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Chapter 11
A couple of days go past, and just as suddenly, its Friday, the day before the weekend. I haven't heard from Christian for the rest of the week- not even a single text message- after meeting him after school and asking those questions I needed to ask.
At least he had answered them though, and had seemed sincere. It's like a load off my back, not having to worry so much that he may already be involved with someone, that that was why he mainly suggested we keep this thing between us in private in the first place. I'll blame Kate for planting those seeds of doubt in my head, but when I look back on it, I suppose Kate was only being a good, caring friend- if brutally honest- with making me realize what I should be asking.
I've been checking my phone in case he has texted me incessantly every hour of the day, only to be quickly disappointed in learning he still hasn't texted. Some part of me is worried I've turned him off for good after having asked him those questions - about whether he was already involved with someone else, or married, even. Whenever I start mustering up the courage to text him first, either my mother will appear in the room or I'll be at school and I'll be distracted with all the assignments and work I have to get complete. Just when I'm becoming too desperate, at last I hear something from him, after dinner, at about 8.30 in the evening while I'm sitting on the couch watching TV with Mom:
Sorry, you haven't heard from me. I've been incredibly busy working.
What are you doing tomorrow?
I have to suppress the very relieved smile that comes across my face when I notice my mother's head turn into my direction curiously.
"It's just Kate texting," I tell Mom automatically, though I can't quite meet her gaze. "I think she wants to do something tomorrow. Probably go to the mall or see a movie. Are we doing anything tomorrow, Mom? Did you want to do anything?"
I still feel terrible and ill with guilt because of lying to her. It hasn't gotten any easier at all.
She stares at me for a moment with narrowed eyes, thinking deeply. Then she makes a dismissive grunting noise. "Not any plans that I know of, honey. We have nothing on the agenda, not really. I was going to meet Bob tomorrow, though. I believe he wanted to go for a drive with me. That okay with you?"
I've heard Mom sometimes upstairs in her room, talking to Bob on the phone during the late hours of the evening. I could hear her laughing or chattering excitedly to him. I'm so glad she's finally found a man that seems to make her feel so positive and happy. I still don't get why she insists on asking for my permission, seeing as she's practically the adult here, not the daughter.
"Mom, are you seriously asking for my permission on whether you and Bob can go driving together on a Saturday?" I laugh out loud at the ridiculousness of it all, and Mom smiles a little in embarrassment.
"Of course not, honey. I wasn't asking for your permission. After all, shouldn't you be the one doing that?"
"Oh, touche. Then can I hang out with Kate in the mall tomorrow, seeing as its the weekend?" I blink at her innocently, doing my best angelic face because I know it'll get a laugh out of her.
"You and Kate seem to be spending an awful lot amount of time at the mall recently?" I feel my stomach churn with dread at her question. "What's been happening there? Why are you two suddenly such mall enthusiasts? Last time I checked, you hated shopping, Ana? There was a time there where I'd have to threaten to ground you in order to get you to try something on in the change room?"
"Well, I've changed," I say defensively. "People change, Mom. Maybe I'm more into clothes and the latest fashion now that I'm older?"
"Hmm, I suppose so," she agrees thoughtfully. "And yes, you may so long as you keep the hour you get home reasonable. I don't want you getting in too late."
A surge of annoyance rips through me. "Oh, come on, Mom," I groan in irritation. "It's the weekend. It isn't like I have to go to school the next day and, besides, I think I've been good enough lately that I deserve to stay out a little later than usual, don't I?" Or maybe I just don't want Christian finding me boring because I still have a curfew even at my age...
"Ten thirty then," Mom butts in, deadly serious. "You can stay out with Kate until ten thirty, but that's at the most latest. I hope you both know to keep yourselves safe, also. I don't want to hear from a police officer that you both have somehow gotten into trouble."
"Ten thirty," I agree, pleased. "Thank you. And there will be no phone calls from any police officers, I promise you!"
I pretend I need to go to the bathroom, shutting the door securely closed before leaning against the sink to type out my reply:
I'm available until a bit before ten thirty tomorrow. :)
Christian's reply comes barely two minutes later:
Great. I have a surprise for you.
He sends me another text after deciding a good meeting place, and then I flush the toilet, pretending to wash my hands under the tap in the sink before heading back out into the living room to where Mom is.
Great, so he does want to see me again. I hadn't screwed it up or turned him off in some way by asking those questions the way I had. Thank God.
When my alarm goes off the very next morning, I feel like I haven't slept at all. My eyes feel grainy and heavy, but I force myself to get up and make my bed before figuring out something pretty and neat to wear for my day with Christian. I've been so excited to see him that sleeping had became next to impossible. Even though I know there is at least three hours until we meet at our arranged place, I still feel all anxious and filled with anticipation to see him again.
I end up wearing a pair of black skinny leg jeans, one of my tops which is ruffled at the sleeves and a cream color, and my trust Converse trainers. When I get downstairs after putting on some make-up, I realize Bob is already here; I can hear him and my mother talking down in the kitchen.
Since I haven't spent much time with Bob, I really don't know what to think of him, as yet. All I know, is that he is being good to my mother, if her attitude lately is anything to go by. A man that can make my mother seem happy and as though she is unable to stop smiling immediately scores instant brownie points in my books.
"Hello Ana," Bob says amicably when I get downstairs, finding him and my mother at the table, drinking coffee. "Morning, honey," Mom says, an elbow resting on the table, her hand nursing her chin. Already, she's smiling widely at Bob.
"Morning," I say. "Are you guys all ready for the drive?"
"We are. We just thought we'd have a cup of coffee before we make a start," Mom says. "Bob actually was wondering if you needed a lift to the mall or anything, honey? Or we could drop you off at Kate's house, if that's easiest?"
"Um, no, it's okay," I assure her, trying to look normal. I have no idea whether I am actually being convincing or not, but Mom doesn't seem as though she is suspicious in any way. "Kate and I are meeting in a couple of hours. Thanks for the kind offer though, Bob."
Bob asks me a few trivial things, like what I'm doing at school. Then, finally, they get ready to leave. Mom slips on her tinted sunglasses and hugs me as I follow them out to Bob's car.
"You and Kate keep safe and out of any sort of trouble, okay?" she says in a voice filled with warning while Bob starts his black Jeep up. "And don't forget: Not a minute after ten thirty."
"Yes, Mom. I promise I won't forget. You and Bob have fun." I kiss her goodbye on the cheek, waving to them as the Jeep reverses out of the driveway. Once they have officially disappeared out of sight, I head back inside, gathering one of my handbags, shoving my wallet inside and slipping the leather strap over one shoulder before safely locking the house up.
As I start walking down the street, I can't help glancing around me nervously. I'd hate for Mom and Bob to somehow return to the house, spotting which direction I'm walking. I'm probably just being paranoid, but I can't help it. It's imperative my mother never finds out about this, because once she does... it will probably be the end of me and Christian spending time together.
So far, I have really enjoyed spending time with him. Every time I do, my nerves seem to disappear and I feel less self-conscious or that I'm going to screw it up or somehow say something wrong in front of him. I feel more comfortable around him and, also, maybe slightly... annoyed with how slow things are developing between us. We have only really kissed twice, and really, I would prefer it to happen so much more than it has. I don't know if he's making a conscious decision to be respectful and mindful of taking it slow with me, but I wish he wouldn't be.
It takes me about five minutes of a brisk walk to reach where he said to meet. I feel my heart sink when I notice there isn't a car already waiting for me. When I check the time on my phone, I see its exactly on the time he said to meet. He hasn't texted me either to tell me he has changed his mind. So where is he? Unless... he's changed his mind all of a sudden and intends to stand me up?
I don't know how I've turned into this desperate and foolish girl all of a sudden, but I assume it's what happens when you really like someone for the first time. My fears diminish the instance I spot his car gliding towards me. When it comes to a halt beside me, the automatic window scrolls down, and there, he is. Christian.
"Sorry about the lateness, Ana. Things didn't go so according to plan but its fine now."
When I nod and get in after he opens the door for me, moving back in his seat, he runs a hand through his hair while watching me buckle up. "How have you been since I last saw you?" he asks gently.
"I've been okay. How have you been, Christian?"
"Busy." He sighs loudly, frustration on his face. "I couldn't contact you for a while after last seeing you. Work has been hectic."
"I understand. It's fine." I smile tightly. "So, I hear you have a surprise for me?"
"I do, that's right."
"What kind of surprise?"
"Well, I can't exactly tell you, can I?" He smiles, that frustration suddenly evaporating. When he smiles, it's impossible to believe he is almost thirty-years-old. "Otherwise, it won't be a surprise to you anymore. You'll see once we get there."
"Okay, but... put that way, it sounds very... ominous," I mutter, teasing him.
Christian laughs. "You'll see once we get there. Hopefully you'll enjoy it as much as I will."
"I'm sure I probably will."
The drive is short and before I know it, we've reached a large field of nothing but green grass. I think its an area where people usually play sports, but what I see directly in the middle of it, waiting for us, it makes my heart accelerate with nerves. It's a helicopter, the very last thing I was expecting to see. Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc. is written in blue on the side; a company logo probably for his company. This isn't the surprise he has in mind for me, is it?
When I throw a look Christian's way, I find him watching my reaction very attentively.
"Ana, I would like for you to meet Charlie Tango. He is very special to me, and I have never properly introduced him to someone before." He looks through the window past me into the direction of the lone helicopter in the field again, his eyes glimmering with appreciation, and my nerves grow even worse. "This is your surprise. I wanted to take you on a ride."
Oh, yes. This is the surprise he has had in mind for me. Holy shit. I've never even so much as ridden on a plane before.
"Charlie Tango?" I repeat shakily, unsure whether to laugh or to consider it a joke. "You've actually named it Charlie Tango?"
"Well, that's what he's called. It's exactly like naming your car."
"Well, I wouldn't know anything about that, would I?" I say. "About people naming their cars, I mean. I don't even have my license yet."
"Do you want to get your license?"
"Of course I do. It would mean a lot of freedom, and less... relying on Carla most of the time to get me around to places where I can't get there alone by walking." I cringe at the mentioning of my mother, with how it comes so freely from my lips. "I'd love to get my license so that I could drive. It's just that... there wouldn't be much time available for anyone to help teach me how to drive. Everyone else is always so busy."
Christian nods at me understandingly. "Then I could always help teach you how to drive?"
"Really?" I ask skeptically. I hadn't expected him to offer. "It's fine if you would be too busy to, of course. Don't think that I'm angling for you to offer to teach me."
He shakes his head, a slight smile on his lips. God, how can someone look so gorgeous. "I wouldn't mind helping you learn how to drive, Ana, not at all. As you said, it'll help with giving yourself that extra bit of freedom. I know, when I was around your age, I couldn't wait to get my license. Sixteen couldn't have come soon enough for me." He doesn't seem as though he feels weird talking about his past younger years with me. In fact, I don't feel weird by it either, surprisingly. I guess that's mainly the appeal though; Talking to someone who already has experienced so much, someone who has so much to say.
"So that's when you first got your license? Sixteen?"
"Soon as I was allowed to, yes. I think I was like most boys in the sense that I was eager to drive. Shall we meet Charlie Tango?"
I'm so frightened by being in a helicopter for the first time that I realize I've been deliberately putting it off by distracting him in asking questions. I take in a deep breath. "Um, okay. Sure. Let's meet Charlie."
I try to look as impassive as possible when he sends a curt nod in his driver Taylor's direction before he unbuckles his seat belt, and I get into unbuckling mine. My hands can hardly operate straight; They are shaking that badly. I wonder if its obvious to him, just how nervous I am about riding on the helicopter with him; No doubt my lack of experience of planes is written all over my face, because I have never so much as flown anywhere by plane before.
Once I'm out of the car and standing outside, he comes to meet me around the car, holding a hand out to me. I don't hesitate to take it, finding comfort in the firm grasp of his hand around mine, in him leading the way and pulling me along the field.
I'm so distracted by the daunting sight of the sharp blades on top of the helicopter and how bigger it seems up front that I've failed to take notice of the old man that stands there behind it, checking something. "All external checks have been done, Mr. Grey," he says, stepping back from the helicopter to shake Christian's hand. "Everything is ready and you're free to go, sir."
"Excellent. Thank you, Joe."
Christian opens the door and directs me into one of the seats at the very front where someone actually steers and drives the helicopter- the cockpit, I think its called. There are all these various buttons in different areas; Buttons in which I have no idea in the slightest of what they mean or what they are used for.
"Make sure you don't touch anything, even by accident," he warns me as he clambers in behind me.
He shuts the door heavily as I sit down in my allocated spot, trying to remain calm and keep myself from hyperventilating. It's obvious that Christian is going to be the one flying the plane- and I so hope he knows what he is doing. Then again, didn't he say flying was one of his many expensive hobbies? Really, I wasn't so sure that he had meant that literally, but clearly he had. As he crouches beside me, helping me with connect the harness in so that I am safely buckled up, its evident he does know exactly what he is doing. Well, he hardly seems anxious about flying at all. I feel all the oxygen leave my lungs as he pulls the upper straps excruciatingly tight, enough that I can hardly move an inch.
"Are you going to be the one that's flying Charlie?" I bring myself to ask.
"I am." Leaning forward, he startles me by leaning forward to plant a quick kiss on my lips, then he moves away, sitting into his seat as well.
"When you said flying was one of your hobbies, I admit I never thought you were actually being serious on that." My voice comes out embarrassing high-pitched, showcasing my nerves. "But wow," I add breathlessly. "This is so amazing. I can't believe you know how to fly a helicopter, of all things."
"Well, I can be a man of many talents," he says lightheartedly. "You seem nervous?" he adds, scrutinizing me as he straps himself in with almost expert ease. As for him, he seems almost excited at the prospect of getting the chance to ride me around in his helicopter; He looks like a man utterly in his element.
"Well, I am. I've never ridden on a helicopter before." I can't even say it without feeling a flush of embarrassment hit me. "I've not even so much as been on a plane. I've never been up in the air before."
"Just breathe and try to relax then," Christian says reassuringly. "You're safe with me."
"Oh, well. I'd hope so, seeing as I'm practically trusting you with my life here. I hope we don't crash."
"We won't," he promises. "I know what I'm doing. I started flying when I was twenty two years old, so I can assure you, Ana, that we'll be perfectly fine and that we won't crash. That makes me a qualified pilot for over seven years." He starts flicking switches and weird buttons and it all happens so fast, its a blur. "And besides, if we do happen to crash- as unlikely as that may be- I know all about survival." The reassuring smile he sends my way makes me feel oddly mushy inside. He points to a set of headphones in front of me. "Put those on. Things do tend to get loud."
I slip the headphones on, and then the rotor blade start. He's right, of course; It does get loud. Deafening, in fact.
"The worst thing might be when we start to go up in the air." Christian's voice comes through my headphones. "Other than that, everything should be smooth. Today's a beautiful day for it."
He's even right about when we start rising into the air. There is so many vibrations, so many weird feelings, like my heart is falling straight down to my navel. Once we're higher, its then I finally muster enough courage to glance outside. And, despite the fear eating away at me for a second, its instantly replaced with wonder. Seeing everything from high-up in the air, its beyond amazing. The higher we get, the smaller everything appears.
"How are you feeling now that we're up in the air?" Christian's voice comes though, and when I bring my eyes over to him, I find him watching me. "Feel better?"
"Kind of," I admit. "It's actually... amazing. Once that initial fear dies down, the sights... its beautiful."
"There." He points at something and when I glance down through the window, I have to squint properly to see it. It's a house, I think. Well, a square roof. "There's your house."
"Oh my God," I laugh out nervously. "It so is my house! Everything looks so different from high up in the air, so... small and compact!"
How ironic; My mother thinks I'm simply spending time with Kate at the mall when, in reality, I'm hovering above our house in a helicopter that Christian himself is flying. It's so hard to wrap my head around it. When I glance at Christian again in amazement, I realize he is staring at me in a peculiarly soft and tender way. I have no idea what that's about, but I grin at him in admiration.
I can't not acknowledge how blessed I am to be having this experience with him. What girl my age gets the chance to ride in a helicopter with the guy she is really into? I'm so fortunate to be getting to experience this, to be riding in a helicopter for the first time in all my seventeen years of life. Can every girl say that they've ever done this?
"I cannot believe that you can actually operate a helicopter," I gush out, shaking my head. "It's so amazing of you. I bet other thirty-year-old's your age could only just dream of having the opportunity."
He shrugs at me, rather dismissively. "I suppose I have just been both incredibly fortunate and lucky to be able to do what I can."
"I don't think fortune or luck really has anything to do with it," I get out without thought. "If anything, I'm the fortunate and lucky one to be sitting here getting to experience this with you. I think you've just been amazingly... driven and accomplished for your age." When I glance past my shoulder his way again, I find he is still staring at me, in that strange way. Self-consciousness settles its way in. "Why are you staring at me like that? Or do I have something horrific on my face?"
Clearly he finds me saying that funny, because I can see he is trying to stifle a smile. "No, you have nothing on your face. It isn't why I'm staring."
"Then why?" I ask suspiciously. "Shouldn't you be focusing on not letting us collide into a tree or something?"
"I just find your facial expressions interesting," he explains straightforwardly, his eyes boring into mine, and I don't know whether he means that in a bad way or not. He glances away with some effort, I notice, checking what's in front of him instead. "You just... I've never brought someone of the opposite sex up here before with me- certainly not one that I am interested in- so it's a first for me. I've done this by myself so many times that it's... exciting seeing it and experiencing it through someone else's eyes for once. It's astonishing how much can be revealed simply by looking at someone's face and their eyes as they see things."
I swallow dryly. "Do I look as petrified as I feel?"
His chuckle echoes through my headphones into my ears. "Hardly. You look beautiful, even if you are petrified like you say you are."
Beautiful. He just said I'm beautiful. My insides seem to squirm in relief and delight over him telling me that.
"Just let me know when you've had enough of flying around and I can take us back," he tells me after a moment.
"Right now, I'm happy to go at least another half an hour," I admit, staring through the window again. "I feel like I can't get enough of the scenery." How amazing.
"Another half an hour it is then."
If I hadn't met Christian, if he hadn't come into my life through my mother... I would have never had experienced this before. The fact that he bothered to take me for a ride... "Thank you so much for this, by the way." I turn to look at him, meeting his eyes so he knows I'm being completely honest. "I love that you surprised me by taking me flying in a helicopter like this. I definitely wasn't expecting it, so you did succeed in surprising me."
"Then I'm glad I've succeeded in surprising you. I hope you are enjoying it despite your first time flight fears?"
"I am a lot." I'm grinning so hard it hurts. "I still can't get over the shock of being up in the air for the first time but it is beyond my expectations." He glances my way again, licking his lips, and I realize I want to kiss him, so badly. I want him to kiss me. Only when I try to inch closer, the harness only pulls me back. I guess I'll just have to wait until we're on the ground to do the kissing then.
"Ready to head back now?" he murmurs knowingly, like he knows what I'm thinking.
"Yes, please." Yes, so I can actually kiss you without the harness holding me in place...
My stomach lurches when Christian suddenly makes the helicopter turn and after a quick maneuver we are turning back.
"So you learned to fly when you were around twenty two?" I ask, trying to make conversation before it all ends.
"I did, yes. It has always been something I've enjoyed- the experience of flying. It is one of the most enjoyable things in the world to me."
"Guess I can't blame you for feeling that way," I reply. "It is amazing, especially with what you get to see high up in the air. If I could fly, I think I'd like to do this all the time, too. It's really beautiful."
Once we finally reach the same area we were when we lifted off the ground, Christian says a few things to someone through the headphone and then gets ready for us to go lower to land. My heart rate picks up as I feel the strange sensations of us sinking lower and lower towards the field. God, are we going to actually land safely? Or will we crash?
Before I know what and I'm doing, out of sheer concern and nothing else, I reach over, placing my hand on Christian's knee closest to me, clenching down with my fingers tightly; The only thing I can possibly reach right now. I close my eyes, the lower and lower it feels we are falling, then finally, Christian removes my headphones off and then his and apparently we have landed smoothly.
"We've touched ground now," he says, eyeing me with some amusement. "You really didn't need to panic so much, Ana. I meant what I said, in that I know what I'm doing. You should learn to trust me a little more." It's hard to hear him through the rotor blades but as they slow and die down to a stop, he at last unbuckles himself and helps get me free from the harness. "I probably should have warned you beforehand," he says, grinning. His face is so close to mine as he kneels over me that the urge to kiss him attacks me again. "Landing is always the trickiest part, Ana. It feels like you are falling or losing control, but you aren't really."
The moment to make the first move in kissing him disappears when he moves away from me, opening the door to the helicopter. Rising to my feet, I realize I've lost all proper sensation in my legs. Well, not so much sensation, but the fact that I can hardly seem to walk in a straight line.
Christian seems to notice me walking funny, and its embarrassing. "Are you all right?" He places a hand on my back, helping to guide me down.
As my trainers hit the grass, I feel like I want to die. My knees feel all trembly and weak. "God, I'm sorry," I laugh out, trying to diffuse my embarrassment somehow. "I'm not used to flying. It's made me feel funny."
"I can carry you to the car, if you'd like?" He doesn't seem too concerned about having to carry me either way.
Seeing a good chance along with it to make my move, I accept, playing it up a little. He comes closer, his body pressing against mine, and as his arms come around me, he lifts me up, the muscles in his arms straining through the white shirt he is wearing as he holds me against him. I curl my arms around his neck, enjoying it perhaps a bit too much, being near and in close proximity with our bodies when he starts walking towards the car with me in his arms, my feet hanging limply in the air.
Silent laughter shakes through my body as I rest my forehead against his before pulling back slightly, staring at his face. His eyes meet mine, and he's so close, so close for it to be the most perfect moment, us kissing. All Christian has to do is move and close those few inches, and his mouth would be landing straight on mine.
Kiss me, my brain screams when I notice his eyes fall down to my lips. He licks his lips before lifting his gaze to mine again, and then I realize painfully that no, he won't do it. Not unless I make the first move and make it known how badly I want it. Maybe he is trying to be purposefully mindful and respectful towards me after all? Like he doesn't want me to feel pressured?
Surely I can't be the only one who feels it too though, could I? The need to kiss? The tension in our bodies at being held so close?
"Feeling better?" he asks, his voice sounding strained and different. His lips graze against the corner of my mouth as he says the words, his breath tantalizingly warm. My head seems to spin, my senses reeling.
Knowing now that I have to make the first move, I lick my lips, moving my head closer. When our mouths at last touch, I hear the mortifying moan I make in relief. I want him to kiss me more, so much more and more constant than what he has been giving me. I feel the muscles in his arms flex as he holds me tighter to his body, his mouth opening as he deepens our kiss.
It feels like my heart is going to burst, any second now. When he lifts one arm off my back, bringing his hand up, he combs his fingers through the strands of my hair gently, moving my fringe away from my face with his fingers. After a few more amazing seconds of his lips moving against mine, his tongue tracing along the line of my lips, he suddenly leans back, pulling away. I'm caught off-guard when Christian's arms loosen around me, and I slide off him, the soles of my shoes hitting the ground. My legs feel rubbery when he pushes me away gently, moving back.
I see the heat in his eyes, the desire as his eyes sliver down my clothes, when Christian rakes his fingers through his hair, breathing raggedly. Then with a brisk shake of his head, he clears his throat hoarsely, turning away from me to open the car door for me.
"How come you don't like kissing me much?" I ask in a thick voice before I lose my courage well and truly.
"Is that what you think?" He levels an incredulous look on me, still breathless. "That I don't like kissing you?"
"You haven't made the move very much to kiss me?"
"I do want to kiss you," Christian says, and he licks his lips again. "I suppose I'm just trying to be... the gentleman here and not make you feel like you are being pressured into doing something you don't want to do."
"Well, maybe you shouldn't worry so much about how I'll feel," I say, and unsure of where this new-found confidence is coming from, I make sure I brush against him while climbing into the backseat of the car, remaining in the middle seat. I keep my eyes on nothing else but him as he sits in the seat next to me, shutting the door. "And besides, personally I think I'm big enough to handle more than a few kisses. I'm not some fragile little kid that can't handle it."
I hear the audible swallow he makes as his eyes bore into mine. "Duly noted. I'll remember that next time."
Hope this was okay and that it wasn't boring or tedious? I have no idea if I am doing this right, and I know that everyone is probably wildly out of character, but I hope that won't affect the story too much. It will ultimately be a happy ending story, there will just be drama from people around them and their perceptions of their relationship. Are you enjoying it so far still? Just a question, would you prefer longer chapters (5,000 words and more) to shorter ones?