I'm really sorry this is a little late, but I've had to take on some more shifts at work over summer so updates might not be quite as quick as they were before hiatus. But on a happier note, I hit 100 reviews! Thank you all so much!
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I go crazy 'cause here isn't where I wanna be
And satisfaction feels like a distant memory
And I can't help myself
All I wanna hear her say is "Are you mine?"
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Merry Christmas to me, Blair mumbled, fidgeting with the bottom of her crocheted dress. The air outside was bitter cold and she could probably have used a warmer coat, but she didn't mind – the numbing power of the wind was actually keeping her grounded. Why she was stood on the Archibalds' front steps she didn't know. Well she knew literally why she was there; she and Nate had been dating again for the weeks since cotillion and she'd been invited to spend Christmas day with them. Eleanor had also been invited, but Blair cringed to think of that discussion.
"Blair?"
The morning after cotillion Blair crept back into her penthouse, hoping it would be as empty as always. But unfortunately for Blair her mother was sat at the dining table typing on a laptop. On her approach she looked up, disdain seeping out of every inch of her face.
"Good morning, mother." Blair greeted, trying not to stammer. If she thought seeing Chuck that night was bad enough, this was ten times worse.
"Afternoon," Eleanor responded dryly.
Very slowly Blair took the seat across from her mother's, crossing her right leg over her left in an attempt to seem confident. But inside she felt like a screaming child, terrified of her wicked stepmother. But alas fairy tales aren't real and the wicked one was her own flesh and blood.
"Do you not recall our conversation before your birthday?" Eleanor's tone was measured, she could have been mentioning their pact never to wear platforms in winter for all anyone else would know, but Blair could hear the malice.
Blair accepted the glass of mango juice Dorota placed in front of her with a concerned look. She took a long sip before answering, "Yes, I do."
Eleanor raised an eyebrow, "So you do recall me telling you we were to have nothing to do with the Archibalds?"
"I broke things off with Chuck, as you wished," Blair informed her, blatantly ignoring what Eleanor had been saying.
"Well obviously!" She exclaimed with humour, but neither laughed. Eleanor frowned again, "I don't condone this reunion; it's not in your best interests."
"Not in yours, you mean," Blair said and immediately flushed at her own guts. The words had meant to be a snarky internal comment, but her lips had betrayed her and it all tumbled out.
Eleanor's lips pursed; she seemed shocked by Blair's rebuttal also.
"The Archibalds," Blair stretched out the family name, feeling invigorated by her newfound power, "Have invited us both for Christmas dinner, would you care to join us?"
She laughed, "Would you care to join your family for Christmas instead, Blair?"
"The Captain and Ann have been more of a family to me than you all my life!" It was a lie but still. Watching Eleanor turn slightly purple with indignation was worth it. It wasn't often Blair said something that actually got through to her.
Eleanor sighed, "Do what you want. I was going to introduce you to my new partner at Christmas but never mind."
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The conversation had been cut short there as Dorota announced a guest for Eleanor, and Blair swore she saw a tiny man kiss her mother's hand before they left.
Blair took a deep breath and knocked on the large mahogany door. Immediately and ironically it was Ann who opened the door (ironic because she'd invited her and not Nate) but her face dropped when she realised Blair was stood alone.
"Merry Christmas, Mrs Archibald," Blair greeted awkwardly when Ann said nothing. Normally she'd correct her and tell her to call her Ann, but she didn't, "Mother is predisposed with some family business, I hope it's not a problem."
"Of course not," Ann said breezily, but her eyes flickered inside the house before letting her in.
Blair followed her in, feeling that premonition again that she was doing totally the wrong thing. But that was the point wasn't it? To punish Chuck for ruining her reputation and to punish herself for letting him. These days she was making herself throw up more than ever; mean girls shouted things at her in the street, she'd all but lost her crown in the humiliation.
"Blair!" Nate exclaimed cheerfully as she entered the reception room. He was sat on the couch with The Captain (who was out on bail), in the middle of what seemed to be a serious conversation about something. The Captain soon left the room as Ann gestured something only he understood.
"Hey," Blair responded with less enthusiasm, allowing him to give her a chaste peck on the lips. She couldn't help but think about how her knees would buckle if it had been Chuck.
He pulled back from the embrace, looking at her with an indistinguishable something in his eyes, "Where's your mom?"
"With her partner," Blair said with irritation, wanting him to be happy she was there and not her mother. Again her mind fell back to Chuck and what he'd said about Nate doing anything for his family, she knew that was his main motivation for wanting her as his girlfriend but it didn't do well for the ego. But that was why she was doing this, wasn't it?
"Oh I didn't know she was seeing someone after…" Nate trailed off awkwardly.
Great, and now she was being reminded of her father's betrayal on Christmas day as well. She glowered, "Yes thanks for that."
"Sorry," Nate apologised, with a pout that would have once melted her heart. But she now just felt irritable and like going home.
Then Ann suddenly turned the corner again, a beamingly fake smile in place and a large tray in her hand, "Drinks!"
As Blair took a flute of champagne she remembered how the Archibald's used to have staff to bring out drinks and such, just another reminder of how hard times had gotten. She felt a little pity for the scared couple and lost boy who stood before her.
The Archibalds Srs began to talk quietly between themselves and Nate launched into an avid discussion of a recent soccer goal he'd scored, so Blair automatically switched off. Her phone buzzed and she opened a message from Serena.
Hey sorry I couldn't spend Christmas with you guys! Hope you have an amazing day and just power through, B. -S
Serena and Humphrey had reunited quickly after cotillion, so she rejected the Archibald's invitation for cut price crimbo in Brooklyn. Blair had been more than a little annoyed but Nate had seemed fairly glad about this, for Serena wasn't exactly approving of them being back dating again. It was odd since she'd been firmly on Nate's side since the beginning of the tumultuous affair, but something unknown to Blair had changed her mind. In fact she was the only person who'd had any contact from Chuck, wherever he was, they regularly spoke on Skype to make sure he hadn't died in a gutter somewhere.
"Is that Serena?" Nate asked, angling his chin so he could see over Blair's shoulder. His tone was carefree but he seemed concerned by something, whether it be Serena herself or who else could have been texting Blair.
"Of course," She breezed back, taking another sip of champagne and slipping the phone back into her Prada handbag.
The group moved things to the dining room, where five places were set along the long dark table. The other place seemed to be staring them all in the face as they took their seats, but no one moved to fix the oversight, almost as if they were still expecting Eleanor to arrive.
"Well this is nice," Blair commented with a tight smile. It wasn't. The atmosphere was very empty and forced unlike the thousands of family dinners Blair had attended during her ten year relationship with Nate, which had been friendly and welcoming. This is a punishment to yourself she reminded herself internally, but feeling the need to leave rising with every stilted word.
"It is," The Captain agreed in a similar fashion. It was becoming noticeable as the dinner went on how much he was having to drink, as they had barely made it through the first course and at least three quarters of his bottle of whiskey was gone. As he drank more, sweat marks were appearing under his arms and he became more tactless and direct with his questions.
"Captain!" Ann exclaimed, shooting him a look after he said something particularly scandalous.
Nate looked very nervous, "Dad, I think you should slow down…"
The Captain shrugged and widened his eyes, "All I'm saying is, I don't really think it was my fault the Waldorf Designs deal fell through. Do you, Blair?"
There was an awkward pause as she looked at each person sitting around the table in turn, not knowing the correct answer. She spoke quietly and slowly, "Well you were arrested for embezzlement and fraud."
Ann sucked in a breath, Nate went very white.
"But I'm not guilty!" He responded, with too much cheer to be sober. He gestured to his family, "Am I honey? Nate?"
His wife laughed uncomfortably, "Of course not. We're totally on your side." She gave Blair a pointed look.
"I'm not saying that you're guilty!" Blair said quickly, regretting even speaking, "I just meant that was the reason the deal fell through."
Ann murmured something under her breath and Blair saw Nate nod minutely. She frowned, "Sorry, I didn't quite catch that."
"I said," She began, a strange glint in her eye, "That's not what I heard."
"W-what?" Blair asked, damning the stammer in her voice. She was sure Bart had removed the Gossip Girl posts and no one under 21 read it anyway, unless Nate had told her…
"You, and that Bass boy," Ann said with a raised eyebrow.
Nate frowned at his mother, "Mom! His name's Chuck, you have met him before."
Blair could hardly be thankful for that feeble attempt at standing up for her, even she could see the disgust when he said Chuck's name.
"Yes, yes. Chuck," The Captain responded, with annoyance, "You, what, dated him so your mother could go into business with Bart? I assume that's why she's not here tonight."
"Dad! Drop it," Nate ordered weakly, shooting Blair an apologetic look.
"What, just sit here and let the Feds cart me off to prison? I need to save this family!" The Captain raised his voice to a bellow, shocking everyone at the table.
Silence fell over the long dining table and only the clinks of cutlery could be heard. Blair was almost close to tears at that point, and attempting to work out how long a dash to the bathroom would take.
"Dear, I think you've had a little too much to drink," Ann chastised in a sickly sweet voice, ignoring how she had provoked him by bringing up Chuck, "Let's go back to what this dinner is really about."
"Christmas?" Blair asked faintly, with ironic humour no one else seemed to get.
Nate suddenly became very animated, fumbling in his pockets for something and looking sideways at Blair. He found it and pulled out a very familiar box.
"Now Blair, I know we've been through a lot," Nate began, with a look of nervous excitement on his face.
Oh no, oh no, Blair shook her head minutely in shock.
"But we were thinking it would be highly appropriate if you would agree to," Ann interrupted, smiling in a similar fashion to Nate.
"And very romantic," Nate corrected, "Because we found our way back to each other…"
Oh hell no.
The moment Nate snapped the velvet box open Blair stood, knocking the heavy table forward with a clash. The three Archibalds stared up at her expectantly, perhaps hoping for a declaration of love or most likely plans for a new business alliance. What was this, a marriage for money? Was Nate really that desperate that he would propose just to get his family out of debt? Don't you find it odd, that his father gets done for corruption and embezzlement, your mother drops out of their business deal and then he shows up here with a birthday gift and a bid to reinstate your union? Without another thought Blair high tailed it out of the dining room and out of the house, Chuck's prophetic words ringing in her head. Once out in the cold she threw up in the gutter, not even needing to stick her fingers down her throat to ensure the vile dinner would reappear.
What had she been thinking? Dating Nate to punish herself was pretty much the worst idea she could ever have had, even punishing Chuck wasn't even worth that. Plus she still didn't really know who'd sent the tip, it could have been Nate all along just to secure her for whatever that charade was.
Cold air had turned icy and snowflakes were even falling from the sky, unusual for New York. It was only then she realised she'd left her jacket inside. It may have been thin and not entirely appropriate, but it was better than nothing. But nothing would make Blair go back in there, so she set off walking through the empty streets, clutching at her elbows for warmth. She had no particular direction, but as always when she wasn't thinking properly she ended up at the central park duck pond – but it was frozen over and there were no ducks in sight.
Christmas hasn't been that amazing, left the Archibalds but I don't want to go home to Eleanor… -B She typed out in response to Serena's original text. She hesitated for a moment before pressing send, collapsing back onto the icy bench at the same time.
Blair didn't know how long she sat alone before a voice called out of the swirling snow. A male voice, "Blair?"
Her heart plummeted, "What do you want, Chuck?"
The boy came into her line of vision, wearing a tartan suit and large, warm coat that made Blair extremely jealous.
"I didn't even know you were back," She said lamely, for why would he tell her if she was? She'd dumped him unceremoniously and gone back to his best friend, no matter how fake both those relationships were.
"They don't celebrate Christmas in Morocco," Chuck explained, with a small smirk. He wasn't acting angry with her, which was odd after the way they'd left things.
Blair nodded and looked away, preferring to stare at the white abyss rather than at his face. She felt him put his coat around her and she shrugged it off with a frown, "It's freezing out, don't be an idiot."
"Says the girl wearing a paper thin crochet dress with three quarter sleeves, right okay," He rebutted, placing the coat back over her shoulders, "I have my suit. I'm fine."
She hesitated for a moment before stuffing her arms in the sleeves greedily, accepting his body warmth all over her body with the first stroke of happiness all day. She smiled uncertainly, "Merry Christmas."
"You too," Chuck responded with uncharacteristic warmth. He stared at her tear streaked face and chattering teeth, pushing himself to ask the question he'd been meaning to since he saw her, "Why are you out in the cold, on your own?"
"Why are you?" She shot back with a self-satisfied look (but that could have been the smell of his cologne on the coat making her happy).
He didn't respond, just rubbed his hands together before shoving them in his pockets.
Blair sighed, "I ran away from the Archibalds." She winced when she saw a muscle twitch in Chuck's jaw at the mention of his former best friend.
"Trouble in paradise?" He asked sarcastically, rolling his eyes.
She shot him a look, but nodded slightly, "You were right."
"As always," Chuck said arrogantly, "What about this time?"
"Nate was using me," Blair said and watched any humour drain out of Chuck's face, "He tried to propose to me, to save his dad."
There was no quick retort from Chuck this time, he just laughed, the sound hard and as cold as the snow settling in Blair's hair. He leaned forward, "You're seriously complaining to me, about being used?"
Blair realised how stupid she'd sounded, and now he was as mad with her as ever.
Chuck grabbed her hand roughly, "What no Archibald ring?" He narrowed his eyes, "Is it at the jewellers being resized? You have lost some weight."
Was he saying what she thought he was saying? No way, he was not going to hold this over her or even get a reaction, "Not that it's any of your business but I left before giving him an answer."
"Taking a breather before becoming the new Mrs Nate Archibald to be, then?" He responded acidly.
Blair raised an eyebrow, "Are you jealous, Bass?"
"What is there to be jealous of?" He laughed coldly again, "A pathetic girl who can't stand up to her mother, or be honest with someone she's known for years."
"And you can stand up to Bart? How did he react when he found out we weren't dating anymore?"
Chuck didn't look at her. Blair wondered if that was the reason for his sudden disappearance to Europe after cotillion. She also noted the ghost of a bruise over his left eye and tried to remember what the black eye Nate gave him looked like, because she had a feeling it wasn't like that.
"What are you even doing here, you never answered me?" Blair asked, all the fight leaving her voice. If he hated her, why would he even come talk to her?
His eyes met hers for a short moment, then he stood, "I don't even know." And Chuck was gone. Blair was left in his wake, wearing his thick coat but still shivering.
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The Bass-Van-Der-Woodsen penthouse was quiet, but full of people. Bart and Lily were sat on the cool leather couch, speaking in hushed tones. Eric was sat alone – most likely wondering why he bothered leaving the Osterof Centre for this. As Chuck stepped out of the elevator he was immediately assaulted by Serena, who was staring at him knowingly.
"Did you find her?" Serena asked slightly anxiously.
Chuck nodded, not quite looking her in the eye.
"Well?" She pushed, "What happened?"
"I don't know why you pushed me to do that, it was completely pointless," He grumbled, walking into the kitchen and pouring himself a scotch.
Serena followed him, "You guys didn't make up?"
"Make up?" Chuck scoffed, knocking back the alcohol, "She's getting engaged to Nathanial."
"She's what?" She exclaimed, causing the other three occupants of the room to look up in interest, "Sorry. You saw the ring?"
"Well no, she hasn't said yes yet," He admitted, frowning.
"So there's still a chance!" Serena grabbed his arm and shook it a bit, but she was shrugged off immediately.
"Who says I want a chance? Maybe I don't even want her anymore."
"Chuck," Serena said, as seriously as she could despite the smile betraying her lips, "You love her!"
He glared at her and slammed the glass back onto the counter, before stalking into the sitting room. Bart looked up from a phone call and gestured to the seat next to him.
"Are we going to find out why I was called here from Brooklyn now?" Serena asked, following Chuck into the room and sitting next to Eric.
The sound of the elevator pinging was heard faintly as Bart stood, "As you all know, my new business deal could easily be my biggest of the decade. But it's a family friendly company so all of us are under consideration. That's why I encouraged you to stay with that Humphrey boy, Serena and why you all moved in here so quickly. But the main concern in you now, Charles. But I have found a solution."
The sound of high heels on marble echoed around and the occupants all looked up; Serena gasping, Eric frowning and Chuck going slightly white. For, stood before them was Georgina Sparks, looking festive in a sparkly red and green dress.
"Meet your new girlfriend, Charles."
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I'm a puppet on a string
Tracy Island, time travelling
Diamond cutter shaped heartaches
Come to find you four in some velvet morning
Years too late
~R U Mine by The Arctic Monkeys
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Cliffhanger… Let me know your thoughts!