When Poni went to open the cigar box and offered Alex one Lotty interrupted, "If you two are going to smoke those smelly things then why don't the pair of you go in to the billiard room, so Beth and I can have a good gossip without you two big numbskulls listening in?"

"Excellent idea my sweet wife." Poni said excitedly at the prospect at beating Alex at snooker.

"Would you mind, Beth?" Alex asked politely.

"Of course not Alex. Enjoy yourself. I wanted to have a gossip with Lotty anyway."

Alex stood and took her hand and kissed it.

"Very well, excuse me."

When they were finally alone Lotty said, "I could hardly wait to get you alone. Alex seems very attentive to you tonight."

"I hoped to talk to you Lotty. For a while, well to tell you the truth since I first met Alex, I've had these growing feelings for her. I've struggled to understand them."

"Tell me what they feel like my dear."

"Well if Alex is near, touches me, or I just hear her low Smokey voice, my heart races, my stomach clenches, and I feel a very warm feeling much lower down." She said blushing.

"Don't not be shy, you are my best friend now Beth, there's nothing you can't tell me. I haven't really had many girlfriends in my life to confide in. You know what I mean, like us? Poni and Alex aren't exactly the type for this sort of chat. I wasn't born to this you know. I had a normal middle class upbringing. My father was a teacher and my mother looked after me at home. When I was eighteen I went to a charity event to raise money for the Dalton Foundation. At the time they were trying to raise money for families, and orphans were who were disadvantaged, because of the nightly bombings or losing fathers and husbands in the fighting. When I was there I saw these extraordinary looking women, handsome women dressed in their Women's Royal Air Force uniforms. I later found out they were both officers working in Intelligence for the RAF. They were different though from the other women I had seen in uniform. They wore trousers instead of skirts which was unusual. They had influence even then. I looked over to one in particular very often.

Poni was the most amazing person I'd ever seen. She was a woman but strong and muscular. There was something about her that made me feel the things you have described. I couldn't understand it. How could I feel those things for a woman? I'd stepped out with young men before and never felt anything, and I'd never felt that for any other woman, but I had to conclude it was this special type of woman that attracted me. It was the soft and romantic heart of a woman, but with the build, dress, and sensibilities of a man."

"She must have seen me looking at her for she came over and introduced herself, then asked me to dance. I tell you I have never felt anything like dancing in her arms that night. I felt protected, warm, and respected. No one said a word about us dancing closely together, you know what those two are like, a force of nature! No one would have dared. She was a perfect gentleman but a woman. I had no one to guide me as to how I felt."

"She introduced me to Alex and she was wonderful as well. I didn't feel that spark with her, but I understood I was attracted to this type of woman, and I had never known because I had never met any before. There are many others out there and we meet at clubs and parties, but very few have the power to live that life every day. Most go to work as secretaries in dresses and high heels five days a week then get to change into their real selves, suited and booted at the weekend at the various clubs and house parties. Of course, there are the women like me and, I am beginning to think you, who love them.

"Poni and I started stepping out together and we spent a lot of time with Alex and I became to see her as a beloved friend. It was not easy coming into this life of money and grand houses. I did not think I could fit in, but Alex and Poni are not like other rich people. They are down to earth and only place importance on money when it can be used to help others. Of course, they all enjoy fine things, but I think they find they can only do that in good conscience by helping others.

"I fell in love with that big oaf I think as soon as I saw her. She treated me like a princess and only two months later she proposed marriage. We could not be married in the eyes of the law, but we were married in our hearts and in the eyes of our friends and god. I have been blissfully happy ever since."

"That's such a romantic story Lotty, anyone who observes you and Poni can see you were meant for each other."

"I have this experience to share with you and I will help you find your place in this life if that's what you choose. I see in your eyes such love when you look at Alex and I see it in her eyes as well. You have only to admit it to each other."

"Would it be too forward to ask how you came to adopt little Kat?"

"Of course not. I attend Dalton House as often as I can, to help out and such like. I'm not a nurse by any means, but I'm not frightened of hard work and I can change beds, help some of girls with baths and help with the little ones. I'm sure Alex has told you, the foundation gets a lot of young expectant mothers?"

Beth nodded.

"Well I was helping a lot with a young girl who came in, Kathryn Miller, her name was. She was barley Sixteen and her parents had thrown her out when she became pregnant. The poor thing was terrified but I went in to sit with her everyday and she came to trust me, although she wouldn't tell me how she became pregnant, but however it happened the thoughts terrified her."

"That's heartbreaking. So what happened?"

"Well she asked me if I would be with her when the time came and of course I was. The birth was extremely difficult for her. She had internal bleeding. The doctors thought she had suffered injuries when the baby was conceived which hadn't healed properly."

Lotty eyes went glassy as she seemed to be pulled back to that time.

"I'm so scared Miss Lotty. Help me Please!"

Lotty was on her knees at the side of Kathryn's bed. The young girls blonde hair was stuck to her head with sweat.

The baby had just been delivered and was screaming in the back ground but the sheets were covered in blood, the midwife and doctor just couldn't get it to stop.

Lotty stroked her head and kissed her clasped hand.

"Shush. It'll be all right. Try and stay calm."

Lotty looked up in desperation at the doctor who simply shook his head in resignation.

Her tears wouldn't be held back any longer and she said. "Bring the baby over and let Kathryn hold her."

The baby was lain on Kathryn's chest with support from Lotty. "She's so beautiful." Kathryn said as she stroked the baby's head.

"I'm going to die aint I Miss?"

Lotty's heart broke as she met the girl's eyes and nodded her head. "I'm so sorry Kathryn, I'm sorry we couldn't do more." Lotty struggled to speak as her tears engulfed her.

The girl seemed to calm and said. "It's all right Miss. You were so good to me, thank you for looking after me. At least I did one good thing with my life. I brought this beautiful gift from God into this world.

Can I ask you just one thing Miss?"

"Anything! Anything!"

"Please take my baby. I don't want her to have the life I've had."

"What about your family? What if they..."

"No Miss please! Don't let them know about her! Agh! It's getting cold. Please. Ms Woodward and you are such good people, you would give her a wonderful family. Promise me."

Lotty pulled herself together. She knew Poni would approve, they had often spoken of a wish for children.

"I swear to you Kathryn. We will adopt her and give her the most wonderful life we possibly can, and we'll tell her what a wonder Mother she had and how much you gave for her and loved her. She'll never know the poverty you have felt and she will be surrounded with love."

"Ugh! so cold. Doctor?"

The elderly doctor came over and took her hand.

"Yes my dear?"

"You are my witness Sir, I want Miss Lotty and Ms Woodward to have my baby." The girl was struggling for breath.

"Of course. Rest easy now."

"Cough! Cough! Miss? call he..."

"What is it? What are you trying to say?"

C...all her Kathryn."

"We will. I promise you."

The young girl stroked her baby's head once more. "L...ove y...ou Kathryn..."

"And then she was gone."

Lotty came back to the present, the tears were streaming down both the women's faces.

"Oh Lotty, I can't believe you had to go through that and a young girl had to die without her family around her. No matter what my daughter did I could never do that. I'm glad she had you, and at least little kitten has Poni and yourself."

"Yes, we are very happy and Poni simply worships the ground she toddles on." The two women laughed as they wiped away their tears.

"Did her family ever get in touch?"

"Poni and Alex went to their house. Poni was concerned that they might challenge our right to Kitten if they found out we were wealthy.

I don't know what they did or said but when they came back, they had a signed letter giving up any rights they had and we legally adopted her.

Those two can be quite persuasive when they want something done."

"I can imagine. Was Kathryn the families only child?"

"No she had a brother but from what Poni told me, they weren't too concerned about what had happened to her, just what they could get out of it. I believe the father has died since. I've no idea what became of the Mother and Brother and the Father of Kitten? We'll never know. I think that's best."

"Well you have a perfect little girl. She is so pretty."

"Thank you. Now tell me. What do you feel for our Lord Dalton? Do you love her?"

"I think I do love Alex, but how can I know if she feels the same way? I would hate to be wrong and lose her friendship, she means everything to me. Tonight it felt like she was courting me from the moment she picked me up, but why won't she say anything? She is much more experienced than me in these matters."

"That's where your wrong my young friend. Alex has never been in love. I don't mean she has no experience with women but she has never loved. She has been so hurt in her life Beth. Lotty described Alex's parents and what had happened to them.

Her parents being taken from her almost killed her. She pulled herself away from everyone except Poni and myself and vowed she would never open her heart to anyone so it could never be broken. Then you come along and smash through the walls she had built and she was terrified. Still is, but I'll tell you a secret. She confided to Poni she was ready to make that leap, but because of the age gap between the two of you, and because you had never loved a woman before, Alex decided she would court you quietly and not make the first move, in case you felt forced into it in some way. By courting you it also gives you the chance to back away gracefully. You will have to go to her if you want this. She told Poni 'If she comes to me I will give her everything.'

Beth was a little overwhelmed. "I love her Lotty and I will take care of her heart, but I have never been with a woman before. There are better choices for her out there."

"Beth, it's you she wants. May I suggest you tell her how you feel and continue your courtship, slowly learning to be with each other."

"Yes that sounds like a great idea. Thank you so much for your help and your friendship."

"I will always be here for you Beth. With those numbskulls to keep out of trouble, I think we will need each other. Now, how would you like to have some fun with them?"

They hatched their plan together.

Meanwhile in the billiard room, which was a large oak paneled room with a large snooker table dominating the space, Poni was pouring Alex another whiskey while she took her shot at the table, their cigars burning in the ash tray on the drinks table. They had taken their dinner jackets off and were now down to their waistcoats. Poni brought Alex's whiskey over as she sunk another ball.

"Do you have to be good at everything Alex?"

"I can't help it if I'm naturally gifted!" she smirked.

"So how goes it with the courting of your Elizabeth?"

"I'm being the perfect gentleman without being over bearing. I hope she catches the drift and tells me how she feels."

"I'm sure she will." said Poni as she missed her shot. "Damn and blast!"

Alex laughed and went to take her shot.

"I've seen the way she has looked at you all evening and you as well, making big puppy dog eyes at her!"

"Shut up you broken down old nag! What do you think their talking about in there?"

"If I know my wife and I do, plotting our doom no doubt!"

They laughed.

"But what a way to go Poni! Eh?"

Just at that the games room door opened and their ladies came in.

"What can I do for you my sweet wife? Were you missing us too much?"

"No not at all Poni boy. Beth and I just thought we'd like to learn how to play snooker and who better to teach us."

Alex and Poni looked at each other, smelling a rat, Alex quirked an eyebrow.

"If you like," said Poni suspiciously.

"Well I think the best way to learn would be to play so Poni and I against Alex and Beth"

Beth smirked. They had decided to drive their respective loves to distraction.

Alex gave Beth the cue and smiled. "This should be fun."

"Spending time with you is always fun."

"Ok, you two can break," Poni said.

She was standing behind her wife with her arms around Lotty's waist, giving her neck little kisses.

"Should I break Alex?"

"Yes, go for it little bit."

Beth bent over the top of the Snooker table making a hash of holding the cue and of trying to take the shot.

"Could you help me Alex? Show me what to do?" She asked demurely batting her eyelashes.

Alex was over there in a flash, like a dog with its tongue hanging out.

"Of course. Will you allow me to place my hands on you?" She asked in a gentlemanly manner.

"Yes." Beth said sweetly.

"Okay, bend over the table and hold the cue. I'll come up behind you and guide your hands."

Beth nodded. When Alex draped herself over Beth she realised what the two women were up to. She moved further forward to take the girl's hands and show her how she should hold the cue, her head resting in the crook of Beth's neck. Alex had to stop herself from moaning as her lips brushed Beth's neck and she inhaled her perfume. Beth pushed her bottom further into Alex's crotch when she felt the touch to her neck. Alex was instantly wet and throbbing. This game of snooker was going to be torture.

Beth was having similar problems. The touch of Alex's lips and the feel of her weight across her bottom and back made her ache for things she couldn't put a name to. Poni and Lotty were playfully kissing as while Beth and Alex took their shot, and so the game continued until finally Alex cleared the last ball.

She turned to Beth and said. "Well ... eh ... that was fun?"

"Yes, quite illuminating." She said huskily.

"I think we should call it a night, what do you think?"

Alex pointed over at Poni and Lotty who were consumed with each other.

"Yes, I'm very tired now."

They interrupted their two hosts and thanked them for a wonderful evening. Once out in the car Alex took Beth's hand and asked, "How would you like to have a walk round Hyde Park tomorrow? Maybe get an ice cream or something like that?"

"I'd love to Alex. I haven't been there yet."

The car stopped and Alex helped her out. "Thank you for your company this evening little bit and I shall see you tomorrow," she said as she kissed Beth's hand.

"I had a wonderful time Alex, thank you. I'll look forward to tomorrow." The young blonde making a quick decision went up on her tip toes and gave Alex a quick kiss on the lips. "Good night Alex." She said moving fast inside the house so as not to leave Alex time to say anything.

Alex was left on the pavement touching her fingers to her lips were Beth's had touched them. She them broke out in a huge smile and jumped into the back of the car. "Take us home Alfie. I think I'm in for a big day tomorrow!"

Beth held one of the flowers from the bouquet Alex had given her and danced round the room. She was full of romance and joy. The evening had been wonderful. Alex had been simply amazing. Even though she was beginning to understand how she felt about her, the talk she had with Lotty had enabled the scales to finally fall from her eyes. She was in love with Alex! Deeply, hopelessly. It felt so liberating to even say it inside.

Beth had to tell Alex how she felt tomorrow, and hope Lotty was right that she returned those feelings. They may have only known each other a short time, but it could be a month or one year, it made no difference. She knew they were meant to be together. Beth looked up at the picture on her bedside table. It was of her father and herself, taken at the boat race celebrations at the university.

"Daddy, I've met someone. Alex is her name. She is the most wonderful, kind person I have ever met. She lives her life in the service of others. I know that probably my being in love with a woman isn't what you would most want for me, but I think you would have liked her. I hope wherever you are you know that this is the right thing for me." She kissed her father's picture and went to bed happier than she had for a long, long time.