A/N: My vampires/vampire characteristics are my own creation (I didn't copy Twilight). Thought it all up in my brain! XP

Chapter 10: La Vie en Rose, Part 4

Matthew stared down at Francis, his eyes wide in shock, his breathing hampered by Francis' hold on the neck of his shirt that was keeping him propped up against the wall.

"F-Francis?" He choked out, his heart breaking at the dead and resigned look in the Frenchman's blue eyes. "What do you mean?" Francis sighed, slowly letting Matthew down back to the ground, though he kept him firmly against the wall still.

"Erasing your memory will make it easier for everyone if you cannot forget me on your own," he said, his lips pressed in a firm line. "This has gone on long enough. This game, this distraction. It was nice while it lasted but it is time for it to end."

Matthew couldn't believe what he was hearing. His violet-blue eyes suddenly started to sting, tears swimming on their surface. "A game?" He said in disbelief. "Distraction? How dare you call my feelings for you nothing but a game?" His voice remained soft but the anger in his tone was unmistakeable.

Francis stared down at him, a small frown on his face. "Mathieu, I do not want to forcibly remove your memory. But if you persist in being difficult –"

"Why?" Matthew demanded, his eyes flashing. "Why are you doing this? I-I thought that you might have liked me, even if just a little." His voice grew softer and he dropped his gaze. "I don't understand," he whispered. Francis sighed, loosening his hold on Matthew's shirt slightly.

"You are human, correct?" Matthew glanced up again, a tiny frown on his face as he nodded. "As you have discovered, I am a vampire, yes?" Mattie nodded again, confused as to where this was going. "In other words," Francis explained emotionlessly, "as you should already have figured out by now, I will live forever and you will die in maybe sixty or seventy years." Matthew swallowed past the lump in his throat. Of course he had known that. But some small part of him had hoped that they would be able to stay together for whatever time they had.

"Yes," he whispered. "But Francis, I love you now. Couldn't we be together for however long we have now?" Francis dropped his hand completely from the neck of his shirt and he gave a short bark of laughter as he turned away.

"Do you remember how earlier, mon Cherie, I told you that I was the one who had left those previous lovers of mine? How I was the one who had gotten out before anything bad happened?" Matthew nodded but he realized Francis couldn't see him so he made a sound of agreement in his throat.

Francis ran a heavy hand over the wooden footboard of the bed, his shoulders slumping ever so slightly. "I lied, Mathieu. I never left them." He took a deep breath before letting out a long, pained sigh. "They were the ones that left me far, far behind."

Matthew felt his heart break as he heard sadness leak through the Frenchman's stoic façade. "What do you mean?" He asked quietly, not moving from his position against the wall.

Francis ran a finger across the footboard, his head bowed, waves of golden hair hiding his face from view. "I met Marie before I became a vampire," he said quietly. "She was very young but beautiful and I adored her and she loved me. At the time, I was a penniless young man so her parents didn't approve of us but we didn't care. We met whenever we could.

"After I became a vampire, however, she of course noticed my strange behaviour. In my fear, I eventually told her. At first she was incredulous but after seeing my fangs and watching me drink blood she accepted the fact. Obviously it was a big adjustment but she stayed by my side, even going so far as to defy her parents and move in with me, which was unheard of in those days. I was scared and confused but I believed that as long as we had each other we'd be okay." Francis sighed then and turned back around to face Mattie, his handsome, perfect face worn and sad.

"A few months later, she became pregnant. We were overjoyed at first. But then strange things began to happen. The baby inside her was apparently half of a vampire and it slowly but surely began to kill her from the inside. I was helpless as I watched her get weaker and weaker, her beautiful face becoming grey, her hair losing its luster. Then, one day, she died in her sleep after having coughed up blood the night before. The baby stopped moving and I assumed that it had died as well in its mother's womb." Francis took a slightly shaky breath as he put a hand on the footboard for support.

"After I buried her," he said quietly, "I lost it. I tried to kill myself, numerous times. It was then I realized that I could not die. No matter what I did to myself, however much I tried to cause damage to my body, I would always walk away without a scratch. The knowledge of the fragility of humans, of the finiteness of their lives, was what I took away from that tragedy. I vowed to myself that nothing like that would ever happen again, that I would leave before anything became too deep so I could avoid the inevitable pain it would bring me." Francis ran a hand through his long blond hair. "Up until you, Mathieu, no one else has discovered that I am a vampire. Every now and again, in one city or another, someone would catch my eye with whom I began a relationship with. But I always took care to control myself in their presence, to hide my true identity and as soon as I sensed them beginning to want a long-term commitment, like a family, I made my excuses and skipped out on them. I tried to convince myself that it was me that was doing the leaving but I knew that it was me being the coward, knowing that they would eventually leave me, one way or another."

Francis glanced up at Matthew and frowned, stepping towards him and placing a cold hand on his cheek. "It's been about twenty years since the Fates trapped me in Dis," he said quietly, looking down at Mattie solemnly. "I was in a…low point in my life, involved in things and deals that would probably shock you. I suppose this is my punishment, my curse for living life telling myself that I cared for no one." Francis dropped his hand slowly. "You broke all the rules Mathieu," he quietly whispered, leaning forwards to brush a kiss along Matthew's cheek, making the Canadian shiver in desire. "I was terrified when you found out that I was a vampire," he murmured, ghosting his lips over Matthew's ear. "But you responded to my advances, advances that I hadn't let myself try before, so well that I couldn't help myself." He bent his head to slowly slide his fangs across Matthew's soft neck, slightly breaking the skin. Matthew moaned softly.

"Francis…" he whispered, his violet-blue eyes large and looking at Francis with innocent and total love. "I love you." Francis' face fell and he sighed heavily, leaning away.

"Mon Cherie, I do not want to do this. I will give you a minute to leave or else I will forcibly erase your memory." Mattie watched as Francis turned his back on him and walked over to the bed, keeping his gaze on the floor.

Matthew was a whirl of emotions. Francis' story was so sad. Always alone, never allowing himself to hope for a future with anyone, afraid of the pain it would bring him. Matthew felt himself grow sick with desperation to help him, to save him. He couldn't let himself forget Francis, he couldn't make himself forget him. The vampire was ingrained into his soul now. They were one. And Matthew could not stand by and watch Francis continue on this path of self-dependency and pretending that he felt nothing when it was clear that keeping such a distance from other people was hurting him terribly. So he remained where he was and said nothing.

Francis sighed and slowly turned around, his expression dark and sad. "Mathieu…"

"Turn me into a vampire," Matthew blurted out, the idea coming to him in a flash. Francis' eyes widened in shock before changing into a small and condescending smile.

"Mon Cherie," he said in his usual sultry voice, his blue eyes like ice, "you do not know what you are saying." Matthew frowned and shook his head vehemently.

"Non, Francis," he said adamantly. "I want this." Francis laughed dryly but his eyes held no amusement.

"Do you mock me Mathieu?" He asked acidly, stepping towards the Canadian who had nowhere to run. "I could erase your memory in the blink of an eye." Matthew looked up at him, a bit scared but his voice was steady.

"You won't," he whispered, telling himself that he believed it. Francis gazed down at him and then his shoulders slumped. He brought a tired hand to his head, rubbing his eyes.

"You do not know anything, Mathieu," he said quietly. "You do not know the horror you have at first, the aversion, the disgust you feel towards yourself. You do not know the intense loneliness you feel when you think about remaining like this for the rest of eternity. You don't know. That is why I cannot do this to you. This is why I can't have you ending up like I have." He opened his eyes to look down at Matthew's open and sincere face. Regret and sorrow raced across his features. "You can't."

Matthew slowly reached up to touch Francis' cool cheek, caressing it softly. "That was when you were alone, Francis," he whispered, never breaking his gaze with Francis' sad blue eyes. "You will have me now. You won't be alone anymore. I'll be with you forever." Francis stared down at the Canadian in shock, his blue eyes blinking away sudden tears.

"M-Mais…your life, your family..." Matthew shook his head.

"I will have eternity to live many different lives with you," he whispered, reaching up with his other hand to cup Francis' head in between his hands. "I have no immediate family and no friends besides Alfie and Gil who will notice any difference." Francis' hands clenched at his sides, desire and fear warring in his eyes.

"I can't damn you to an eternity of this Mathieu," he whispered, his eyes filled with regret.

Matthew stood on his tiptoes to slowly press a kiss to Francis' lips. He broke away slightly, looking up into Francis' eyes, their breaths mingling together.

"Eternity with you is the farthest thing from hell that I can think of, mon chère." Francis let out a shuddering breath and tilted his head forwards to rest on Matthew's smaller shoulder.

"It is painful," he choked out into Mattie's shirt.

"The pain will only last for a little while," Matthew whispered, stroking Francis' hair. Francis wrapped his arms around Mattie's waist, pulling him close to himself.

"I don't deserve you," he whispered, squeezing him tightly. "I never will, with a thousand lifetimes." Mattie held him tenderly, fear fluttering in his heart but love for the man in his arms squashing it down. If it meant he could both save Francis and allow them to be together at the same time, he would do anything.

Francis let him go reluctantly and disappeared into his bathroom. He came back holding a cup in his hands. He looked at Matthew, fear already beginning to gather in his eyes. "Mon Cherie," he asked, "are you sure?" Matthew touched his arm reassuringly and sat down on the bed, taking a deep breath.

"I'm ready," he said quietly, terror clutching his heart before he took a deep breath, calming himself down. He watched as Francis brought his own wrist up to his mouth and carefully made an incision there, allowing the blood to run down his wrist and drip steadily into the cup he held underneath.

When there was a layer of thick red blood about five centimetres thick in the bottom of the cup, Francis slowly handed the cup to Matthew. Mattie took it, annoyed to see that his hand was shaking. If Francis went through this alone, he thought determinedly, looking down at the cup of vampire blood he now held, then surely I can do it with him standing beside me.

Matthew closed his eyes, brought the glass to his lips and tilted his head back. The red liquid crossed his lips and he quickly gulped it down, ignoring the sickly iron taste, his stomach clenching in revulsion and fear.

The effect the blood had on his body was immediate. The glass slipped from fingers that began to shake uncontrollably, Francis barely catching it before it hit the floor. Matthew could feel the blood diffuse from his throat and stomach into his bloodstream, setting his body on fire. His body stiffened, his eyes widening in fear.

"F-Francis…" he choked out through trembling lips. Slowly and tenderly, Francis moved Mattie so he was lying down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Francis sat beside him and held his hand, his eyes sad and regretful.

"I'm so sorry Mathieu," he said quietly as Matthew trembled in the bed. "So, so sorry." Matthew took a shuddering breath, fighting to stay above the waves of pain spreading throughout his body. He shook his head and locked his gaze onto Francis'.

"No," he gasped, his lungs straining to find air in spite of his fear. "Don't say sorry. Say you love me, Francis. Please..." Francis' lips trembled and he bit them to stop himself from losing control over his emotions.

He bent down to embrace Mattie, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheeks which were already turning cold. "Je t'aime, mon Mathieu," he whispered hoarsely. "Je t'aime avec tout mon cœur. "

That was the last thing Mattie heard before his blood became fire, his vision turned red and a cry of pain left his lips.

Translations:

Je t'aime, mon Mathieu. Je t'aime avec tout mon coeur - I love you, my Matthew. I love you with all of my heart.

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